Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 325

“Tutor me, Teacher Gi Jisaeng.”

“…Pardon?”

Gi Jisaeng’s expression rapidly twisted into one of disgust.

“Just because I cherish you and love your life doesn’t mean I can tolerate your use of honorifics.”

Looks like the tutoring is fine.

“Do you prefer being spoken down to?”

“The way you say it makes it sound like there’s something wrong with me, but honestly, yes.”

“Anyway, please tutor me.”

“…Haa.”

Gi Jisaeng quietly stroked the fox.

“It’s a waste. You’d be better off doing something else with that time.”

“I don’t want to.”

Cutting him off, Gi Jisaeng, seemingly dumbfounded, lifted the fox and held it face to face.

“…Hyun.”

“Yes.”

The fox, in good spirits, grinned as it replied.

“Ask him to bite him.”

“If I could have gotten away with it, I would have killed him a long time ago, Teacher.”

How cool. Lee Hyunjae has that exact charm.

“Um, Hyun.”

“Yes?”

Gi Jisaeng looked at me, troubled.

“…Um, what should I do? It’s our kindergarten’s principle to grant the child’s wishes.”

“Are you aware that if I die, you’ll be struck off the register, Teacher?”

“That’s probably a figurative expression. It means he’s tormenting you to the point where you feel like dying, Hyun, right?”

“Yes.”

Smart, and cute too. The other animals are cute as well; I’d like to talk to them.

“Anyway, I’m asking you to tutor me.”

“Yes.”

“Let’s start by fixing your tone; it’s revolting to listen to.”

“Okay.”

“Reason?”

“You already know.”

I can’t just weakly think, ‘Okay. Gi Jisaeng knows more than I do and must have considered all possibilities,’ and wallow in despair. That’s not the attitude of a philosophical human.

The essence of philosophy lies in negation.

Just as structuralists gave rise to post-structuralists who argued that the structures they had built were slipping away. Just as Adorno constructed negative dialectics by criticizing Hegel.

If someone declares something impossible, I cannot agree until I understand all the grounds for that declaration.

Laboriously climbing onto the shoulders of giants and stabbing them in the neck is, in a sense, the fundamental spirit of philosophy.

Gi Jisaeng, who had been slowly reading my thoughts, bloomed a full smile on his face and slyly asked.

“Have you perhaps developed a mental illness? I can cure you, you know.”

Such discriminatory remarks. Gi Jisaeng’s disregard for ethical consciousness is truly magnanimous (this is the limit of my ability to insult Gi Jisaeng any further).

“Even you would have done this, Teacher.”

It’s clear.

“…Haa, let’s correct the honorifics too.”

“Even if it was you.”

“Are you asking me to tutor you because you want to stab me in the neck?”

I came out of the sink and returned to my seat. The sensation of being the only one moving while everyone else is frozen is strangely bizarre.

“Yes.”

“…How cute, really. It’s a similar feeling to how I find your AI cute.”

“In case you don’t know, that means you’re being incredibly presumptuous.”

The fox was glaring at the presumptuous guy.

Gi Jisaeng nodded a few times in agreement.

“Do you know how long I’ve lived?”

“You’ve never told me exactly.”

Before sitting down, I noticed Chae Hamin, who was jumping up and down, turning towards me. So, he’s been doing this.

“Are you aware that you can’t just easily synchronize like last time?”

“I suppose.”

Even when I was initially injected with music-related knowledge, it felt like my head was burning, so it’s obvious that my brain probably can’t handle it.

But if I can learn directly, why would I do that?

Gi Jisaeng once again slowly read my inner thoughts.

He frowned a few times, continued to read, and then sighed deeply.

“You can’t learn everything, and even if you did, all you’d be doing is agreeing with me.”

“So?”

“You’re not usually this foolish…….”

Incomprehensible eyes, twitching lips.

I know what he wants to say. He’s telling me to spend that time on other leisure activities, or to at least get some sleep and improve my quality of life.

“You talk too much, Teacher.”

