Brother, Am I Cute? [EN]: Chapter 401

Hyung, aren’t I cute? 401

Early May.

We decided to go on a trip to France.

The production company would cover the plane and accommodation costs.

It was a vacation for the actors and staff to enjoy, and also to prepare for the Cannes Film Festival.

Actors with schedules would arrive before the Cannes Film Festival.

“Siha, it’s been a while since we’ve been on a plane, right?”

“Siha likes flying. It’s fun.”

“We have a window seat. Are you going to look at the sky again, Siha?”

“Siha wants to see the sky!”

He must have really liked seeing the clouds floating in the blue sky last time.

I like that too. It’s not an everyday sight.

It wasn’t a scenery that got boring after seeing it once.

“Uncle, you know what?”

“Huh?”

Uncle yawned, picking at his ear.

We were waiting to board the plane.

People started moving in a line.

“What?”

“You have to take off your shoes on the plane.”

“Oh, really?”

“They say you can’t wear shoes.”

It was the same thing Baek Dong-hwan had lied about before.

But Siha, Uncle has been on planes a lot, so he won’t fall for that.

Uncle chuckled, saying he knew everything.

“Oh? Really? Then Siha will take off his shoes when he gets on first, right?”

“Huh? No. Uncle goes first.”

“No, Siha should go first. How can Uncle go first?”

They started a battle of wits, trying not to go first.

They might look good, being so considerate, but the one who goes in first would have to take off their shoes.

It’s amazing that you can see this kind of fierce negotiation even while walking.

“Uncle goes first. It’s okay.”

“No, Siha should show me how, and then Uncle will follow.”

“No way.”

“Why? Is it because you don’t really have to take off your shoes?”

“!!!”

“Hehe. Does Uncle look like a foreigner who’s never been on a plane before?”

“Uncle knew all along?”

“Of course, I know everything.”

“!!!”

Siha seemed to realize that Uncle wasn’t fooled and started to think hard.

He really wanted to trick Uncle somehow.

“Uncle, you can’t open your mouth when the plane takes off.”

“Why?”

“A fly will go in your mouth.”

“That might be possible, actually.”

That’s a plausible scenario.

He chose a good option. Siha’s attack was successful. Although, I don’t know if you can call it an attack.

But the story didn’t end there.

“Then, do you know what?”

“What?”

“Even if you fart a lot on the plane, the people in the aisle seats next to you can’t smell it.”

“Huh?”

We were checking our tickets and entering the plane.

“Liar!”

“Really! See that aisle you can walk down?”

“Yeah.”

“The air circulates like this. No, it moves in a circle and all goes out this way.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, really. So, the person next to you might smell your farts, but no one else can smell them even if Siha farts a lot.”

“!!!”

I’ve never smelled farts on a plane, so I don’t know if it’s true.

But if it’s a really bad fart, wouldn’t everyone in that radius smell it at least once?

“Try farting a lot later. Then you’ll know if Uncle is lying.”

“!!!”

Siha looked at Uncle with an expression that said, ‘Is that true or not?’

Then he looked at my face.

“Hyung, is it true?”

“No one can smell Siha’s farts.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah. Because Siha’s farts don’t smell. So, even the people next to you can’t smell them.”

“Really?!”

Uncle was saying next to me, ‘That can’t be true. Your farts smell.’

But do we have to keep talking about farts?

Our Siha’s farts don’t smell!

Like an idol’s taboo, he doesn’t even go to the bathroom!

Anyway, yeah!

“Then, Uncle, Siha will fart on you later. Check if it smells. Okay?”

“Why would I do that?”

“You need to know if Uncle lied.”

“Huh?”

Oh, it looks like Uncle accidentally cornered himself trying to tease Siha.

He’s going to have to smell Siha’s farts.

Uncle coughed.

“Ah. I think Uncle has a cold. My nose is blocked. I can’t smell anything.”

“Uncle, then Siha will put his butt close to you.”

“On my face?”

“Yeah.”

