Elqueeness [EN]: Chapter 603

Side Story. 10

‘Having embraced murky darkness, it is the seed of a curse leading to ruin.’

That was what the elder, a prophet and priest, had foreseen when Noel was conceived. As if to prove it, the mother who bore Noel died immediately after giving birth. Everyone felt uneasy, but they didn’t pay much attention at first, thinking what sin could a newborn baby have.

Even a bad fate could be changed if one tried to improve it in a positive direction. Everyone believed Noel would be like that too. Noel’s remaining family members only felt sorry for the child who had lost his mother as soon as he was born. It didn’t take long for that pity to turn into discomfort and hatred.

It started with the death of his father. He was suddenly attacked in a place where monsters didn’t even appear, and not even his body was left. His grandparents, who had always been healthy, began to suffer from an unknown disease. Every relative who reluctantly started taking care of Noel had accidents or died. The same was true for the neighbors. Even those who felt sympathy for Noel and tried to be kind to him died more tragically. Eventually, no one approached Noel.

Intellectually, they knew it wasn’t the child’s fault. But the desperate fear felt in the face of an unknown power was unavoidable. If the child was lovable, they might have felt sorry, but the unsettlingly strange atmosphere he possessed was also a factor.

“You must resent us too. But…”

“No, I don’t resent you. I just think it would be better to kill me. But.”

“…What?”

“Is it because you’re Elves? Are you hesitant to kill a child? Even after receiving such a prophecy and confirming the reality. At most, you just curse me; you don’t starve me or throw stones at me. You don’t even chase me away. You’re all so noble.”

“You, what kind of child are you…”

“Well, I don’t have any intention of dying willingly either. Anyway, I’m not trying to cause harm on purpose. So let’s be careful with each other. Let’s keep our distance like this in the future. Don’t give up your precious lives early.”

Hostility and disgust arose in their gazes. But even so, none of them could look Noel in the eye. They soon hurried away.

Only after being left alone did Noel let out a small sigh. He stared at the basket of bread placed next to him. Sella, who had hesitated and approached him in the morning, had quickly handed it over.

“I shouldn’t have taken it.”

No, I shouldn’t have said thank you.

I have to be more careful from now on. He regretted it a little.

“…S! Kanos!”

Noel suddenly opened his eyes to the touch of someone shaking his shoulder to wake him. In his blurry vision, he saw someone looking down at him. Only after confirming the blue color of water that made up the person did he belatedly recognize the situation.

“El?”

It was dawn, judging by the calm air. Why did he wake me up so early? As he blinked in confusion, El, who had been carefully observing him, asked cautiously.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You seemed to be having a nightmare.”

“…Oh? Really?”

Only then did Noel look down at his body. He felt unusually heavy, and his whole body was drenched in a cold sweat.

“Oh, why? I didn’t have any nightmares.”

“Isn’t your body not feeling well? That’s what happens when a forest elf keeps eating meat.”

“Come on. You don’t know anything, but a forest elf’s vegetarianism is just like a religious practice, okay? They can eat it, but they don’t to keep their bodies pure.”

“Ugh, anyway. Should I use healing magic?”

“No, no. Don’t bother with something like this. I’m just going to take a light wash because I feel uncomfortable.”

“But…”

“I’m really okay.”

As he smiled and waved his hand, El, who was reluctant to give up on healing magic, nodded as if he couldn’t help it. As a refreshing sensation enveloped his body, his vision seemed to clear up even more.

“Having a spirit friend is really nice. I guess that’s why everyone tries to make a contract with a spirit.”

“Come to think of it, Elves make spirit contracts a lot when they’re young. Kanos, why haven’t you made one yet? Are you trying to solve it all at once by contracting with the Spirit King?”

“Well, that’s not it. Actually, I just tried it. I didn’t think you’d really be summoned.”

“Seriously?”

Noel recalled the situation at the time. Someone had sneered that a cursed child probably couldn’t even summon a spirit, and he had just wondered, ‘Is that so?’ He chose the Spirit King, intending to fail on purpose because he thought it would be troublesome if a real spirit was summoned. He was just going to check how the summoning ritual worked. But he was even more surprised when El was actually summoned. Thanks to that, he left the Elf village, which he had been planning to leave anyway, sooner than he had expected, so it was a good thing.

“I’m glad, but how unlucky are you?”

“…? What’s unlucky about it?”

“Well? Anyway, is there anything to eat? I woke up hungry.”

