Follow Your Heart [EN]: Chapter 84

As Her Heart Led – Episode 84

#84.

Lee Jae opened her eyes again just as Roderick was finishing nearly an entire entry in Hailey’s diary. As she curled her hands into fists and rubbed her eyes, he looked down at her silently.

“Did you sleep well?”

“You’re here?”

“I came earlier. Don’t you remember?”

Lee Jae thought for a moment, then nodded. She seemed to recall seeing him in her sleep.

He had come in the early hours and quietly held her hand.

“Your Majesty, if I oversleep, please wake me.”

“Why would I wake you? Do you know how cute you are when you snore softly?”

“…Did I snore?”

“I’m just kidding. You sleep so sweetly and prettily, don’t worry about it.”

As soon as she opened her eyes, the King was making strange jokes again.

She was dumbfounded but secretly relieved.

Phew, thank goodness I didn’t snore.

I’d rather have a nosebleed; I don’t want to snore in front of my husband yet.

But as she felt relieved, something strange caught her eye.

The King was leaning against the headboard, reading something.

‘What is that?’ Narrowing her eyes, Lee Jae was soon startled and reached out.

It was Hailey’s diary that the King was holding.

Not knowing why she was doing this, Roderick snapped the diary shut.

And instantly raised his hand high. It was an admirable display of reflexes, but Lee Jae just wanted to stomp her feet.

“Ugh! Don’t look at it. Give it to me.”

“Why?”

“Would you like it if someone secretly read your diary?”

It was a very logical question.

But Roderick looked like he didn’t understand.

“Then why are you reading it?”

That was even more logical.

Of course, Lee Jae had her own reasons. She needed to know certain things in order to live as Hailey Duncan.

But she didn’t want the King to see everything. Lee Jae didn’t want to spread rumors about how unhappy Hailey’s life had been.

Wouldn’t it be better for anyone to be remembered as a warm and wise person rather than as an unhappy one? Just like in Lawrence’s memory.

Lee Jae threw off the blanket and threw herself at the King.

She braced herself on his shoulder and reached out with all her might.

“Don’t tease me. Give it to me quickly.”

Roderick chuckled and moved his arm further away.

At the same time, he wrapped one arm around her waist.

“It’s exciting when you attack me like this in the morning.”

Lee Jae flinched, but he simply lifted her up and sat her next to him.

Lee Jae reached out her hand, and Roderick obediently placed the diary in her palm. The last volume was filled with content like ‘I don’t want to die’ and ‘I don’t want to be hit by the Duke.’

Lee Jae glanced at the King, unsure of how much he had read, but he didn’t react much.

As the King remained silent, her anger eventually turned towards the Duke.

‘What a terrible father, making his daughter fill her diary with such things.’ As Lee Jae cursed inwardly, she suddenly remembered something and called out to the King.

“Your Majesty, I told you last time that someone shot an arrow at you.”

“Yeah. So what.”

“Could that have been from the Duke’s family?”

Roderick stared at Lee Jae silently. In fact, it was something he had been pondering as well.

He just didn’t want to ask her about it.

The King didn’t want his wife to get involved in any more dangerous situations. But she seemed to be getting more and more intense every day, as if she had made up her mind about something.

He tried to hide his complicated feelings and said,

“I don’t know. Don’t you remember?”

“I don’t really have a perfect memory.”

Only then did the King nod as if he understood.

“So, that’s why you keep looking at the diary.”

“Yes.”

“If that’s the case, stop it. Can’t you tell after looking at it for months? There’s nothing much there.”

She nodded in admiration. ‘To figure that out so quickly, Your Majesty is indeed very smart.’

“Well, it’s kind of fun to read it like a code…”

A code? Lee Jae tilted her head slightly.

In that moment, a sharp intuition was about to flash through her mind as well.

But Roderick stared at her intently and said,

“Anyway, don’t worry about it anymore.”

“About what?”

Roderick gestured with his chin towards the charms hanging on the wall.

“Don’t do things like that.”

“I’m okay.”

“Okay, my foot. You’re lying through your teeth.”

“I really am.”

He felt nauseous again from the morning.

Roderick looked up at the ceiling and sighed deeply.

After calming himself, he looked back at Lee Jae.

“Do you know what time the sun rose today?”

“Nine.”

“Okay? Go look in the mirror and tell me that.”

Lee Jae’s complexion was still a little pale.

The reason he hadn’t called a doctor was because he knew for sure that it wouldn’t be of much help.

“Don’t do things like this. If it’s because of me, I’ll sleep separately from now on.”

Lee Jae paused, then quickly became sullen and lowered her eyes.

She looked very upset and clutched the blanket, then released it and said,

“I don’t want to.”

“…………”

“I want to be with you.”

“…I’m going crazy, really.”

Roderick was sure that she knew what she was doing.

She definitely knew that he couldn’t resist her pitiful expression.

You fool. Don’t you know yet?

I want to be with you more than anyone else.

“Then listen to me.”

But Lee Jae stubbornly shook her head.

“I don’t want to do that either.”

Roderick once again sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling.

I can’t tie her hands and feet to stop her from doing such things, what am I supposed to do with her?

The King felt like Lee Jae was testing his patience.

He tried to calmly persuade his wife with great patience.

“I don’t want to see you sick again.”

“…………”

“Just give in to me this once. Then I’ll do everything else you say. Please.”

“…………”

“Nothing has happened for years. Nothing will happen in the future either.”

But Lee Jae knew that it wasn’t that simple.

This year is the year when the King’s luck and the country’s fortune change. If they don’t get through this year safely, he might be in danger.

She was just a humble shaman, but she had that much insight.

“I told you I’m okay. I’m just a little tired.”

