In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 3

Back to the evening.

I sat stiffly in the office chair, lost in thought.

‘Just staying still won’t do.’

I gulped down bottled water, feeling frustrated.

I need to escape this situation somehow…

And dig something up?

I glanced at the office clock.

It was already past 6:30 PM.

I started to feel anxious.

If I couldn’t find Yoo Ji-an’s weakness, I would be trapped in this repeating day forever.

“Yoo Ji-an’s weakness… I just need to find it.”

I closed my eyes tightly and flipped through the script in my head.

Where would Yoo Ji-an be right now?

Where and how should I find Yoo Ji-an’s weakness?

Wait.

What was the decisive trigger that made Yoo Ji-an try to hit Shin Se-ra with her car?

As if possessed, I got up from my seat and left the office.

I walked slowly down the hallway and caught the elevator.

‘Shouldn’t I meet Yoo Ji-an before she gets hit by the car?’

Ding!

The elevator arrived, and the doors opened.

I reached out and pressed the button for the building’s highest floor.

The script’s contents came to mind.

Yoo Ji-an would be in Cha Min-ho’s office right now, receiving her final breakup notice.

That breakup notice was the decisive trigger for her hitting Shin Se-ra.

* * *

Having arrived at the top of the building.

I moved my steps towards the office located at the end of the hallway.

The door was slightly open.

I could hear voices through the gap.

“Shin Se-ra. You know her well….”

Hearing the woman’s voice calling my name, I instinctively recognized it as Yoo Ji-an.

“Love affairs are fleeting, you know. If you really want to, just do it until you get tired of it. Business partners should be able to understand that much.”

Listening to Yoo Ji-an’s nonchalant, monotonous words, I was reminded of the time when I played Yoo Ji-an.

Yoo Ji-an’s voice was a bit higher in tone than when I was acting.

Then Cha Min-ho retorted to Yoo Ji-an’s words.

“It’s not fleeting. I’m going to break off this marriage.”

Rather, Cha Min-ho’s voice was colder than Yoo Ji-an’s.

Yoo Ji-an scoffed.

“You’re going to put a value of tens or hundreds of millions on this love affair? Is our marriage just our marriage? It’s a family promise, a corporate agreement.”

Seeing Yoo Ji-an’s aggressive attitude, I realized, ‘That’s definitely Yoo Ji-an.’

The destructive edge from when I played Yoo Ji-an a long time ago seemed to be reviving.

“I know that too. I know it better than you do, I do.”

After that, there was a moment of silence following Cha Min-ho’s answer.

I was breathless.

I covered my mouth, afraid that my breathing would leak into the room.

But…

The words and actions that followed from Yoo Ji-an were bewildering.

“Why not me?”

Yoo Ji-an’s voice trembled at the end.

“Just stop it.”

Cha Min-ho’s voice was full of exhaustion and weariness.

“You have so much, and yet you want me too. Do you have to have everything, even people’s hearts, to be satisfied?”

Soon, I heard Cha Min-ho’s footsteps approaching the door.

I quickly hid in a small corner next to the door.

Cha Min-ho walked away into the distance of the hallway.

Yoo Ji-an didn’t come out of the office.

I peered into the room through the crack in the door.

Yoo Ji-an’s face, turned away with her back to the door, was faintly reflected in the window.

The sight was shockingly unfamiliar.

Yoo Ji-an was just standing there, staring at the floor.

With a very sad face, without even shedding tears.

I couldn’t take my eyes off such Yoo Ji-an.

Something’s wrong.

The way Yoo Ji-an looks now is different from the acting I did.

I stared at Yoo Ji-an’s back for a long time.

* * *

Back in the empty office, I tapped the blank paper with the tip of my pen.

The clock was already pointing to 7:25.

If 5 more minutes pass like this, will I go back to the beginning again?

“Yoo Ji-an’s weakness….”

I wrote ‘Cha Min-ho’ on the blank paper.

Because it’s the only thing Yoo Ji-an has ever wanted the most, and the only thing she hasn’t gotten.

But nothing happened.

I sighed deeply and leaned back in my chair.

For some reason, the image of Yoo Ji-an I saw through the crack in the door kept lingering in my mind.

Why was she standing like that?

Was Yoo Ji-an the type of person to be immersed in sadness?

I always expressed Yoo Ji-an’s emotions explosively.

Like an immature child expressing emotions.

I was confident that I knew Yoo Ji-an better than anyone else in the world.

But maybe that wasn’t the case….

Everything seemed to be getting more and more twisted.

Do I really have to go to ‘that place’?

What if Yoo Ji-an’s weakness can only be found there?

But what happens if I get hit by a car like in the original story?

How do I know if I’ll really die or not…?

My heart was beating erratically.

At that moment, the office clock pointed to 7:30, and golden letters flashed again on the paper.

[You have failed the mission.]

And then, darkness again.

“Se-ra!”

As soon as I opened my eyes again, I turned on the office monitor.

“Se-ra, what are you doing?”

Other people’s words didn’t reach my ears.

I immediately accessed the airline website.

Mission or whatever, my survival is more important.

I’m going abroad.

“Se-ra!”

Ignoring the section chief’s voice scolding me from behind, I stormed out of the office.

* * *

Tick, tock.

7:24.

7:25.

7:26.