“Honorifics.”

No way.

“Teach me, Teacher.”

“Haa, using that as blackmail, really.”

“Wouldn’t it be possible to stop time and teach me?”

I leaned back leisurely. I’m fine being on this plane until I know everything.

“Do you know how difficult that is? I won’t have time to teach you because I’ll be dealing with the side effects.”

“Then, I’ll just reduce my sleep.”

“You’ll live a short life if you live like that.”

“I’m not that weak.”

Of course. The moment your lifespan and mine became connected, I decided to live a long life.

Ryu Iden, wait. I’m planning to compete with you for the Guinness World Record.

Gi Jisaeng narrowed his brows, stroked the fox, and closed his eyes. Then, the fox looked at me primly and sighed deeply.

“Teacher, please educate that inferior being.”

“…It’s full of inefficiencies, Hyun.”

“Creating us was inefficient too.”

How articulate. Gi Jisaeng didn’t refute, perhaps because it was true, and picked up the fox again.

“Do you really want that, Hyun?”

“Yes.”

The fox nodded with sparkling eyes.

“You never know.”

Gi Jisaeng sighed again. He had the look of ‘Do I have to tutor someone at my age?’

Come to think of it, how long has it been since Gi Jisaeng tutored someone?

“Honestly, you like talking to me, Gi Jisaeng.”

As I said nonchalantly, Gi Jisaeng chuckled.

My conversations with me are one of the important amusements in Gi Jisaeng’s gray life.

“Actually, I know you like having conversations with me too.”

Yes, besides Mokwha and the members, including Chae Hamin, there wouldn’t be anyone who has observed me more closely than you.

Then, a gaze full of disgust flashed across the screen.

“I’m confident I can beat all of them except Mokwha.”

How dare you, compare things that can be compared, his inner thoughts were readable just by looking at his face.

“When shall we start, student?”

He must have made up his mind.

I don’t know the reason. Originally, those in the position of learning are bound to be full of unknowns.

“From tonight.”

“Very well, I shall make you admit your impossibility with your own mouth and make you mourn me.”

So, that was it. He wanted to see me acknowledge my own limitations. However.

“I will definitely stab you in the neck, Gi Jisaeng.”

Originally, philosophy is about previous logic trying to prove itself right even as time passes, only to collapse on its own. As Derrida’s deconstruction clearly shows.

I closed my eyes at the end of the conversation.

“May I release you now?”

“Yes.”

“Um, okay, well. I guess it’s okay since it’s Hamin.”

As Gi Jisaeng muttered something incomprehensible, the sound of the plane taking off poured into my ears.

* * *

Chae Hamin clearly remembers the scene he saw a moment ago.

Ji Donghwa, with his eyes closed and a pale complexion, frowning as if having an unpleasant dream.

But now, in that short span of time, Ji Donghwa had returned to his usual complexion. As if what he had seen a moment ago was an illusion.

“Eh.”

The reason he uttered that foolish sound was because of that.

Ji Donghwa slowly opened his eyes. As if waking up from a deep sleep.

“Why, Hamin.”

“No, uh? What is it. No, it’s not.”

“What is.”

“No, more than that! Donghwa, you need to eat!”

“Okay.”

Ji Donghwa picked up his spoon and ate the already covered, covered?

“…Why is this covered?”

“Who knows.”

He peacefully eats his meal. As if it’s tasteless but he has no choice because he lacks nutritional supplements, a terrible sense of duty was evident in his eyes.

“No, no. What is it.”

Chae Hamin looked around with a chilling feeling.

Is there some kind of ghost? Is this being possessed by a raccoon, or something!

“Hamin.”

“Uh, uh, why?”

“I might be a little late getting back to the dorm today.”

Then, he pops a piece of meat into his mouth.

“…Why?”

Ji Donghwa, chewing thoroughly for a long time, swallowed his food and answered.

“I’m going to stop by a library if there’s one nearby.”

“To borrow a book? Can you do that in a foreign country?”

