George Bush’S Great America [EN]: Chapter 42

< Episode 41 >

‘Heh, this old woman?’

So, accepting that deal here meant truly putting an end to nuclear weapons development as per the agreement. Of course, they could ignore it and continue research after completion, but would they just stand by and watch? That would spell the end of the North Korean regime.

However, refusing it here would be regarded as an intention to develop nuclear weapons, and he would witness the Mansudae Assembly Hall going up in flames. Though bombers wouldn’t be taking off from aircraft carrier fleets tomorrow.

“How about it? 2003, 2004 at the latest.”

Correction. They might be taking off today, not tomorrow.

‘That crazy bitch!’

There were two options, but the process was different and the result was the same.

“Wouldn’t there be many problems if we made it in just two or three years? If we rush the construction period, the laborers will be in great danger.”

For Kim Jong-il to be worrying about American workers of all people! Bush forcefully suppressed the laughter that was about to burst out as soon as he heard this.

“I’m also concerned about shoddy construction.”

Shoddy construction! This dealt a double blow to Bush’s laughter, which was already being held back to the limit. He had deliberately set a short deadline to see how far they would accept, but now shoddy construction was being mentioned! Even if they had accepted it as is, it wouldn’t have mattered. Because by then, they would have already discarded all ‘nuclear development equipment and materials’.

And decisively, would only civilian laborers really go? There would have to be people to protect them. So, who would those people be?

“Hahaha! To think you care so deeply about the people, then how about 2005?”

In his heart, he wanted to laugh so hard he’d gasp for breath, but he disguised his explosive laughter as a hearty chuckle.

Kim Jong-il had to spout nonsense he didn’t even mean, just to get away from this topic. If it were any other president, he would have just gotten angry, but if he really got angry, he doubted he would be able to leave Panmunjom [the Joint Security Area between North and South Korea] safely. Of course, as everyone knows, there’s no such thing as assassinating the other party during a meeting. Of course, this was all part of ‘common sense’.

The problem was that, as Kim Jong-il immediately recognized, George Bush lacked that ‘common sense’ that should have been there. If there was such a thing as common sense in that head of his, he wouldn’t have brought fighter jets and aircraft carrier fleets to a meeting.

He himself had lived hearing that he was quite the madman, sending people to the afterlife instead of re-education camps when he was in a bad mood, but there were levels to madness. He wasn’t in that recklessly wild category. Still, wasn’t North Korea top-notch when it came to reading the room in international diplomacy? They might act recklessly domestically, but had they ever acted recklessly in diplomacy?

If you grabbed a random passerby and asked who was the bigger madman, they’d say Kim. At least what came out of Bush’s mouth was peace. Of course, Kim Jong-il knew this too, but that was peace for the United States and South Korea, not peace for the North Korean regime!

Unexpectedly, President Kim Ji-hoon, who was next to him, was racking his brain without saying a word. Things had unfolded so quickly in just one day that his head was very complicated, but wasn’t overcoming such things what a president was for? However, no matter how much he racked his brain, the answer was always the same.

‘This is an opportunity!’

There was almost nothing South Korea could lose. If the light-water reactor project proceeded as is, American or Korean capital would flow in. Once capital started flowing, it would soon collapse like the Soviet Union.

However, this condition always included the nuclear issue that President Kim Ji-hoon was agonizing over. Bush’s method was somewhat extreme, but this way, North Korea’s nuclear experiments would certainly only be seen in history textbooks. The International Atomic Energy Agency would undoubtedly be going in and out of North Korea periodically, and perhaps….

‘U.S. troops stationed in North Korea might be created!’

Moreover, because the theory of North Korea’s collapse was still dominant in this era, most North Korean experts and ordinary people were thinking similarly to President Kim Ji-hoon.

“Our Republic of Korea enthusiastically supports this project.”

However, separately from this, Kim Ji-hoon completely readjusted the profile file of Bush that he had put in his head. And strangely, this completely matched the image of George Bush that Kim Jong-il was thinking of.

‘A psychopath who beats people up while smiling!’

“Now, decide quickly.”

How do you want to die?

* * *

“Congratulations on your new life, honey. How do you feel?”

“Amazing.”

Is this how Jesus felt when he was resurrected in three days? Only his heart had changed, but everything that reached Dick Cheney’s eyes looked new. People often say, ‘Keep your heart hot and your head cold,’ but Dick Cheney always ended up with ‘Keep your heart cold and your head cold, and that’s how you go,’ which had been a hindrance to his work.

Everyone from his acquaintances to his family had tried to stop him from getting this heart transplant, but Dick Cheney insisted on changing his heart. The only one who understood his burning ambition was his beloved wife, who was next to him now. She was the only person he could trust forever.

Of course, he knew everyone was saying it out of concern for Cheney. It was already a dangerous heart surgery, and combined with his old age of 60, it was even more dangerous. But who knew if solving it before he got even older would be a divine move?

‘Not bad.’