“It’s dawn now. There probably aren’t any restaurants open yet.”

“But I’m hungry.”

“Ugh, wait a minute. I’m glad I booked a room where I can cook a little. I’ll make something.”

“Wow, El is making it himself? That’s great, but is it edible?”

“Believe it or not, I’ve even been praised by Sibel for my skills.”

As he watched El grumbling and taking out the ingredients to cook, Noel suddenly thought of his friend’s face in the sky(?). At the end of a conversation they had once had, the subtle look he had given him bothered him anew.

He probably wanted to ask if he wouldn’t regret it. He was someone who recognized a person who seemed cold and indifferent but was actually lonelier than anyone else. That must be why he adopted Elquines as his son. …And why he didn’t push him away in the end either.

“I might regret it.”

The image of his friend frowning at him appeared before his eyes. There are those who scream loneliness with their whole bodies, yet choose an even more solitary path for themselves. Perhaps he saw himself as such a foolish figure.

But it couldn’t be helped. He was flawed from the start. If he could just escape from the terrible emptiness, he didn’t care what he became. He wanted to feel the sensation of being alive, even if it meant carrying firewood and jumping into the fire.

Elluen would probably never understand him. He is strong. He never doubted that he was an absolute being. He instantly sees through the essence of others and does not hesitate to distinguish between what is wrong and what is right. He is not afraid of being isolated and does not reject those who approach him. He does his part, but is not bound by responsibility.

The Elluen he saw was freely alive. That’s why he envied him even more. That’s right. That feeling must be right. He envied Elluen. That’s why he couldn’t take the same approach as him.

“Kanos, can you eat spicy food?”

“It’s Noel now.”

“Anyway. This is a bit of a spicy dish, is that okay?”

“Um, I think it’ll be okay?”

“Really? Don’t blame me later?”

El, who picked up the chili powder, had a strangely excited look on his face. Looking at his sparkling eyes, it was obvious what he was thinking. Oh dear, it would be a shame if it was really okay. He’s still a long way from trying to trick a former demon god. Noel smiled and sat down with his chin resting on his hand, watching El cook.

He was unlucky, but he was a Spirit King who was a blessing in himself, so he would be fine for a while. He was just going to enjoy a little peace. Just a little. Before the curse within this body tried to gnaw at him. Noel smiled faintly. Is it because it’s been a long time since he had a good time? It was a surprisingly cozy feeling. He felt like he could answer the question that Elluen couldn’t ask that day.

It’s okay, Elluen.

Because this is the path I chose.

4.

If you tame me, my life will be filled with sunshine.

I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others.

Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground.

Yours will call me, like music, out of the burrow.

If you tame me, then we shall need each other.

To me, you will be unique in all the world.

To you, I shall be unique in all the world.

“Ugh…”

Taejin swept back his shaggy hair and got up. His head was pounding as if it would break, probably because of the alcohol he had drunk last night. He habitually tried to reach for a painkiller, but then frowned as he looked down at himself. Shirt, jeans, and even the watch on his wrist. He was wearing the same clothes he had worn yesterday. No matter how much he had exceeded his usual drinking limit, to collapse without even changing his clothes. He sighed, feeling that his stamina had deteriorated considerably.

The wristwatch he checked on the spur of the moment indicated exactly 8 a.m. If today were a weekday, he would be hopelessly late. Taejin clicked his tongue and threw off the clothes he was wearing one by one. As the stuffy sensation disappeared, he felt much more relieved.

Ding. He was about to go straight to the bathroom when a sound rang from the cell phone at his bedside. Taejin picked up the screen, which was emitting a white light eerily from inside the closed case. On the flat screen was the icon of the messenger app he mainly used. The sender’s name was Kim Gyuhyun, a friend of ten years since middle school and his drinking buddy last night.

[Did you get home okay yesterday?]

Should I answer this or not? Taejin stared at the cell phone with a blank expression. Then, as if he had noticed his hesitation, the screen turned off and then flashed again.

[Why aren’t you answering when you saw it? I asked if you got home okay.]

You persistent bastard.

Taejin cursed under his breath and quickly pressed the screen.

[ㅇ]

[Argh, answer with some sincerity. What are you doing today? Do you have work? No, just make time even if you have work.]

[Why.]

[You know Jinsu, right? Park Jinsu, a high school classmate. He’s getting married next month. A super-speed, big event! Who would have known that he would be the first of us to tie the knot? Anyway, he said he’s introducing his future wife and told us to gather all the kids. Especially Hatae Jin, he specifically asked me to bring you.]

