In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 71

A few days later.

The set was slowly coming back to life.

Senior Won Hye-rim was glued to Chaeseong, nagging him all day long.

“You know, Director. About Youngsil. Doesn’t she look too sexy?”

“Yes, yes… Huh?”

Chaeseong had lost weight in the meantime, his cheeks sunken.

“Youngsil shouldn’t be sexy, she needs to look a bit cheap. That’s what I’m struggling with right now.”

Chaeseong’s pupils darted around rapidly.

Senior Jang Hee-young, who was smoking a cigarette in the back, stepped in to save the young director.

“Hey, hey, that’s your job to figure out.”

“Oppa [older brother or male friend], stay out of it. I need to discuss everything with the director.”

Senior Won Hye-rim looked at Kim Eunseo and me, who were looking at the script together.

“The young actors are doing so well. How can I just sit still?”

Kim Eunseo and I could only laugh at her words.

It seemed the momentum of the fresh rookies, who were holding their own, had ignited a fire in the senior actress.

“Director, should I go to the mainland and get my hair permed even tighter?”

Senior Won Hye-rim looked into the mirror with a slightly upset expression.

Chaeseong, who had been rolling his eyes, carefully took the mirror from her.

“The Youngsil I envisioned is a romantic at heart.”

Senior Won Hye-rim’s eyes widened slightly at Chaeseong’s words.

“She’s a woman who always craves love and wants to fill that void, but she’s been betrayed many times as she’s gotten older. That’s when reality takes precedence over love for Youngsil.”

I also perked up my ears, listening to Chaeseong’s interpretation of the character.

“The feelings of love that Youngsil confessed before killing Yoonwoo wouldn’t have been fake. Youngsil is sincere in every moment. However, on this island, she’s just applying what she’s learned from the past to protect herself. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”

“Love for those who love me, betrayal for those who betray me. Is that it?”

Senior Won Hye-rim nodded and said.

“Yes. So, the gestures of Youngsil that you’re worried about now… well, whether she looks sexy or ‘that kind of vibe’ comes off…”

“Cheap?”

“Yes, yes… think of it that way. Actions that someone who uses their own weakness, their thirst for love, as a weapon would take. Gestures that are so honest that they’re always committed without hesitation.”

When did Chaeseong become so eloquent?

I listened quietly, impressed.

“Actions to be loved by this man tonight, no matter what happens afterward, the courage to even kill someone to get money right away. Youngsil isn’t a smart or far-sighted woman, so there will be gestures and words that come from that.”

Senior Won Hye-rim’s expression became serious as she listened.

“I hope that people will frown at such Youngsil but not easily forget her.”

After the story ended, Senior Won Hye-rim bowed to the young director and headed inside the pension.

She seemed to be reviewing what she had just heard and trying to talk to Youngsil.

Then, Senior Jang Hee-young, who had been listening quietly next to her, rushed at Chaeseong like a shot.

“Director, I’m like…”

Chaeseong listened to the senior actor’s story with tired eyes, drinking coffee.

Seeing that, I chuckled.

Kim Eunseo folded her script next to me and said quietly.

“Where did you meet that director?”

“He was the assistant director for ‘Flat Shoes’.”

“Are you collecting Dragon Balls or something?” [Referring to the anime Dragon Ball, where collecting all the Dragon Balls grants a wish.]

As I was about to answer, Senior Jang Hee-young started acting in front of Chaeseong, shouting loudly.

Chaeseong looked at the older actor in front of him with a startled face.

I bit my lip tightly to hold back my laughter as I watched him.

Whatever the appearance, communication between the actors and the director was becoming smoother.

* * *

After finishing the morning shoot.

In a corner of the pension set, I sat in front of a laptop borrowed from a staff member.

Hyunsoo brushed the sand off his head as he approached.

Hyunsoo was the first to die in the previous shoot.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m curious about the rough cut.”

“Oh, I’m curious too.”

Hyunsoo sat down next to me.

“Do you usually watch the rough cut every time you shoot?”

I shook my head at Hyunsoo’s question.

“No, I have some things to study this time.”

I replied to Hyunsoo, who was giving me a questioning look.

“I had a lot of frustrating points when I made a video myself for the first time last time. I’m trying to learn by comparing. I think it helps with acting too.”

Hyunsoo smiled slightly at my words.

“I think there’s a lot to learn from you in many ways, Saena.”

“Oh, come on. No, I’m not.”

“Saena convinced the director too, right?”

Hyunsoo asked an unexpected question.

“Uh……”

“Everyone knows, like me, even if they don’t say it. Saena is helping the director a lot behind the scenes without making him lose face. Our actors were able to film smoothly thanks to you.”

Hyunsoo spoke in his usual soft voice.

“Thank you.”

I scratched my head awkwardly at the word thank you.

Hyunsoo reached out and played the edited video.

While watching, I started taking notes in a notebook with a pen.

How the scene was directed differently from similar scenes in the previous video.

How lighting and sound were used to maximize the scene.

I checked how it was similar to and different from the foreign films that Chaeseong had referenced.

The videos I uploaded to iTube were becoming more and more embarrassing.

I should have studied a little more before uploading them.

Well, if I had studied too much and uploaded them, the raw feeling might not have come alive.

Outside, I could hear Kkotbyeol and Heechan laughing and running around.

“I’ll kill you if I catch you!”

Kkotbyeol chased after Heechan, who was running away playfully.

The two always turned the cold beach into a summer beach resort atmosphere.

“Those friends are funny too.”

Hyunsoo looked up for a moment and smiled.

“Right?”