“No. There will be a reading room. If there isn’t one nearby, I’ll go to a cafe.”

Oh, this, I’ve heard this conversation a lot.

Chae Hamin pondered deeply. Surely, similar words, …I heard them from Hyunjae!

“Are, are you going to study?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have anything left to study?”

Ji Donghwa smiled slightly as if his words were funny. He chewed and swallowed his rice and looked over here.

“Yes.”

Even smiling with his eyes, what made Ji Donghwa so gentle! A pure, innocent smile that’s hard to see even once a month.

“Wow.”

Chae Hamin burst out with a pure exclamation at that.

Chae Hamin was so curious.

What on earth is he going to study! What is he studying that makes him show such a smile. As a Ji Donghwa Understanding PhD, he couldn’t stand it.

“I’m, going too.”

“The library?”

“Yes! I’m going to study foreign languages!”

Half of it is a lie. He will memorize foreign language sentences, but the main purpose is to see what Ji Donghwa is doing.

“Are you really only going to study?”

Ji Donghwa wiped his mouth with a tissue and asked. His eyes were full of worry.

However, this Chae Hamin is a man who does what he says. He may not have studied well (or rather, he didn’t), but he’s first-class at observing Ji Donghwa. Who was the one who gave special lectures on reading expressions?

“I’m only going to study too.”

“Um, okay.”

Ji Donghwa tilted his head once, puzzled. He seemed to have some conviction that it couldn’t be true.

“…Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Yes!”

“There are so many more fun things in the world.”

“It’s okay!”

Chae Hamin said brightly.

* * *

However, at the cafe they arrived at together (the library was too far from the tourist attractions), Chae Hamin couldn’t help but be embarrassed.

Even though Chae Hamin hadn’t studied at all, he had a picture of what studying was like.

But Ji Donghwa, right now in front of him, with his eyes closed and his hands on the table, was straightening his back as if meditating.

Is this really studying? Do all the kids who go to Korea University study like this? No, he wasn’t like this when he was cutting apples for Hyunjae!

Chae Hamin, thinking such thoughts, opened his notebook and scanned the foreign language pronunciations and their meanings written in Korean.

But with such a bizarre sight in front of him, how could he not ask?

“…Do, Donghwa.”

“Yes, Hamin.”

“…Studying?”

“Yes.”

And then silence again, Chae Hamin was very embarrassed.

What are you talking about, Donghwa. Even if I’m stupid, I know that’s called meditation.

Chae Hamin couldn’t stop his eyes from going to Ji Donghwa.

What is it, I want to ask. I keep wanting to talk to him.

Biting his constantly twitching muscles around his eyes and lips, and even tilting his head once in a moment of not understanding.

Because so many new expressions were appearing, Chae Hamin wanted to know so much what was happening under those eyelids.

But he promised. That he would study hard here today.

Chae Hamin bit his lip.

Hold on, Hamin. You have to keep the promise you made with Donghwa no matter what. Thinking of Iden’s betrayal, Chae Hamin buried his head on the table and groaned.

“…Hamin.”

He jumped up.

“Yes, uh! Studying!”

Ji Donghwa looked around once, then bent down and whispered quietly.

“I’m talking to Gi Jisaeng.”

“…Wow, so, you’re getting tutoring from yourself?”

Chae Hamin also bent down and whispered.

“Yes.”

“That’s cool. I want to talk to myself too!”

Sparkling eyes. Ji Donghwa chuckled and teased Chae Hamin, saying, ‘Close your eyes and try it.’

Even though Chae Hamin noticed that, he closed his eyes and placed his hands neatly on the table.

Ji Donghwa also laughed a few times and then closed his eyes slightly in the same posture as Chae Hamin to concentrate again.

In a small cafe on the outskirts with not many people, two men sit facing each other, closing their eyes as if communicating with their souls, a silent time flows for thirty minutes.

And this silent time caught the attention of the local Taiwanese people and became a rumor on the internet, ‘A meditation gathering of two handsome men.’