In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 82

James continued the feedback, having received the baton.

“I can see the style of flexibly dealing with various situations. What is the purpose of participating in this workshop, Aiden?”

I paused for a moment at David’s question.

“I… I want to focus more on delicate emotional expressions.”

“Yes, good.”

David nodded and looked away as if to have someone else try.

I quickly raised my hand.

“I want to hear James’ feedback too.”

Then James, who had been wearing an indifferent expression, smiled slightly.

“Okay, Aiden… As a veteran, are you ready to lose face in front of the aspirants [aspiring actors]?”

James threw a provocative question.

I stared straight at his face.

“Yes, go ahead. Since I was born a skinny, red-haired white man, I’ve always lost face.”

I threw the words back in James’ style.

Laughter erupted from all over the lecture hall.

People applauded my self-deprecating humor.

James threw his head back and laughed heartily.

Then, he pointed at me with his finger and made a gesture that he had been watching me closely.

“I like you, friend. Okay, I’ll be blunt. It sucks.”

The workshop, which had been a sea of laughter, suddenly became quiet.

A hollow laugh escaped on its own.

James, seeing my dumbfounded laughing face, explained without paying attention.

“There’s nothing of your own. You pretend to be improvising, but it’s all stuff you’ve seen somewhere. So, you’re just smart rather than creative. Good at mixing things.”

“…!”

“You’re dyed in so many things. I dare to advise you to throw it all away. There are plenty of actors in the world who act with their heads. Of course, that’s not easy either, but that’s not enough. Maybe you know that too. That’s why you came here.”

I was speechless.

“Aiden, I’ll ask you again. What is your goal in participating in this workshop?”

James threw the question.

“Delicate emotions? Even an amateur would say such ordinary nonsense.”

“…….”

I couldn’t find the words to answer.

My goal….

About a minute passed.

“Okay, next.”

When my answer didn’t come, James turned his gaze to someone else.

In the meantime, James asked a woman he made eye contact with.

“Name?”

“It’s Han Sae-na.”

“Want to try?”

“Shall I?”

A woman named Han Sae-na stood up without hesitation.

It was the Asian woman I saw earlier.

“We’ll do a pair performance too.”

Han Sae-na came to the front of the lecture hall with her young friend.

The two had a brief meeting in a foreign language that I couldn’t understand.

The atmosphere in the lecture hall was still quiet.

Han Sae-na nodded, looking at James as if she was ready.

Then, without revealing what the concept was, she said.

“We’ll start.”

“Okay. Ready, action.”

The young woman stood in the middle of the stage.

Han Sae-na smiled and began to dance around the young woman.

It was a waltz, drawing a soft circle with her steps.

The young woman laughed, following Han Sae-na’s dance with her eyes.

“Who are you?”

Han Sae-na continued to dance without answering.

Then, she approached the woman and reached out her hands.

As if to ask her to dance together.

The woman grabbed Han Sae-na’s hand with a slightly embarrassed face.

The woman, who started dancing together like that, stepped clumsily as if it was her first time waltzing.

The woman stepped on Han Sae-na’s feet several times.

The sight didn’t seem like acting.

The young woman was really learning to waltz on the spot.

The woman kept asking, looking at Han Sae-na’s feet and following her.

“Who are you? Why did you come here? Why are we waltzing?”

The woman looked confused.

Han Sae-na didn’t answer.

“Please answer!”

I was also confused.

What is that concept?

What kind of character is it?

What emotion are you trying to express?

Why are you waltzing and not talking?

While watching the two women’s performance, countless questions poured into my head.

But the woman slowly began to learn to waltz.

The clumsy movements gradually matched Han Sae-na.

Han Sae-na led slowly, considerate of the woman.

Gradually, the two people’s harmony matched, and the speed of the waltz gradually increased.

The woman stopped talking and focused only on dancing for a while.

And, the woman no longer asked Han Sae-na any questions.

She was just holding hands with her friend in front of her and waltzing happily.

Every time the two people’s steps matched perfectly, I felt joy.

It was really nothing special, but I was strangely drawn to it.

‘Why….’

The woman, who had been looking at the floor all the time, raised her head and looked at Han Sae-na’s face.

Han Sae-na had been looking at the woman with a warm smile all along.

Only then did the woman smile and respond.

In completing the waltz, it no longer mattered who each other was.

The people in the workshop who were watching the two people all had warm smiles on their faces at some point.

Like Han Sae-na’s face.

And me too….

I didn’t want to interpret the meaning anymore.

Because I already knew the meaning.

People started applauding before the two women finished their performance.

James also got up from his seat and clapped his hands to the rhythm of the waltz.

I also shouted loudly, clapping my hands together.

“Bravo!”

It was a strange thing.

Just watching the two women’s improvisation of matching waltz steps made my heart flutter.

The two women finished the waltz, listening to the applause.

Both were smiling brightly.

It was perfect.

If waltzing is about completing a dance by being considerate of the other person’s rhythm, steps, and flow, then these two people’s waltz was perfect.

