In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 87

“Strike!”

The bowling pins fell in unison, making a satisfying crash.

A private bowling alley in Gangnam [a wealthy district in Seoul, South Korea, known for its upscale lifestyle].

It had been a while since I gathered with the cast.

Thanks to the continued popularity of , we were having a small celebration.

Plus, my casting in and Flower Star’s casting in the North American version of were all reasons to celebrate.

Flower Star scored three consecutive strikes all by herself.

“Flower Star, are you training to be a professional bowler? Why are you so good?”

Senior Jang Hee-young widened her eyes.

Flower Star wiped away sweat and smiled.

“I come here often with my parents!”

On the other hand….

“Ugh, bowling is so difficult.”

Whenever I grabbed the ball, it wouldn’t even make it halfway down the lane and would veer off into the next one.

People chuckled.

“Sena, we’ve finally found something you can’t do. Haven’t you bowled before?”

Seon Yu-seok openly pointed out my awkward form.

“Noona [term used by younger males to address older females], you’re not supposed to throw the ball like that! It’s not shot put! Are you trying to break the ceiling?”

“No, it’s just not working out.”

Frustrated, I grabbed the ball again and rolled it….

Thud-.

The heavy ball flew forward and plummeted to the ground.

And once again, it rolled into the next lane.

Then, Kim Eun-seo and the other team members burst into laughter.

“Sena, thanks in advance! We’re getting to bowl without paying.”

“I heard you have to be good at sports to be popular in America, so will you be okay?”

Hearing those words, my shoulders drooped.

“I’m actually worried that I won’t be able to act, let alone play sports.”

Kim Eun-seo shook her head.

“That drama queen! It’s a habit of yours to pretend to be nervous when you’re always going to do well.”

“No, I’m serious.”

As I was pleading my case, Yuri changed the subject.

“But Sena, how did you even consider rejecting Warner Bros.?”

Then the other actors looked at me with expressions that showed their curiosity.

I hesitated slightly, looking at the people staring at me.

“Well… it’s not that I didn’t like the Warner Bros. project, I just wanted to do more.”

Then Seon Yu-seok’s mouth dropped open.

“How can you give such a textbook answer? You’re not going to give this kind of answer everywhere else, are you, Noona?”

“Why?”

Kim Eun-seo looked at me, a little dumbfounded.

“He’s like that sometimes in weird ways. I don’t know if it’s because she’s oblivious or what. It’s hard to persuade people with words like that.”

Persuade….

A situation where I had to persuade everyone, people I’d never even met, about a decision I made regarding my future.

It felt very unfamiliar.

Senior Won Hye-rim, who had been quietly watching me, spoke up instead.

“If Sena says so, then that’s how it is. This kind of issue is only temporary.”

Senior Jang Hee-young also nodded and said.

“I heard it’s a story about a Korean adoptee. That in itself is meaningful, and it’ll be difficult too. Plus, it must be even more burdensome in this situation.”

Hearing those words, I sighed deeply.

“Yes, that’s why I’m not confident. I’m also scared to step forward.”

Senior Won Hye-rim nudged my shoulder.

“Oh my? This is the first time I’ve seen Han Sena like this.”

“Don’t lose heart! If you lose heart from the start, even things you could have done well won’t work out.”

“Yes.”

“Call me anytime if you’re having a hard time.”

I smiled at those words.

At that time, Hyun-soo, who had been quietly listening to the conversation, spoke up.

“Still, you’re going to be exhausted from having to explain yourself here and there from now on. Be prepared, Sena.”

I felt a serious warning beneath Hyun-soo’s gentle and calm tone.

* * *

A week later, back in LA.

I headed straight to the reading location with Aiden, who had been waiting at the airport.

In Aiden’s car, which I had become familiar with.

I was looking at the articles that were pouring out non-stop.

And the comments underneath.

-They’re going into filming soon. It’s really a shame. Couldn’t they have adjusted the schedule to film both?

-Then who’s going to fill that Asian’s spot?

-It was a Korean’s first and maybe last chance to break into Warner Bros.

-Han Sena is really stubborn.

-Was this the best choice?

I sighed slightly and put my phone down again.

As we were almost there, I opened my mouth to divert my attention.

“Aiden, do you know any of the other actors?”

Aiden shook his head at my question.

“No. I don’t even know all the casting for the other roles. I don’t know anyone.”

I felt even more nervous when Aiden said that.

I couldn’t shake off the pressure that I had to deliver a good performance here, having given up Warner Bros.

I leaned my head against the window and recalled the dream I had last night.

I was watching the completed in a movie theater, and I was giving a terrible performance throughout the movie.

And I even saw real-time mockery online about my choice to pick over Warner Bros.

“Ugh.”

It was so terrible that I shuddered.

How could a dream be so realistic?

Aiden looked at me and smiled as if to tell me not to worry.

And he left me with meaningful words.

“Oh, right. There’s one actor I know. I’ve never acted with them before, but… anyway, something good will happen when you get there.”

The car we were in stopped in front of a building.

I took the elevator up, full of tension, and opened the door to the conference room where the reading would take place.

But then.

“Mom-!”

A young child ran towards me cheerfully.

It was Chloe, who would be playing my daughter Bella.

I stared at Chloe with wide eyes.

Everyone sitting at the reading burst into laughter.

Bella was Emily’s biggest rival in the play, whom I would be playing.

