Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 361

Simba got up from his spot, enjoying the petting.

With the majesty of a wild beast, he moved and laid his head on Ji Donghua’s lap.

His breathing was raspy. He closed his eyes tightly, enjoying the peace, and made no sound.

Ji Donghua wiped the tears from his cheeks with a stiff hand, his face hardened when he saw Simba’s face. Then, with an indifferent expression, he reached out again and placed his hand on Simba’s neck.

“What is this, really?”

A sound of disbelief leaked from the side.

The zookeeper put the food he brought on the feeding table and sat with his back against the glass wall. His eyes were filled with a mixture of mystery and astonishment.

“I knew Simba liked people, but he never got this close.”

“Doesn’t he approach you too, Zookeeper?”

“I’ve seen it a few times. Simba seemed comfortable around the zookeeper. Sometimes, he even tried to approach him.”

“Sometimes, a long education can be a hindrance.”

A lonely smile followed.

“I hear a lot of stories. Since I’m here as a researcher and zookeeper to study tiger ecology, I can’t help but hear about safety accidents. So, even when he approaches, I step back.”

Ji Donghua looked down at Simba’s face.

A tiger that looked peaceful but was at the end of his life.

The zookeeper was probably rationally afraid of Simba, because he’s an animal that could bite his neck at any time.

‘Well, honestly, maybe I’m the strange one. I can’t feel any fear at all.’

It was quiet. Ji Donghua stared at the zookeeper.

Whenever he came here, he often talked to him. He remembered the eyes that looked at Simba wistfully from outside the glass wall, just like his own.

“I’ll go out for a bit.”

The zookeeper got up and dusted off his pants.

“And if Simba seems to be struggling, please call me.”

“…Why don’t you sit next to him?”

A pause. His steps stopped.

Ji Donghua, still looking down at Simba, had absolutely no change in expression.

“In ten minutes.”

Studying animals is an act of trying to understand a subject that cannot be communicated with.

Therefore, even though Hong Heonmin knew the meaning of those words, he understood the non-verbal signals first. It was an unavoidable occupational hazard.

‘Would ten minutes be enough?’

“No, I’ll come back in an hour to sit next to him.”

*Thud*, the door closed with a dull sound.

Ji Donghua thought for a moment, ‘Is this okay?’ Logically, putting a wild animal and an ordinary person in the same room was quite a choice. It was something the zookeeper would never do normally.

Beyond the glass wall, the zookeeper, Hong Heonmin, slowly left the room. Like slow motion.

* * *

As soon as the door closed, Ji Donghua cried endlessly.

The tiger looked at Ji Donghua’s face, wondering if it was raining because of the water droplets falling on his cheek.

It was a signal he couldn’t understand at all; water was flowing from his eyes.

Was he feeling unwell?

Like his own body, was he hurting somewhere? He had lived as long as himself, so maybe.

The being who had been guarding his surroundings when he was first imprisoned in an unknown place, stabbed in one foot by something sharp.

A being who had constantly cared for him, afraid that the weak him would die.

How to deal with pain was ingrained in his instincts.

The tiger licked Ji Donghua’s cheek once.

‘Don’t be in pain.’

With the benevolent posture of a mountain god, this time he would guard Ji Donghua’s surroundings, who was in pain.

This place is small. Even smaller than his original territory, which was ingrained in his genes.

When wandering through the forest, he encounters strange obstacles. But he never thought of crossing them.

Because he has to wait for those who come to this place. If he leaves his territory, they won’t be able to find him.

The tiger’s worries deepened as he continued to see the flowing water. He made a soft growling sound and burrowed into Ji Donghua’s arms.

He used to be able to hug him with these hands, but at some point, whether it was his size or something else, he had become bigger.

But even so, the tiger burrowed inside as if he didn’t know.

Right now, his body is weak, so he has to be careful of his surroundings. If someone takes advantage of this moment to attack, the weak him will die too.

If so, he would have to gather his remaining strength, bite his neck, and run away.

His body is the problem. Breathing is not easy. He doesn’t have a good sense of whether his limbs are moving as he wants them to.

“Simba.”

It’s a familiar voice. As a tiger, he can’t understand the phonemes [basic units of sound], but the voice is clear.

The sound of him calling. To him, it wasn’t a concept of words, but rather like a cry.

His voice is trembling today. He’s not in good condition after all.

He remembers the invisible wall that blocked him. And today, he knows that he has crossed that wall.

Simba licked Ji Donghua’s face repeatedly, and then felt his hand stroking his fur.

“You look like you’re in pain.”

It’s an unfamiliar voice. But it’s a comfortable voice.

Whenever he comes here, Ji Donghua would chatter alone, and he would just sit next to him. That was the routine.

Just like when he was in pain from being stabbed by something, he was there next to him.

“Let’s meet again.”

He can’t understand. But that voice didn’t tremble like before.

Wondering if his condition had improved, the tiger looked at Ji Donghua for a moment. But he was still shedding water.

‘How can he stop that?’

