Follow Your Heart [EN]: Chapter 89

As their dinner concluded, they strolled along the lakeside before returning to their room.

Roderick wanted to talk with Ijae a little longer, as their conversations were always a delight.

However, she seemed busier than he was these days. She lay on the bed, opening her diary once more.

“I told you to stop looking at that.”

“Just think of it as my hobby.”

Roderick still looked displeased.

“It’s not even good content. Why do you keep reading it?”

Ijae flinched and looked at him.

“……You read it all?”

“Yes.”

‘But why didn’t you say anything?’ she wondered.

“What am I supposed to say?”

Roderick no longer had any interest in Hailey Duncan’s personal affairs.

Now that he knew his wife wasn’t the little Duncan, the Duncan family meant nothing to him.

However, the King was concerned about his wife reading such gloomy diaries.

He eventually snatched the diary from Ijae’s hands and tossed it onto the bedside table.

“Stop reading it. I don’t like you looking at such depressing things.”

Ijae chuckled. She thought the King was being a bit excessive these days, but she understood his feelings.

She also felt worried and sorry whenever she saw him.

On top of that, he was cute and lovable.

Roderick laid Ijae down and gave her a pillow to rest her arm on.

It was an old habit of his to sweep back his hair when he was frustrated or embarrassed.

But he had developed a new habit.

Roderick stared at her intently before sweeping back her short, apricot-colored bangs.

Then, he gave her round forehead a peck.

“Wife, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, go ahead.”

“What does your name mean?”

She paused, then gave a bitter smile.

Although she had told him to ask freely, the King’s question felt more sensitive than she had expected.

Ijae had always thought that the King’s name wasn’t great in terms of numerology [the study of the numerical value of letters in words, names, and ideas], but it suited him very well.

But few people had a name that suited their fate as well as hers did.

As she only smiled without speaking, the King seemed to notice her discomfort.

He scratched the end of his eyebrow and asked, “Was it a difficult question?”

Ijae shook her head.

It was a name with many stories for her, but there was no reason she couldn’t tell the King.

“A different existence.”

“A different existence?”

Different Yi, to be Jae.

This name was the only legacy her parents had left her.

Judging from the name, her parents might have foreseen her future. Ijae was thinking that one of her parents might have been a fortuneteller.

“Yes, it means to exist differently.”

The King nodded.

“It’s a good name.”

“……Is it?”

She wore a subtle expression at the unexpected compliment.

But Roderick nodded several times as if it really was a good name.

“Yeah. Doesn’t it mean you’re special?”

“Since Your Majesty says so, I guess it might be?”

“What’s with that.”

Ijae smiled brightly as if she had learned something new, and Roderick gently stroked her soft cheek with the back of his hand.

In fact, there was something else he really wanted to ask.

The reason Roderick had put the diary aside wasn’t just because Hailey’s diary before her death was gloomy.

Reading the phrase ‘I don’t want to be hit’ reminded him of his wife cowering in the Duke’s residence.

He also remembered her arguing with the market street merchant, ‘She can’t even block properly yet?’

His usually gentle wife rarely controlled her emotions in front of the bear-like man and the Duke.

But was it okay to ask about this?

Roderick hesitated greatly before carefully broaching the subject.

“But Ijae.”

“Yes.”

“Um, so……”

“What is it?”

The King was unusually hesitant, and Ijae looked at him with a puzzled expression. He scratched his neck and said, “Did anyone ever…… treat you badly before? Like, with their hands……”

Ijae, who had been listening quietly, flinched noticeably. She had a very embarrassed expression.

She wasn’t hurt by such things now.

She was just embarrassed that she had shown so much of her unfortunate side.

Grandma Youngsan told me so many times not to show my pitiful side.

“How did you know that?”

“Is it true?”

“………”

“Did they?”

Roderick had, of course, asked the question with some anticipation.

But when his wife gave a response that was as good as an affirmation, he felt something dark starting to boil inside him.

“So, where is that bastard now? Huh?”

“………”

“Ijae. I asked you a question. Aren’t you going to answer your husband?”

“Your Majesty, don’t worry about it. It’s all in the past. It was nothing.”

“How is this nothing!”

The King, who had been trying to coax her into answering, suddenly exploded.

Ijae flinched at his sudden outburst. Ah, why are you suddenly so angry?

“Your Majesty, don’t be so angry. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me! What did you do wrong?”

The voice that started with a roar gradually died down.

Because Ijae was staring at him with wide eyes as if she was very surprised.

Roderick, who briefly covered his face, roughly washed his face with his hands.

“Sorry. I’m not angry at you. Something is rising up inside me…… I’m sorry.”

But Roderick couldn’t calm down, so he turned away from her for a moment.

