Follow Your Heart [EN]: Chapter 72

#72.

The day after the argument with Lee Jae, Roderick came to find her.

It was to apologize, but the head maid stopped him.

‘Her Majesty the Queen is not feeling well.’

‘Hailey? Where? How severe?’

The king was so surprised that he tried to open the door and go inside.

But the head maid hurriedly said,

‘She wishes to be alone.’

‘…Are you daring to stop me?’

Deborah knelt and prostrated herself [a gesture of deep respect and submission].

‘Absolutely not, Your Majesty. If Your Majesty wishes to enter, no one in Cayenne can stop you. I am merely conveying Her Majesty’s wishes.’

‘…The physician?’

‘……’

‘Hasn’t a physician visited?’

‘Is she truly ill?’

He felt a mix of emotions.

The disappointment of being rejected warred with the relief that she didn’t seem seriously ill.

He hesitated but ultimately couldn’t bring himself to open the door and turned away.

However, when the same scenario repeated for several days, Roderick and everyone else realized the situation was becoming serious.

Today, as always, the king came and knocked on the door.

‘Hailey, let’s talk.’

There was no response.

At this point, one might doubt if anyone was even inside.

‘Then at least answer me. You don’t have to show yourself.’

The king was anxious.

‘Hailey, you’re not seriously ill, are you? …Okay, if you’re alright, just let me hear your voice.’

The king, who was about to leave, turned back and said,

‘I was wrong. I’m sorry. Give me a chance to apologize. …I want to see you so much.’

People became solemn and bowed their heads.

The king seemed like a desperate suitor pleading at a door that wouldn’t open.

Nevertheless, the door remained firmly closed, and the queen did not respond.

Roderick asked Deborah,

‘Is the Queen eating well?’

‘…Yes, she is fine.’

‘Is she not sick in any way?’

‘…No.’

Roderick nodded.

Meanwhile, at that very moment, Lee Jae was engrossed in carving in her room.

The Ham’s spirit climbed onto the table and watched her, and Roderick’s voice reached inside.

Lee Jae sighed as she listened.

Nevertheless, her hand holding the carving knife moved incessantly.

‘Why did I get so angry? It was so undignified. I’ll regret it in the end. I need to be more careful with my words, but it never works out, no matter how hard I try.’

-Then you can make up after seeing her face.

-Humans do something called a handshake.

-It means you don’t intend to harm them. Lee Jae nodded.

‘Yeah, that’s right. But I can’t see him. My heart is still too… raw.’

The Ham’s spirit was sad with her.

-Why is Lee Jae sad?

‘It’s hard to admit that I’m inadequate. But once I think it’s all my fault, I feel a little better.’

-When Lee Jae feels better, do what feels comfortable.

Lee Jae lowered her head, her eyes filled with sadness.

Unable to do anything else, she continued to carve the wood.

It was the Great General of the Heavens and the Great General of the Underworld, destined to be placed in the king’s room.

She had resented this ability until the day she died.

But in the end, this was all she could do for others.

That was her only way. Lee Jae wrote charms whenever she had the chance.

We cannot know what our future holds.

She sometimes saw glimpses of the future, but she didn’t have the ability to see such a grand, sweeping future. She knew that limitation well from the beginning.

But the constant intuition was that she might die.

Adding a more mundane perspective, they might break up.

Lee Jae was discouraged, but she hoped that the king would always be alright, even if she wasn’t in that future.

-I’m always on Lee Jae’s side.

‘You may not have a nose, but you’re a very smart and kind child, aren’t you?’

-Of course!

‘There was a fairy tale where I used to live.’

-What is it?

‘It’s a fairy tale that your nose grows when you lie.’

-Really?

‘Yeah. But since having no nose is your charm, don’t lie like me, okay?’

-Okay! I got it! I don’t lie!

Having no nose is my charm!

The Ham’s spirit shrugged and was happy.

Lee Jae smiled as she looked at the spirit, and she silently did her best to carve the Jangseung [Korean totem pole].

It was four days before the Queen came out of her room.

Holding the Jangseung and the charm, Lee Jae first asked Deborah.

‘Is His Majesty in a meeting?’

‘Yes, he just went in.’

‘How long will it take?’

‘It usually takes a couple of hours, but… shall I tell him? He will surely come right away.’

Deborah hesitated before adding. The Queen needed to know too.

‘Your Majesty, the King has come two or three times every day. …He was really worried.’

Lee Jae hesitated but soon shook her head.

‘Could you please not let him know that I came out? Please don’t tell him.’

Deborah and the maids all thought the Queen was really strange.

They were all people who shared their fate with the Queen, but it was clear that their fate was also intertwined with the King.

People sometimes couldn’t understand the Queen.

But Deborah said,

‘Your Majesty, I will attend to you.’

Lee Jae thought she would face difficulties at the entrance to the King’s room, because she had unintentionally made a fool of him last time. She was a little embarrassed and sorry.

She couldn’t confidently push the door open like before.

Lee Jae, who was hesitating, asked,

‘Can I… come in?’

But the soldiers opened the door without saying anything.

Everyone had that much sense.

The King asked about the Queen’s well-being every day and talked about the Queen whenever he had a chance.

Now, blocking the Queen’s entry was a shortcut to dismissal.

Lee Jae, who came into the room, looked around.

Was this the result of divine help? There were only two vengeful spirits today.

After first putting her hands together and expressing her gratitude, Lee Jae turned around and looked at the Yama [Buddhist deity] statue.

‘You are indeed my masterpiece. It seems that everyone flinches a little when you look scary. The important thing is to take the initiative.’