The scenery of the Pacific Ocean that can be seen from the plane heading to Cebu was not visible at all.

All I could see was time.

Why am I so anxious?

But deep down, I knew the reason.

Maybe…….

Is it because I know that running away won’t change anything?

[You have failed the mission.]

Before I could even open my eyes and assess the situation, I heard the annoying voice.

“Se-ra. Se-ra!”

Listening to the employee’s voice announcing the start again, I made a decision.

The place in the original script where Yoo Ji-an runs over Shin Se-ra with her car.

I have to go there.

I have to see with my own eyes what Yoo Ji-an’s weakness is.

* * *

A dark road with thick fog.

Hiding behind a roadside tree, I scanned the roadside.

Soon, a black SUV appeared from somewhere and stopped on the opposite side.

She even covered the license plate, that ruthless bitch….

An old scene from a drama I had forgotten came to mind, and Yoo Ji-an’s atrocities came to mind again.

Looking at Yoo Ji-an from Shin Se-ra’s point of view, Yoo Ji-an’s appearance was madness itself.

But…

‘She’s also me soon, isn’t she.’

Yoo Ji-an’s figure, obscured by the fog, seemed to appear in front of my eyes.

Holding the steering wheel like a beast preying on its prey, but waiting for Shin Se-ra with trembling hands.

The act of trying to have the man she loves by risking her life was blindly single-minded.

A cool, chilly air brushed against both cheeks.

Before I knew it, the time was 6:59.

I decided not to hesitate.

But there was nothing I could do about my hands and legs trembling like an aspen tree.

The blowing wind was awakening the feeling that this was not a dream but reality.

“Just once… just hold on once.”

Once I do that mission or whatever, I’ll be able to get out of the script.

I pursed my lips tightly, stared straight at Yoo Ji-an’s car, and took a deep breath.

I slowly took a step.

Crossing the crosswalk, one step, two steps…….

When I was about halfway there, a terrifying roar erupted from the engine of Yoo Ji-an’s car.

In an instant, the black car rushed towards me.

“Zero-back performance, good…”

Considering it’s a really old car.

I had the absurd thought that I would be able to portray the act of being hit by a car better than anyone else later.

Was this what it meant for a person to become comfortable in the face of death?

Thud, screech—thump….

My body soared through the air.

I wondered how long I had been staring at the pitch-black night sky when my body fell in a place far away from the car.

I felt the pain of bones and muscles breaking and tearing into tens of thousands of pieces.

What was even more terrible was that my consciousness did not fade.

As my vision gradually blurred, I heard the sound of shoes approaching this way.

Using the last of my strength, I turned my head and saw Yoo Ji-an.

Yoo Ji-an’s face, which was faintly visible, somehow resembled mine.

Her doll-like pretty appearance and glossy black hair exuded a cold aura, and the color of her eyes was as dark as her hair color.

But…

‘…?’

Unlike when I acted, Yoo Ji-an had a different expression on her face.

Yoo Ji-an staggered as she walked, then sat down in front of me as if collapsing.

Then she burst into tears for a long time.

“You, you ruined everything. If you just disappear, everything will go back to normal.”

With a vengeance, Yoo Ji-an burst out with tears, words, and resentment all at once.

It was completely different from the Yoo Ji-an I had imagined.

“I don’t have as much as you do. I don’t have anyone! Why are you trying to take away even the last one I have left.”

Such Yoo Ji-an’s voice, those childish desires, somehow sounded painful.

Yoo Ji-an looked at my eyes for the last time and returned to the car with legs that trembled even more than when I crossed the street.

Yoo Ji-an sat in the driver’s seat and looked in the side mirror.

Yoo Ji-an, looking at her own face, cried in a way I had never seen before.

She cried a lot.

That crying sound, which did not leave my ears, was mixed with self-loathing, futility, resentment, and anger.

Twenty years ago, I thought that the essence of Yoo Ji-an’s emotions was only anger.

That was my delusion.

I realize it now.

‘You… were crying there.’

Yoo Ji-an’s crying gradually faded from my ears.

I barely turned my head and looked at the black night sky.

Slowly, my eyes closed.

At that moment, a dazzling light pouring from somewhere surrounded me.

* * *

My lying body was lifted by a bouncing recoil, and I felt my feet touching the ground.

As the light surrounding me slowly faded, a new space appeared.

Several people were sitting facing this way, looking at me.

‘Where is this….’

At that moment, a person looking at me seriously caught my eye.

“Lee Si-young, teacher?”

My heart sank.

Why is my teacher, who passed away a few years ago, here?

The wrinkles on my teacher’s face, whom I hadn’t seen in a long time, were faint.

Only then did I notice the placard attached to the wall.

「 Female Actor Audition」

As soon as I saw the placard, I was breathless.

Could it be, here.

The strangely unfamiliar feeling gave strength to my intuition.

The faces of the people sitting in their seats were familiar.

They were the main staff, such as the PD [Producer-Director] and writer, from the time of filming Flats.

“Um… by any chance, what year is it here?”

I barely opened my mouth and spoke.

Then the PD smiled slightly and replied.

“Wow, are you that immersed in the work?”

My head went blank.

If my memory is correct, this place is definitely 2012.

It was the audition site for my debut film .

I will die as an actress, not a villainess, in this life