In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 24

A small pub nestled in Sangam Food Alley.

Sizzle-

Okonomiyaki [a Japanese savory pancake containing a variety of ingredients] was cooking on the iron griddle.

“Cheers!”

I clinked glasses with Min-young unnie [older sister or close female friend in Korean].

It was Fresh Dew [a brand of soju, a Korean distilled beverage].

“Kyaa—our Sae-na. You even landed your first commercial. I’m so proud, huh? Let’s walk only on flower paths!” [a Korean idiom meaning to have a life full of happiness and success]

“Ah, it’s all thanks to you, unnie. We’re just getting started. A fast track to success! A fast track to fame!”

“Alright, let’s go!”

Once again, clink—we clinked glasses and poured the dew into our mouths.

“Keu—when did you come up with that idea from earlier?”

“Huh? Ah… just now. It just happened…”

At my words, Min-young unnie chuckled.

“We ended up filming two versions of the commercial without even expecting it, a double! You were really looking forward to the commercial while pretending not to, weren’t you? Huh? You showed it a lot. Huh?”

I shook my head insincerely at those words.

“Look at you, look at you.”

After teasing me for a bit, unnie naturally brought up work talk on the table this time.

“Did you see that got picked up this time?”

“Yes, yes.”

The moment I nodded absentmindedly, I suddenly sobered up.

I had seen it before, right?

20 years ago.

I hadn’t seen it in this life yet.

Come to think of it…

What movies came out around this time?

There might be variables I don’t know about.

Suddenly, something came to mind.

“Ssa-jang-nim [term of address for a boss or owner], please give us one more bottle!”

I stopped unnie from ordering another bottle.

“Ah, unnie, wait a minute. Not ssa-jang-nim. I’ll cancel it!”

Then, Min-young unnie looked at me with a face that said I was cutting her off.

“What? You’re not drinking more?”

“I have somewhere to go soon.”

“Where? At this hour?”

“To see a movie!”

“Hey, you’re a celebrity. If you go with a guy, you’ll get caught by paparazzi!”

* * *

A dark theater.

The lights came on as the end credits rolled.

I stretched.

I reached out and rummaged through the empty buttered squid box.

I ate it all while watching two movies in a row.

The moment I thought I should watch some Korean movies, I spontaneously came to ‘Cinema All Night – Korean Movie Special.’

It felt new to be here after a whole 20 years.

Besides, this place is….

“It’s scheduled to disappear soon. It feels even more familiar.”

I stretched my legs while looking around the small and cozy movie theater.

I was also happy to see the young faces of my fellow actors on the screen during their rookie days.

Everyone looked so young and full of life.

Actresses hate their pre-surgery appearances to death, but now that I see it, they were so pretty.

The unique atmosphere of the 2010s movies was so good too.

I took a sip of coffee and turned a page in my notebook.

It was to write down what I felt after watching the movie just now.

It was like a study notebook.

‘Sorrow 哀愁 [Aishuu, Japanese term for sorrow or sadness]. A melodrama about infidelity.’

‘Sung Jung-yeon’s unconventional acting. She plays a purity and childlike innocence that is rarely found in infidelity melodramas. This work established her as a unique mask in Chungmuro [the Korean equivalent of Hollywood].’

‘Sung Jung-yeon’s next work: Michelin Romance Diary’

This work was also a big issue.

After this, she completely blew up with a thriller, a romance, and a romance fantasy drama.

I have to keep it in mind.

I underlined it.

The name of the actress written in the notebook stood out particularly clearly.

In my past life, they seemed like people living in another world.

In fact, it hasn’t changed that much now either.

The leading actresses of two of the three movies I’m going to watch today are at the same rookie level as me, but they always felt like stars in the sky to me.

Because I personally experienced in my past life what path this person took differently from me, how they walked, and how famous they became.

I felt the same feeling again when I saw my shining colleagues on the awards ceremony stage.

A feeling I had forgotten for a long time.

Was it because of the coffee? My mouth tasted bitter.

“No. In this life, I will definitely.”

I clenched the pen I was holding and made a resolution.

I want to shine like them.

I want to stand in the same place.

I want to stand shoulder to shoulder equally.

What I really wanted to be was not so much a superstar as a ten-million actor [an actor whose movie attracts over 10 million viewers, a mark of huge success].

Come to think of it, that’s the same thing.