He felt like his hands were shaking because he was so angry.

Why did such a thing happen to my fox?

You should have lived seeing only happy things before coming to me.

“Sorry for raising my voice. So why do you apologize for no reason? I just snapped for a moment.”

“Did you? Then instead of ‘I’m sorry’…… ‘Thank you’?”

“I’m not in the mood for jokes.”

“I’m not joking either. Anyway, thank you for getting angry on my behalf. You must really like me a lot.”

Roderick was dumbfounded and looked at her.

Seeing his wife smiling, he could only sigh.

What am I going to do with Ijae?

“Don’t smile while talking about this. Your husband feels like his heart is tearing apart.”

“………”

“Just swear. Don’t forgive such a terrible bastard on your own.”

Then Ijae’s smile deepened even more.

Roderick ended up frowning.

He felt heartbroken and feverish, but she seemed completely fine.

She was smiling like someone who had transcended worldly affairs.

But after thinking about it carefully, Ijae shook her head.

The King was having a big misunderstanding right now.

“Your Majesty is seeing me wrong.”

“Me? What?”

Ijae chuckled.

“Your Majesty, I don’t really like talking about these things.”

“Uh, do it.”

“Yes, then I’ll tell you honestly, only to Your Majesty.”

“………”

“Your Majesty, I have never forgiven those people.”

“Them? Those people? Damn it.”

As Roderick raised one eyebrow, Ijae flinched and grabbed his hand.

The King felt something boiling inside him once again, but he held back to avoid interrupting her.

As he nodded, Ijae also nodded and continued speaking.

“Such forgiveness is for God to do. I’ve just decided not to pay attention to it. I’m not a saint.”

The victim didn’t have to forgive the perpetrator.

No one could force that.

You don’t become a good person just by forgiving, and you don’t become a cruel person by not forgiving. Judgment is for the law and God to do.

So Ijae had no intention of understanding or forgiving the people who threw stones for no reason.

“When we went to the river before.”

“Yeah.”

“I actually started to like Your Majesty a lot then. That day, Your Majesty told me to be lenient with myself too. Do you remember?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess I liked hearing that. I’m childish, right?”

But after hearing that, she thought of someone she wanted to reconcile with and forgive. She also thought she could do it.

“Your Majesty, the person I want to forgive isn’t those people. It’s someone else.”

The only person she wanted to forgive, and could forgive, was one person.

“Who is it?”

“Me.”

“My foolish self, who carelessly dismissed my present because my past wasn’t good.”

Roderick felt like all the strength was draining from his body.

He was speechless, and Ijae smiled at such a King.

“Are you disappointed in me?”

“Why would I be?”

“Because I’m not as good a person as you thought.”

She asked jokingly, but Roderick didn’t laugh. He just sighed deeply, as if the ground was sinking.

“Don’t turn people inside out like that when you obviously know it’s not true. It’s a bad habit.”

Ijae giggled.

“Then shall I tell you how childish I really am?”

“Do it if you want.”

“It’s comforting that Your Majesty gets angry on my behalf.”

Roderick finally smiled a little. It was actually closer to a dumbfounded laugh.

He shook his head and said.

“The scale of childishness is very different from mine. Wife, what’s really childish is this.”

The King reached out and grabbed the diary on the bedside table.

And he threw it into a corner of the room.

“This is forbidden.”

“……Huh? Why?”

“From now on, only look at good things. Read history books instead.”

“Your Majesty always just tells me not to do things.”

Ijae was worried about someone else’s diary being thrown into a corner, so she tried to get up.

But Roderick pressed her forehead with his index finger.

“Will something terrible happen if you pick it up tomorrow? Should I pick it up again?”

“………”

“But why did you borrow such a book when you can’t even read it?”

“………”

“Is this perhaps a silent protest asking me to read it for you?”

He was talking about the history book she had borrowed.

It was written in characters that only royalty could read.

But the King didn’t know that she had a high-performance reader that could read it. It was also a very feisty and cute reader.

But Ijae decided to keep that fact to herself for today.

It wasn’t because she wanted to deceive him.

Strangely, the King seemed to be full of anticipation right now.

Is that really so? She carefully asked, pondering.

“If I ask you to read it, will you read it for me?”

Roderick nodded immediately as if he had been waiting for those words.

“Of course. I’ll read it until you snore.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You borrowed it a few days ago, and I was waiting for you to ask me to read it.”

Ijae shrugged and laughed.

She unexpectedly gained another reader.

This time, it was a very handsome and strong reader.

She wondered if it was okay to treat the king of a country for such a purpose.

But she tried to rationalize herself, thinking it would be okay since the King himself wanted it.