Follow Your Heart [EN]: Chapter 33

#33.

But Lee Jae couldn’t continue speaking and just stared blankly at the sculpture.

Roderick placed it back on the bedside table and said,

“I told them to replace all the wood.”

Lee Jae shook her head.

“No. There’s nothing wrong with the wood. It’s just that I… carved it wrong, so leave it.”

*This is just proof of how rough your nights have been.*

*It means you’ve endured it every day.*

“I’ll carve a new one for you soon. Then you can throw that one away. It looks like it’s going to break soon.”

“You’ll carve another one for me?”

“Yes, I will.”

“I think I’m in big trouble.”

“What is it?”

“I’m starting to look forward to what other monstrosity you’ll create.”

Lee Jae suppressed a smile and looked at Roderick.

In fact, she had something she was curious about asking the king.

“Your Majesty.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really sorry, but can I ask you just one thing?”

At her cautious words, Roderick laughed, as if sighing.

“We’ve even kissed, can’t we drop the formalities now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t say you’re sorry, just ask comfortably.”

“Ah.”

But it was true that it was a very rude question.

As Roderick continued to wait, Lee Jae, who was smiling awkwardly, asked,

“Your Majesty, have you ever committed a great sin in your life?”

*If it wasn’t a sin worthy of divine punishment, this situation was hard to explain.*

*Perhaps this was the accumulated karma of five hundred years of the dynasty.*

But she had never met an emperor before, so she couldn’t be sure.

The most influential person she had seen from afar was the head of a company that had been in business for three generations.

Roderick paused for a moment, lost in thought.

“Well, that’s a difficult question.”

Lee Jae suppressed a smile.

In fact, most people reacted that way.

A person who asserts that they have no sins is either a truly good person with a low probability or a very bad person with a high probability.

“Ah, so Your Majesty isn’t sure either?”

Lee Jae said teasingly, but he just shrugged as if he didn’t care.

“Who on the throne would be confident in that? What benefits my side is usually poison to the other. I just hope that what I do isn’t meaningless.”

“………”

“You said it back then, too. That I would have my own justification.”

Lee Jae nodded, finding it somewhat agreeable.

A person born with the destiny of a king could not live like a clergyman.

He was someone who sometimes had to see blood to protect his territory and people.

Roderick, who was carefully observing Lee Jae’s reaction, asked with a slightly mischievous look,

“But why are you asking that? Are you into nice guys?”

Lee Jae chuckled.

After thinking for a moment, she shook her head.

“Not really. I’m not a very nice person either.”

“You?”

The king laughed out loud as if he had heard something absurd.

“What big sin did you commit? Spill it.”

“Well, I don’t think I’ve done anything really bad, but I don’t have a grand cause like Your Majesty, and I’m not kind at heart.”

“Really?”

Roderick asked back as if he found it interesting, and Lee Jae readily nodded.

“I used to resent someone severely. There was a time when I was struggling, and it felt like it was all because of that person… That person probably had their own reasons, but I didn’t want to know them. I still don’t. I just wanted them to know how I felt. I’m so childish, right?”

“No. Not really.”

Lee Jae gave a faint smile, staring intently at him.

She wanted to gauge whether he was saying it out of courtesy or sincerity.

Roderick nodded, as if telling her to continue.

“But the funny thing is, there were days when I felt sorry for people.”

*Since my spiritual eye opened, I realized there were so many people suffering in the world.*

“But that resentment and pity were so strong that my heart wasn’t at peace. Hating someone and feeling sorry for them every day.”

“………”

“Without realizing that I was becoming more lonely. I was so foolish.”

“………Were you lonely?”

Lee Jae paused for a moment, lost in thought.

Admitting it felt too pathetic.

But it was natural for an orphan’s life and a shaman’s fate to be lonely. So perhaps denying even this part would be even more pathetic.

Lee Jae nodded briefly.

“Very occasionally. Just a sliver.”

“………”

“But Your Majesty, resentment is all about your own feelings. You have to resolve it within yourself. People who have to vent it on others… from then on, they start accumulating bad karma.”

*And no matter how I look at it, you don’t seem like that kind of person.*

Lee Jae, who had spoken like a Zen master, stared blankly at the vengeful spirits attached to the wall.

The reason why vengeful spirits can easily infiltrate at night is because darkness makes humans weak and sentimental.

Lee Jae realized that her heart had wavered for a moment while she was talking. She felt a little awkward, thinking that she had rattled on about unnecessary things.

“I’m sorry. I told a boring story for too long, right?”

Lee Jae asked in a bright tone, but Roderick didn’t answer.

He was feeling a strange sensation.

Just now, it felt like someone had walked heavily through his heart.

It was as if he had seen the face she had been hiding. When he came to his senses, that person had disappeared without a trace, but footprints remained in his heart.

As the silence grew longer, Lee Jae began to glance at him, trying to read his expression.

Roderick, noticing this, changed the subject in his own way.

He handed the sculptures on the bedside table back to Lee Jae.

“Here, give them names and play with them.”

Lee Jae suppressed a smile.

“Your Majesty, I think you actually like these. You pretended to hate them so much. But what do you know about giving them names?”

“You said they protect you from nightmares.”

Lee Jae was silent.

