In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 69

“I must be crazy.”

A curse word slipped out involuntarily.

Jang Do-gyeom looked at me, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Ah, no…”

But next to me, Jung Chae-sung muttered blankly, echoing my thoughts.

“That’s right. He’s really lost it.”

“Indeed…”

Even the staff members were equally stunned.

They were all still reeling from the music.

The entire process of filming the video while listening to that five-minute piece flashed vividly through my mind, from beginning to end.

Even the direction we should take in the future became crystal clear.

If I’m this affected, Chae-sung must feel like his head is about to explode.

Chae-sung stared intently at Jang Do-gyeom.

“Excuse me, how old are you?”

“…Pardon?”

“No, it’s just, you look like you’re in your twenties, but I was wondering if you might be some kind of genius…”

Chae-sung’s words made me chuckle.

In my eyes, Chae-sung also seemed like an eccentric genius, but he had no way of knowing that.

Jang Do-gyeom’s face flushed red, as if he had never received such a compliment before.

“Th-thank you.”

Another staff member spoke up.

“From planning to casting to the OST [Original Soundtrack], it seems like we’re almost completely riding on Sae-na’s coattails.”

I shook my head at that statement.

“No, not at all. After all, the most important thing in video production is capital. What I trust most about Netmate is its financial power.”

Chae-sung also nodded in agreement.

“Everyone’s looking forward to cracking the Korean market, right?”

With that, everyone continued the meeting with expressions of renewed enthusiasm.

* * *

“This is truly… similar yet different, and strangely subtle, wouldn’t you say?”

Three weeks after signing the contract with Jang Do-gyeom, at the Netmate office.

Chae-sung handed over the scripts for parts 1 and 2, which he had written himself.

I had already read the files he sent me by email last night several times.

“What do you mean by that?”

I asked, as Chae-sung’s words sounded ambiguous.

Then, Chae-sung opened the script and explained with a profound look I had never seen before.

“The desire and obsession that Sae-na had for celebrities when she appeared as a *sasaeng* fan [an obsessive fan who stalks or engages in other inappropriate behavior] in Director Hwang Bo-jae-joon’s work, and the desire and obsession to leave a video as a suicide club member on this island. These two are similar but completely different aspects.”

I nodded at his words.

Chae-sung had added a setting to give context to the psychology of my character’s desire to leave a video in the original video.

‘A social psychologist who has taken suicide as a research topic.’

It was a setting that would allow me to express a more obsessive disposition to my heart’s content.

“So, Sae-na will join the suicide cafe with the aim of closely observing people who commit suicide, and then head to the pension where the incident takes place.”

Listening to Chae-sung’s explanation, images of the character began to flourish in my mind.

The desire for obsession welled up with a completely different feel than when I was playing a *sasaeng* fan.

“So, the process of Sae-na entering the island will be included in the drama as a character backstory. We decided to focus on the characters rather than revealing the source of the money.”

I smiled brightly at that story.

The most regrettable part that I had to give up due to various restrictions in the original video was the character backstory.

I wanted to give the characters detail by drawing the process of the characters gathering on the island, but I had to limit myself to expressing it through speech patterns or actions.

Now, I had the capital and a great storyteller to unfold the story without worry.

“After reading the script, I found the backstories of the other characters interesting too.”

When I gave him a thumbs up, Chae-sung suddenly panicked and returned to his usual clumsy self.

“So… so we’re going to do character backstory filming separately first.”

“Where are the locations for everyone? I want to see the process of other people coming to the island!”

I was very excited.

It seemed like it would be so much fun.

As I got closer, Chae-sung leaned back as if he felt burdened.

At that time, my phone vibrated.

– Min-young *unnie* [older sister or close female friend]: You know you have dress fittings coming up, right? I’ve cleared all other schedules.

Ah, that’s right.

I went back to my seat and swept my hair back.

To miss such an interesting opportunity because of dress fittings.

How quickly time flew by.

It had only been two dramas, but the NBS Awards were about to be held.

Chae-sung looked at my suddenly cooled face.

I answered his face, which seemed to be asking what was going on.

“There’s an awards ceremony coming up.”

“…?”

“They say awards season is a war for actresses. I’m now participating as a mercenary there.”

“Ah…”

Chae-sung nodded as if he was amazed.

“Go win an award. So everyone will watch our drama.”

Chae-sung clenched his fist clumsily and held it out.

* * *

So, while all sorts of dress fittings and behind-the-scenes filming of the characters were going on simultaneously.

I arrived on the island in a state where I was about to get sick from all the clothes.

My manager *oppa* [older brother or close male friend] was carrying a huge armful of shopping bags next to me.

As soon as I got off the boat, a magnificent large set was standing right there.

The manager *oppa*, who got off next to me, made a surprised noise.

“Wh-what is this? Is it an island or a country?”

It was truly a pension set that highlighted Netmate’s ambition.

I had heard that they had rented an entire small island.

If you have money, you can structure the screen like this….

While I was realizing the greatness of capital anew(?), Seon Yu-seok and the staff approached from afar.

“*Nuna* [term used by younger males to address older females]! Did you finish filming well?”

“Oh, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“It’s getting colder, so it’s completely eerie here. What’s that?”

Seon Yu-seok showed interest in the shopping bags that the manager *oppa* was holding.

