Follow Your Heart [EN]: Chapter 105

#105.

For days, Jae remained in her study, completely engrossed in reading a stack of diaries.

To her right sat a plate of bite-sized fruit and a cup of slightly bitter tea.

However, she didn’t spare them a glance, her focus entirely consumed by her task.

Hailey’s childhood diaries weren’t much different from her later ones.

After gaining her precognitive abilities, recording events must have felt burdensome, but as a child, it seemed to be her primary form of writing. Or perhaps it was simply a deeply ingrained habit.

But perhaps it was due to the one-sided familiarity that had built up.

Jae didn’t find the diaries, which lacked significant content, as boring or frustrating as she initially had.

They were even endearing at times. She had always known Hailey was kind-hearted, but she was even more innocent and pure as a child.

Jae belatedly took a sip of the now-cold tea.

Then, she refocused on the diary.

“October 4, 491

Father drank heavily.

He cursed His Majesty, questioning why I had to suffer such humiliation.

Mother told me not to speak of it to anyone.

I must never tell anyone.”

“October 5, 491 Father called Brother and me and said,

The Duncans have always been at the center of history.

What does that mean? I don’t understand difficult things.

I just want to play with my friends.”

The conflict between the royal family and the Duncans wasn’t just a recent development of the last decade or two.

Still, even so.

Why would he deliver such a lecture to a child? Were all prestigious noble families like that?

As Jae shook her head, she suddenly furrowed her brows.

She quietly set down the teacup she was holding.

The following sentence was strange.

“The Duncans are not at the center of history.

We cannot change history.

We are not of great help to the balance of power.

The Duncans merely follow the flow.”

Jae, who had been reading with intense focus, pondered for a long time before nodding.

‘This… is a sentence written on a different day.’

The reason she was sure it was added later wasn’t just because the content was meaningful. The handwriting was more refined and organized than when she was a child.

Strictly speaking, it was closer to the handwriting she had used just before her death.

‘Did Hailey reread her diary before she died?’

It wasn’t something she couldn’t understand.

As people reach the end of their lives, they often feel the need to organize their past.

However, Jae still had unresolved questions, so she tilted her head.

She repeated the phrase several times.

“The balance of power…”

That was a very familiar phrase to Jae.

It was a phrase that appeared in the will of the fifth king, Noel Provisio Blaireuk.

‘If the balance of power exists until then, history will surely repeat itself.’

Jae could understand Hailey’s words that she couldn’t change history.

Just because you see the future doesn’t mean you can alter everything.

Then what exactly *is* this balance of power?

After pondering for a while, Jae turned another page of the diary.

***

The king and nobles were discussing state affairs in the conference hall.

Roderick rested his chin on his hand, merely listening to the nobles’ reports.

It was when the Marquis Mayer, whose son was the commander of the southern border guard, finished speaking that Roderick, who had been contemplating something, finally opened his mouth.

“I’m considering temporarily suspending the southern advance policy.”

All the nobles, whether pro-royal or anti-royal, turned their gaze to the king.

The king met their gaze with a calm expression. He had fully anticipated some backlash. He continued.

“After all, didn’t Bodore propose a peace treaty before?”

“Let’s proceed with concluding that quickly.”

The influential nobles in attendance exchanged words with the people next to them, murmuring amongst themselves.

And there was also someone present who was both tactless and brave.

“Your Majesty, does that mean… the marriage proposal they made…”

Jade squeezed her eyes shut, sighing inwardly.

Roderick, who had been sitting with a calm face, narrowed his brows for a moment.

He glanced at the nobles and then looked at the commander of the 3rd Knights with dry eyes.

The commander of the 3rd Knights, seeing the expression of the married man who seemed to have a lot to say, flinched and avoided his gaze.

The king turned his gaze back to the nobles.

“What did I say would happen if anyone brought that up in front of me again?”

*There are many empty rooms in the underground prison, but I’m holding back because the queen told me not to act like a tyrant.*

Roderick sighed and swept back his hair.

“It’s your job to find and coordinate other negotiation terms. Do it through barter.”

“…”

“And we plan to withdraw some troops from the south and send them to the west. For the time being, let’s focus on suppressing the Daimon [a rebel group] reconstruction forces.”

The king briefly examined the faces of the nobles.

He needed someone in charge of this task.

His blue eyes, which had been contemplating, eventually settled on Duke Duncan.

The Duke was also silently watching the king.

The moment the king and the Duke, the representative of the anti-royal faction, met eyes, a palpable sense of tension filled the conference hall.

However, Roderick soon raised one corner of his mouth and chuckled.

“The troop withdrawal will be entrusted to the commander of the southern army. And the command of the withdrawn soldiers will be entrusted to the deputy commander of the western army.”

In the end, it meant that there would be no changes to the southern army command, including Albert Duncan.