*Changseung [Korean totem poles] have been village guardians since ancient times. Giving them names was too trivial, but she still pondered it quite seriously.*

After a while, she smiled and said,

“This one is Haley.”

*And the female general under heaven… is Lee Jae. My body and my spirit.*

Roderick smiled as if he found it very cute and took one of the Changseung from Lee Jae’s hand.

He tapped the forehead of the male general under heaven, Haley, as if he were a person, and said,

“Is this some kind of self-portrait? But it’s too ugly. Do you not look in the mirror at all?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Anyway, I can’t throw this one away even if it’s broken in two.”

“…Why?”

“I put my wife’s name on it, how can I throw it away?”

It was a sweet story, but Lee Jae’s face clouded over slightly.

*No. My name is Lee Jae. Then don’t throw Lee Jae away either.*

As she placed the female general under heaven back in its place with a bitter smile, Roderick tilted his head. Her complexion already seemed pale, but just now her expression had become gloomy.

He wondered if he had made a mistake, but he didn’t know the reason.

He gently nudged Lee Jae’s shoulder and stretched her out. And he continued to look at her face with his chin in his hand.

No matter how much he looked, he couldn’t understand what was inside.

But disliking her lonely face, he gave her a light kiss.

“You said once a day. Why are you doing it again?”

“This is a bit petty to say, but you didn’t answer my question back then.”

“Did I?”

“Yes. It means we still have room for negotiation.”

After pondering for a moment, she asked,

“I know this is a bit petty to say too, but doesn’t that mean there’s also room to reduce the number of times?”

“…Why is politics being done by the father-in-law and not you? The fox is right here.”

As Roderick intended, Lee Jae burst into laughter.

But Roderick thought that if the queen were sitting at the negotiating table, he would grant almost anything she asked.

Listening to her, it didn’t seem like she was saying anything wrong.

“Our fox, let’s see how much your tail has grown.”

“Ah, don’t do that. I’m going to get angry. Am I going to do the same prank to you?”

“Do it. But I’m right in front of you.”

“Oh my god… such an imaginative pervert.”

“I know you married well enough; you can stop saying it.”

The two bickered and engaged in a trivial physical fight.

Lee Jae tried to strike first before Roderick could.

As the little fox’s hand pretended to reach behind him, Roderick grabbed her slender wrist. Then the other hand quickly aimed for an opening, but Roderick easily caught that too.

Lee Jae, whose wrists were both caught in one hand, was a little flustered.

*Oh? This isn’t a joke?*

Roderick was looking at her with an intrigued expression.

It was an expression that wondered what she was going to do now.

Hesitating and trying to read his expression, Lee Jae tapped Roderick’s thigh with her foot. Roderick laughed in disbelief.

“Are you kicking your husband with your foot like that?”

“When did I? I just tried to push you lightly. Did it hurt?”

“Haley. Realistically, would this hurt?”

It just felt like the apricot-colored fox was still struggling because she didn’t want to sleep yet.

Just in case, he looked here and there at Lee Jae’s wrists and then gently released them.

“Sorry. I was going to stay still, but you were so fast that I ended up grabbing you.”

“I won’t mess with you again.”

“Why? You can. I like it.”

“They said not to mess with someone who works out.”

Lee Jae said politely, having confirmed his different level of reflexes.

Roderick, shaking his body and laughing, pulled Lee Jae up and gave her a pillow for her arm.

As Lee Jae turned her back to him and settled down, he said,

“Haley.”

“Yes?”

“It’s so strange.”

“What is?”

“I feel like I can fall asleep right away.”

Even in this room.

Roderick gently took Lee Jae’s hand and then released it.

“Have good dreams.”

“Your Majesty too… you have to sleep well.”

She clenched and unclenched her small fist a few times because of the sudden surge of strange feelings.

The human conversation they shared was enjoyable.

The warmth that brushed past her hands and heart was warm.

So this was enough for today’s charm fee, and Lee Jae just hoped that he would have a peaceful night.

After Roderick fell asleep, Lee Jae gently moved his arm away and got up.

Just in case, she pressed down on Roderick’s temples and the area around the crown of his head.

It was an act for a good night’s sleep.

“Your Majesty, you mustn’t wake up in the middle. Sleeping soundly is helping me.”

Lee Jae walked stealthily towards the vengeful spirits.

Then a disgusting and foul stench emanated.

The dozen or so vengeful spirits each had a story to tell.

As those faces all glared at her, Lee Jae also felt the fine hairs on her arms stand on end.

But she pretended to be nonchalant, suppressing her nausea and straightening her shoulders.

“Let’s have those who are willing to resolve their grudges line up first.”

“Hurry up and line up. First come, first served. Our night is shorter than you think.”

No vengeful spirit readily approached her as she rolled the sacred bracelet.

In the first place, it is impossible for a truly vicious vengeful spirit to resolve their grudges and go to a good place.

The only option is to destroy their spirits altogether.

Because the sins they committed while wandering the human realm are deep.

Lee Jae, who was sharply scrutinizing them, eventually approached the vengeful spirit who seemed to have the weakest energy.

Biting her lip, she struck the spirit’s shoulder with her bracelet and dragged him out without warning.

It was a soldier who had died young.