Black Label [EN]: Chapter 187

187. For You (4)

Tearing open the envelope with hurried hands, Jae-seung murmured with a sorrowful smile, “That sly old man…”

The sadness that had been gradually fading with time surged back with alarming speed at the mere mention of ‘Karl Lagerfeld.’

Aislinn, who had been silently watching Jae-seung while leaning against the study door, gently brushed her hair behind her ear and cautiously asked,

“Lee, is that perhaps Karl’s will?”

Perhaps because the word ‘will’ felt so weighty, Jae-seung hesitated for a moment before answering.

After letting out a long “Hoo…” Jae-seung replied softly with a slightly trembling voice.

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Should I give you some space?”

“Would you?”

“Take your time.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Aislinn gave a faint smile, kissed Jae-seung on the forehead, and quietly left the study.

After the study door was completely closed, Jae-seung began to examine the contents of the envelope again with trembling hands.

“Hmm?”

Upon examining the inside of the envelope, he found only a few sheets of plain white stationery, the kind you could find at any stationery store.

It wasn’t that he had expected something grand, but… the envelope and stationery felt too ordinary to contain a will.

As he stared at the envelope and stationery in his hand for a while, he couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

He suddenly thought it was a very Karl Lagerfeld-like choice.

He had tried to maintain a detached demeanor even in the face of death.

That’s why even in these trivial details, he must have put so much thought into it.

With a bitter smile, Jae-seung carefully unfolded the stationery in his hand.

Sarak-

To. My dear Lee.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I spent quite a long time agonizing over ‘How should I start this letter?’ In fact, I’ve written and crumpled up quite a few letters with just the greetings.

For example, from “Long time no see” to “How have you been?” to “How’s the world doing without me?” and so on…….

The longer I pondered, the more I couldn’t come to a conclusion, which was truly maddening. How should I put it? Ah, yes. It felt like a teenage high school student head over heels in love.

So, I decided.

Although I couldn’t come up with a cool and impressive greeting, I decided to start writing a letter with sincerity. I thought I might end up dying at my desk otherwise.

So, what I want to say to you is…….

Thank you.

The fact that you’re reading this letter means that you’ve kept all the promises you made to me. I’ve told my lawyer firmly.

If anyone tries to steal the copyrights to my last designs, or disgrace my name with ridiculous behavior or terrible collections, or if ‘Chanel,’ the brand that contains everything about me, becomes the main course at critics’ banquets, then instead of this letter, they should deliver a letter filled with curses and insults.

Jae-seung chuckled. Reading the handwritten letter from Karl Lagerfeld gave him the illusion that he could hear his voice in his ear.

As the laughter faded, Jae-seung turned the first page of the letter and began to read the next page.

Sarak-

* * *

Looking back, quite a bit of time has passed. The time I’ve lived as a cog in the fashion world.

When did it start? Ah, yes. Roughly from the time I was able to freely buy alcohol in the market, I started living and breathing as a cog in the fashion world.

Looking back, it’s quite a shitty thing. If I could get into a time machine and meet the young Karl Lagerfeld, I would want to ask, “What was the rush?”

Perhaps the reason I was concerned about you is similar. I was forced to learn all the laws of the jungle at too young an age.

But you entered this fashion world at an even younger age than the young Karl Lagerfeld.

No matter how much the world praises you, and no matter how great a designer you are…….

I know that you’re just a greenhorn who got the right to buy alcohol with your ID card from the market only a few years ago.

Of course, you’re much better than those other fools who throw themselves into it with nothing but graduation certificates from fashion schools that are considered prestigious.

Of course, I’m not worried about your future. As I’ve seen from the sidelines, you have enough talent and sense to survive here.

If you quickly fade away and collapse, you can spit on my tombstone and rub it with your shoes. But, keep in mind that if you actually do such a thing, you won’t escape divine punishment.

Sarak-

From my days as a fledgling who had to cut back on sleep to create a cool signature, I have been working tirelessly on the tasks in front of me. Many people have asked me the secret to my success. Especially those obvious magazine reporters. You already know half of it, but it’s actually so common that it’s embarrassing to say.

I’ve tried to live as if I deserve everything.

Expensive supercars that some people can’t afford to even experience the feel of the seats in their entire lives, yachts that can take models who caught my eye in the season to cruise the Mediterranean together, luxurious villas where I can take a perfect rest in the off-season, etc…….

I’ve tried to live in such a way that no matter what I enjoy, the public can say, “Yes, Karl certainly deserves to enjoy it.”

As I lived like that, many things gradually began to change. Things I had only imagined began to come to me under the name of ‘reality,’ and before I knew it, the nameless director who had signed a one-year short-term contract was reborn as Chanel’s signature director.

The life you see is the result.

In the process of changing my life, I occasionally felt like I had become a god. I probably would have scrapped a cheap Mustang GT right away. Then I would have started expanding the garage, and after expanding the garage, I would have bought cars to fill the space. I bought a yacht every summer vacation and started building villas in memorable resorts. It was a time of youthful exuberance when I was convinced that nothing was impossible in Karl Lagerfeld’s dictionary.

If I felt like it, I could easily sleep with world-class models, and it became easy to be on the main cover of world-renowned newspapers or magazines.