The manager *oppa* silently took out muffler boxes one by one from the shopping bag and handed them to the staff.

It was the 2015 S/S [Spring/Summer] new product of Gaia, an eco-friendly clothing brand that I was in charge of as a model.

It was a gift prepared for the staff who would be filming on the island in the cold winter with the sea breeze.

“Wow, Sae-na! Is this a gift?”

“Wow, the muffler is so pretty.”

“Sae-na is the model for this place! They’ve opened a store in a department store this time, right?”

One of the staff members made a fuss, saying that she had seen my pictorial hanging in a Myeongdong department store.

“The pictorial was so pretty. By the way, Sae-na, other brands must have sent you a lot of inquiries, but why did you take on Gaia?”

A frank question without malice flew in.

“The meaning of the eco-friendly brand is good. Other actresses are better at being flashy and pretty than me.”

“Hey, you’re really too humble!”

I smiled awkwardly at those words.

“At some point, it became more comfortable to wear and apply eco-friendly materials. It’s just as pretty.”

The staff laughed at my words and started taking *injeungshot*s [proof shots, often selfies], gathering together.

“Sae-na, there are rumors all over the drama filming set. That you have a very good personality.”

The lighting director, who had casually wrapped a muffler around his neck, left a word of praise and disappeared.

“Oh, thank you. Please promote the brand around!”

I shouted behind the lighting director, but Seon Yu-seok was standing there looking at me intently.

“Is this… the attitude of a pro?”

I tossed a muffler box to Seon Yu-seok as well.

“It’s really cold.”

I also wrapped the muffler I was wearing around me.

And I stared at the fiercely raging waves in front of the huge pension.

Nature was now adding *mise-en-scène* [the arrangement of scenery and stage properties in a play or film] to the place created by capital.

Chae-sung must be thrilled to death.

At that time, actors I had never seen before approached and greeted me.

They were the two male characters that Chae-sung had added to the script.

Han Hyun-soo, in his mid-30s, playing the role of a securities analyst, and Ahn Hee-chan, a high school student who was a member of the national team but lost his dream due to injury.

In the case of actor Han Hyun-soo, he was not an actor who left a deeply impressive work in either his past life or now.

However, he was an actor who consistently showed stable acting skills in any work.

I remembered hearing that his personality was as calm as his acting skills.

Ahn Hee-chan, who was one year older than Kkot-byeol [Flower Star, Sae-na’s younger sibling], was in his third year of debut and had recently taken on all the male lead roles in school dramas.

He was truly a rising star of youth.

“Hello, I’m Han Hyun-soo. It’s an honor to meet you.”

“Hello! I’m Ahn Hee-chan.”

The two bowed politely.

I also bowed my head and greeted them.

Seon Yu-seok volunteered to be the mood maker despite being a rookie.

“I hope everyone gets close this time!”

So, they quickly started having a friendly conversation.

Then, when Kkot-byeol’s story came out, Hee-chan’s eyes widened.

“Youngwoon Foreign Language High School?! Isn’t that one of the top schools in the country?”

“Hee-chan, are you interested in studying too?”

Hee-chan shook his head at my question.

“No way. I’m completely hopeless when it comes to studying.”

At those words, Seon Yu-seok laughed heartily.

“You can’t be more nervous than Kkot-byeol later, okay?”

While everyone was laughing and chatting to relieve tension, Hyun-soo smiled and naturally left the seat.

He seemed to be setting the mood to immerse himself in the role.

As expected, he’s diligent.

At that time, Chae-sung’s voice echoed from a speaker installed somewhere.

“We will start the rehearsal. Actors, please gather in the backyard of the pension.”

* * *

Two hours after the start of filming, everyone was faced with an unexpected problem.

Difficult expressions appeared on the faces of the actors.

In addition, Chae-sung, who was holding on to the innocent scenario, was also sweating.

Yu-ri, who was standing next to me, said to herself.

“This is emotional overkill.”

Yu-ri’s gaze was directed at her own image acting in the monitor.

I also quietly watched Jang So-young, played by Yu-ri, in the monitor.

Jang So-young lost her family and lived relying only on her boyfriend, but he swindled all her assets and she came to this island.

Jang So-young was full of life in the monitor.

She was crying and expressing her difficult emotions to her heart’s content everywhere.

Like someone who is about to shake it off and get up soon.

Chae-sung also didn’t seem to like such Jang So-young very much.

Yu-ri said to me as if complaining.

“Is it because the backstory was added? There’s a time difference between the director and me in interpreting the character’s emotions. Jang So-young feels unfamiliar.”

At that time, Senior Jang Hee-young, who was standing far away, raised her hand slightly.

“Director.”

Chae-sung turned to where the senior was, saying, “Yes.”

“My character has changed a bit since Hyun-soo came in as Kyu-hwan, right? But when I try to express that character, it keeps getting a little ambiguous… ?”

Next to her, Senior Won Hye-rim, who had a face that seemed to be holding something back, also opened her mouth.

“Director, I can’t see Young-sil.”

Everyone’s eyes were focused on Senior Won Hye-rim.

“Young-sil is a very attractive and tough woman. But I can’t see that raw charm here.”

As soon as the senior’s words were finished, the eyes of the people on the set were fixed on Chae-sung’s back.

이번 생은 악녀 말고 배우로 죽겠습니다 [I’ll die as an actress, not a villain, in this life].