Descent of The Demon Master [EN]: Chapter 449

“May I ask you something?”

“Yes, you’re welcome to.”

Kang Jin-ho cleared his throat softly and began to speak.

“I understand everything else, but I’m having trouble understanding why you say others get caught up because of me. I know it’s actually happening, but I don’t understand why…”

“Because you shine.”

Choi Yeon-ha interrupted Kang Jin-ho to answer.

“Shine?”

“Yes. To be precise… it’s more like you stand out rather than shine. You’re noticeable, Kang Jin-ho, no matter what you do. When I watch you, I get this feeling. ‘Ah, that person is walking the path of life they’ve set for themselves.'”

“The path of life?”

“Yes.”

Choi Yeon-ha nodded.

“Without wavering, without looking back, without regret… forward, forward, and forward again.”

“…”

“I’m not being sarcastic. It’s really like that. And then I start thinking, ‘Ah, I just need to follow that person,’ or ‘I can rely on that person.’ If not that, then I think, ‘I should also have a goal and live my life a little more diligently.'”

“Hmm.”

“I don’t know about others, but I’m the latter. I thought I had been living with a clear goal until now, but I wasn’t. If I had been living with a clear path in mind, I wouldn’t have been so shaken just because Kang Jin-ho entered my life.”

“…What?”

What did she mean by being shaken?

Sometimes, what this person said was hard to understand.

“Anyway, that’s why. I also want to try living a little more diligently. I don’t think I can feel like I’m on equal footing with you, Kang Jin-ho, unless I live quite diligently.”

“I’m not that great of a person.”

“Kang Jin-ho.”

“Yes.”

“You’re annoying.”

Kang Jin-ho’s eyes twitched. But Choi Yeon-ha looked at him as if he was being ridiculous.

“Humility is for those who should be humble. If the president says, ‘I’m not that famous,’ who would think that’s humility?”

“No, I’m really…”

Kang Jin-ho stopped talking.

‘Am I really not?’

Some concepts were clashing in his head.

In his own opinion, he couldn’t say he was a great person yet. In the past, he had controlled the world with his own hands. It was just that he wasn’t interested in others, forces, or the state of the world. If he had been a little more outgoing, the Central Plains [a historical term referring to the central region of China, often associated with power and civilization] would have been turned upside down.

Considering his past self, the current Kang Jin-ho was an ordinary person.

However, there was something that bothered him…

‘What about the Assembly?’

No matter how much he tried to deny it, as long as the Assembly was under his influence, he couldn’t even utter the word ‘ordinary.’ He hadn’t really been aware of it, but Kang Jin-ho was already meeting the criteria of a great person.

“Looks like you understand something.”

“Yes.”

Choi Yeon-ha smiled brightly.

“That’s why. I feel like I need to stand tall if I’m going to be next to you, Kang Jin-ho. That’s it. I shouldn’t become someone who shines because I’m next to you. You should shine because I’m next to you. I… want to be that kind of person.”

“Am I someone worth that?”

“Yes.”

A completely different smile appeared on Choi Yeon-ha’s face.

It was a little comfortable, a little warm.

It was the kind of smile he had seen when he was trapped under the tunnel in the past.

“In my eyes, you’re the most wonderful person in the world, Kang Jin-ho.”

* * *

Brummm.

Kang Jin-ho’s mind was a mess as he drove home.

‘I don’t get it.’

Objectively, he was indeed a great person. But Choi Yeon-ha was someone who didn’t know what achievements he had made or what position he held. She just thought he was a great person based on his usual demeanor.

Kang Jin-ho couldn’t understand that fact.

‘A goal…’

Choi Yeon-ha said that people were drawn to Kang Jin-ho’s way of running forward without looking back. But Kang Jin-ho felt a strong sense of incongruity with those words.

‘What goal do I have?’

In his own opinion, there was no word less fitting for him than the word ‘goal.’

In Kang Jin-ho’s first life, he had no goals. He was just living because he was breathing. What kind of goal would a person who had lost his entire family and become disabled have?

The goal in his second life was only one thing.

To survive.

He was able to find the preciousness of life that he hadn’t felt in his first life in his second life. But a life just for survival revealed its flaws in the end.

And what about himself now?

At first, his goal was to live an ordinary life.

But he had already strayed too far from that goal.

What was my goal now?

‘A person who reaches out.’

Kang Jin-ho quietly recalled the face of the head nun.

‘A person who holds hands.’

He thought that humans were truly fickle. There was a time when those words resonated with Kang Jin-ho’s soul.

But what about now?

He was just clinging to his own life, making excuses with various reasons and events.

The goal that Choi Yeon-ha spoke of did not exist for the current Kang Jin-ho.

The reason he seemed to be running forward was because of his strong drive.

To use an analogy, he was like a rally car that had fallen into the desert.

The engine was running non-stop, but the steering wheel was broken, so he didn’t know where he was going. It was just a fast car.

A meaningless, just fast car.