[I’m not going.]

[Hey, don’t be like that. Do you know how many months it’s been since we met yesterday? Why are you getting more and more indifferent?]

[Hey, Hatae Jin, are you really not going?]

[Yaaaaa~~~~!!]

Ignoring the notification sounds that rang in succession as if protesting, Taejin got up. However, perhaps because he still had alcohol in his system, his legs, which had not properly balanced, touched a nearby shelf. Before he could even say “Oops,” the items on top of it came crashing down.

Ah, really, nothing’s working out.

Taejin sighed and slowly picked up the items that were rolling around on the floor in a mess. Then, he suddenly found a small desk calendar among the things that had fallen. It was one of those things that he hadn’t looked at much since the advent of the convenient device called a smartphone, but he still didn’t forget to turn the pages each month. As Taejin casually scanned the calendar and naturally checked today’s date, he remembered why he had drunk more than usual.

April 26th.

It was the day that guy died.

* * *

If you come at four in the afternoon, then at three I shall begin to be happy.

Everyone wants to go back to the past at least once in their lives. For Taejin, April 26th, eight years ago, was such a day. That day, he lost his best friend.

“Don’t you think this English score is too much, no matter how you think about it?”

As he held out the test paper with lines raining down like a shower, Jihun smiled sheepishly. He wasn’t a great student, but he still managed to meet the average to some extent, but he was particularly weak in English.

“Why are you putting nouns in a question that asks for articles? Did you even read the sentences before you wrote them?”

“…I just guessed.”

“I knew it. With your skills, will you be able to travel abroad later? You said we’d go on a trip to Europe together after graduation. Huh? Kang Jihun. Say something.”

“I looked it up, and surprisingly, they don’t use English much in Europe. So wouldn’t it be useless to learn it?”

“They still use it in tourist spots. Are you ignoring the world’s common language?”

“Ahaha, it’s okay. You’re good at English.”

“I don’t need it? You’re trying to freeload off a high-class worker like me.”

When he glared at him, Jihun smiled blankly. Taejin quickly pulled himself together, afraid that his heart would weaken for a moment. If he crumbled at the smile of a guy, the pride of Hatae Jin would not allow it.

“Let’s make a bet.”

“What kind of bet?”

“If you pass the average on this English test, I’ll pay for all the expenses for the trip to Europe.”

“Huh? Are you serious?”

“This *hyung* [older brother/male friend, term of endearment] doesn’t joke about things like that. But don’t dream of luxurious accommodations like hotels. Sometimes you’ll have to sleep outside.”

As he answered with a smile, Jihun’s black eyes, like Go [a strategy board game] stones, trembled. It was proof that he was tempted. But perhaps because the stakes were too high, he soon shook his head.

“Hey, no way. It’s not just a few bucks. What money do you have?”

“You still don’t know the power of this *hyung*. I can earn enough money to take care of you.”

“I said no. I don’t want to burden you.”

“It’s not a burden at all? Actually, I don’t think I’m going to lose. Have you ever seen me make a bet that I lose? In my opinion, your English score improving is as close to a miracle as Korean becoming the world’s common language overnight.”

“Hold on a second, Mr. Hatae Jin. That sounds like you’re ignoring me?”

“Oh my, you didn’t know that yet? I’m sorry you understand now.”

“…Damn it, what if I actually win?”

“Then I’ll just work part-time and save money.”

Jihun’s eyes seemed to be burning with fighting spirit at the words he answered with a grin. It was the reaction Taejin wanted.

“Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll win the bet and make Hatae Jin’s bank account empty.”

“Ooh, the spirit is good. But can you really do it?”

“Why are you being like this? I’m a guy who does what he says.”

After exchanging fierce glances for a while, the two looked at each other and laughed.

Until then, death was someone else’s story that he only saw on TV or in the newspaper. He realized in the most terrible way that it wasn’t something so far away, that it could happen to him at any time. Even if an individual’s tragedy is great, the world does not change.

“He must not have seen the car coming because he was looking at the vocabulary book.”

In front of the mortuary, where he was standing blankly, he heard people whispering. Someone handed him something called a keepsake. Taejin, with trembling hands, received it and contorted his face. It was an English vocabulary book filled with tiny letters, which Jihun had been holding until the very end.

From that day on, Taejin had nightmares every day. He was always in the same place at the same time, and only Jihun walked alone and disappeared into the darkness. No matter how much he shouted and called, Jihun did not look back. It seemed that he could not hear the sound from this side at all.

