In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 33

Back in the royal residence late at night.

I slumped onto the silk bedding, a groan escaping my lips.

Today was just too exhausting.

So many things happened…

Suddenly, the scene of kissing Sunim in the study flashed through my mind.

I shook my head vigorously, startled.

How, how could I be so embarrassed?

My first kiss in this life was with the protagonist in the script.

I hope things don’t reset when I open my eyes tomorrow…

My heart pounded.

Just then, two court ladies entered and began to massage one of my legs each.

Feeling inexplicably uncomfortable, I brushed their hands away.

“That’s enough. You may leave.”

In just two days, I had gotten much better at imitating the king.

As the court ladies retreated, Sangseon, who was standing in the corner, gestured towards the outside.

Then, the door closed.

Only then did I feel like I could breathe again.

The king was someone who could never be alone all day long.

“Haa…”

Hearing my sigh, Sangseon approached me, kneeling down.

Then, he lifted one of my legs and placed it on his knee, starting to massage it.

“Sangseon, that’s enough.”

“You must be tired, Your Majesty.”

Sangseon massaged my leg firmly with his wrinkled hands.

Looking at Sangseon’s face, I felt strangely unsettled.

Sangseon opened his mouth.

“Your Majesty, it is said that since this morning, mysterious posters have been appearing outside the palace. The whereabouts of the young officials who recently took office have also become unclear.”

Sangseon’s quiet words made the atmosphere heavy.

Sangseon continued to massage my leg.

“Perhaps the officials’ protests will continue in the future. It’s all likely Daebi’s [Queen Dowager’s] scheme.”

Listening quietly, I replied.

“I must become stronger. Isn’t that so?”

Then, Sangseon smiled and reached for my other leg.

“Your Majesty is already strong. You have only not made a choice.”

It was an incomprehensible statement.

I reached out my hand over the old Sangseon’s hand.

As my hand touched his, Sangseon’s hand stopped.

To have spent a lifetime by the king’s side until old age…

With such warm hands and eyes.

How could such a person not be in the script?

It was puzzling.

There wasn’t a single line of Sangseon’s dialogue in the script I read.

I recalled what I had thought while looking at Sunim during the day.

The reason I possessed the king seemed to be to understand Sunim’s unknown aspects from another’s perspective.

And I guessed that what was more important was…

‘To realize the existence of Sangseon hidden in the script.’

It was one of the few facts that became clearer over the past few days.

If I had possessed Sunim, I wouldn’t have realized the necessity of Sangseon so desperately.

He was someone who had been entrusted with so many important tasks.

I held Sangseon’s hand tightly.

“Sangseon, thank you.”

Sangseon lowered his head.

And hesitated, then spoke.

“Your Majesty, you have seemed different from usual since yesterday.”

“Is that so? How am I different?”

At my words, Sangseon paused to consider.

“You seem to be more… honest.”

My eyes met Sangseon’s.

“I think I like this side of Your Majesty as well.”

“Not ridiculous?”

“N, no way.”

“Sangseon, you stuttered just now.”

At those words, we both laughed at the same time.

And that night, the warmth in Sangseon’s hand became unforgettable.

* * *

A few days later.

“Get out.”

I said, suppressing my trembling voice.

“Your Majesty. According to custom…”

“No, get out!”

I was arguing with the court ladies in front of the plum blossom frame.

Seeing this, Sangseon bowed and said.

“It is to examine Your Majesty’s body.”

I grabbed my lower abdomen, which continued to ache, and snapped.

“Get out!”

Then, the court ladies and eunuchs prostrated themselves on the floor.

“Please kill us, Your Majesty…”

“No, what kill? Just please get out…”

I felt like I was about to cry.

Eventually, Sangseon calmly sent the others outside.

And closed the door, staring at me silently.

“Your Majesty.”

“Sangseon, you get out too.”

Sangseon’s eyes widened in surprise for a moment.

However, Sangseon did not back down from my glare and spoke clearly.

“You must not keep dismissing the palace staff. The more you hide, the more they will suspect. They will wonder if Your Majesty’s health is failing.”

Confused, I stood there listening to Sangseon’s words blankly.

Ugh, my stomach hurts so much.

As my legs began to twist more and more, I felt a surge of irritation.

In the meantime, Sangseon continued.

“Then it will give them an excuse.”

“Them?”

I reflexively asked Sangseon.

Sangseon lowered his voice along with his waist.

“Daebi’s [Queen Dowager’s] residence, I mean. How can you pretend not to know?”

Does that damn Daebi [Queen Dowager] monitor even going to the bathroom?

“The more Your Majesty shows it, the more difficult Song Busuchan’s movements will become. I understand your discomfort, but please act as usual.”

Busuchan’s movements…

‘I couldn’t find it even after searching the palace thoroughly…’

‘Evidence that Daebi [Queen Dowager] falsely accused my family of treason a long time ago.’

Sunim’s voice echoed in my ears.

While I was busy playing the role of the king, had Sunim found even a small clue?

“I understand. I will be careful. Then, is that… is Busuchan’s movement going well?”

Before Sangseon could answer, I spoke again.

“No, no. Tell Busuchan to come in secretly tonight.”

In fact, I had been feeling uneasy because I hadn’t done anything other than observe for the past few days.

Nothing particularly special had happened, so I couldn’t get a grasp of things.

How was I supposed to complete any sequence?

Besides…

It’s been several days, why isn’t the loop happening?

Anxiety grew inside me.

