In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 91

“Ready, action!”

In front of Kim Hee-jung’s office.

I stood there with my arms crossed, expressionless.

I pretended to be calm, but I squeezed the hand holding my arm tightly, revealing my nervousness.

Then, I heard the sound of heels and someone came around the corner towards me.

“……”

It was Kim Hee-jung, the biological mother I had been searching for.

When Kim Hee-jung saw my face, she stared at me without asking who I was.

Director Raymond had said that casting the role of Kim Hee-jung involved finding the actress in Korea who resembled me the most.

I, too, stared intently at my mother in front of me.

And I broke the silence first.

“I came to commission a house.”

Then, Kim Hee-jung turned and opened the office door, saying,

“The architectural styles of Korea and the United States are very different. Please commission someone else.”

Kim Hee-jung already had several work experiences overseas.

It was an excuse to reject my request.

Looking at Kim Hee-jung’s back, I said,

Firmly, resolutely.

“No, you have to do it.”

I didn’t put too much force into the tone of my line.

Because my eyes, already looking at Kim Hee-jung, had turned coldly.

Then, Kim Hee-jung turned around and looked at me silently.

The eyes of the senior actress playing Kim Hee-jung seemed to contain the feeling that she knew this day would come someday.

Like resignation.

I ignored that look and said firmly.

Because I am sadder and more pitiful than you, at least.

“Three stories high, my parents will live on the first floor.”

“……”

“My child’s room is on the third floor.”

Kim Hee-jung’s expression subtly changed when she heard the words ‘child’s room.’

Kim Hee-jung opened her mouth and replied.

“You had a child too, congratulations.”

Hearing that made me angrier for some reason.

I tried to suppress the rising emotions.

“I don’t need belated congratulations. Oh, if you really want to congratulate me, build me a house.”

But Kim Hee-jung refused outright.

“That’s not going to happen.”

I stared at my biological mother in silence for a long time.

It was the first time I resented the other person’s eyes, which didn’t seem to feel much emotion.

I stared into those eyes for a long time.

“Cut! Let me check for a moment.”

As soon as the director’s words ended, the senior actress smiled slightly.

“You look like a chestnut covered with a blanket [a Korean expression for someone who is good at hiding their emotions].”

“Pardon…?”

“You did well.”

Only then did I realize it was a compliment.

She seemed to have caught that I was desperately holding back my emotions while speaking dryly on the outside.

I smiled shyly at the compliment.

Then the director said.

“Sound NG [no good]. The emotions of both of you are good. Let’s go again!”

* * *

While continuing the short three-day filming schedule.

“What do you think of the rumors of discord with Lee Na-ra?”

“Do you think this work is worth giving up

“Is Han Sae-na more into art films than commercial art?”

“Please say a word to soothe the disappointed hearts of Warners fans.”

Unexpectedly, I faced a new difficulty due to the reporters who rushed in.

“Director Raymond, what’s the secret to bringing in two actors who were cast in Warners?”

“This movie, can it beat Warners at the US box office?!”

Even questions thrown in English.

The hands of the staff preparing for the next shoot stopped.

I automatically looked around, trying to read the situation….

I felt very uncomfortable because the staff’s expressions were not good.

I felt like they were experiencing these difficulties because of me.

I bit my lip tightly.

I really don’t want to hear it anymore.

Director Raymond frowned as if he was fed up too.

“Get out, get out!”

There was no way the reporters would listen to that.

But I saw a familiar face among the reporters.

It was the reporter I saw at the airport.

As soon as our eyes met, he turned his head, and sure enough, the reporter threw a question without missing a beat.

“I heard you said you felt relieved after stepping on Lee Na-ra at a gathering of acquaintances. Is that true?”

The surroundings went silent at the reporter’s words.

Ha, this is really annoying.

However, if I went and said even one word in response, I would be tormented by gossip articles for days.

I was holding back, but the reporter continued to provoke me.

“I even heard that you pushed Lee Na-ra out of private gatherings of actors. Is that so?”

A moment of silence flowed through the set.

Then, senior Jang Jung-sun, who had been listening quietly, opened her mouth.

“Who says that?”

The reporter looked at the senior actress in embarrassment.

“That’s a very private story. Did you hear it ‘directly’ from the people involved? Sae-na, did you say that?”

The senior actress turned to me and asked.

I immediately shook my head.

Then, the senior actress asked the reporter again.

“Then who did you hear it from?”

At the senior actress’s sharp question, the other reporters looked around, trying to read the situation.

“That’s not….”

“If that’s not the case, then it’s a false fact, isn’t it? Is it okay for a reporter to do that?”

In the frozen atmosphere, Jin-seok oppa [older brother/friend], who had been waiting in the distance, approached smoothly.

The reporters were startled and stepped back as the huge Jin-seok oppa stepped forward.

“Please leave. What are you doing at someone else’s filming location?”

The reporters, who had been watching, began to withdraw one by one.

I carefully watched the reporter who was hurriedly organizing the camera.

Looking at his expression, he was full of embarrassment.

Rather than feeling like he had failed, I felt a sense of fear.

Looking at that face, I had a slight feeling.

A very bad feeling.

I sighed inwardly and turned my head, and my eyes met Jin-seok oppa’s.