Strangers meeting for the first time, matching each other, and sharing breath.

It felt like a metaphor for our lives.

To convey so many emotions and realizations with such easy and simple expressions.

She was a talented person who could convey complex topics in the simplest way.

I stared intently at Han Sae-na’s face.

* * *

Workshop, 4th day.

LA was sunny without a single cloud for 4 days.

Already a little used to it, I sat on a bench with Flower Star in front of the workshop, basking in the sun.

My skin seemed a little tanned.

I drank the freshly brewed espresso in one gulp.

Flower Star frowned at me as if it was more bitter for her.

And said.

“I don’t know how time is passing.”

“Right?”

“But I think it’s really helpful.”

Flower Star’s eyes were sunken as she said that.

It was because she was tired from adjusting to the time difference.

I also felt sluggish all over my body.

The schedule of practicing at the workshop all day and returning to the hotel in the evening to prepare for the next day’s practice had been repeated for over a week.

But I felt good.

I replied to Flower Star.

“Yeah, me too. I’m glad I came.”

Both were learning little by little.

Flower Star, who had the charm of rawness, was complementing the disadvantage that her expressions felt somewhat rough and sharp.

In a word, she was learning skills.

A common process that amateurs go through to become professionals.

I was gradually increasing my sense of physical expression, which I always felt was lacking compared to emotional expression.

Before, even if I got a scene where body usage was important, I would be very nervous from a week before, but now I felt a little more comfortable.

American-style emotions, learning acting with extroverted gestures, was strangely helpful.

I wasn’t afraid to use big movements.

Should I learn modern dance once I go back to Korea this time?

They say it’s the best way to improve expression.

I wanted to go to Teacher Yoon Young-jae quickly and brag about the blocking [stage direction and movement] I learned here.

I also wanted to compare it with the teacher’s method.

If I brag a lot, maybe the teacher will try to come to the American workshop too.

I smiled to myself.

But Flower Star said in a small voice next to me.

“Oh, sister…? He’s coming to us?”

“Huh?”

At the end of Flower Star’s gaze, workshop coach David was walking this way.

Oh.

David waved his hand and naturally came and sat next to me.

“How long have you been acting?”

I was slightly embarrassed by the sudden question.

“Uh….”

Wait, how many years should I say.

How old am I this year?

If I started from high school…

“A little less than 10 years.”

Then David raised and lowered his eyebrows as if surprised.

“I’ve been watching your acting with great interest. James and I talked a lot about Sae-na.”

“Oh, really?”

Did the two talk about me?

Suddenly my heart was pounding.

“Do you have any work lined up after the workshop?”

“…?”

I tried to hide my embarrassment and smiled.

“Nothing has been decided yet.”

Then David smiled.

“That’s good.”

“Yes?”

“I have something to confess to Sae-na. You know Warners Pictures, right?”

Warners Pictures?

David suddenly mentioned a production company that makes global hero action movies.

“Yes.”

My heart was beating faster and faster.

“They’re recruiting for a new hero role there. They’re especially struggling to select an Asian female character. But by chance….”

David paused for a moment.

“….”

No way.

“By chance, we have a talented Asian talent in our class, right? So I recommended you there.”

David handed over the script he was holding rolled up in one hand.

“Yes?!”

Surprised, I looked down at the script I received with naturally widened eyes.

It wasn’t even an audition invitation, but a recommendation?

“I’m sorry for recommending you without permission. But I only met them for a short time, so I was in a hurry.”

Flower Star next to me was going crazy.

“Jackpot, jackpot! What are you going to do, sister! What is going on! Call Min-young right now!!”

David smiled again, looking at Flower Star, and got up from his seat.

“Think about it. The choice is up to Sae-na. But I’m sure it will be a good opportunity in my opinion.”

David winked at me and turned around.

I just stared blankly at David’s receding figure.

So suddenly…?

Am I dreaming right now?

* * *

‘What? Are you crazy???’

Hotel room after the workshop.

Min-young’s fussiness was heard over the receiver.

‘Are you going to be a global star now?’

“Oh, sister. Can I do it?”

I was dumbfounded after receiving the audition offer, but I was worried first.

‘It’s not a matter of whether you can do it, you have to do it!’

“That’s right, isn’t it…?”

What if I go out wrong and get cursed globally, not a global star.

My sister seemed to know my worries and said.

“Hey, there are hundreds of actors who are auditioning there with recommendations. The probability of not being selected is higher. Shouldn’t you go first? Like that person said, it’s just a good opportunity. Just going into the audition room.”

I nodded to myself after hearing those words.

It might be too much of a thought.

I haven’t been cast yet, and I might not be able to meet this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity again.

My heart kept pounding.

“Sister, I’m nervous.”

‘You’ll do well.’

I bit my lip after hearing those words.

I don’t know if I can do well or not, but I have to do my best as always.

So that I’m not ashamed of myself.

I turned my head and looked at the calendar on the wall.

Min-young asked just in time.

‘When is the audition?’