Call Of The Spear [EN]: Chapter 547

Tales of a Wandering Swordsman – Part 2 Chapter 256

I legally turned twenty, left the orphanage, and moved out.

Three hundred thousand won in deposit, thirty thousand won monthly.

That’s the day I rented a small studio and started living with Yong.

Fsssh.

Click.

“Drink! Drink! Drink and die!”

To celebrate the move, I popped open a can of beer on the small veranda.

“Hey, what are you going to do now?”

The government benefits for taking care of orphans were now gone.

It was natural to be thrown into society as soon as you became a legal adult.

Fortunately, I had saved money from part-time jobs while attending high school and rented a small studio, so this was just the beginning.

Beginning.

But beginning, in other words, meant that nothing had been achieved yet.

It was also a word that corresponded to the number 0.

Maybe that’s why the sky seemed so dark and distant today.

The society unfolding before us was as dark as that sky, and it looked heavy, as if it would pour down and engulf us at any moment.

“I need to find a job.”

Even if we split it in half, the monthly rent was 150,000 won [approximately $120 USD]. And there would be a lot of other expenses, so I needed to find a job right away.

Because there was no one to rely on anymore.

“What about your girlfriend?”

“We broke up.”

“Why? I thought you were going to be a kept man. Was her family not that great?”

“How long ago was that… I just realized it as we dated.”

He remembers everything I said as a kid.

Even though he can’t remember what he ate yesterday.

Kim Yong uses his memory in useless places.

“What did you realize?”

“I wasn’t dating her because I liked her, but simply mistook curiosity about the opposite sex for excitement.”

“What the hell does that mean? Explain it simply.”

“Like, it wasn’t that she was special, but I just mistook what I could feel because she was a woman, an opposite sex, for love.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

No. It’s different.

“Because she’s not the only one who’s special. If another woman is next to me, I’ll feel the same thing with her. To put it simply, it was just a man’s instinct.”

“Oh, so how far did you go?”

“Get lost, you bastard.”

I was trying to be a little serious.

But he’s just joking around.

Well, I like it that way right now.

It’s too dry if you’re just serious.

“I don’t want to be mistaken.”

“What are you talking about? It’s good for each other if you just date, kiss, and sleep together.”

“It’s meaningless.”

How can you cherish a relationship that is only connected by physical relations?

It will eventually lead to a breakup.

It may be a relationship, but if the desire not to spend my time on it is great, then it is.

“You’re too rational. Don’t you ever give in to your instincts?”

“Well, the situations surrounding me can’t be solved by instinct.”

Twenty years old.

If it were others, they would be going to college with money from their parents, enjoying their exciting twenties.

But for us, who have no room to spare, college is a luxury.

We gave up early, and we would be satisfied if we could work in a factory and make a living.

“…Well, if we suddenly had a child, how would we raise it in our situation? I can’t even take care of myself.”

It’s a terrible thing.

We have nothing, and all we have is youthful energy. If youthful energy could solve everything in the world, this vague society would not have been created.

“I’m kind of like that too. Even if I meet a good person, I don’t have the courage to get married. People look at me with prejudiced eyes because I’m an orphan.”

“That’s right.”

Self-esteem.

We don’t even have anything to call self-esteem.

So we give up early.

Whatever it is.

Whatever is special.

Because we had nothing, because we couldn’t have anything, the first thing we learned was giving up.

How to give up.

Even if no one taught us, we learned it first.

So that we don’t get jealous because we don’t have it.

To lie to ourselves.

We give up on our own in advance.

Clink.

Feeling sorry for Yong, I bumped his beer can and smiled.

“So we have to succeed.”

“Yeah.”

Vague, hopeful words.

We easily give up on desire, but we don’t give up on life and bring up straw-like hope.

Even if it’s a contradictory action and word, we have to do it to live.

Because we’ve lived like this until now.

Knowing the contradiction, we say this.

“Kyah! It doesn’t taste good, but it goes down well.”

The first beer I drank at the age of twenty wasn’t very tasty.

But I think I knew why adults drank so much beer.

Beer is the only thing that can relieve the stuffiness in our throats, so we drink it like that.

I think I’m going to like beer, which is sad, cruel, but also a bit comforting.

* * *

Five years later.

Because I was an orphan with no parental history, I was exempt from military service.

Thanks to that, I was able to work at a factory and barely make a living.

But that was it.

“The delivery is due by the day after tomorrow, but what am I supposed to do if you do it like this! Should we all write resignation letters together!!”

The screaming voice is so loud that I can hear it clearly even though the surroundings are noisy because of cutting or welding steel plates.

Thanks to that, a silence flowed through the factory, which was noisy with various noises.

“What’s wrong with him?”

Yong came up next to me.

“He’s just yelling for no reason.”

To work faster.

To work overtime.

To meet the deadline.

In case the deadline is not met, the blame will fall on him.

“But wasn’t it going smoothly? If we just keep going like this, we’ll meet the deadline, so why is he yelling like that?”

“I told you. He’s just yelling once to make us nervous and work.”

In case someone gets hurt, it’s a big deal, and we won’t be able to meet the deadline.

“Team leader Kang is a son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, he’s a bastard.”

I wonder if he has to make people feel like shit to make them work.

“Hey, you two! What are you doing instead of working!?”

“We’re working~”

Yong and I cursed at Team leader Kang with our eyes and focused on our work again.

Quitting time.

Yong suggested that we take a light shower in the shower room and go for a beer, so I nodded and got in the car.

“Hey, are you reading that novel again?”

“Yeah. It just came out. I’ll just read this.”

“Is it good?”