“You little devil.”

I didn’t know if he meant the fart was terrible or if his persistence was terrible.

Anyway, Siha won this time.

Who told him to tease him with farts?

***

When we arrived in France, we headed to the hotel. After unpacking, I went to Director Go and heard that we were free to do whatever we wanted.

I asked if everyone was going sightseeing or something, but they said they would just relax at the hotel today.

Some people said they would take a look around the neighborhood.

“Uncle, what are we going to do?”

“I think we should rest for a bit and then have dinner.”

“What time is it now?”

“5 PM in France.”

“It’s 12 AM in Korea. It’s night.”

“It’s actually bedtime.”

I looked at Siha.

He had been on the plane for a long time and had slept, so his eyes were wide open.

I was the same.

I don’t know if we’ll be able to adjust well, but I think it’s best to rest today.

“I wonder what kind of delicious food there is.”

“Do you want to eat a hamburger?”

“Huh? A hamburger?”

Siha’s eyes sparkled.

It looks like he wants to eat a hamburger.

“Hamburger?”

“Yeah. It’ll be a French hamburger. I wonder if it’ll be any different.”

“French hamburger?!”

“Yeah. But don’t get your hopes up too high.”

It’ll probably just taste like a delicious hamburger.

Uncle next to me insisted that if we were in France, we should definitely go to a hamburger place called [Steak ‘n Shake].

We roughly got ready and looked for a hamburger place nearby.

Come to think of it, isn’t this brand famous in America?

“Isn’t this a French hamburger place?”

“What are you talking about? When did I say we were going to a French hamburger place?”

“???”

He definitely said that if we were in France, we should definitely come here, but he didn’t say it was a French hamburger place.

But something feels a bit off.

It’s like that feeling.

It’s like traveling from Seoul to Busan and seeing a Lotteria [a popular fast-food chain in South Korea]. It feels like we’re just going there because it’s convenient.

Especially since Uncle is American, wouldn’t he feel that way even more?

“Uncle, are you okay with this? We came all the way to France.”

“This place is supposed to be good. French people come here often.”

“Well, yeah. If a hamburger place isn’t frequented, they’d have to close down.”

“This place is fine.”

Siha tugged on my pants.

“Hyung. French hamburger!”

“Okay.”

I couldn’t bring myself to tell Siha, ‘This is actually a famous hamburger chain from America. It probably has nothing to do with France.’

How should I put it? Would he understand if I said it was like going to McDonald’s overseas?

With a complicated heart, I stood in line to order a hamburger.

It must be a popular place. We even have to stand in line.

“Hyung, they don’t have a ‘ttik-ttik’ here?”

“No, they don’t.”

Siha is probably talking about a kiosk [self-ordering machine].

But they do have buzzers.

I saw everyone ordering and taking a buzzer.

It’s almost our turn.

I guess I’ll just decide.

“Give me one of these as a set. And a shake, please. Do you have any recommended menus?”

“Wow. Your pronunciation is so good.”

“I’m a translator.”

“Ah. The recommended menus are these. These two are the most popular these days.”

“Then give me one of each.”

“What kind of shake would you like?”

“Give me a milkshake, one strawberry and one vanilla.”

I was actually looking forward to the shake more than the hamburger.

The buzzer rang and I picked up the hamburgers.

There seem to be a lot of foreign tourists around, but they wouldn’t mess with the food, would they?

I just followed Uncle and didn’t check if it was a racist restaurant.

I’ll have to do that next time.

“I’ll try it first.”

The taste was satisfying enough.

They didn’t make the food too salty or anything.

Maybe it’s because Uncle, who ordered with me, is a foreigner and Siha is a child.

Or maybe this restaurant doesn’t discriminate.

The staff member was friendly when taking our order, so that wouldn’t happen, would it? And it’s a chain restaurant.

Anyway, I can eat with peace of mind.

“It’s delicious. Siha, let’s eat this.”

“Siha wants to eat~!”