Anyway, actress Han Sae-na.

An actress you can trust just by her name.

I want to become that kind of person.

I can still dream.

I also wrote this in my notebook in a new way.

Actually, it’s hard, but unlike my previous life, I was feeling that things were gradually working out as I wanted.

And the reason is.

In my previous life, I blamed Yoo Ji-an for not working out, but I realized that my acting was not convincing.

I’m much different now that I’m putting more effort into acting than in my previous life.

My acting was gradually taking me out into the world.

The reason for all the changes I was experiencing was in acting.

I decided never to forget this fact.

At that time, the lights went out again and the third movie started.

My heart was pounding.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the same movie theater.

Behind Han Sae-na diagonally, a gaze watching her intently shone faintly.

It was a gaze that had been persistently watching her, from the moment he saw Han Sae-na wearing a hat in the movie theater to the way she was writing something in her notebook.

The owner of the gaze was also wearing a hat pulled down low.

‘She’s working hard as the rumors say. A young actress. Coming all the way here to study.’

And soon, the movie title appeared on the screen.

Both Han Sae-na and the owner of the gaze began to concentrate on the movie and fell into it.

* * *

Inside a somewhat chilly office.

Huaaam-

I was so sleepy after watching movies all night.

I kept looking at my notebook while sipping on a life-saving Americano [Americano coffee].

The door opened and Min-young unnie appeared.

“Good morning-. What are you looking at so intently?”

Unnie approached with a sandwich.

I slammed the notebook shut and put it in my handbag, lest she see it.

“What is it, what is it?”

Min-young unnie mumbled and leaned her face in as if she was about to go into my handbag.

“Ah, no.”

Because this contains the next works of other actors that have not yet been released to the world.

It would be a disaster if she found out.

Unnie took out a sandwich from the shopping bag she was holding.

“Yes, ham and cheese.”

As I bit and chewed, unnie went and sat at the opposite table.

“You don’t seem to gain weight compared to what you eat.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you eat quite well.”

“Um, now that I hear it, I think so.”

“Uh-huh, haven’t you ever heard that you’re annoying?”

I answered, “No,” and smiled as annoyingly as possible.

“Do you carry a notebook around and write down your work notes?”

“Ah, yes. While watching movies. What should I do for my next work? What do I want to do? Things like that?”

“You’re fast as expected.”

“Yes?”

I put the ham that had fallen on the table back into my mouth.

“Do you have any works in mind?”

Hmm…

There are a few works that I remember, but I couldn’t know when they would start production.

“Well, I think I’ll have to see the scripts that come in. Unnie, don’t I have any works that are contacting me yet?”

“Yeah, I was going to talk about that anyway.”

Unnie poured out a huge pile of papers from another shopping bag.

“…?”

“Scripts. Read them.”

I almost choked on my sandwich.

At that time, unnie walked to the office desk and took out another huge pile of documents from the drawer.

“…?”

“Those are the contact scripts. These are the scripts circulating in the industry. I’ve scraped together everything I could get.”

My mouth dropped open.

Have I ever seen this much script in my life?

“Wow….”

Unnie put the shopping bag full of sandwiches down in front of me.

“Eat all of this while you read.”

“Am I… being imprisoned?”

“Pick out the works you want to do and give them to me.”

Then unnie stared at me intently.

It was the look in her eyes from that day we first met.

A look that said she was curious about who I was.

“I want to see what kind of work actress Han Sae-na chooses.”

* * *

How many hours had passed?

“Awoo-”

Inside the empty office, I stretched with my whole body feeling stiff.

Ha, I read like crazy, but this is all I’ve managed to do so far.

After putting aside the scripts I had read, it seemed like I had barely finished about a fifth of them.

A slight sigh escaped my lips.

I took a break for a moment and muttered to myself as I looked out the window, which was getting darker.

“Still, it really feels new.”

In the past, AK would throw me scripts and tell me to choose from a few works that had been filtered out.

It was also an obvious soap opera, and the roles I would play were always the same.

This was the first time in my acting career that I had such a wide range of choices.

“But this unnie… is so cruel.”

Min-young unnie really seemed to be testing me openly, handing me only the scripts without the writers’ names.

So that I couldn’t choose by looking at any titles or namings.

‘I want to see what kind of work actress Han Sae-na chooses.’

Those words from earlier lingered in my head.