[What does that mean?]

“Because if there’s an end, there’s also a beginning.”

[If you’re talking about living in this world again, it’s theoretically impossible, as I always say.]

“Sometimes, a long education can be a hindrance.”

A conversation that is invisible to the tiger continues.

Gradually, the water stopped. Is his condition improving? He needs to eat meat. He knows very well that he doesn’t feel like eating when he’s sick. He has to eat well when he’s not sick.

“I’m also feeling this warmth because I crossed the glass wall.”

If he had given up on existing common sense, would he have been able to stroke him like this?

As with everything, as Ryu Iden always says, you can’t know until you try.

[You’ve changed a lot too.]

“How many times are you going to say that?”

Ji Donghua wiped his cheeks. He’s getting old and sentimental.

The tiger finally got up from his seat and approached the place where the food was. There was no energy in his steps. Then, he stared at Ji Donghua as if to say, ‘What are you doing, not coming?’

“Sorry, Simba.”

He had no choice but to get up, but he couldn’t eat raw meat. Instead, he sat next to him and gently stroked Simba.

Saying goodbye is so sad.

When he was young, it was too sudden to even have time to accept it, but even if he was given time, nothing changed.

Whether it’s a death notice received by phone or a peaceful end watched from the side like this, everything is so sad.

* * *

Hong Heonmin stood outside the door and monitored the observation CCTV [Closed-Circuit Television] in real time with his phone.

He also held a tranquilizer gun in one hand to rush in immediately if a situation occurred.

“…Team Leader, I’m sorry.”

The tranquilizer gun required permission to use, but researchers who managed some wild animals were allowed to report after use in emergency situations.

If he knew about this, even the team leader who cared for him would have no choice but to fire him.

After confirming that Ji Donghua had finished crying on the screen, he quickly ran to return the gun. He listed the simple words ‘improvement of safety’ as the purpose of use and entered again.

Before opening the door, a gentle voice rang out as if welcoming him.

“Have you come?”

Hong Heonmin’s body lost strength. He entered with peaceful steps. Tension rose on its own.

‘Ha, I’ve only dreamed of sitting here in my life, but it’s becoming a reality.’

Simba, who was rubbing his face on Ji Donghua’s leg, looked at Hong Heonmin and lowered his head again as if to say, ‘What? It’s safe.’

Hong Heonmin slowly approached Simba and sat down.

Did he feel the presence? Simba stretched one paw towards Hong Heonmin.

He was suddenly nervous at the sudden movement, but Hong Heonmin waited quietly. And he slowly took in the sight of that paw weakly resting on his knee.

“…Really, there’s not much time left.”

He didn’t even eat the food. Survival is extremely important to animals. It’s not a disease. It’s just that his body has reached its limit.

He can’t force him to live on. As someone who can’t know the animal’s intentions, he doesn’t know whether that will be painful or happy for Simba.

“Really, doing this job is so hard at times like this.”

Hong Heonmin finally reached out and stroked Simba’s neck.

This is the first time he’s had such close contact. Simba weakly scratched Hong Heonmin’s knee with his claws. He stuck out his tongue and licked Hong Heonmin’s hand once. Hong Heonmin laughed at the ticklish sensation.

“How cute…”

But unlike his smiling face, his voice was trembling without him knowing. Not because of fear, but because of sadness.

Ji Donghua, considerate of him, pretended not to notice the tears and replied calmly.

“I know.”

“So, so cute. If I submit a report, no one will believe it.”

That wall is a device for safety. It is also evidence that the beast called a tiger cannot mix into human society.

If you blurt out nonsense that you have become friends with a tiger beyond this wall, most people will say, ‘He must have abused it’ or ‘It must be a misunderstanding.’

“You were a divine creature, our Simba.”

Ji Donghua laughed at his joke.

“There’s usually a reason why something is not allowed… It’s so strange.”

It’s frustrating. He knew it, but he didn’t even try because he was afraid of uncertainty.

“Still, you shouldn’t approach such dangerous creatures next time.”

He laughed again.

Ji Donghua watched Simba slowly fall asleep and stopped trying to answer.

Hong Heonmin also made a short humming sound.

It’s quiet. So quiet that nothing can be heard.

This place is supposed to be noisy in the morning, but it was too different from usual.

After slowly inhaling, Hong Heonmin tried to exhale quietly.

The end was approaching.

The time for Simba’s breathing to stop was approaching.

“…Sleep well and let’s meet again.”

When Ji Donghua muttered quietly, Hong Heonmin didn’t even realize the true meaning of those words, but he couldn’t hold back the tears that burst out.

“…I know, you have to wake up again, Simba.”

On a quiet morning, the wind blew from the forest outside the window.

The warm sunlight began to shine on this place as the changing angle.

As that angle became steeper, Simba stopped breathing.

Was his life here happy? Hong Heonmin was not sure about that.

Uncertainty always abounds when it comes to animals.

So he hoped that he would be happy.

Just as he was happy living with Simba, he hoped that this child would be too.