“…I told you to go look in the mirror first and then talk.”

Lee Jae jumped up from the bed.

And actually ran to the mirror.

He didn’t expect her to really go look in the mirror, but Roderick quietly watched her. He was curious to see how she would react.

She turned her head left and right, looking at her face from every angle, then turned around.

Lee Jae blinked and said,

“I’m just pretty, why?”

“Oh, really.”

She used to say she was unlucky, but she was surprisingly quick-witted.

Roderick was so dumbfounded that he touched his forehead, but Lee Jae smiled brightly.

Returning to the bed, Lee Jae took his hand.

“Your Majesty.”

“What.”

“You must like me a lot.”

“Stop it.”

Roderick wanted to cover his ears.

He sensed that the fox spirit was trying to seduce him again. It was common for him to be persuaded when he listened to his wife’s gentle words.

Roderick pulled his hand away and quickly looked away.

But once Lee Jae started, she didn’t stop.

“Right? You actually like me a lot, right?”

“I told you to stop it.”

“Oh? Is that not it? You don’t like me?”

“Hey.”

“I’m so sad.”

“…Are you even saying that right now? I told you I can’t live without you.”

Lee Jae smiled brightly, and Roderick was so dumbfounded that he just chuckled.

However, unlike her bright smile, increasingly extreme remarks continued from her mouth.

“But Your Majesty, if you can’t live without me, then please leave me alone. Otherwise, you might really become a widower.”

“What?”

“If that happens, I hope you remarry at least forty-nine days later. That number is kind of important to me.”

Roderick was silent for a moment. He was thinking, ‘What am I hearing right now?’

Realizing that he hadn’t misheard, he soon asked in a sinister voice.

“You… is that something you should be saying to your husband right now? I told you to say everything you want to say, did you think you could say something like that?”

His face began to look increasingly scary.

He was angry not only because it was absurd, but also because he was upset that she had even mentioned such a possibility.

But Lee Jae, who had intentionally brought up these words, did not waver.

She was very sorry, but she continued to speak in an infinitely calm tone.

“Your Majesty, there is a saying where I used to live.”

“…………”

“A dike can collapse even with a small hole.” [Meaning that even small problems can lead to big disasters if ignored.]

“There is also this saying. If a small spark spreads, it will burn a wide field.” [Meaning that a small problem can quickly escalate into a major catastrophe.]

“Finally, there is also this saying. Saving a finger leads to losing a palm.” [Meaning that being unwilling to make small sacrifices can lead to bigger losses.]

The King was a clear-headed person, and he quickly understood what Lee Jae was trying to say.

Each one was a story about how neglecting or mishandling small things can lead to bigger disasters.

The King was annoyed at himself for immediately understanding those words.

“If something like what happened last time happens to Your Majesty, I won’t stand by and watch. You may not understand, but that’s my karma.”

“…………”

“Right now, I can prevent it by just being a little tired, but if I’m not tired now, I might die then.”

“…What?”

“So, don’t misunderstand. I’m not doing this for Your Majesty, I’m doing it for myself.”

“…………”

“If you truly care about me, you shouldn’t stop me from doing what I’m doing.”

Roderick moved his lips several times, trying to say something.

But he eventually closed his mouth.

He couldn’t find the words to say.

Suddenly, a memory from a long time ago flashed through his mind.

Was it the day he had his first meal with the Queen?

She had brought a letter from the Duke saying that he would send people from Saga and said.

She would write that it was not allowed. She hadn’t been in the royal family for long, and it wouldn’t look good if she did that already.

At that time, the King had felt a sense of unease. It was because she didn’t blame the royal family for the reason for the refusal, but seemed to take it all on herself.

He felt indebted to her, so he thought it was just Duncan’s way of handling things.

But now that he thought about it, it wasn’t to create a debt.

It was just his wife’s way of secretly relieving the other person’s burden and wanting to take all the responsibility herself.

But you fool.

How is this for you? It’s for me.

Do I not know you? Do you really think I’d fall for those words?

Suddenly, a great resentment arose in his heart.

He had to ask her how she could threaten him with her life.

He wanted to tell her not to cleverly use his heart, which couldn’t live without her, as a weapon.

But his wife was too clever and wise.

This threat was effective.

The King couldn’t get angry, and he couldn’t beg anymore.

He just stared at Lee Jae helplessly.

In his blue eyes, unavoidable attachment and resentment dripped down.

Although she spoke calmly, Lee Jae’s heart was also aching.

She knew very well that he was constantly worried about her. She was even more sorry because she didn’t want to say this much.

Lee Jae pulled his hand and held it tightly, and Roderick quietly looked down at the small hand holding his.

In his blue eyes, tens of thousands of emotions flickered.

It was quite a long time before the King opened his mouth.

“I really wish I could lock you up somewhere.”

“…………”

“I want to tie your hands and feet.”

“…………”

“I hate you.”

Lee Jae smiled calmly at those words. She felt like she knew why the King said he hated her.

The reason was probably…

“I hate you for saying such mean things while knowing my heart.”

“…………”

“I hate you for using my heart to silence me.”

Roderick couldn’t bear the sadness and turmoil in his heart and pulled her into his arms.

“Lee Jae, I really love you. Don’t say things like dying in front of me.”

“…Okay. I’m sorry.”

“If you truly care about me, promise me that you will never do anything dangerous.”

Lee Jae nodded.

She had succeeded in persuading her husband, but she wasn’t happy at all.

God. Does sharing sadness really make it half as bad?

Or does it just make two sad people?

Her heart ached so much that she felt like crying.

But she forced a smile because she thought this big man would be even sadder if she cried.

And she stroked his back as if to comfort him.