In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 55

Back at the filming set.

I took a deep breath as I got out of the car.

‘Don’t be disappointed if the viewership ratings are lower than expected. It’s just because people don’t know about it yet, okay?’

That’s what Mom said to me from the crack of dawn.

Come to think of it, Director Kang Jeong-hwan seemed to say something similar yesterday.

I felt uneasy for no reason.

There were times like that.

When a work was clearly well-made, but the viewership ratings didn’t reflect it.

To survive in this industry for a long time, you had to avoid getting overly excited or discouraged.

So, let’s not get my hopes up too much.

I was thinking that when the assistant director approached from afar, waving his hand.

“Sena, our viewership ratings are….”

The assistant director’s expression wasn’t very good.

So it turned out that way.

I tried to smile brightly and patted him on the back first.

“Right, we worked hard to make it! It’s just that people haven’t recognized its true value yet.”

Then, a question immediately came back.

“Not yet?”

Huh?

The lighting director next to me chuckled.

Looking around, some of the staff were holding back their laughter.

“Puhaha! We got 12% yesterday! Average, not the highest moment!”

“Eek?!”

“Ah, I was so worried about Sena being too busy practicing girl group dances that I couldn’t help it. How unfortunate.”

Then, the assistant director grabbed his stomach and laughed.

Wow.

“I, I was expecting it?!”

As I was talking with the staff, Lee Seok-hyun got out of the car in the distance, waving his hands wildly.

“I heard we got 12 percent?!”

His face was full of smiles.

Ugh, that’s why those with quick information….

* * *

At the same time, in front of Class 2, Grade 3 of Hanseong Foreign Language High School.

As I opened the classroom door, my friends greeted me with a more boisterous atmosphere than usual.

“Kkotbyeol! Did you watch it yesterday? The new one?”

“Gyeolkkot [likely referring to the drama’s title, meaning ‘Winter Flower’] is seriously amazing. The visuals of both the male and female leads are great.”

‘Ah, they’re talking about that.’

It seemed they were talking about Gyeolkkot.

For high school seniors preparing for the college entrance exam, dramas are their only joy.

My mouth was already itching.

I wanted to brag that the female lead, Sena unnie [term for ‘older sister’ or ‘older female friend’ in Korean], in Gyeolkkot is from the same agency as me.

But isn’t it a bit too early yet?

I decided to play it cool.

“Yeah, it was good. I especially liked Soon-im.”

My friends nodded at my words.

“That person wears flats, right? My mom likes her a lot.”

“She’s really good at acting. Didn’t she receive a rookie award this time? She’s like a goddess in a dress.”

“I’m already a Geunboni [a dedicated fan]. Everyone, join the fan cafe.”

Everyone was full of praise for Sena unnie.

I felt proud for no reason?

I didn’t know why I felt so good.

Moreover, seeing Sena unnie’s cherished fans, ‘Geunbonis,’ promoting her right in front of me felt new.

So this is what it’s like to be a celebrity.

I’m envious and amazed.

Will people be as enthusiastic about me like this when I debut?

I decided to engrave each of my friends’ reactions in my head.

I have to tell Sena unnie.

* * *

Some time later.

“So, if you don’t watch Gyeolkkot these days, you can’t even join the conversation, you know?”

Kkotbyeol had been chattering next to me for a while.

I stroked her head because she looked so cute.

“Thank you. Thanks to Kkotbyeol, my shoulders are rising [idiomatic expression meaning ‘feeling proud’]?”

As Kkotbyeol said, the viewership ratings were soaring as if the wind was at our backs.

It was a truly welcome variable, unlike in my past life.

The staff predicted that the viewership ratings, which had risen to 17% in two weeks, would soon break the 20% barrier.

The amount of mentions on the internet also increased significantly.

It was not comparable to the time of Flat Shoes.

However, that didn’t mean my life changed much.

Rather, I became more responsible and ended up staying in the practice room.