It also suggested that the king had no intention of granting the Duncan family’s requests in the future.

However, Roderick was lost in thoughts that were slightly different from what people assumed.

He was constantly observing the Duke.

The Duke, who had been nitpicking at every meeting, had been uncharacteristically silent for some time.

His face seemed calm on the surface.

But Roderick strangely felt that he was anxious.

The Duke was only requesting audiences with the Queen and probing her to a desperate degree, as if he was relying on her for everything.

*Why?*

The king’s blue eyes suddenly lit up.

He remembered what his wife had said a while ago.

‘There’s a family precept not to trust Duncan, right? Originally, people who see the future don’t always act according to the greater good. No one wants to go down a thorny path knowing it will be difficult.’

The Duke had been constantly requesting the reinstatement of his eldest son and attacking the king.

Harassing him over trivial matters like health and hunting was not only annoying but also tiresome.

Roderick realized the simple reason why the Duke, who had been hiding his venom, had become quiet.

‘You’re just unsure. You know this is an important moment, but no matter how much you think about it, you think your daughter is a seer… but your daughter doesn’t tell you where to side. Because your daughter who can tell you that… doesn’t exist.’

*You hesitate because the Queen doesn’t give you a clear answer and consistently supports me. You’re lost, wondering if your choices and political path were wrong. Am I wrong?*

*But in fact, the Queen isn’t on my side because she’s sure I’ll win. She’s protecting me because she doesn’t want me to go wrong. So, even though she’s trembling with uncertainty, she always finds the courage.*

*A person like you will never understand that.*

Roderick, who had been watching the Duke and sneering inwardly for a while, said to the nobles.

“This time, we’ll strike decisively. I intend to ensure that the name Daimon is no longer mentioned in future generations. Everyone, organize your tasks and report separately.”

As the king left his seat after speaking, the anti-royal nobles looked at the Duke.

Because the king had repeatedly trampled on the anti-royal nobles during the meeting today.

However, the leader, who could not decide anything according to his own will in this moment of crisis, remained silent.

***

The king, having finished the meeting, strode away.

Of course, everyone knew where the king was headed.

It was the Queen’s study. It was the result of Jae taking up residence there, studying the diaries almost like a scholar.

However, when the king arrived in front of the study, the maids looked very troubled.

“Why?”

As the king asked, puzzled, Deborah stepped forward and reported.

“Well… she asked us not to disturb her if possible, and there’s no response even when we announce from outside.”

Roderick clicked his tongue.

“Call her again.”

Deborah, bowing her head, raised her voice once more and knocked on the door.

“Your Majesty the Queen, His Majesty is here.”

The inside remained silent.

Normally, he would have gone in before even announcing, but Roderick was just waiting. The Queen had told him not to disturb her, and he didn’t want to go in without permission.

However, his face, which had been leaning against the wall, suddenly hardened. Could something be wrong inside? A sense of foreboding arose.

He immediately approached the door.

“Come out.”

“…”

“Move aside.”

People were taken aback when the king suddenly frowned and spoke.

Roderick, not caring, pushed through the crowd and threw the door open.

And when he saw the scene unfolding inside the study, he was utterly dumbfounded.

Jae was asleep, lying face down on the desk, using her arms as a pillow.

As the knights rushed in, Roderick put a finger to his lips.

The knights, who had been preparing to draw their swords, looked embarrassed as they saw the sleeping Queen.

Roderick gestured for them to leave.

As the knights, scratching their heads, quietly left, Roderick approached Jae. She was breathing peacefully with a very serene expression.

Just in case, he put the back of his hand to her body to feel her temperature. Confirming that there was nothing particularly wrong, he finally let out a deep sigh of relief.

“…You have so many ways to surprise people.”

Roderick looked at Jae with a somewhat annoyed gaze, but soon chuckled. It was the first time he had seen her fall asleep like this.

Her white, soft cheek, squashed against her forearm, was cute.

Thinking she must have been very tired, he sat on the edge of the desk.

And he began to watch her sleep in earnest.

Even though Roderick was staring intently, Jae didn’t wake up for quite some time. He muttered, thinking that her sleeping position seemed uncomfortable.

“If I pick her up and move her, will she wake up?”

After hesitating, Roderick first took off his navy blue jacket and covered her back with it.

Then he paused for a moment. Her apricot-colored hair, which had fallen down, was tickling Jae’s face with each breath.

In the end, unable to resist touching her, he carefully tucked her hair behind her ear.

Jae began to wrinkle her eyes.

Roderick held his breath, but she eventually opened her eyes completely.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“…Did you come?”

“That’s unusual. You wouldn’t wake up even if there was a wailing outside, but you wake up when I touch you a little.”

“Wailing?”

Deborah had only called her twice in a polite and refined tone.

Jae didn’t quite understand what he was saying, so she frowned and sat up.