Lee Jae stroked the Yama statue several times, saying that it had suffered.

And as usual, she approached the bedside and was struck speechless.

The Great General of the Underworld, which had been split in two, stood tall.

The Great General of the Underworld, patched together with strange things, was more grotesque and utterly ridiculous.

But tears instantly welled up in Lee Jae’s eyes.

‘What are you doing?’

This has no power, even if you do this.

It’s useless anyway; it’s all broken. Why did you do this?

‘I told you to throw these things away.’

Lee Jae kept wiping away the tears that kept flowing.

The King couldn’t throw away the broken statue, because it contained his wife’s precious sincerity. Lee Jae felt the same.

She couldn’t throw away the broken statue like trash anymore either, because the King’s heart was here.

She put the cracked Great General of the Heavens and Lee Jae in her pocket.

And she placed the statues she had worked hard to carve for several days in the empty space.

‘You will definitely be alright, because I am always earnestly hoping for it.’

Your Majesty, perhaps one day you may abandon me.

I ruined my past life because of that shame and anger, but I’m not going to resent anyone anymore. It’s not anyone’s fault.

One thing is clear: I am your friend who will not betray you in any moment.

Thank you for constantly talking to my lonely life.

Lee Jae, who had been smiling with a lonely face for a while, breathed her wishes into the Jangseung.

And soon she looked at the wall.

The news that the Queen had come out of the room was also conveyed to the King.

Deborah was mobilizing all her connections to catch this rat [the person who leaked the information].

But it wasn’t easy, because the owner of the castle was the King.

Roderick, who heard the whisper during the meeting, asked back.

‘Hailey?’

Roderick was very happy, but he was also worried.

‘Is the Queen not sick in any way?’

‘No, she looks fine.’

‘Okay, I understand.’

But while discussing state affairs, the King suddenly beckoned Jade.

‘Can’t we have a physician on standby?’

Roderick was restless, wondering how he could get his wife to see a physician. She was reluctant to get a checkup, so should he ask her to get one together? Or should he ask her to go to the temple? What should he eat, what should he do to make her happy?

But no matter how much he thought about it, his wife was a person who liked nothing but carving and growing herbs. In fact, it was now ambiguous whether she liked it because she liked it.

Carving, growing herbs, brewing medicine, Arthur’s Forest, the King’s room, a walk by the lake.

What did she do entirely for herself there?

But the king’s face, pondering this and that, was full of excitement.

The nobles couldn’t understand why the king was smiling so broadly.

The King finished the meeting faster than usual and headed to his room.

But the room was empty.

‘Why isn’t the Queen here?’

Roderick felt deflated.

‘She left a little while ago.’

He frowned and urged,

‘Didn’t I tell you to hold her back?’

‘We tried to, but we couldn’t do anything because she insisted on leaving… Her Majesty the Queen was too stubborn… I’m sorry.’

The Queen’s strange stubbornness that sometimes came out was already famous.

No one could understand it.

But people bowed their heads in front of the King.

Roderick felt conflicted and looked around his room.

And he looked at the wall that she always glanced at.

As always, nothing was visible.

But at that moment, Roderick felt something keenly.

‘It’s strange.’

The room feels comfortable. The energy is definitely stable.

That was the intuition of a member of the royal family and a swordsman.

‘You did something here again.’

As soon as he said that, there was a faint smell of burning.

It was the smell that sometimes came when the Queen slept.

People couldn’t understand what the King was saying, but the King’s face was frighteningly hardened.

‘Send a physician to the Queen right now.’

‘Yes?’

‘Quickly. Even if the Queen refuses, be sure to check her condition. It’s a royal order.’

The King spoke in a strong tone, but people thought they could feel a tremor in his voice.

As evidence, Roderick sat down on the bed and stroked his forehead.

The King looked at the bedside, and the statue had been changed.

‘I clearly said my thing… don’t do what you want without permission.’

Nevertheless, he carefully caressed the neatly carved new statue.

The statue was no longer grotesque or ridiculous.

It was just sad and lovely.

‘I made it because I wanted you to sleep well.’

‘Very occasionally, the sincere wishes of others may protect Your Majesty.’

Hailey, I actually want to apologize to you. I’m so sorry for suspecting you once.

Your heart is so affectionate and precious. Your sincere wishes that do not break, no matter how hurt you are.

You must have been kicked countless times in this cruel world.

You covered your face, huddled up, and asked them not to hit you because you couldn’t resist.

But what I want to say is that you are a very precious and noble person.

Roderick felt like crying.

He looked here and there at the statue, and he found something at the bottom.

The name the Queen had given was engraved very small on the bottom of the statue.

The Queen’s heart was felt in those small, faint letters.

The selfish heart that she wanted to write so much and the altruistic heart that she didn’t want people to know, sacrificing and getting hurt between them… is one person.

The world was big, and she said she was dust.

But her wife’s heart was too broad for that.

‘Hailey.’

Roderick, like a person possessed by something, turned over the Great General of the Underworld this time. Roderick’s voice subsided a little.

But his hand was trembling slightly.

‘Lee Jae.’

Roderick’s blue eyes sparkled. Something kept rising from his chest.

But he once again emphasized clearly.

‘Lee Jae.’

Suddenly, something seemed to click into place in his head.

Problems that had not been solved came to mind and quickly found answers.

‘Is this… you?’

However, his eyes, which had been feeling joy, were gradually filled with sadness.

The face that was sad as she looked at the broken statue came to mind.

Are you really okay?

You must have been in pain. You must have been very lonely holding this secret alone.

But how could you tell me that you like someone like me?

‘I’m sorry.’

Roderick covered his face with trembling hands.