George Bush’S Great America [EN]: Chapter 23

< Episode 22 >

What happens after a surface-to-surface missile obliterates a section of a city? I mean, when it’s fired indiscriminately, with no regard for civilian lives.

An empty void remains. The once-imposing steel and concrete structures, erected through corruption and wrongdoing, crumble like butter before the ultimate destructive power of humanity, as if a reckoning has arrived. Saddam Hussein, perhaps teetering on the edge of sanity, didn’t target the entire city, but several densely populated districts were reduced to rubble, reminiscent of the Stone Age. Shouldn’t there be bodies left? Or were they vaporized, blown away by the blast?

“Damn it!”

In any case, Hoshyang was fortunate. He was momentarily outside the range of Saddam Hussein’s wrath, guiding another group of people into the city.

“That crazy son of a bitch.”

In the end, Hoshyang was right. Ironically, he was ultimately proven correct. And simultaneously wrong. He never imagined that the rifles he had secretly distributed would be rendered useless before anyone could even fire a shot.

As tanks rolled forward, unleashing heavy machine-gun fire, innocent civilians were cut down in droves. There was no way a ragtag group of civilians, barely trained in the use of weapons, could stand against elite soldiers who lived and breathed combat.

“Die! You infidel bastards!”

The disparity between civilians firing wildly and war machines methodically executing their objectives was too vast to be overcome by mere resentment or curses.

“Seven.”

But not all civilians were the same. With each subtle movement of the old soldier’s finger, another enemy fell. The seasoned veterans and middle-aged men who had fought as Mujahideen [Islamic guerrilla fighters] in Afghanistan displayed their honed skills without reservation. They moved stealthily through the city, and thanks to them, a significant number of protesters survived. In fact, the protesters began to coalesce around these Mujahideen veterans.

At this point, it’s almost inaccurate to call them protesters. Let’s call them revolutionaries.

The tracks of tanks were disabled by improvised explosive devices (IEDs), and soldiers and officers, disoriented by the altered terrain and the disruption of their mission, were felled by precise shots to the head. The snipers were the first to be eliminated, taken out by counter-snipers.

“It’s quite different from the old days.”

The enemy’s scopes used to be more conspicuous. The muzzle flash was also more pronounced. It seemed that new technology had been implemented. But what good is better equipment? The people using it are still the same.

As soon as a bullet whizzed by, everyone instinctively sought cover. Knowing this, the sniper team quickly eliminated them. However, the Republican Guard wasn’t stupid either. When these sniper nests were identified, they called in tanks or initiated artillery or aerial bombardments. That’s how the old soldiers gradually dwindled in number.

Hoshyang, who had luckily commandeered a military vehicle and was fleeing the city, monitored the situation through the military radio. Having served as a signalman in the Iraqi army, he was proficient in its use. He surmised that the sniper team had been hit, and he mixed a sigh with a curse, acknowledging that the guns he had distributed hadn’t been entirely in vain.

In this Iraq, military vehicles were the only reliable mode of transportation. Similarly, the military radio was the only source of accurate information. He wondered if there was a code, but he found it on the body of the signalman.

In any case, it was a stroke of luck. The civilian news media, like the radio, was spewing nonsense about Allah personally punishing those who opposed Allah and Saddam Hussein’s rule.

“My God. What kind of madman would do this to his own capital?”

Good heavens, how could they do such a thing! Are you really human! If you are children of men, how can you do this! If you are truly followers of Allah who follow the Koran, how can you do this! Yes, those bastards are not even human!

“You seeds of the devil! Allah will not leave you unpunished!”

Isn’t it truly astonishing? Both the Republican Guard and the Iraqi Revolutionary Army were thinking the same thing.

Everyone was killing each other in the name of Allah. The only difference was that for the Republican Guard, Saddam Hussein was their leader, appointed by Allah, and for the revolutionaries, Saddam Hussein was a devil who had emerged from the depths of hell while Allah was momentarily absent.

Allah. If Allah truly exists, then Saddam Hussein must be punished.

“Allah! Answer me!”

Do you truly exist?

If you exist, take that devil to the afterlife right now!

「It’s a disaster! His Excellency the President has been assassinated! Explosions are occurring all over the Presidential Palace! The units near the Presidential Palace…!」

And then it actually happened.

“What?”

At first, he suspected that he had misinterpreted the code, but upon reflection, it wasn’t even spoken in code. It was a voice almost drowned out by the explosions and gunfire, but he thought that maybe a rebellion had broken out inside.

“Hoshyang, why did you doubt Allah?”

Allah was there! But how on earth did Saddam die? Who cares. Isn’t the fact that he’s dead the important thing?

A large group appeared in front of the military vehicle Hoshyang was driving. They were armed with proper assault rifles and anti-tank weapons, and they were riding in armored vehicles and technicals [civilian vehicles modified for military use]. There were even tanks, of various types and eras. From old communist bloc models to the latest Western tanks, there were so many that at first, he mistook them for a multinational force. Their commonality was that none of them were using lights, seemingly to avoid revealing their location.

Very unfortunately, this information was lost on Hoshyang, who was consumed by religious fervor.

“Allah is great! Allah is truly there!”

Hoshyang, completely distracted by the military radio that seemed to have saved him, simply stepped on the accelerator. The military vehicle was already directly in their line of fire. So, it was perhaps only natural that fire erupted from their tanks.

“Allahu Akbar! [God is the greatest!]”

“Allahu Akbar!!!”

Hoshyang’s heart and body drew closer to Allah.

Saddam Hussein. A competent politician in his youth.

Iraq, which had collapsed from within, was quickly occupied by Al-Qaeda, and Al-Qaeda, observing the situation of the neighboring Taliban, issued a statement to the Western world.

