Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 89

89.

The showcase venue is a whirlwind of madness and excitement, erupting in a deafening roar.

Following the music video release, the stage is set for the title track, ‘The First Last.’

While ‘Cloudy Blue’ was characterized by dreamy and gentle dance moves, this performance features strong, sharp choreography.

From a viewer’s perspective, the choreography might be visually captivating, but honestly, performing it feels like draining every last bit of energy from my body.

In other words, it feels like dying.

After the second chorus comes the dance break in the bridge, a section created specifically for Chae Ha-min.

With Chae Ha-min at the center, we stand motionless with our heads bowed. Meanwhile, Chae Ha-min exudes a sense of liberation, tapping her chest with her right hand in a snake-like motion. Then, with a pistol gesture, we fall backward as if collapsing.

A brief solo dance, lasting about 4 seconds, requires us to wriggle like earthworms while lying down. The dance teacher used the term ‘snake’ instead of ‘earthworm,’ but the sight of humans wriggling on the floor is undeniably earthworm-like, no matter how you look at it.

…Ha, I’m grateful for even this brief rest. Chae Ha-min will be fine; she’s a stamina-filled rabbit.

While I’m achieving a butterfly dream [a philosophical concept about the blurred lines between reality and dreams] with the earthworm for a moment, I make a resolution: I will never compose an intense song again.

* * *

The showcase concludes, and we return to the dorm, where the excitement of the second album activities still buzzes in the air.

“Wow… it’s amazing that this is charting, Dong-hwa.”

Chae Ha-min mumbles, gazing at her phone with a snake-patterned mask pack on her face.

Surprisingly, despite not generating as much buzz as the previous release, it’s hovering near the top of the music charts. It’s both surprising and strange. When the first album’s music charted, I was stunned, disoriented, and didn’t fully grasp the meaning, but not anymore.

The fact that people are listening to the song we all worked so hard to create evokes a peculiar emotion.

The fact that public opinion is being expressed in real-time scores, even with that bizarre mask pack on her face, is a very strange feeling. I don’t think I felt this way when I was writing a novel.

“Dong-hwa, Luminous [the name of their fandom] wants to swim in your collarbone! I guess it’s because today’s showcase outfit is a V-neck.”

…What, what is that supposed to mean?

The culture of fans’ ‘excessive flattery’ is difficult to accept. Reading malicious comments is less emotionally disturbing.

It’s not that I hate it, but it’s embarrassing.

Chae Ha-min, oblivious to my agitation, continues to scroll through her phone, sharing updates from the outside world. Lying face down on the bed and wiggling her feet, she seems carefree.

“A lot of people are saying this song is better than ‘Cloudy Blue.’”

“Certainly… the momentary intoxication was at a level that was personally difficult to compare……”

“Dong-hwa, I told you to speak in a way that people can understand!”

For me, composing is like taking a puzzle piece given by inspiration and fitting the rest of the pieces to it.

In other words, the work is simply a process of connecting a moment of inspiration through labor. A single puzzle piece that cannot be created with effort; the song owes its color to that one piece.

I always do my best, but the same level of intense inspiration doesn’t always come. Therefore, the reason why this song, whose name is annoying to recall, is better than ‘Cloudy Blue’ is because of that one snake.

…After a lengthy explanation, Chae Ha-min nods.

“I hope people recognize your skills a lot after listening to this song, right?”

Unfortunately, I’m not interested in that. I’m happy if I like the song, and if I find something lacking, I can fix it. My level isn’t high enough to make comparisons, but I have a similar mindset to a craftsman who doesn’t care what anyone says as long as he likes the work.

“Hyun-jae told me that strange people keep saying harsh things. Are you okay?”

She heard about the malicious comments, but she didn’t hear that I read and analyzed them.

“It’s just nonsense from others anyway.”

It’s not worth paying attention to. This isn’t arrogance but trust in myself. I have never presented a song that is so bad that I would be criticized under the name of Blossence.

* * *

[ㅅㅂ Ji Dong-hwa tore up the idol scene]

The most high-level self-composed song among recent idols, let’s admit it now

I’m a fan of another idol, but now my conscience hurts so I can’t curse

I’m a current composition major, so I honestly thought the existing songs weren’t bad… but I criticized them with blurry eyes…

The moment I heard this song, I was convinced… the song was too good to be jealous of…

Comments

―Yeah, the company wrote it

└If they wrote a song like this and only wrote Ji Dong-hwa’s three letters in the composer column, the composer would have exposed it himself

└Ji Dong-hwa is a psychopath, so he might be holding on to his lifeline~

└No ㅅㅂㅋㅌㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅌㅌㅋㅋ The most ridiculous thing I’ve heard recently ㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋㅌㅋㅋㅋㅋ Is it real to make him a criminal without hesitation? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└Honestly, Roomnuts [fans of Room Service, another band] all know… Ji Dong-hwa is too warm to be a psychopath…

└Nietzsche… that Nietzsche with a narrow pool of composers… has a composer who would dedicate a song like this anonymously to promote a rookie idol…? ㅅㅂ Does that make sense…

―Ah ㅅㅂ Don’t pretend to be not a fan, it smells so bad, the song is bad, what kind of overestimation is this, you peanut bitches

└ Yeah~ I guess your precious baby can’t compose, huh~

└ Excuse me, but could you please shut up? Your inferiority complex is shining so brightly it’s keeping me awake.