Kkotbyeol and Heechan had the most opposite relationship inside and outside the camera.

Inside the frame, the energetic and impulsive ‘Seonggyeol’ always talked to the sullen and depressed ‘Eunchae’, but then got angry and turned away…

“Ugh, stop eating my Jeti! You pig!”

“Hey, he told you to stop eating it. Why do you keep taking the kid’s stuff?”

Outside the frame, Kkotbyeol never gave in.

Then Seonyuseok intervened in their fight.

“Hyung [older brother] told me to steal two!”

Kkotbyeol stopped abruptly and looked at Seonyuseok in disbelief.

Seonyuseok smiled embarrassedly.

Oh, my god, the level outside the camera…

As soon as I made eye contact with Seonyuseok through the window, I turned my head slightly.

* * *

Two weeks later, already the last day of the year.

I was starting to feel less and less excited about spending the end of the year and the beginning of the new year on set.

Why is time passing so quickly?

People on set with similar situations gathered in the living room of the accommodation.

“I drank alcohol and had my fortune told last time… the fortune teller said that my end of the year would be a storm itself.”

The filming director, who had a subtle sense of humor, opened his mouth.

“Oh my, oh my.”

Staff members quickly gathered around him.

“I was in a bad mood, so I got angry, saying, ‘What kind of place is this?’ But look outside now. It’s exactly right.”

The sound of the waves that didn’t seem to subside was crashing outside the window.

“Oh my gosh, why did you get angry?”

“Where is it? I want to go too.”

Then another filming director threw a word while chewing on dried corn, as if he had no interest.

“Director Choi, don’t you know yet? From the moment we picked up the camera, our lives are just a storm.”

And he picked up the remote control and turned on the TV.

“Ah, why are you turning on the TV when the atmosphere is good?”

Director Noh turned on the NBS Awards Ceremony.

“Ah, no!”

I was listening to the story quietly next to him, and I snatched the remote control from the director.

The awards ceremony was in full swing live on the screen.

The people in the accommodation fixed their eyes on the TV.

“The winner of the NBS Drama Awards for Best Actress!”

“Oh, is this it?”

People’s eyes widened.

Senior Jang Hee-young smiled mischievously as if it was fun.

“It’s perfect now. Our main character is coming out!”

“Song Soon-im, the flower that crossed the palace walls. Han Saena! Congratulations!”

Next to me, Chaeseong popped the champagne as soon as the host finished speaking, as if he had been waiting for it.

Listening to the cheerful sound of the pop, people laughed and raised their glasses.

“Congratulations, Saena!”

“Congratulations!”

My face was burning.

“Hey, the real highlight is coming out now. Focus, focus.”

“Han Saena, who will receive the Best Actress Award, is currently filming her next film in the outback, so she has prepared her acceptance speech in a video for the viewers. Let’s watch it together!”

The awards ceremony screen switched to my self-camera video.

“Agh! Please!”

My scream echoed in the living room of the accommodation.

In the video, I was wearing an elegant gray chiffon dress and smiling awkwardly.

The old wallpaper background that didn’t match my outfit made me look even more ridiculous.

It was the only decent place I could find on the set.

The actors and staff next to me laughed out loud.

In the video, I opened my mouth with a slightly reddened face.

“Hello, this is Han Saena. I apologize for only being able to convey my gratitude through video. Still, I’m wearing a dress on this deserted island to give it a year-end awards ceremony feel… Do I look okay?”

Watching it, I laughed in vain.

Isn’t this going to be engraved as my dark history?

“Wow, Han Saena is a real pro.”

Senior Jang Hee-young, who had teased me the most on the day of the video shoot, applauded.

It was Minyoung’s strong argument that I had to wear a dress even in the acceptance speech video.

‘Of course, you have to wear it? Then what, are you going to wear anything and give your acceptance speech? It’s the Best Actress Award, so how can you do that? And how did I get this dress!’

The last word must have been her true feelings.

Minyoung, who was especially serious about selecting dresses this year, collapsed when she couldn’t attend the awards ceremony.

Watching her, I closed my eyes tightly and decided to wear the dress.

Our Geunbonies [fanbase name] will like it too…

“2014 was truly the year of Gwolkkot for me. I can’t say enough that I’ve been living with the thought of this work since last year… I’m most honored that I was able to play such a wonderful person as Song Soon-im.”

In the video, my expression was gradually becoming calmer.

It felt strange to see myself on the big screen.

Soonim’s face came to my mind after a long time.

“I’m still not sure if I’m the right person to replace Soonim’s face. So, above all, this award is by no means an award that I receive alone. I would like to thank everyone who participated in the work together. Many people put in a lot of effort to create and embrace Soonim, so it was a warm year. Thank you.”

I wanted to say thank you to Soonim too.

I wonder how she’s doing now.

“Yes, we have heard your acceptance speech well. We hope you finish filming well, and congratulations again.”

The people who were watching next to me gave me a word of congratulations.

“Congratulations again, Saena.”

“You said you’ll be twenty-six when the new year comes. Wow, Best Actress at that age.”

“Let’s see each other often in the future, Saena!”

“Thank you, everyone.”

Then the TV screen briefly switched to the scene in front of Bosingak [a bell pavilion in Seoul where a traditional bell-ringing ceremony takes place to mark the new year].

“Now, we are showing you the scene in front of Bosingak. 10 seconds left! 7, 6, 5…”

The people sitting around in the living room shouted the countdown happily.

“3, 2, 1! Happy New Year!!”

“Happy New Year, everyone!”

The clear sound of the bell flowed out of the TV.

I Will Die as an Actress in This Life