That’s why the word ‘goal’ that Choi Yeon-ha spoke of might have shaken Kang Jin-ho’s heart.

Park Yu-min had the goal of becoming the best professional gamer.

Joo Young-gi had a clear goal of turning Kang Jin-ho’s pizza place into a franchise and making a fortune.

Kang Eun-young had been doing her best since childhood to become the best idol, and even Choi Yeon-ha, who could be said to be the best, was going to China to pioneer a wider market instead of being satisfied with the small market of Korea.

‘Everyone has one.’

He hadn’t been aware of it until now, but looking back, everyone around Kang Jin-ho was someone who was dedicated to their own dreams and goals.

But what about Kang Jin-ho himself?

Was he, who was so good at giving advice and helping them, someone who had something that could be called a dream or a goal?

Kang Jin-ho shook his head.

No.

He didn’t have one here.

Screeeeeech!

Kang Jin-ho turned the steering wheel roughly. The car, which had been driving on the national highway after exiting the outer ring road, stopped on the side of the road.

Kang Jin-ho got out of the car and walked into the grassy area by the side of the road, looking up at the sky.

It was black.

The sky where no stars could be seen.

The dark sky, so dark that it seemed to suck him in, filled his eyes.

There was a time when seeing this sky was his wish.

Because he couldn’t escape from the sky.

There was a time when seeing the sky full of stars, which was spread out everywhere he went, was painful.

Every time, he had dreamed.

He had dreamed of being able to look at a sky where no stars could be seen when he closed his eyes and opened them, or when he went to sleep and woke up. He had dreamed of being able to escape from a world full of night and return to where he was supposed to be.

And after a long time, Kang Jin-ho finally achieved that dream.

But…

Was that all?

Click!

Kang Jin-ho put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. The end of the cigarette burned with a crackling sound. Kang Jin-ho stared at the burning end of the cigarette.

‘It can’t be forever.’

There was a time when returning to this world was his dream. And after returning to this world, his dream was to live an ordinary life in a world without violence and barbarism.

After some time, he realized that it was impossible, and that clinging to ordinariness could ruin his life. So, he focused on comfort rather than ordinariness.

And he received something else from the head nun.

So what about now?

What was he living for now?

There was no need for a reason to live. Humans were not born with a goal.

But…

He thought of his friends.

‘I look like I shine?’

Kang Jin-ho sighed.

It was the opposite.

Choi Yeon-ha said that he looked like he was shining, but Kang Jin-ho thought that they were the ones who were shining.

To put it bluntly, Kang Jin-ho wasn’t not looking back. He just didn’t know how to look back.

He didn’t know how to think about things other than himself, or how to reflect on what he had done. Others were just arbitrarily packaging him, who was just rushing forward without knowing anything.

In the past, he wouldn’t have thought about such gazes. There was no need for him to care about the gazes of others.

But what about now?

Kang Jin-ho looked up at the sky.

The black sky was looking down at him.

‘Do I need to change?’

For what?

Kang Jin-ho quietly closed his eyes.

In the past, he had lived only for himself. And after returning here, he had tried to live only for his family. After some time, he began to care not only for his family but also for the people around him.

Did he need to take another step forward from here?

For what?

He knew where the answer was. It would be in his heart. Otherwise, he wouldn’t feel this frustrated.

Click.

Kang Jin-ho took out a new cigarette, put it in his mouth, and lit it again.

The soft cigarette smoke drifted into the air.

As he let go of his mind, everything returned to square one.

‘A goal…’

The fact that he didn’t have a clear goal.

That was the difference between Kang Jin-ho and the people around him. Even Jo Gyu-min had a clear and realistic goal of assisting Kang Jin-ho. Not to mention the others.

Kang Jin-ho was the one who had the greatest influence on them, but ironically, Kang Jin-ho didn’t have the same goal as them.

Living for his family or wanting to live an ordinary life was not a goal. It was just a wish.

A goal meant a specific point that could be realistically achieved through effort.

“What does the lord live for?”

The voice of Cheongma, who had once asked him, echoed in his head.

“Why do you want to learn martial arts?”

The voice of his teacher, whom he missed even his shadow, could also be heard.

Kang Jin-ho, who had been thinking and thinking with his eyes closed for a long time, opened his eyes and lit a new cigarette, placing it in front of him. Then, he quietly murmured.

“Cheongma.”

The one who had served him his entire life. But the one who had betrayed him in the end. However, Kang Jin-ho fell into a low sense of regret as he called out that name, which was filled with more regret than resentment.

“Living is not easy.”

His voice was tinged with bitterness.

“If you were here, would you have given me an answer?”

Cheongma was always the one who gave him answers. He was a subordinate, an advisor, and also a friend. Although he didn’t realize it at the time.

“The answer is always within the lord. I am merely trying to grasp it.”

“…You heartless bastard.”

Kang Jin-ho, hearing an answer that Cheongma would never say, but was no different from Cheongma’s, could not leave that place for a long time.