└ Honestly, the song isn’t bad… it’s just suspicious whether he wrote it himself. Only the Corpse Flower fans are squinting and doting on their babies. From Junseong’s songs to the current one, they’re not songs a rookie could write, lol.

The online debate went like this. In reality, it was just a repetition of rude speculations from some people and sanctions from the fans. Bizarre nicknames for Blossence and Luminous [Room Service’s fans], ‘Corpse Flower’ and ‘Peanut,’ were created in the process.

Since they couldn’t criticize the composing skills, they questioned its origin. Ji Dong-hwa thought the way they acted was vulgar, and such things were happening in the community.

However, Luminous wasn’t suffering that much…

[ㅅㅂ Did you guys see the kids this time ㅅㅂ Seriously]

A snake concept? Honestly, I was worried and thought they could still milk the refreshing concept more.

But… damn, if time machines were ever invented, I’d go back and smack my past self right in the head…

Isn’t this like a precious young master… all dressed up and ready to go to a ball? I’m seriously ㅅㅂ… from the concept to the song…

Especially when Chae Ha-min’s solo dance part comes on, I’m seriously… clutching my heart… and feel like I could tear the whole world apart…

Comments

―(Chae Ha-min solo dance GIF) Ah, the reason for my life, the moment my life has been worth living.

―Ryu Iden, you’re a criminal. You’ve ruined my life lately because of you. Take responsibility.

―Juna… I… I’m satisfied just seeing you in a suit… I can die happy now…

―Hyunjae. Writing lyrics. Writing the title. I’m. So. Touched. With those small hands. Wiggling. Wiggling.

└But the lyrics are about an obsessive guy? Obsessive younger man… I love it so much…

―So the fact that Dong-hwa composed this song is so hot, and the fact that he wrote it after seeing the snake Chae Ha-min brought is even better.

A great comeback, an empty house [meaning no competitors], the year-end awards soon, a strong contender for the Rookie Award, etc., they were already riding high. Unless my singer was just a handful, they were growing steadily, so I could forget about it for a while and live my life.

* * *

The HBS music program in the early hours of Saturday, ‘I’m Happy I Still Want to Listen to the Song I Heard Around Last Fall This Summer,’ or ‘Composing Trip’ for short.

PD [Production Director] Lee Young-hwa collected several articles about Blossence and watched Ji Dong-hwa’s ‘Monthly Ji Dong-hwa’ before finally declaring.

“Let’s call Blossence. I don’t know if they’ll come even if we call them.”

The assistant director interprets the meaning of those words and applauds.

“Oh… finally, an idol appearance after a long time. The fans will be happy.”

The assistant director checks the schedule. The format of ‘Composing Trip’ has two options: 1) filming the process of the cast composing and their performance in a documentary format with an emotional atmosphere, and 2) collaborating with other cast members.

The assistant director considers the characteristics of idol and indie culture and replies.

“We’re going with option 1, right?”

PD Lee Young-hwa smirks and says.

“Option 2.”

“…Pardon?”

“Let’s go with option 2.”

The assistant director couldn’t hide his embarrassment.

“…You know the indie scene the best, why would you do that.”

These days, it seems like there are more people who respect idol culture, but working together is a different story. Those who live on pride and self-esteem for their music might not want to work with idols.

“Don’t you remember that kid?”

“Who?”

“You know, that rookie who terrorized us with his work via email like a crazy person.”

The assistant director starts to get flustered again.

“…You mean that Nesquik guy?”

“Yeah, his stage name is crazy too. Who would name themselves after chocolate powder, I thought at first.”

In fact, the assistant director thought that PD Lee Young-hwa, who was smiling as he said that, was the crazy one, but it wasn’t a big deal.

“You said you didn’t want to use rookies recklessly, right?”

“Blossence, they’re rookies too, so they’ll get along better.”

The assistant director scratches his head and recalls his memories of Nesquik.

“His work… wasn’t bad, I think. If I remember correctly… no album releases. He only did mixtapes and makes hip-hop music. Um… is this okay? There are often more cases of hip-hop artists dissing idols more harshly than indie artists.”

“Young-woo, trust me. I think something interesting will come out of this? I’ve been the PD of ‘Composing Trip’ for six years now, you know?”

The assistant director nods for now. Anyway, as an assistant director, the fact that PD Lee Young-hwa has consistently maintained viewership ratings with terribly boring indie singers is enough to prove that he is a competent senior.

“Then I’ll put in a casting inquiry for now. You’ll be working on the specific details with the writers, right?”

“Yeah, ah, I’m looking forward to it. I really like crazy people.”

The assistant director turned around and walked away, thinking about whether the PD was the craziest one.