In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 48

A few days later.

I was finally catching my breath in the office…

But only for a moment.

Min-young unnie [older sister or close female friend] was sitting in front of the monitor with a serious look, handling various tasks.

“Unnie.”

“….”

“Unnie?”

No response.

It was about my Best New Actress nomination.

I didn’t realize an agency could get this busy over a single rookie award nomination.

Before I knew it, Unnie was buried under a mountain of documents with the increased number of staff.

I blankly sat and stared at her.

I’m the one who got nominated, so why is she the one suffering?

This is quite strange.

Neither the staff who told me about the nomination, nor the teacher who worried I’d get a big head, nor even I myself.

None of us thought it would become such a big deal.

But the public’s reaction was different.

As soon as the nominations were announced, my name didn’t drop from various portal sites for days.

There were articles playing games [engaging in smear campaigns], and even other nominees’ companies trying to undermine us.

Moreover, thanks to the nomination, interest in the currently filming ‘Royal Flower’ and the ‘Morning Dew’ commercial shoot was rekindled.

Unnie chugged a bottle of water and finally opened her mouth.

“Hey, thanks to you, I haven’t slept in days.”

“Oh, Unnie, you have dark circles…. Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah, you brat. ‘Morning Dew’ sales seem to have increased quite a bit. They contacted us about the next ad contract.”

The ‘Morning Dew’ renewal product, which gained popularity through TV commercials, was gaining even more momentum with this influx, so they seemed eager to rush into the next contract.

“So, this time, I’m going to include a running royalty clause.”

A running royalty is a method where, if the sales increase exceeds a certain level, the model receives additional fees in proportion to the subsequent sales increase.

It was a contract method mainly used by movie actors, and she was saying she would include it in an advertisement contract.

“Oh, can you do that?”

“We’ll throw it out there and see.”

“Hmm….”

I slowly nodded.

If it worked, it would definitely be more beneficial for me.

If ‘Royal Flower’ does well, my recognition will be even higher by the time it ends.

I can earn more than just setting a basic contract fee.

After thinking for a moment, I looked at Unnie and opened my mouth.

“Unnie, make sure it doesn’t overlap with the ‘Royal Flower’ filming as much as possible.”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? It’s a filming opportunity we barely got. But what are you going to do after ‘Royal Flower’ ends?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like variety shows [reality TV]. Are you thinking of going on any? You’ve already filmed commercials.”

Ah.

This is also unexpected.

I was momentarily bewildered.

In my past life’s memories, Min-young unnie was never the type to push rookies into variety shows to exploit them.

“Have I gotten any offers?”

“We’ve been getting offers from all over for a while now, but I’ve been putting them off a bit because you’re filming. First of all, your opinion is important.”

After hearing Unnie’s words, I pondered for a moment.

Variety shows, variety shows, huh? Me on a variety show…. I’m suddenly losing confidence.

Going out there, acting cute, doing physical comedy, running around….

My vision went dark.

Unnie looked at me, as if she knew I would be worried.

“Here’s what I think. The entertainment industry is all about pushing rising rookies into variety shows to make money.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“But in the long run, that’s not a very good strategy. For established stars, it’s a good way to reset their already established image and approach the public in a friendly way, but for rookies, it can have the opposite effect.”

It was Unnie’s unexpected philosophy.

She’s not an entertainment CEO for nothing.

Unnie continued to speak.

“Since you only have one or two famous roles, they’ll create a variety show character based on that, which could solidify your image and become an obstacle to growing into an all-rounder actor.”

I just nodded like an idiot at her words.

If Unnie says so, then that’s how it is.

She’s someone who knows how to invest in actors from a long-term perspective.

“But just in case. Is there any variety show you want to do?”

I shook my head.

“Not yet. I want to focus on acting. Even if I have time, I think it would be better to take a short break and experience various things rather than doing a variety show.”

Then Unnie smiled meaningfully.

“Okay, I’ll prepare something.”

“Huh? Prepare what?”

Unnie silently looked back at the monitor and became engrossed.

I sat blankly in the office, where only the sound of the keyboard could be heard, and then quietly got up from my seat at the solemn atmosphere.

* * *

The next place I headed to was school, which I hadn’t been to in a while.

“Oh? Wow! Look, it’s Han Sae-na.”

“It is. Was she in the same year as us? Isn’t she a senior?”

“I think she postponed her graduation because of work? Something like that?”

From the moment I passed the entrance, I could hear murmuring voices from all directions.

Yes, that’s right.

I was so busy with ‘Flat Shoes’ that I hastily postponed my graduation, which was delayed by a year.

I was planning to quietly pick up my diploma, as I thought it would only attract attention.

But the answer I got from the school was.

‘Sae-na, we’d like you to give the graduation speech on behalf of the acting department on graduation day.’

Suddenly, I was given a significant task.

Moreover, I’m only filming my second project, and they want me to give a speech….

There are many friends who debuted much earlier, and if you were to pick out people who have been exposed to the media within the school, there would already be dozens, hundreds of people.

After receiving the request, I hesitated, wondering if this was the right place for me to shine, but it was none other than Min-young unnie who pushed me on the back.

‘Of course, you have to do it, why wouldn’t you!’

I was persuaded by her saying, ‘There’s something only you can say.’

I adjusted my coat collar, accepting the gazes directed towards me.