“So-so.”

Is it because I don’t like reality?

Or is it because the future is not bright even if I work like this and make a living?

I came to have a hobby of reading novels.

“I get sleepy when I watch that kind of thing. I can’t get into it.”

“Some people are like that. I’m just curious, so I read it.”

“Curious?”

“Yeah.”

The world and the protagonist who lives in it are far from reality.

“I like it because it’s so unrealistic.”

I like the worlds that don’t make sense and the protagonists who live in them.

So I’m curious.

Because dramatic situations can’t appear in the situation and world I’m in.

Because I can’t draw a brilliant future.

I liked that an unrealistic world and an unrealistic protagonist would have an unrealistic result.

Because if only unrealistic things are gathered like that, it felt like reality.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about… Where’s your sister-in-law? Let’s call her and eat together!”

“What sister-in-law.”

“If she’s your girlfriend, she’s your sister-in-law. She lives nearby anyway. Call her, call her!”

“It’s okay. I contacted her earlier, and she said she’s busy working overtime today.”

I have a girlfriend who I met about two years ago.

“And we’re going to break up soon.”

“What? Why!!”

“It’s about time we broke up.”

“Is it because of that thing about reason or instinct or whatever again?”

“No. It’s not like that.”

“Then why are you breaking up?”

“I don’t want to get married anyway, so it’s a terrible thing to keep dating her. It’s about time we broke up.”

“…Hey, even so.”

“What’s good about marrying a guy like me? And… her parents wouldn’t want to marry their daughter to an orphan.”

Then Yong’s nostrils, who was holding the steering wheel, flared.

He’s closing his mouth tightly, but it seemed like anger was boiling inside.

“The world is so fucked up.”

“Hehehehe, it is.”

For the sole reason of being an orphan.

I, and we, still give up so easily like this.

And probably in the future, I will give up most things like this.

Even if my age passes thirty, it won’t be that much different.

The driving force that has allowed me to live until now is ironically because of my current tendency to give up easily.

“Beom-ah.”

“Why.”

“I think giving up is also courage.”

“What’s with you all of a sudden? Is it a time for famous sayings?”

“I’m telling you not to make yourself too pathetic by giving up. Giving up is not easy either. You have to have courage. There are various reasons, but you’re still trying to give up for the sake of your sister-in-law’s future. That’s courage.”

Giving up is also courage.

Kim Yong’s words pierced my heart for a moment, but soon turned into warmth and pulled up the corners of my mouth.

“So, I’m saying.”

“What.”

“If you’re going to break up with your sister-in-law anyway, are you going to the club with me later?”

“You crazy bastard.”

What little smile I can have in my miserable life.

It’s probably because I have friends and novels.

“Stop talking nonsense and let’s eat pork belly and soju [Korean distilled spirit]. What club is so noisy.”

“Okay- Then I’ll try hunting while eating pork belly and soju.”

“Stop talking crazy.”

While we were joking around for a while, Kim Yong stared at something intently and widened his eyes.

“Oh, isn’t that your sister-in-law?”

“Where.”

“There, that.”

Next to the crosswalk.

There was a woman walking down the street.

It was my girlfriend.

“Who’s next to her.”

It was a man I didn’t know.

“Hey, Kim Beom. Who is that bastard? It’s not a friend or a younger brother, is it?”

Kim Yong’s voice becomes fierce.

My heart was pounding too.

But it soon cooled down.

I had to cool it down forcibly.

“Ah, it’s my girlfriend’s younger brother. He said he came up to Seoul for a while and came out to feed his younger brother dinner.”

“Really? Then that’s a relief. Should we say hello for a moment?”

“It’s okay. Let’s just go. It’s awkward to be with family, and… we’re wearing work clothes, so it doesn’t look good.”

“That’s true.”

He seems to have understood somehow.

Only then did I feel a little relieved and passed by my girlfriend’s back with bitter eyes.

My girlfriend doesn’t have a younger brother.

She didn’t have any male friends she knew well.

I think it’s probably the deputy [section/team leader] from the same company that I mentioned a few times.

‘It doesn’t matter.’

Because I was going to break up anyway.

That man will treat her better than me.

He’s a deputy at a large company, and unlike me, his parents are alive and his family is well off.

I like my personality that gives up easily at times like this.

Because it gave me a chance to give up more easily.

“Hey, Yong-ah.”

“Why, Beom-ah.”

“Let’s go eat soju quickly.”

“Good.”

It doesn’t matter.

I never really had it.

I never tried to have it.

What’s the point of a guy like me.

I glanced at Yong, who was driving.

He seemed to be worried about something.

Did he notice something strange after seeing my girlfriend earlier?

At first, I clearly said that I was working overtime, so if I think about it, I’ll get caught.

“What are you thinking about.”

“I’m thinking about whether to drink soju or somaek [soju mixed with beer].”

It was an unnecessary worry.

“You can drink somaek and then drink soju.”

“Should I?”

“Idiot.”

“Kehehehehe!”

I laugh like an idiot when I curse.

I laugh when I see that moronic smile.

And I feel relieved.

‘It’s still a relief.’

Although I’m an orphan, and my life is pouring out a future without a ray of light while being hit by reality.

But it’s a relief because I have Yong.

Because I have a friend who is like family.

If I didn’t have this guy, my life would have been so boring.

But there was no way that my thoughts would come out of my mouth.

The signal changed on the four-lane road, and a truck hit our car as it moved forward.

Thanks to that, the car overturned at once, and the car behind crashed into it and rolled several times.

And when I woke up in the hospital.

My friend Kim Yong was no longer in this world.