Jin-seok oppa also had an ominous look, as if he had sensed something.

* * *

A few days later, at the airport.

I finished the short Korean filming and was on my way back to the United States.

This time too, reporters were lined up.

I was about to pass by lightly, waving my hand, but a barrage of questions poured out from the reporters.

“Did you coordinate with actor Aiden to reject and film ??”

“Where does that confidence come from? Please say a word!”

I was fed up with the similar questions and quickly moved my steps.

But then, among the many reporters, one voice was particularly audible.

“Han Sae-na, what kind of person is Emily, the main character of ?”

It was the most polite tone I had heard recently.

Besides, it was the first question I received about the work.

Unlike the other reporters who stubbornly asked only about the conflict with Lee Na-ra.

I was happy and smiled slightly at the reporter.

And I approached him and said.

“Thank you for asking.”

And I freely spoke about the thoughts that came to mind about Emily.

A barrage of flashes burst out in front of us.

The reporter who heard the explanation bowed and thanked me.

I also bowed lightly and turned around.

And I whispered to Jin-seok oppa, who was next to me.

“Oppa, can you get that person’s business card for me?”

Then Jin-seok oppa looked surprised for a moment and nodded.

* * *

In front of a house in a small town on the outskirts of LA.

I reached out and pressed the doorbell next to the front door.

In one hand, I was holding a large bouquet of flowers that I had carefully chosen.

Ding-dong-

Not long after, I heard the sound of footsteps running out, and the door opened wide.

“Sae-na!”

Chloe smiled brightly and hugged me.

I also hugged Chloe with a happy heart.

“Welcome!”

Behind her, Chloe’s parents came and shook hands.

Both were Korean-American with good impressions.

“Nice to meet you! Thank you for inviting me.”

The parents smiled and replied.

“We are grateful that you came from so far away.”

“I heard your mother likes flowers.”

Chloe’s mother beamed as I handed her the flowers.

“Morning glories. It’s my favorite flower.”

“Chloe told me.”

At my answer, Chloe’s mother put her hand on her chest.

“Kamsahamnida [Thank you].”

I laughed as I listened to the mother’s clumsy Korean.

“We both can’t speak Korean well. My husband lived in Korea for a while, but he’s almost forgotten everything.”

“It’s okay. I’m still not good at English either.”

“Thank you for the flowers, come in quickly.”

I moved my steps into the house.

It was the first time I had entered someone else’s house with my shoes on.

It felt so awkward.

As if reading my mind, Chloe took my hand and smiled.

“I heard that you don’t wear shoes into the house in Korea.”

“That’s right, there’s such a cultural difference.”

“It’s interesting!”

“If you come to Korea next time, I’ll invite you to my house.”

“I definitely want to go.”

After a while, in front of the table where we sat together.

I could see traces of the parents’ hard work in the dishes on the table.

Steak, pasta salad, baked chicken, freshly baked bread, and even dessert pie.

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much. Even the plating is perfect.”

“I told her to stop because it would be burdensome for the person eating. This person is a perfectionist in the kitchen.”

Chloe’s father shook his head playfully as if he was fed up.

Then the mother smiled as if she was a little embarrassed.

I could see the nervousness on her face about what kind of evaluation she would receive.

“Is it too American? Korean food was difficult.”

I shook my hand at those words.

“I eat Korean food every day when I go to Korea! This is the most amazing table I’ve ever seen since I was born.”

Then the mother’s expression brightened.

“Eat as much as you want. Our house’s best menu is this pork neck steak.”

The mother put the steak on my plate first.

Chloe’s father poured wine into the wine glasses.

Chloe was smiling throughout the meal as if she was enjoying it.

Looking at Chloe, I asked.

“When did you want to become an actress, Chloe?”

“Since I saw Gren, who used to live with us, acting!”

“Gren?”

At my question, Chloe’s mother added an explanation.

“It’s a puppy that went to heaven a few years ago. His specialty was pretending to sleep in front of the table and running away with food.”

I burst out laughing at those words.

“You wanted to become an actress after seeing that puppy act?”

“Yes. Because of that acting, we had to take Gren to the hospital several times and we all struggled, but every time Gren did that, we all laughed.”

What a really harmonious family.

The corners of my lips didn’t go down.

“So I was mistaken for a while that everyone would be happy if I acted.”

“When did you realize that it was a mistake?”

“When I first acted on stage. I started with musicals before movies.”

“I see.”

She was a friend with quite a lot of experience even though she was young.

“One day, people were bored listening to my song. I was greatly hurt by that. That’s when I realized. Not everyone likes it when I act. Besides, it wasn’t easy to get various roles because I’m Asian.”

The story became more and more interesting.

“That happened. So how did you overcome it?”

“I didn’t overcome it. I went to a counselor and asked, and she said that life itself is like that. There are people who will laugh no matter what I do and people who won’t laugh, so I should just do what I want.”

I was a little surprised to hear that.

Such a deep realization at the age of thirteen.

“That’s a great saying. I think so too.”

“And when they don’t give me a role because I’m Asian.”

“When that happens?”

I listened intently.

Chloe’s next words were shocking.

I Will Live As An Actress In This Life