As the anesthesia gradually wore off, it felt like he was on fire, so he would have to rest for a while, but once he got better, he would no longer suddenly collapse due to his heart, and his path forward would not crumble. He had fired that unfaithful worker who went on strike all the time.

However, if he had a small wish, it would be to eat real food as soon as possible instead of the hospital food that was coming out. Not the Italian pasta dishes he ate at fancy restaurants, but the American-style spaghetti his wife made at home. It was unexpected, but he liked his wife’s spaghetti the most.

‘It would be nice to have wine or a thick steak too.’

American hospital food had all sorts of things. Since Dick Cheney was a VIP, he didn’t get hamburgers or pasta that tasted like instant sauce, but if he had to choose between a high-end steak and an omelet with steak sauce right now, wouldn’t he naturally choose a juicy steak?

“Turn on the TV.”

He usually read the newspaper, but he didn’t have the strength to hold and read it yet. Even moving a little caused a pain that felt like he was going to faint from his chest. He felt like he couldn’t even get up if someone put a gun to his head and yelled at him to get up right now. This was still the effect of the anesthesia, unbelievable!

“My chest feels like it’s burning.”

Cheney usually only said what was really necessary, like a monk practicing silent meditation, but he didn’t need to do that in front of his partner.

“Should I call a nurse?”

Dick stopped Lynne Cheney from putting her finger on the nurse call button.

“Just call our kids.”

“Of course. They’re all coming.”

It was then that news about North Korea started to come out. Dick Cheney was well aware that Bush had flown to Korea in a fighter jet. The fact that he had gone in a fighter jet was absurd, but it was something Cheney liked.

‘I’ll just listen to that and go to sleep.’

Most people who have undergone major surgery are intoxicated with medication. It might not be the case, but at least Dick Cheney was prescribed that way. In fact, Dick Cheney was still close to being half-awake.

If you’re the president of a superpower, shouldn’t you do that much when you go to another country? Or not. However, Cheney, who was one of the best in the world when it came to recklessness, could only laugh at Bush’s visit in a fighter jet.

Anyway, he was just frustrated because he didn’t know what he would do after that visit. In fact, if he had heard that sound a little earlier, he would have postponed the surgery. It’s not like hearts grow out of the ground at will, and it’s even harder to find a heart that fits, so it was closer to the schedule being set than him setting the schedule.

「-He said this. Let’s watch it directly.」

‘That stubborn man said that. I’m really curious.’

He was ignoring the running mate he had begged to sit next to him and proceeding with everything, which was concerning, but when he heard that his aide had gone with him, he was relieved. He was worried because he was the owner of unpredictable actions, but he wouldn’t drop a nuke on North Korea right now.

Of course, Dick Cheney wanted to permanently deploy about two aircraft carrier fleets, even if he didn’t use nukes. If not, he would just ignore it and live his life. The North Korean kids always shout for communizing the Korean Peninsula, but when you actually say, ‘Shall we have a war?’, they get scared and shrink back. Just look at 9/11, isn’t the answer already there?

「If North Korea has the will, I will have a meeting at Panmunjom tomorrow.」

“What?”

「In response, Chairman Kim Jong-il has decided to hold a meeting at Panmunjom.」

Dick Cheney, who said he wouldn’t get up even if someone put a gun to his head, jumped up from his seat.

“Ugh! Ugh!”

Of course, he immediately lay back down as if collapsing from the pain surging from his chest. Thanks to that, the sleep that was coming washed away.

“Cough! Cough! Hahaha!”

His chest hurt every time he laughed, so he couldn’t tell if what was coming out of his mouth was a scream or laughter, but who cared!

He can do it. He can do anything.

“Phone, get me the phone!”

The benefits that can be obtained with just that one word! How much benefit is it! What can be said? What can be obtained? The North Korean issue could be resolved in this Bush administration! Or, by finding fault, he might really be able to wage war. He could put the lid on the musty war that he couldn’t finish in 1950!

Dick Cheney didn’t think he was a warmonger, but he thought it was right to resolve things with force if they could be resolved with force. In all things, a solid punch is always more certain than a hundred flashy words.

Besides, there are three aircraft carrier fleets, aren’t there? Wasn’t one of the basic conditions for a preemptive strike against North Korea, created during the Clinton administration, three aircraft carrier fleets? Of course, the Korean Peninsula economy and the world economy would fluctuate, but that would only be temporary. Time could solve everything. If things got bad, he could just give some aid to the Korean Peninsula. He had never seen anyone complain about getting money.

But, isn’t that a warmonger? He says he’s not. If you don’t want to drink radioactive cola in the middle of the night and become a mutant with three arms, you should know he’s not!

“Ugh!”

“Honey! Snap out of it! Honey!”

The problem was that he was so excited that his newly attached heart was moving with the attitude of a passionate and ambitious new intern, causing blood to flow from the surgical site. With his body already weakened by the surgery, blood was leaking out, and he was really being pushed to his limit.

“Huff. Huff. Phone. The phone….”

‘Not the nurse call, the phone!’

Dick Cheney finally fainted.

To sum up what he was trying to tell the president in one word, it was, ‘Never war again! Never war again!’