Siha took a big bite and ate it deliciously.

I felt good seeing him eat the fries deliciously too.

“This is a strawberry shake.”

“Siha wants to eat strawberry!”

I feel good seeing him eat so well.

Well, it’s not bad to see Siha’s French daily life of eating hamburgers.

Siha stomped his feet and took another bite.

Munch, munch.

“Delicious. Hyung, you eat too.”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Uncle, why have you already eaten so much?”

Uncle’s hamburger in his hand had already half disappeared.

Please eat a little slower.

I don’t know how he’s faster than Koreans.

“Are you tasting it as you eat? Or are you just swallowing it?”

“Ah. It’s delicious. It’s so delicious that there’s only this much left.”

Uncle also sucked on the shake.

He’s not drinking water. Half of the shake is gone?

“Uncle, are you thinking of becoming a mukbang YouTuber [a live online audiovisual broadcast in which a host eats large quantities of food while interacting with their audience]?”

“I can’t. I have a job where I can’t show my face.”

“That’s true.”

I was just joking, but I lost my words when I got a serious answer.

Siha looked worried at Uncle’s reaction.

“What should I do?”

“Huh? Why, Siha?”

“Hyung. Uncle’s face is being sold. Should I cut off his face and sell it? I’ll give you a discount? You can’t sell it.”

“No. That’s not what ‘selling’ means.”

It’s funny that he misunderstood, but he’s offering a discount.

No, why are you saying you’ll give me a discount when you can’t sell it?

“‘Selling your face’ means that many other people know your face. Like an idol. People know idols well even if they haven’t seen them in person.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. That’s what ‘selling your face’ means. It would be a disaster if you actually cut off your face and sold it.”

“That’s a relief. If Uncle didn’t have a face, he would have become a ghost with an egg face [a Korean ghost that has a smooth, egg-shaped head with no facial features].”

Did you think that the egg ghost became that way because his face was sold a lot?

If you interpret it literally, it’s not wrong.

Still, he’s improved a lot.

He’s not saying, ‘What if the egg ghost boils his face because his face is made of eggs?’

Uncle looked at Siha with a dumbfounded face.

He doesn’t even have a hamburger in his hand anymore.

“You don’t even know what ‘selling your face’ means. Siha doesn’t know anything.”

“No. Siha knows everything. Uncle ate all the hamburger.”

“Everyone else knows that too, not just you.”

“But Uncle isn’t full. Siha knows everything.”

“Oh. That’s something other people wouldn’t know.”

“Uncle has to diet, so he can’t order more.”

“Uncle doesn’t have any fat. I have abs here.”

“Uncle. You’re always on a diet.”

“Huh? That’s not wrong. How do you know?”

“Hana said so.”

He learned the knowledge of dieting from Hana.

Probably from Hana’s mother.

I wondered who he had heard the diet story from before, but it was Hana.

He goes to daycare and brings knowledge that I didn’t teach him.

That’s a little amazing.

Maybe if I had taken care of him alone, he wouldn’t have known so many different things.

“What kind of kid is talking about dieting?”

“Hana wants to be an idol. That’s why she’s dieting.”

“When you’re young, it’s best to eat well without worrying about dieting. Here. Eat a lot of your favorite fries.”

Uncle picked up the fries and put them in Siha’s mouth.

Siha just accepts them.

I liked seeing that.

“Hyung. You too!”

“Hey! If I fed you, shouldn’t you give me one of the fries first?”

“No. Hyung has to eat first.”

“You’re always discriminating.”

“No. Uncle is next to Hyung. Should Siha give you the buzzer? You have to wait.”

“I’m speechless.”

Siha still takes care of me first, but.

“Uncle. I’ll give it to you.”

I picked up the fries and held them out to Uncle.

Uncle slightly opened his mouth, but I quickly pulled them away so he couldn’t eat them.

And I put them in Siha’s mouth.

“This, this. Siha discriminated because he learned it from Hyung!”

“No. I learned it from Siha.”