I hurried my steps towards the waiting room.

Then, I saw a familiar silhouette in the distance.

“Hello, senior!”

Someone bowed deeply towards me.

“…Oh, hello!”

Who are you?

Except for the last semester, I couldn’t remember the people in my department whom I only occasionally encountered in class.

Because they were faces from 20 years ago.

“Senior! Please take a picture with me!”

As the junior approached, someone suddenly appeared and blocked them.

“Hey, the senior is busy! She’s here to give the graduation speech, you know?”

It was a familiar back.

Seon Yu-seok easily dealt with the junior.

And then, he started acting like a bodyguard as we headed towards the auditorium.

“No autographs. It’s not a fan meeting!”

“Hey, take it easy?”

I poked Seon Yu-seok in the back.

But Seon Yu-seok didn’t care and replied.

“No way. What if someone pretends to be friendly and tries to get close and a scandal breaks out!”

“Seriously? What does that have to do with you?”

“What do you mean, why doesn’t it matter?”

Seon Yu-seok stopped walking and looked down at me.

“I’m the closest junior to you, noona [term of endearment for an older sister or female friend], right?”

Seriously.

When did that happen without me knowing?

As I let out an absurd chuckle, we arrived in front of the auditorium.

I was about to enter the waiting room when an unexpected person was waiting in front of the door.

“You finally made it? You annoying girl.”

“Oh, Kim Eun-seo!”

It was the first time we had faced each other in almost a year.

What is this uncomfortable pleasantness?

Obviously, Kim Eun-seo wasn’t even at her own graduation ceremony, but she had bothered to come all the way to school to be spiteful.

To come all the way to my graduation ceremony for me… is this interest?

Is this why they say familiarity breeds contempt?

Seon Yu-seok pushed me on the back, wary of another fight breaking out.

Kim Eun-seo pushed Seon Yu-seok’s back as if he were annoying.

“Go and grab a good seat quickly. The best seat to see me when I give my speech.”

I smiled at Kim Eun-seo and said.

“And thanks for the congratulations!”

Then Kim Eun-seo snorted.

“I didn’t just come to congratulate you? I’m going into a project this time too.”

“Noona is going into a project?”

Seon Yu-seok’s eyes widened.

I was also surprised and looked at Kim Eun-seo, and the answer that followed was even more surprising.

“Yeah, an independent film.”

It was an unexpected move.

“I’m going to rise as a character actor. More than you. Much more!”

I chuckled at Kim Eun-seo’s words.

“Okay. I’ll definitely monitor it. You should do my next project. I’m going to do something really good, so I need a discerning eye.”

“You know it.”

Kim Eun-seo huffed and turned to enter the auditorium.

A moment later, behind the stage.

“Sae-na! You’re going out now.”

The faculty member gave me guidance.

I took a deep breath.

It was a different kind of nervousness than when I was acting.

Soon, the faculty member nodded and opened the curtain.

I slowly moved onto the stage.

In front of the approached microphone.

“Hello. I’m Han Sae-na from the Department of Theater and Film, representing the graduating class of Seowon University of the Arts.”

The loud applause of the students who filled the 1st and 2nd floors of the auditorium poured out.

“First of all, I would like to thank the faculty members who entrusted me with this speech on behalf of the proud Department of Acting.”

I slowly looked around at the people in the audience.

Sparkling eyes.

They were the eyes of those who dreamed like me.

“To tell you my story, I failed auditions for three years before debuting as a supporting role in ‘Cinderella in Flat Shoes.'”

Suddenly, a short memory of my past life flashed through my mind.

I was twenty-three years old, and I was so desperate for the first role I got that I clung to it with gratitude.

I realized too late that I shouldn’t have done that.

“From the moment I started dreaming of becoming an actor, there always seemed to be talented people around me, and those people achieved results early on. From child actors to rising rookies. And their achievements… gave me impatience.”

I saw Kim Eun-seo sitting at the end of the second floor.

I’m not much different from you.

I wanted to convey that message to people through my speech.

“However, when I see people who debut well past middle age, I sometimes think that my impatience is arrogance. That’s how capricious and unpredictable the birth and lifespan of an actor seems to be.”

I could see several people nodding in agreement.

“I’m just a rookie who is now filming my second project, and I’m standing here in this speech. I’m just one person who is thirsty for work like all of you. I also cannot estimate the lifespan of the actor that remains for me. As such a person, I speak with my mouth the thoughts that everyone sitting here today holds.”

The tension eased, and the story I wanted to tell flowed from my heart.

“In the future, we may have to endure a long period of obscurity, or we may be in the spotlight for a while and then be forgotten. There may be times when our efforts are not rewarded, and there may be moments when we are confused as to whether it is luck or a fair reward. However, in all those moments, I hope that each of us will do our art. Not being broken, not being swayed, and not forgetting that each of us is a world in ourselves. I hope that I, and you, can all just do that.”

I finished my speech and slightly moved my body away from the microphone.

There was a moment of silence in the auditorium.

I was briefly immersed in the afterglow, but then worry crossed my mind.

Was I too serious?

Was the topic not good?

Then, starting from the front seats, people began to applaud one by one, and soon the auditorium was filled with applause.

“Ah….”

Seeing that, I was overwhelmed with emotion.

I came down from the platform and bowed deeply.

I’ll die as an actress, not a villain, in this life.