A twelve-year-old adopted daughter who had started puberty.

They were going to overcome tremendous difficulties due to their personality differences.

In that respect, I was even more worried about this work.

Chloe greeted me innocently and hugged me first.

Then, the tension I had been feeling until then was instantly disarmed.

I smiled brightly and hugged Chloe too.

* * *

A few days later.

-I wonder if Lee Nara and Han Sena can actually meet and greet each other with a smile ㅋㅋ [Korean slang indicating skepticism or disbelief].

-What’s so pretty about a junior eating up a senior~ No matter what, Nara, you shouldn’t use seniority like this.

-The winning side is my side. Therefore, I’m on Han Sena’s side! Do well with Hometown or whatever~

-No, they just had a fair audition, so why is everyone biting and tearing at each other? Celebrities must be really tired.

I closed the internet comment window, which was noisy with all sorts of useless words.

Even though I only saw the text, my ears felt tired and my mind was dizzy.

Unlike the chaotic Korean websites, the American scene was very quiet.

In this place where a vast amount of gossip overflows, casting an Asian lead could not be a major concern.

It seemed fortunate that I was far away from Korea.

Thanks to that, I was able to approach the filming with a more peaceful mind.

“Let’s go lightly for the first shoot.”

The director said in a refreshing voice.

“Yes!”

I also tried to erase other thoughts and answered cheerfully.

The first scene shoot, which is always new even after experiencing it several times.

I calmed my pounding heart and began to focus my eyes.

“Camera A, B roll!”

“Ready, action.”

With that sound, I came out to the set living room.

The whole house was a mess, as if a typhoon had swept through it.

I picked up the calendar on the table first.

The calendar listed Bella’s school schedule, Emily’s telecommuting, and Sean’s publishing schedule.

I put the calendar down and sighed deeply, looking at the state of the house.

I opened the living room window wide for ventilation.

A view of the neighborhood, which was close to the countryside, came into view at a glance.

A very small town in Pennsylvania.

I started cleaning in earnest.

Then, I took pictures of the scenes of vacuuming, doing laundry, and washing dishes from various angles and versions.

Then, sweat poured from my body as if I had really done the housework that had been piling up.

After tidying up the miscellaneous things, I sat on the sofa with a cup of coffee.

I was about to take a breather.

“Ring-ring-”

The phone on the sofa table rang.

I picked up the phone before I could even take a sip of coffee.

“Hello? …Bella? No, the swimming center should have finished thirty minutes ago.”

It was a call from the math tutoring teacher.

With an anxious expression, I held the phone in one hand and looked at the clock on the wall.

In the script, this scene was the day after Bella had already had an argument with her about math tutoring.

‘Why do I have to do math tutoring?’

Bella’s line when she failed the test and questioned Emily and Sean.

“Yes, yes…. I’ll check it out.”

I hung up the phone and quickly got up from my seat.

I quickly ran to the kitchen table.

My hand trembled as I picked up the car keys and cardigan.

And I quickly called Bella on my cell phone.

She didn’t answer the phone even after several attempts.

I gave up calling Bella and called Sean.

“Sean! Bella’s gone now. It’s time to go to math tutoring after going to the swimming center. She’s not answering her phone either.”

I paused for a moment as if listening to Sean’s continued answer.

‘Calm down. She may have stopped by somewhere else for a while, or she may still be at the swimming center. Go to the swimming center first. I’ll be right there too.’

“Okay.”

As I was hanging up the phone…

Someone opened the front door and came into the house.

I was surprised and ran out to the front door.

It was Bella.

Bella was standing there with water dripping from her hair, as if she had just come from the swimming pool.

“…Bella?”

Bella looked at my face and passed by me, ignoring me.

I grabbed Bella’s arm.

“What about math tutoring? Why didn’t you tell your mom?”

“I told you.”

“…?”

“I don’t want to go. I’m not going anymore.”

After leaving these words, Bella went up the stairs and slammed the door.

My head went blank.

Something bigger than the emotions I had anticipated and created while looking at the script covered me.

I was just standing there blankly, looking at the water droplets that Bella had dropped.

What should I do in this case?

How should I punish the child…?

“Cut!”

As soon as I heard the director’s voice, I hurriedly looked at him.

“Director, I’m sorry. I was too mentally broken right now. Was it obvious?”

Then the director raised the corners of his mouth as if he was amused.

And he asked me.

“Why were you mentally broken?”

“My daughter’s rebellion is harder than I thought? The shock is stronger than I expected.”

Then the director laughed even louder.

“I didn’t make you do this scene on purpose during the reading. Do you remember, Sena?”

Come to think of it…

There were some scenes that the director skipped during the reading.

This scene was also a scene that I had greatly anticipated during the reading, but I was disappointed that I couldn’t do it.

“This is my way. Sometimes some scenes are too precious to act out several times. Because emotions wear out.”

Ah….

“So, unlike what Sena thought, I really liked this scene just now. It seemed like you were really in a panic. You can’t get this from calculation.”

The director’s style was very unique.

Unlike the smiling director, I was still more mentally broken.

For some reason, Min-young’s words to me also seemed to linger in my ears.

Oh well, I don’t know.

I needed to choose a method that I had never tried before.

That’s why I try new works every time.

I looked at the director and said.

“If the director is okay with it, I’ll continue with the next scene without breaking this flow.”