Even today, until Kkotbyeol came to visit, I was rolling around diligently between the camera and the mirror in my training clothes.

“Hehe- Then I’ll go to practice too! I want to be like you, unnie.”

Leaving those admirable words, Kkotbyeol disappeared with her trainer.

After waving my hand, I sighed deeply in the empty practice room again.

I picked up the camcorder and replayed the practice video.

I was practicing the escape sequence that appears in the second half of the work.

It was the most important part, the road Soon-im takes to win over Kim Ik-jae.

“Ah, I didn’t hold back, but it looks like I did. How will the camera capture it?”

I felt like I wanted to go to the location and roll around right away.

“Aigo [expression of frustration or annoyance], practice bug. Are you still not done?”

At that time, Min-young unnie opened the practice room door and came in.

“Unnie, can you watch this for me? This part here.”

When I held out the camcorder, unnie shook her head and pushed it away.

Unnie had a pile of documents in her arms.

“Ah.”

Now that I saw it, unnie’s face was very haggard.

“I’m going to die if you keep showing me these things.”

“Ahaha, unnie is very busy too, right?”

As various scripts, advertisements, and entertainment show offers increased, unnie had been reviewing them directly for weeks, even cutting down on sleep.

I told her to hire more staff.

She had a personality that wouldn’t be satisfied unless everything went through her hands.

“I stopped by because of an advertisement. Even if we postpone the entertainment shows, I have to discuss the advertisements with you.”

“Advertisement….”

I swallowed hard.

It was something I used to only dream about.

“I’ll tell you the details later. First, ‘Seosi’ and ‘Miraggio’ have offered cosmetic model deals, and there’s also an offer for a herbal health supplement advertisement. I guess they contacted you quickly because you’re doing a historical drama.”

Hmm…?

“That’s saying something, considering I’m doing a liquor advertisement.”

“Puh.”

We both burst into laughter at the same time.

“Right. It would be a concept of giving poison and then giving medicine?”

Min-young unnie said with a rare smile.

“Ah, there’s also this. It’s a clothing brand, but it’s a bit… small.”

“Where is it?”

“It’s called Gaia. They’re pushing a concept of using eco-friendly and natural ingredients.”

Oh, that’s good?

Looking back on my past life, the trend would shift towards health and the environment as time went on.

“I want to do that right away.”

“What? Isn’t that too hasty?”

Unnie’s reaction was sullen.

Is it because the amount they offered was small because it’s a small brand?

“The purpose of this kind of brand is good, but you’re a rookie right now. There’s a risk that the brand image might be imposed on you.”

Of course, unnie’s words were also correct.

Established actors with a firm image of their own lead the brand image, but for rookies like me, the brand image could be superimposed on me.

Besides, the brand image could act as a prejudice against me.

Still.

“It’s okay. I’ll do something unconventional for my next work.”

It was an opportunity I couldn’t miss.

It would be advantageous to create that kind of image in advance.

Looking at me like this, Min-young unnie shook her head.

“I don’t know. The more I see you, the less I know you. You’re going to do what you want anyway, right?”

“Hehe, yes.”

“But if you sign an exclusive contract here, you might not be able to do ‘Miraggio.’ Are you okay with that?”

It was the final hurdle.

Miraggio is a high-end cosmetic brand with many stores in department stores.

It was far from an eco-friendly image.

Of course, if it were an established actor who showed various changes in acting by doing many works, there was a possibility of catching both rabbits [idiom meaning to achieve two goals at once].

But actress Han Sena is a rookie who is just starting, so that wouldn’t be possible.

I felt a little bitter.

But it would be better for me to choose long-term gains.

When I nodded, Min-young unnie didn’t ask any more, as if she understood.

“What about the script? Do you want to take a look?”

“Hmm….”

That’s right, it’s time to decide on my next work.

I just said I would do something unconventional. Already….

Why is time passing so quickly?

“I want to decide a little later.”