If I hadn’t told him to improve his English score at that time. If I hadn’t made a bet. No, if I hadn’t suggested going on a trip in the first place. Dozens of futile regrets struck his heart every day.

The unchanging daily life also made him suffer. His world had been turned upside down overnight, but the surrounding scenery was the same. His friends, who had mourned and cried with him, had already returned to their original places and were laughing and talking as if nothing had happened. Rather, they stared uncomfortably at Taejin, who was still wandering even after time had passed, as if they could not understand him. In that peaceful life, the only alien being was Hatae Jin, only one.

“The world doesn’t end just because one friend dies.”

The homeroom teacher, who was always worried about his condition, called Taejin and said that. Other friends said similar things. If you’re like this, the dead Jihun will have a harder time, so stop thinking about your friend who is living well in heaven and be happy again now.

But they didn’t know anything. At least when Jihun died, Taejin’s ordinary life ended from that day on. He couldn’t laugh comfortably like before. No matter what he saw or experienced, it wasn’t as enjoyable as before. The world, which had been full of color, turned black and white overnight. He felt like he had become an empty shell that couldn’t feel anything. If that guy sees me like this, he’ll have a hard time in heaven? That’s good. It’s more unfair if only I’m suffering.

I’m sorry, Kang Jihun. I’m so selfish. I don’t want to see you sad, but I still want you to remember me and be in pain rather than forget me. That’s exactly how I am right now.

You know what? Even now, when I walk down the street and see a group of high school students, I unconsciously look for you among them. In case you’re among them. The snack bar in the alley we used to find together, the streets we used to walk often, the topics we mainly talked about. If I happen to hear the music you and I used to enjoy on the street, tears pour out like crazy, and I can’t do anything all day. I’m probably the only person in the world who cries while listening to a dance song, right?

I think of you even on rainy days. It was the weather you especially liked. When the weather forecast showed a rain icon, I thoughtlessly thought you’d like it and cursed myself for being crazy more than once or twice.

You probably don’t know any of this. You’ve left the world behind and have already forgotten about me. I’ve become so terribly tamed by you.

* * *

The Korean weather, where spring had disappeared, was still as chilly as winter even in April. The news predicted that the cherry blossoms would bloom earlier than usual, but even though the date they were expected to be in full bloom had arrived, most of the flowers had not even bloomed yet. There were frequent stories that companies that were preparing cherry blossom viewing events in line with the Korea Meteorological Administration’s predictions were all failing miserably. Even today, it was unusually cold, and heavy snow fell from the morning. The snow, which had accumulated in an instant, buried the street trees, which were barely sprouting green, in white.

What crazy weather. Taejin wrapped his coat and wrapped his muffler around his neck. It was a day he didn’t want to go out, but he couldn’t help it because of an appointment. After parking and getting out of the car, a cold chill pricked his cheeks. The reason he reluctantly took the steps he didn’t want to take was because of Gyuhyun’s phone call the day before.

-I’m really sorry!

As soon as he answered the phone, Gyuhyun apologized out of the blue. He had unilaterally ignored the invitation to the meeting before, so he thought he would be very angry, but Taejin was puzzled to receive an apology instead.

-I forgot that day was Jihun’s death anniversary. Jinsu also said “Oops” when he heard about it. So we decided to set a new date.

“Ah…”

-Next Saturday is okay, right? I’m sorry, Taejin. Please show your face just once for my sake. Huh?

“…”

Actually, he had no intention of going out whether the date changed or not. Still, he was a little relieved by the fact that there were still people who remembered Jihun. At least his friends didn’t seem to be the kind of guys who had lost their conscience to the point of holding a celebration on the anniversary of their dead friend’s death.

However, he didn’t have the sense to choose a meeting place. Taejin swallowed a sigh as he looked around at the familiar scenery around him.

Damn it, why here of all places.

The meeting place was close to the high school Taejin had graduated from. Since most of the people who had been contacted were alumni, it seemed that they had deliberately summoned them to a place of old memories. Of course, it was nothing more than a nightmare he wanted to avoid for Taejin.

As he walked into a place he had been consciously avoiding, he felt breathless. Taejin, who habitually looked for a cigarette, sighed when he saw that the pack was empty. He had been smoking and drinking a lot during this period, but even considering that, he had smoked too much. I’m not going to die peacefully, he muttered to himself. Still, he didn’t think about not buying cigarettes.