In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 75

Back in Seoul after the filming.

I was sitting idly next to Min-young unnie [older sister or close female friend] in the office, spacing out while she was as busy as ever.

“Hey, you’re being distracting. Go home if you’re going to be like that.”

“…I haven’t said a word.”

My phone vibrated with a text message.

-Sena, did you finish filming well? Our movie hit 150,000 viewers on the first day!

It was a text from Director Hwang Bo-jae-joon.

-Congratulations, Director!

-Congratulations to you too, Sena. Did you see the articles? Everyone’s going crazy. They’re saying you’re so good at acting, haha. Other directors around me are asking me to introduce you.

The director was showering me with compliments as usual.

-The trailer video seems to be getting a good response too. I hope this controversy gets resolved well too.

It was about the trailer for , which Netmate strategically released the day before yesterday.

Netmate generously released a 10-minute trailer video, whereas usually, trailers are released in 1 to 2-minute clips.

‘Usually, trailers are released in about two or three parts, but we’re going to release just one 10-minute preview. This is how we’re responding to the current controversy. Don’t worry, Sena,’

It was a phone call I received from the person in charge a few days before the trailer was released.

I wondered what they meant by responding to the controversy, but that bewilderment turned into surprise as soon as I saw the trailer.

The video, which opened the drama by going through the lens of a camcorder, showed a series of four or five episode scenes.

Within it, the psychological thriller segment where I faced off against Kwon Jae-hyung was quite long.

And it was the last scene.

That scene was also Chae-sung’s favorite scene when filming, and it was also a major part of the drama.

It was a way that I had rarely seen before, and I thought, ‘Is it okay to reveal such an important scene in advance?’….

-It definitely looks better with more money invested. I want to see it soon.

-Han Sena is really crazy good. You can’t criticize her acting skills. Han Sena is definitely the best actress in her 20s when it comes to acting.

-It seems like Han Sena will come out even crazier than Kwon Jae-hyung. What is it?

-Still, no cliquey behavior. Everyone, please reflect.

Of course, there were still people who were critical.

I felt like the atmosphere had suddenly changed.

I had that thought as I looked through the comments.

Perhaps Netmate is more confident in me and the actors than I am in myself.

It was a video that felt like a strategy to quell the controversy with acting skills.

In fact, people’s attention seemed to be shifting from the external ‘controversy’ to ‘acting.’

‘No wonder big capital is circulating here.’

The production team must have had meetings for days about this trailer video.

I turned off the director’s text and searched for articles related to .

I hadn’t been looking on purpose.

As soon as I scrolled down to the comments section, my names caught my eye.

Suddenly, my hands started to sweat.

-I was tired of the same old melodramas, but this is new. A story about a sasaeng [an obsessive fan who stalks or engages in other inappropriate behavior].

-I don’t know if the main character is Kwon Jae-hyung or Han Sena. Han Sena’s acting is so scary.

-Guys, Han Sena only appears in 6 cuts in this video. She really ate up the movie with just 6 cuts.

-At this point, honestly, the director and senior actors must all adore her. How can you not want to be close to someone who’s so good?

-I watched the movie today and even watched the trailer video for . I became a fan of Han Sena, regardless of the controversy.

The negative views related to me had noticeably diminished.

Even more so than in the comments related to the trailer video.

I was a little taken aback and focused on reading….

“Are you reading the comments?”

Min-young unnie asked.

“Yes. It’s amazing….”

“It changes so quickly, right? Different yesterday, different today. It’ll be different again tomorrow. That’s always the case in this industry.”

Unnie said it casually, as if she had already seen it.

“I guess so, unnie.”

“That’s why I’m telling you not to worry. The more you do the acting you want to do, the more people will focus on watching it.”

I nodded at her words.

I turned off the screen and put down my phone.

“By the way, how are you going to wear the Hanho dress?”

“Ah, the dress.”

[Hanho Arts Awards Nominees in Each Category]

The Hanho Arts Awards nominations article was posted last night.

As if to coincide with the timing, Director Hwang Bo-jae-joon’s was released, and as my controversy subsided, Hanho immediately announced the nominees for the Best Actress Award.

“Well…. Do you think I’ll be able to win an award again this time?”

It’s already been a year since I received the Best New Actress Award at Hanho.

The announcement was particularly late this year.

Perhaps Hanho was also watching how my controversy was unfolding.

not only nominated for Best Actress but also for Best Picture, and Senior Won Hye-rim was nominated for the Grand Prize, making it three nominations in total.

Unnie shrugged as if she didn’t know.

“I guess the awards are up to the people who give them, not the people who receive them.”

I guess so.

Whether I receive an award or not, I’m grateful for everything.

I sank deep into the sofa.

Even though I had rested for a few days, I still felt tired.

I had the illusion that I could hear the sound of waves far away in my ears.

“You’re tired. You suffered for weeks on that island in the cold.”

Unnie clicked her tongue as she looked at me.

“I guess so.”

Unnie clicked her tongue again at my answer.

“What do you mean, ‘I guess so’? Do you think it’s just because of the filming? You’ve been troubled inside all along.”

I didn’t answer Unnie.

Really, I was so out of it because of the articles, the comments, and the calls coming from everywhere.

Whether I went home or went outside, everyone only talked to me about ‘that controversy.’

Everyone showed concern before they even greeted me.

Even Mom and Dad, who knocked on my door every morning with more cautious hands.

‘Sena, should I put food in your room?’

Even when I went to the supermarket in front of my house.

‘Hang in there, Sena. was fun.’

