In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 5

“Okay.”

The director’s voice signaled the end of scene 1.

The cast applauded.

“Sena, you must have practiced a lot.”

“She doesn’t seem like a rookie at all.”

Amidst the compliments, my gaze was fixed solely on writer Lee Si-young.

The writer simply nodded without a word.

“Let’s move on to the next scene.”

The next scene was a tense confrontation between Yoo Ji-an and her uncle, who was like an enemy.

The uncle was played by senior actor Park Hoon, often called a ‘master supporting actor’.

“Why don’t you just continue your little love affair at your fiancé’s company? That would be better for everyone.”

As expected, the senior actor instantly created a tense atmosphere, befitting his veteran status.

His imposing physique was a bonus.

Yoo Ji-an’s uncle was a character who managed one of the family’s affiliates and used schemes to exclude Yoo Ji-an and her siblings from the succession.

When acting with seniors who exuded such an extraordinary aura, it was game over if you got intimidated.

It was a mistake I often made in the past.

“Your father must be having a headache. The eldest has a mental illness, and the second is obsessed with men and acting like this.”

At those words, I scoffed.

The gazes of over thirty people turned towards me.

I wore a cold smile, Yoo Ji-an’s signature.

It was how Yoo Ji-an had always dealt with those who attacked her.

“Uncle, you should just focus on picking up the scraps that fall. You have a small bowl, so you should protect what little you have.”

“What?”

The intense back-and-forth felt great, even to me.

“It’s easy to climb up the rope, but you’ll soon realize how difficult it is to hold on to it until the end.”

The director laughed and shouted “Okay” again.

Once again, the writer simply nodded.

After that, actress Jung Yu-ri, who played the main character Shin Se-ra, gave a passionate performance.

The script reading continued for three hours straight without a break.

* * *

Script reading break.

While Han Sena and the other actors and staff went to take care of personal matters or smoke, writer Lee Si-young and director Moon Won-hyung sat facing each other.

“What do you think, writer? You’ve been quiet all day.”

Lee Si-young still sat with an inscrutable expression.

“Well, we’ll have to leave it up to the actors now.”

Just then, assistant director Jung Chae-sung, who was organizing the script next to them, chimed in.

“The flow was good today, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. There aren’t any clumsy actors, so it’s worth looking forward to.”

The director replied, seemingly pleased.

“What about Han Sena?”

The assistant director casually threw out the question.

“She didn’t get nervous and did well, right?”

The director nodded, seemingly acknowledging her.

“What did you think, writer, about Sena?”

“She did well. Her tone has improved since the audition.”

Hearing the writer’s answer, the director rolled up the script and tapped his head with it.

“Now, the most crucial thing is that…”

The atmosphere instantly became heavy with the director’s word ‘that.’

The writer and assistant director simultaneously nodded with darkened faces.

Lee Si-young replied.

“She’s so young, after all.”

“Why did the filming schedule have to be set up like this, sigh.”

Jung Chae-sung raised a hand and rubbed his face roughly.

“Looking at it that way, it’s a good thing that many of Yoo Ji-an’s scenes were deleted.”

The assistant director added, as if agreeing.

“The writer was very disappointed, but if we had gone with the previous version, a rookie actress wouldn’t have been able to handle it.”

Then, Lee Si-young smiled slightly, as if regretting it.

“Ah, really, I wish Han Sena could pull it off.”

Now understanding the writer’s true feelings, the director and assistant director chuckled.

“It’s my first time seeing a writer who puts more effort into the villain than the female lead.”

The assistant director joked.

Then, Lee Si-young swept back her hair.

“She’s charming, though. Anyway, I’m worried…. I keep telling myself not to be greedy, but….”

Director Moon nodded.

He felt the same way.

The three of them sighed deeply, a mix of worry and anticipation.

In the meantime, the door opened, and actors and staff entered one by one.

* * *

The clock hands passed midnight.

Finally, the reading ended, and I slammed the script shut.

I was sweating and out of breath even though I had just been sitting.

‘Wow, this is really no easy task. How did I do it back then?’

I raised the script to my face.

The lead actors of were chugging water as soon as they closed their scripts.

While they were shaking their heads, people shouted in unison.

“Everyone, you’ve worked hard!”

“Good job, everyone-”

Only then did the thirty-plus actors and staff get up from their seats.

Everyone was exhausted.

“The schedule for the second reading will be announced separately!”

A staff member shouted, and people began to leave the office in droves, exchanging greetings.

I, too, packed my things and got up from my seat.

“Sena.”

Just then, writer Lee Si-young called out to me.

People glanced at us as they left.

And so, in the empty office.

I swallowed nervously as I was left alone with the writer.

What is it?

This didn’t happen back then.

Seeing my expression, the writer smiled slightly, as if telling me not to be nervous.

“It’s nothing much, you’re doing well.”

“Yes?”

I looked down at the writer, who was a head shorter than me.

“You did well in today’s reading. Is it your first reading? How was it?”

“I was so nervous, but everyone matched well and supported me, so I was able to do it comfortably.”

The teacher nodded.