“The Middle East will take care of itself, so the Western world should not interfere. Otherwise, you will experience ‘a very bitter taste.’”

* * *

“My dear citizens of the United States, Europe is ignoring us and acting independently. I want to see how well they fare. Popcorn and cola. And get plenty of chicken wings and watch those arrogant bastards collapse. Hahaha!!!”

“Mr. President. If you phrase it like that, you won’t be able to manage the fallout.”

“Isn’t speaking indirectly your specialty? From now on, this phrase is my daughter going out to get married! Think about it and decorate it well!”

I was in charge of being direct. To be exact, George W. Bush was the type who enjoyed speaking indirectly, but that’s what George and Bush do, and I’m me. George should destroy the outside, but why does he keep destroying the inside?

Well, apart from that, when I think about why George Bush failed, it’s quite funny.

George Walker Bush. How could he have ruined the country so badly and still be re-elected? Why did Americans vote for Bush? What method did he use to succeed in re-election that even his father couldn’t achieve!

That was integrity. Isn’t it really mysterious? How is it that just being incorruptible makes you a dictator, the head of a terrorist organization, and now even the President of the United States? Aren’t all the incorruptible leaders in this world actually morons?

It may be a somewhat irreverent thought, but integrity is a virtue of politicians. Shouldn’t there be integrity so that whatever you do, you can handle things without selfishness? But that’s a virtue, not an ability. I’m not advocating corruption. I’m just emphasizing that the ‘integrity = competence’ formula doesn’t hold.

So, about that George Bush. George Bush was terribly good at being incorruptible. There were really no incidents of women problems or assault on subordinates that politicians always have one or two of, or rather, there were none at all. If other people who pride themselves on being incorruptible have well-laundered white clothes, George Bush was as clean and sophisticated as a white shirt that had just come out of the factory, even though he had been rolling around in the field for decades. It’s a really contradictory expression, but that’s how it was in reality.

Well, Bush was human, so he seems to have had quite a bit of fun doing drugs and drinking when he was young, but except for a traffic accident that didn’t cause any casualties, it was enough to be seen as cute and passed over.

Above all, after marrying his wife, all of his troublemaking lifestyle was improved. He was such a heavy drinker that he drank several bottles a day, but he abstained from alcohol for his wife and lived a celibate life except for food. Well, in fact, it was difficult to live a celibate life related to food in the land of abundance, America, but a troublemaking rascal growing into a decent human being. Isn’t that everyone’s favorite story?

Human victory was a word that existed for George Bush.

The point was that this man was trusted by the people because he was ‘kind and friendly.’

“European bastards, even if they cry and beg to be saved in the Middle East later, there’s no way! Especially those Limeys [British] who have been ignoring us the most! They blocked all the Middle East information as if they didn’t have any! Ah, was that too much? Hahaha!!!”

Well, the current me is ten million light years away from that. Above all, I’ve never driven under the influence. Yeah, actually, I didn’t have a car. I’d rather eat more gukbap [Korean rice soup] with the money I’d use to buy a car. Why would I buy a car?

“Then we’ll take care of refining the statement and send it to you.”

Of course, the feelings of the aides watching such George Bush would be known without saying a word.

* * *

“What is this sound?”

Recently, it seemed like this was all I said whenever information came in.

“Al-Qaeda has occupied Iraq.”

“What?”

Because each piece of information was like a jewel, so earth-shattering that I had to dig my ears and listen again to see what the hell it was.

“So. Are you saying that Iraq has been occupied by terrorists?”

“Yes. That’s right.”

Doesn’t this immediately remind you of something? Afghanistan and the Taliban. The Taliban were terrorists and Afghanistan was a relatively decent country. This time, Afghanistan was Iraq and the Taliban became Al-Qaeda.

However, Afghanistan was liberated by the US military under the name of freedom and was rapidly growing under the leadership of the United States. Whatever the reality, that’s how it looked to them. In other words, ‘Afghanistan is a puppet state of the United States.’ That fact was important.

Well, from the perspective of the Afghan government, which had to do whatever the United States told them to do, it wasn’t entirely wrong.

“Let’s issue a statement. Tell them to get out immediately. Since the subject is terrorists, it’s okay to send it out as is. No! Refine it even more strongly and send it out!”

In this case, there was no way not to intervene in the Middle East. I had to gather the army and charge right away. The handful of pro-democracy supporters in the Middle East might be wiped out.

“But, I hope our position has been well communicated to the United States?”

“It has, but I’m not sure if they’ll really listen quietly.”

“We have to make them listen.”

But how?

“Um, well, I guess if I just told them not to come in a coercive way, it would be a bit much. Then what if we gave them something?”

But what can Europe give? Is there anything they can give?

“Tell them to increase the introduction of American weapons a little more. Anyway, they must have fired quite a few Tomahawk missiles in the last Afghan war, so the weapons factories must be running at full speed, right?”

“I’ll do that for now. Frankly, I don’t think it’s enough at all.”

The United States still had too much capacity to project power. Just look at Afghanistan, they conquered it in an instant and left. Except for the fact that the durability of the equipment used was a bit worn out and the missile inventory was reduced, there was no visible loss in terms of numbers.

“If I ask them directly, they’re bound to bring something ridiculous.”

In addition, for the European integrated army that may be created in the future, equipment from outside Europe had to be excluded as much as possible.

“Let’s poke them first. If it’s really not enough, we can just give them the reconstruction project in Iraq or the rights.”

If we do this much, they won’t be dissatisfied.

The United States, you see.

“Hmm.”

So. Russia’s position.

‘Wow, are those bastards really doing that?’

“Iraq is?”

Maybe if Vladimir Putin was a more direct person, he would have said something like this.

“They’re morons, these guys.”

Oh, that’s direct.