I was also curious.

What kind of work I would choose.

I sat up straight again and picked up a new script.

‘Now some things I know are coming out.’

As I read a few pages, scenes that I had actually seen as dramas in my previous life unfolded in my head.

Although Min-young unnie didn’t tell me the writer’s name, the investment company, which broadcasting station the story was being discussed for, the casting actors, or anything else, she couldn’t block my memories.

However, I wasn’t going to choose a work based solely on my memories.

This work was definitely a work that would guarantee viewership if I won the role.

“But this work is…”

I knew for sure that it would be organized and that it would be successful.

“It doesn’t appeal to me.”

I put down the script.

The role I could play in this work was, at best, a passive and submissive tragic heroine.

I picked up the next script.

“Hmm… it’s a historical drama.”

As I opened the proposal, something caught my eye.

“A woman disguised as a man?”

There were occasionally romantic comedy historical dramas with women disguised as men.

It was a subject that had a small boom a few years ago, but it had now subsided.

More than that, was there ever a work that was so openly a close aide to the king…?

When I read the female lead’s character description, she was a person who disguised herself as a man and was active in the political world.

As if possessed, I picked up the script.

Since the woman disguised as a man historical drama was a few years ago, the timing was good, and it had a point of differentiation from other works with its bold entry into the political world.

Wait, before that.

I was too impatient to read the script slowly from the beginning.

I put down the script and picked up the bundle of papers with the overall plot of the play written on it.

I was very curious about the development of the story.

The contents written on about twenty pages were as follows.

The female lead, who hid her family history and passed the civil service examination disguised as a man, enters the palace.

Romance blooms between the female lead, who becomes a courtier, and the king, with a precarious tension…

The king, who keeps getting fluttered by the male courtier, feels confused every day.

Meanwhile, the female lead secretly sneaks into the Seungjeongwon [Royal Secretariat] to find records of her parents who were framed for treason and died…

The Queen Dowager, who tries to reign over the king, kills the king’s close aides and tries to reveal the identity of the female lead, whom the king cherishes the most.

Then, the female lead chooses to disappear on her own and hands the king a document containing all the secrets before leaving.

Finally, the king, who had been wavering, receives the letter and awakens, leading to the purge of the Queen Dowager’s faction.

In that way, he establishes himself as a true king and wins love.

Hmm.

A story of a proactive female lead and a growing male lead that seems to overturn the traditional role of a woman disguised as a man historical drama.

It’s fresh, the scene composition is perfect, and there’s even a sweet and bloody romance.

Everything is…

“Interesting.”

I then picked up the script and started reading it.

The script was out up to episode 6.

I read through the script in one breath.

It was a shame that I couldn’t read up to the back.

After reading to the last line, I slammed the script shut.

It’s so interesting…?

Even though I only read up to episode 6, the immersion was no joke.

Besides, the most favorite thing about this script is.

“The female lead is so charming….”

I muttered to myself as if possessed by a ghost.

Suddenly, my heart pounded.

My head felt dizzy, but my mind became clear again.

This instinctive feeling was really long time no see [long time no see is kept as is, as it is a common phrase].

The feeling I get when I find a role I want to play.

I looked over the script again and pondered.

I was so greedy for the female lead role.

The character was so deep that it couldn’t be compared to the one-dimensional villains I had played in my past life.

It felt like I had collected the characteristics of the roles I wanted to play and created a complete version, this female lead.

Suddenly, I was thirsty.

I reached for the cup I had placed next to me.

In my previous life, even if I had this feeling, it was useless.

Because there was no role that I could hold in my own hands.

Rather, this feeling only brought me helplessness and frustration.

‘Sae-na, do you think you’re even capable of playing this kind of role?’

‘You need to distinguish between what you want to do and what you’re good at. You know that’s basic, right?’

The words of the people around me that I had heard countless times lingered in my ears.

The appearance of the same rookie actress I had seen at the movie theater also came to mind.

A distant star-like existence to me.

Now I really had to walk a different path.

I strongly felt that I wanted this female lead to be the character I would take my first step with after Yoo Ji-an.

Song Soon-im.

That was the name of the female lead.

Okay, I’ve decided.

I’m going with this work.

As I was organizing the script, a strange thought suddenly crossed my mind.

“It’s so interesting, why don’t I remember seeing it as a drama?”