“That’s a relief. You’re the youngest in the team, and a rookie, so I wanted to take care of you.”

“Ah….”

I bowed slightly, as if to express my gratitude.

She definitely has something more to say.

“Sena.”

The teacher continued cautiously.

“What do you think about Yoo Ji-an?”

“Yes?”

It was an unexpected question.

Speaking of Yoo Ji-an….

The image of Yoo Ji-an crying in front of me came to mind.

The most pitiful villain in the world.

My life is reflected in her, and she hurts my heart just as much.

I didn’t know what to say, so I remained silent, and the teacher asked again.

“What do you think is Yoo Ji-an’s weakness?”

“……!”

I almost stopped breathing at those words.

I met the teacher’s eyes, trembling.

I felt as if she had caught me searching for Yoo Ji-an’s weakness in the script.

The teacher spoke softly.

“I think that people like Yoo Ji-an, who are perfect and cruel and have everything, are more likely to have fatal weaknesses than others.”

“Yes….”

I barely managed to open my mouth.

“Would you like to find it?”

It felt like I had received a mission.

The mission the writer gave me.

In fact, it’s a mission that was already cleared a long time ago.

Only then did I feel like the time I spent wandering in the script was truly being rewarded.

“Yes, teacher. I will definitely find it!”

I grabbed the teacher’s hands tightly.

Then, the teacher laughed in surprise.

“Okay, let’s go now. We need to go and rest.”

With that, I turned off the lights with the writer and left.

* * *

The long-awaited first day of filming for .

The appearance, atmosphere, and weather of this filming set in the outskirts of Gyeonggi-do [province surrounding Seoul] all made me look back 20 years.

The weather is nice, and the breeze is good.

I stood on the road where traffic was controlled and took a deep breath.

The day I first fell into the script and met Yoo Ji-an.

The day it snowed, the day Shin Se-ra was hit by Yoo Ji-an’s car.

I was scheduled to act out that scene.

Seeing those scenes made me nervous and also made me realize it all over again.

I’m really filming again.

As Yoo Ji-an again…….

Then, I heard the staff members nearby, who were busily moving equipment, talking among themselves.

“The first scene of filming is the climax.”

The staff sighed deeply about the filming schedule.

“The actress playing Yoo Ji-an this time is a complete rookie.”

“I was really in despair when I saw the schedule. If there’s an NG [no good – a failed take]? Then it’s straight to being fired, fired.”

“What’s the point of us doing well all day long? The actors have to do well….”

I stopped walking towards the filming set for a moment.

Suddenly, I remembered Lee Si-young calling me on the day of the reading.

I felt like I knew the writer’s intentions now.

‘The writer was worried too.’

The writer may have been afraid to entrust the scene she cared about most to a rookie debuting for the first time, on her first shoot.

I started walking again.

Unexpectedly, I didn’t feel too burdened or worried.

I was fully prepared.

As I walked briskly, I saw Lee Si-young sitting on a makeshift chair in a corner of the set in the distance.

“Teacher!”

I ran over and greeted her happily, holding her hand.

“You’re here so early?”

“Sena, you came out quickly. Did you get some sleep?”

The teacher greeted me warmly, making my heart swell.

As I saw the middle-aged teacher several times, I gradually adapted, and at the same time, I realized the weight of the passing time.

She’s such a warm person, I should have been less afraid of her in my past life.

“I was so nervous that I couldn’t sleep a wink, teacher.”

I couldn’t help but whine.

I didn’t know this before, but when you get older, you strangely become more affectionate towards your superiors.

As I get older, there are more and more people who rely on me, but the superiors I can rely on are gradually disappearing.

Anyway, I’m young Han Sena now, but inside, I’m someone who has gone through thick and thin and started over….

I wanted to lean on someone I could lean on as much as possible.

“Why did you come out so early, teacher?”

I asked, even though I knew all of the teacher’s habits.

“I have to come early to greet each and every one of you like this. I won’t be coming to the set after today. I’m old and don’t have the energy anymore.”

The teacher’s banter made the surrounding staff laugh.

“Teacher, you’re still in your prime, what are you talking about.”

“Am I in my prime? Anyway, I can’t see some and not see others.”

Really, I knew everything, but I couldn’t help but be amazed.

The teacher, famous as the ‘Tiger Writer,’ made eye contact with each actor before and after filming and had heartfelt conversations.

Passion for a perfect work and affection for the actors.

This was Lee Si-young’s characteristic and everything.

“Writer. I… I’ve been working hard to find what you told me to find.”

The teacher smiled at my words.

“Oh my, it’s not easy to say that. Can I look forward to it?”

I smiled without answering the teacher’s words.

“This scene is important for breathing, so you don’t have to go exactly as the lines say. You can start as if you’re rehearsing, as Sena has researched the character.”

The writer comforted me.

“Yes, I understand.”

“Preparation is complete!”

A staff member’s voice came from behind.

“Actors, please get ready.”

Hearing those words, I slowly put the script down on the spot.

It’s really finally starting.

I will die as an actress, not a villain, in this life.