But…….

At some point, my life, which everyone envied, didn’t feel satisfying. It was really in the blink of an eye. In a fleeting moment, my life satisfaction plummeted. It was because of a common question that everyone has probably had at least once.

Am I really happy?

No. I wasn’t happy. The ‘tightrope walking with my career on the line’ that was forced on me twice or three times every year was really painful. When I felt weak, I forced myself to draw diagrams because I didn’t want to lose anything I had built up so far.

Looking back now, I don’t think I should have done that. Yes, I shouldn’t have. Immersing myself in work and forgetting was not a fundamental solution, but just a way of avoiding it.

I should have boldly faced the unknown fears that knocked on the studio window late at night. Even if it was difficult, I should have observed those fears in detail and sought a proper solution.

When I realized that death was flickering before my eyes, I had no choice but to fall into deep despair and misery that I couldn’t even put into words.

Death is truly surprisingly fair.

The wealth and fame I had built up so far became no different from mere junk in an instant. A world-renowned designer who will be forever recorded in fashion history? Tell them to eat shit. I’m in a situation where I can’t even have a proper funeral because the group is worried about losses.

Isn’t that right?

I’m no different from ordinary old people. I’m no different from ordinary old people who are waiting for the god of death to knock on the hospital door, pretending to be detached. Only after realizing that did I start to regret it. I regret not living more for myself.

Lee. This is advice from your friend, not as a designer.

Please don’t let the monster of work devour you. There are things more important than not disappointing the public and not leaving a scratch on your glamorous career.

That is your happiness.

I hope you never repeat the mistakes I made. Even if you subtract ‘design’ from your life, I hope there will be much left.

* * *

Jae-seung turned the page and took out the last page.

Sarak-

Anyway, Lee. I sincerely thank you. Thanks to you, I was able to break out of the misery and despair and prepare for a detached death.

I’ve prepared a few gifts, so contact my lawyer and go through the inheritance process. I’ve decided to leave my ‘birthplace’ in the countryside where I was born and raised, all of the Chanel stock I own, and a yacht to you.

Of course, if you only consider the material value, they’re not that great. They’re quite expensive, but if you solidify your position a little more, you’ll be able to easily obtain them with just the rewards.

But…….

Those are all that can explain my life. The birthplace in the countryside where I was born and raised is a symbolic place that contains the childhood I spent dreaming of becoming a designer, and Chanel is a place where all the times after my childhood are melted, as I told you someday.

What about the random yacht? Hehe. I included it with the thought that I wanted you to enjoy the emerald sea of the Mediterranean with Aislinn this summer vacation. It’s a perfect place to propose. I had decided that if I ever had a lover, I would propose there.

Finally, to add…….

You will wear a heavier ‘crown’ in just a few years. The weight is quite heavy, but everyone will covet it, and it will be so gorgeous that you will be satisfied.

Unlike me, I hope you will deal with life wisely.

Ah! And until a suitable person appears to take over after me, I hope you will take charge of the Chanel kingdom. I know it’s a difficult request, but I don’t want to go through the trouble of digging up my grave and coming back to life. If I see some idiot in charge of Chanel, I feel like I’ll run out of the grave right away.

Anyway, thank you.

Really.

-Karl Lagerfeld, who will support you even beyond the river of death.

-P.S. It may be difficult to recognize because of my natural bad handwriting, but please understand.

Sarak-

Jae-seung, who had finished reading the letter, lowered his head and began to heave his shoulders.

Was it because of the contents of the letter?

The answer would be half yes and half no.

Jae-seung took out his cell phone and called the number on the business card that was delivered with it. How many times did the signal ring?

As soon as he heard the voice saying “Hello?” from the receiver, Jae-seung abruptly asked.

“Is that Karl’s handwritten letter?”

-Ah, yes.

After a moment of silence, Karl’s lawyer sighed and added some explanations.

-He must have rewritten it dozens, hundreds of times. As Lee knows, Karl’s eyes were already failing when he started preparing for death.

“I really couldn’t recognize it. That damn old man. He should have asked someone to write it for him…….”

Jae-seung trailed off and suddenly sat down on the floor and began to sob.

Natural bad handwriting? What a joke. How many times have I admired your elegantly scribbled handwriting?

Damn it, damn it.

It seemed like he couldn’t control his emotions. Imagining Karl Lagerfeld rewriting the letter to him dozens, hundreds of times while barely being able to see, his heart kept pounding and his eyes seemed to turn red.

Let’s just try to hold on until the show is over. No, let’s just try to hold on until a plausible plan is completed.

Just like I’ve been doing near the top of the fashion world, really somehow. Somehow, let’s hold on.

If I had, I could have said a few sweet words.

I will definitely make you a legend, and Chanel’s show is receiving record sales and amazing praise.

So, just trust me and rest. Just trust me, just trust me…….

When did it start? It seems like it was from my childhood when my beloved dog left my side.

From that time on, I have thought that people become stronger and tougher in the pain of loss.

Everyone learns a lot every time they lose something precious, and they don’t forget what they have learned, and they take another step forward.

But, if it’s a learning that requires enduring so much pain, I wish it didn’t exist.

Even if I become a slightly immature person, I don’t want to lose anything precious anymore.

Really.