Then Min-young unnie nodded and patted my shoulder.

“Have a good one. I’m going to go get some sleep now.”

“Okay, rest well.”

I plopped down on the practice room floor again.

One of the reasons why I wanted to postpone deciding on my next work was because of this scene that was right in front of me.

I replayed my appearance in the camcorder several times.

This isn’t it.

It must have been more fierce, more arduous, and more desperate than this.

I began to imagine again the moments of Soon-im that I had not seen.

* * *

“The slope here is steep. Sena, please. You know?”

Director Kang said in a tone that was a little more sensitive than usual.

“I’ll be careful.”

“Yes, please.”

Back at the filming set.

The director, who was on edge because I might get hurt again from overdoing it, was only talking about safety for several minutes, let alone the story of emotions.

The director of photography was also checking the movements several times with a serious face.

“But director, here, when I roll once like this….”

“Sena, your passion is already hot enough, so can you stop?”

Director Kang’s voice eventually rose.

But I couldn’t back down either.

“Let’s try it once first, director. I definitely won’t get hurt. Really, really.”

Director Kang sighed at my words.

When the director nodded, the staff stood in their respective places.

“Let’s go in one take. Everyone, don’t make any mistakes. Ready, action.”

I immediately started running next to the camera rail.

It was the last chance to save the king and save this country.

If this chance is lost.

His Majesty’s country, my Joseon [Korean dynasty], would no longer be strong.

“Search every nook and cranny!”

The voices of the royal guards were heard like fog in the distance.

If I get caught, not only me, but all those who have hope in this country will die.

I felt suffocated by the pressure.

When the wall came out, I hid under it and walked in a low posture.

“Cuckoo!”

At that time, the sound of a bird crying rang out.

It was the sound made by a middle-aged eunuch.

As promised, I turned half a circle with my back to him.

It was a trap of confidence.

“It’s over there! Kill them if they don’t get caught!”

The eunuch ran in the direction I had been running.

Without even seeing his face.

But I didn’t look back.

Maybe he was….

Leaving the bitter thoughts for a moment, I crossed over the wall wearing a dirt-covered robe.

At that moment, there was a sound of something scratching.

The second rail camera was waiting on the other side of the wall.

Forgetting the strange sensation in my leg, I ran out without delay.

The camera quickly chased after me.

For a moment, a group of royal guards discovered this side and approached.

“Catch them!”

I stopped walking in despair, and a group of men with their hair tied up stood facing them with swords.

“Hurry up and go!”

It was a group of young eunuchs.

Sacrifices stained with blood.

I stared at those faces for a very short time and started running again.

The road was still long.

My breath was already up to my chin.

How much further did I run?

“…Cut. Okay!”

Even with the okay sign, my feet ran on their own for a while.

A female assistant director came and blocked my way and hugged me.

“Stop, rest-”

At the same time as those words, the strength in my legs gave way and I collapsed.

As I came out of the scene, the sensation that I had tried so hard to forget earlier rose up.

“Ugh.”

The assistant director discovered the blood on the torn robe.

“That was the sound from earlier. Ah, I can’t live [expression of exasperation]!”

It seemed that my leg was scratched by a protruding corner while crossing the wall.

The more I looked at the wound, the more it hurt.

“Bring the disinfectant, quickly!”

While the staff was busy, my breathing did not stabilize.

The director also jumped up from his seat and squatted in front of me to look at my leg.

“You need to go to the hospital.”

“I can’t!”

There were still many important scenes left in the back.

I didn’t want to break this immersion at all.

The current breathing was a golden opportunity to capture Soon-im well.

“I can’t either. I won’t let you film like this.”

But Director Kang’s expression was firm.

“Director.”

“You can’t be stubborn this time, and you can’t cry either. Go to the hospital first.”

Then he got up and shouted at the set.

“Everyone, filming break.”

Ah….

I bit my lip tightly.

I resented the director.

I Will Live as an Actress in This Life