* * *

So, after attending another lecture, eating countless meals, and handling even more work, night fell.

The sound of crickets chirping could be heard outside the royal residence.

But…

I stared blankly at the candle illuminating the room.

Why is it so quiet?

Unlike usual, I felt like the palace was sinking into silence.

Sangseon had gone to bring Sunim at my command, so I felt even more uneasy.

I didn’t know which of the palace staff inside my residence were Daebi’s [Queen Dowager’s] people…

Just then, a thunderous voice echoed from outside the royal residence.

“Your Majesty, we have apprehended the traitor!”

Goosebumps ran down my neck.

“Traitor…?”

I immediately got up and hurried outside.

And as soon as the door of Gangnyeongjeon [the King’s main residence] opened, my steps came to a halt.

There wasn’t even the sound of an ant moving, but at some point, the royal guards and officials had completely surrounded the residence.

“What is this…?”

The torches held by the soldiers illuminated the front of Gangnyeongjeon [the King’s main residence].

Then, Daebi [Queen Dowager] walked out from behind the soldiers.

Daebi’s [Queen Dowager’s] face, illuminated by the torchlight, was unfamiliar.

It was completely different from the appearance I had seen when offering greetings.

Her gentleness was nowhere to be found, and a chilling intensity emanated from Daebi’s [Queen Dowager’s] entire body.

It felt like a crouching tiger had stretched out its body with the intention of devouring someone.

While I was staring in bewilderment, Daebi [Queen Dowager] glanced to her side.

Next to Daebi [Queen Dowager], two familiar people were kneeling, bound with ropes.

It was Sunim, whose official robes were half pulled down and in a mess, and Sangseon, who was bleeding from his head.

“Wh, what is this?”

Is this a scene that appears in the script?

There’s no way…

“Sangseon… Sunim.”

At my call, Sunim, who was on the verge of fainting, couldn’t answer.

The thought that something was wrong flashed through my mind.

“Treason? Is there any evidence!”

At my threat, Daebi [Queen Dowager] let out a small laugh.

“Escort the King inside. We will strengthen the regency until he recovers his senses.”

Some of the young eunuchs who had followed Sangseon hesitated and tried to stay by my side, but the soldiers’ swords were aimed at their necks.

I felt dizzy.

As people began to get hurt, the reality sank deep into my bones.

What did I miss?

What am I supposed to do…?

Just then, two soldiers approached and reached out their rough hands to me.

“How dare you lay your hands on my royal body! Can’t you let go!”

No matter how much I shouted, the soldiers didn’t budge and dragged me somewhere.

Daebi’s [Queen Dowager’s] voice was heard from behind.

“He has been deluded by traitors and his mind is failing. We must let him rest comfortably.”

* * *

I opened my eyes in a dark residence.

“Ugh…”

My head ached as if it would break, and a groan escaped my lips.

An unknown smoke was rising from one corner of the room.

Strangely, it became increasingly difficult to breathe.

Just then, the sound of the door opening was heard.

And the sound of light footsteps grew closer to my ear.

“It’s opium. It has the effect of calming the mind.”

It was Daebi [Queen Dowager].

Through my hazy eyes, I could see Daebi [Queen Dowager] covering the area below her eyes with a cloth.

“Did you think you could win against this person by moving in a half-hearted manner? It would have been better to quietly remain a chess piece.”

Daebi [Queen Dowager] recited slowly.

I twisted my body, which wouldn’t listen to me, and moved with difficulty.

Daebi [Queen Dowager] looked down at me and sneered.

“You should have struggled desperately from the start. Like now…”

Daebi’s [Queen Dowager’s] words continued to be heard.

“Because you weren’t desperate… didn’t everyone die?”

Daebi [Queen Dowager] laughed.

At that moment, Sangseon and Sunim, who were sitting with their bodies on the verge of collapsing while bleeding, came to mind.

Anger surged from the depths of my heart.

I felt self-loathing.

“Now this world is mine.”

With those words, Daebi [Queen Dowager] slowly moved towards the door.

Holding onto my fading consciousness, I thought.

What did I do wrong?

Should I have urged Sunim more?

Was it a problem that I sent people out in front of the plum blossom frame?

Or before that, was it a mistake to ask what I should have communicated to the protesting officials?

But why didn’t time go back at that point?

Did it only go back during ?

I was furious at Daebi [Queen Dowager], who had harmed me, Sangseon, and Sunim.

And I felt a familiar emotion.

Fear.

What if I can’t go back?

What if I die like this?

I have to play Sunim…

Eventually, my strength gave out and my eyelids began to feel heavy.

The strength in my fingers loosened.

After a while, I felt like I was being grabbed by the scruff of my neck and pulled up from the depths of a deep sleep.

“Huk!”

And I opened my eyes again.

I jumped up from the familiar silk bedding.

My whole body was covered in cold sweat.

“Your Majesty!”

I looked around frantically.

“Your Majesty.”

I hesitated to turn my head at the familiar voice ringing in my ears.

My whole body was trembling like an aspen tree.

Sangseon came into my view as I slowly turned my gaze.

He looked perfectly fine.

“Your Majesty! Did you have a nightmare? Someone! Bring water. Quickly!”

I reached out and touched Sangseon’s whole body.

He was warm.

“Sangseon. Are you alive?”

“Your Majesty. This humble servant is old, but I am still breathing.”

Sangseon soothed me with the smile I had always seen.

I grabbed Sangseon’s sleeve for a long time.

And so, the first day of the script began again.

I Will Die as an Actress This Time