Even when I went to the gym to work out.

‘Work out hard and become pretty, so you can definitely crush Heo So-jin’s nose, just like that.’

I don’t really need to crush Heo So-jin’s nose.

I was tired.

“So, what dress are you going to wear?”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Unnie turned off the computer and got up.

“Let’s go, I’ve made a reservation at the fitting shop.”

* * *

The main branch of the Hanbok [traditional Korean dress] designer brand ‘Hong Mae Hwa.’

“No, why suddenly talking about Hanbok?”

Min-young unnie whispered in a small voice so that no one else could hear.

“I was the female lead in a pretty good historical drama, so it would be nice to commemorate it like this.”

Unnie shook her head at my answer.

“This is too much. Even more than the awards ceremony video last time!”

I laughed at her words.

Unnie’s words were somewhat correct.

However, as I thought about putting an end to the long journey of Gyeolkkot at this awards ceremony, I wanted to remember it in my own special way.

It’s okay to be a little over the top.

Because it’s a time that will never come again.

Then the designer appeared with a thick sketchbook.

“Thank you for waiting. Let’s take a look.”

The kind designer came out barefoot to greet me, even though I had made a sudden appointment.

She was a woman in her early 40s, with a contrasting stern impression and kind voice tone.

Song Hong-mae.

She was about to make a name for herself worldwide by branding Hanboks with modern designs.

In my past life, I remembered the Hong Mae Hwa pictorials taken by top stars from home and abroad.

They were unique and very beautiful photos.

This place would not only collaborate with famous overseas fashion brands but would also receive a commendation from the Minister of Culture, Sports and Tourism someday.

Before opening the sketchbook, I first expressed my apologies.

“But the awards ceremony is in the first week of March, so there’s only a month left.”

Then the designer put on her horn-rimmed glasses and said firmly.

“A month is enough.”

“Ah….”

“Our Hanbok is going to the Hanho Arts Awards, so we have to make sure it’s perfect. Many people will be watching.”

After saying that, the designer spread out the sketchbook with a flourish.

“These are Hanbok dress designs that I’ve been saving because I haven’t had a chance to show them yet. I don’t know if there’s anything you’ll like.”

The sketches began to unfold one by one.

I couldn’t help but admire them from the first page.

The dresses, expressed with pencils and watercolor paints, were so beautiful.

The designs crossed the boundaries of tradition and modernity, highlighting each line.

I could clearly see the designer’s deep and sensual concerns.

“Oh…?”

Min-young unnie, who had been looking at the sketches with displeasure, also widened her eyes.

“How did you find out about this place?”

Min-young unnie asked me again, subtly.

I pretended not to hear her words and ignored them.

Meanwhile, the designer continued to turn the sketchbook.

After a while, as the thick pages were almost coming to an end.

“…And this is the last dress.”

Min-young unnie and I looked at the sketch as if our breaths had stopped at the same time.

A thin, yet voluminous skirt that emphasized the feminine line, and a short jeogori [the upper garment of a Hanbok] that tightly covered the arms.

The separated top and bottom looked like a single dress.

The dress had no special decorations or patterns, but it didn’t feel bland at all.

A feeling of being full rather than empty.

The dress, which had an overall light blue hue, seemed to be made by grinding pearls.

“…It’s beautiful.”

To think that the review that comes out of my mouth after seeing such a beautiful work is just a humble adjective.

“It’s like a fairy’s clothes. It’s like clothes specially gifted from the sky to a cherished human.”

Min-young unnie’s review was a little better.

The designer smiled as if she had already anticipated the reaction.

“It’s a work I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I was hoping who would wear it as much as I cherish it, and it became Sena.”

I felt a little burdened by those words.

“Is it okay for me to wear it?”

“Of course, it’s an honor. Sena is also giving me the opportunity to make a dress.”

The designer gestured for me to follow her and headed to where the fabrics were.

Min-young unnie followed her, as if possessed.

* * *

First week of February.

News came that had surpassed 5 million viewers in 3 weeks on the Internet.

Fueled by that, expectations for were also increasing.

And finally, today.

“Ugh, I’m nervous.”

I opened my laptop and went to the Netmate website.

The trailer video for was playing in large letters on the main screen.

Netmate released the entire series all at once, boldly.

was rising in the real-time trending searches.

For some reason, it was difficult to click on the related articles.

[Netmate’s , which had many ups and downs, is released in full force]

[Please don’t let our drama be trapped on ‘Interest Island,’ will Netmate’s earnest wish come true?]

[Public opinion on …]

“The titles are quite flashy.”

As expected, after being hit hard by the media once, I’m scared in many ways.

I squeezed my eyes shut and clicked on a random article link.

– The actors are crazy. Each and every character is so good. Why do I sympathize with Jang So-young so much? I’m thinking of my trashy ex-boyfriend.

– A student preparing for the college entrance exam is crying while watching Kim Min-kyung. It’s so sad. Don’t die.

– I’m a father in my 50s. Seeing Jang Hee-young’s acting makes my heart ache. Fighting to all the fathers in Korea.

– After reading the comments, I think the director has incorporated the concerns of each age group into the characters. Amazing. I heard it’s the director’s debut work.

– Why isn’t Lee Seok-hyun in the cliquey drama? Did Han Sena and Lee Seok-hyun fight? LOL

Comments related to the controversy had almost disappeared.

It was all about the drama’s content and characters.

Should I go to the fan cafe while I’m at it?

And as soon as I went in, the first thing that caught my eye was….