#27.
After touring the concert hall to soak in the atmosphere, I realized Woo-cheol, who’d excused himself to use the restroom, was nowhere to be found.
We were scheduled for a dry rehearsal immediately, but his absence brought everything to a standstill.
The staff scoured the restrooms and surrounding areas, but there wasn’t a trace of him.
“Heung-min, you were the last one with him. Did he mention anything besides going to the bathroom?” Jeong Gil-ju, the new road manager at MOST, asked, his voice laced with anxiety.
“No… he just said he was going to the bathroom.” Heung-min replied, clearly distracted. He looked like he wanted to tear his hair out, but he refrained, worried about ruining his styled hair.
“What is it? Could he have collapsed?” Team Leader Jeong Hee-young muttered worriedly from the side.
Given the intense practice schedule and strict diets the MOST members were enduring for weight loss, it was a plausible concern.
“If he’d collapsed, we should have found him. But he’s nowhere,” Team Leader Kim Seok-cheol stated firmly.
Team Leader Jeong Hee-young sighed. A member had vanished as if swallowed by the earth or lifted into the sky.
The situation was infuriating. This was MOST’s debut showcase.
Invited reporters were already at the concert hall, ready to film the rehearsal, and the live broadcast countdown was ticking on the MyTube [a fictional platform similar to YouTube] channel.
“Aren’t you ready yet?!” A concert staff member burst into the waiting room, demanding progress.
Team Leader Jeong Hee-young felt a cold sweat trickle down her back as she scrambled to manage the situation. “First… we need to rehearse with the available members. Deputy Lee, tell the dance team to find someone to fill in for Woo-cheol’s spot.”
“Yes, Team Leader.” Deputy Lee Jeong-yeon hurried towards the dancers’ waiting room.
Team Leader Kim Seok-cheol announced he would search the building again with Jeong Gil-ju.
While a replacement dancer prepared, the remaining members stood stiffly in the waiting room.
‘Where did Woo-cheol disappear to…’ Do-jae thought, flustered, but he tried to think clearly.
“Lee Heung-min, do you really not know anything?”
“Ah! Why would I hide it if I knew, hyung [older brother or male friend],” Heung-min shouted, frustrated, at Ki-joon’s repeated questioning.
Lui and Kyu-sung exchanged worried glances, wondering if Ki-joon and Heung-min would start fighting.
“…Ha. I’m going crazy.”
“Woo-cheol. Was anything strange about him beforehand?” Ki-joon pressed, a hint of something in his voice.
Do-jae watched Ki-joon and Heung-min, his brow furrowed.
Heung-min sighed deeply, repeatedly opening and closing his lips as if reluctant to speak.
“Damn it. This guy… he didn’t run away, did he?”
“Run away…” Kyu-sung’s face paled at the suggestion. They had experienced a trainee leaving before because the pressure was too much.
From five years to as little as two, the members had endured and persevered for this day.
It was the debut day they had been waiting for.
In Woo-cheol’s case, it was three and a half years. He had been running towards this for so long.
To run away now, right before his debut…
“What the… No way,” Lui said, shaking his head.
“Even though Woo-cheol hyung always said it was like hell…” Even so, Woo-cheol had always persevered for the sake of his debut.
Of course, he was only twenty years old. Despite choosing this path, Woo-cheol often felt stifled, spending his youth in the practice room when he wanted to be out having fun.
It wasn’t just his age; Woo-cheol had a naturally outgoing personality. He had many friends, which meant more temptations.
Because of this, Woo-cheol often complained about the grueling practices and wished for more free time.
But it was just talk. Despite his daily grumbling, he never missed a practice, unlike some other trainees.
Even with a pained expression, he did what he had to do. He gritted his teeth for his dream and improved every day.
There was no way he would abandon his debut stage and run away now.
Like Lui, Kyu-sung and Do-jae thought the same. They knew better because they had suffered together.
‘But if the two of them are considering the possibility of him running away… they must have picked up on something.’ Do-jae thought.
Do-jae asked Ki-joon and Heung-min calmly, “Is there… something wrong with Woo-cheol? Is he scared of the stage or something?”
“…I don’t know. But I think that’s right,” Heung-min nodded, looking troubled. “A long time ago, Ki-joon hyung and I went as backup dancers to a local event as trainees… There was a stage set up in the stadium. He was trembling and suddenly ran away. So hyung and I were the only ones who stood on stage.”
“When was that?”
“Over two years ago. I forgot about it because he seemed to have recovered well after that, but… I hope he didn’t run away this time too? I’m really going crazy.”
It was a plausible explanation.
‘It seems avoidance tendencies appear in tense situations where he has to go on stage.’
Even if he thought he was okay, he might not be. Unlike the smaller stage he’d been on before, the sheer size of this stage and the immense pressure might have triggered Woo-cheol’s fear again.
‘A stage he’s been waiting for so long that I can’t even imagine him running away… Conversely, it could be more terrifying because it’s his debut stage…’
Do-jae, who had been accustomed to performing in front of large crowds at imperial family events since childhood, understood Woo-cheol’s feelings to some extent.
‘Even among the imperial family, some suffered from stage fright or social anxiety and couldn’t participate in events.’
Of course, it probably wasn’t a clinical condition since he seemed fine afterward.
Woo-cheol dreamed of being a singer. He couldn’t let him face the worst-case scenario of being unable to perform because he succumbed to fear.
If that happened, the next time… and the time after that would be even more difficult.
‘He has to overcome it this time, just like he did before.’ Do-jae thought with a frown, feeling a pang of sympathy.
“Members, come up to the stage!” The remaining members reluctantly followed the staff’s call for a camera angle check.
***
After rehearsing four songs, including the intro, two title tracks, and a B-side, the members returned to the waiting room.
Instead of being nervous about the first official rehearsal, everyone was consumed with worry about Woo-cheol.
“Where’s Woo-cheol?”
“We still can’t find him. Seriously, where did he go? I can’t live like this,” Team Leader Jeong Hee-young muttered, looking grim, at Heung-min, who was frantically searching for Woo-cheol as soon as he stepped off stage.
With the rehearsal over, it was time for hair, makeup, and stage costumes.
While the stylist worked on Lui and Kyu-sung, the remaining members couldn’t stay still and resumed their search for Woo-cheol.
“Park Woo-cheol! You bastard, just wait until I find you!”
“Lui and Kyu-sung will be done in thirty minutes, so you guys have to be back within thirty minutes too!” The stylist shouted at Heung-min, who ran off, fueled by worry and frustration.
It was now an hour and a half before the show started.
Since the staff was now searching outside the building, Heung-min and Ki-joon decided to search inside one more time.
Fortunately, they could now focus on the possibility that Woo-cheol had ‘run away’ rather than simply ‘disappeared’.
Do-jae, searching the bathroom again, tried to think calmly.
‘If I were Woo-cheol…’ From the moment the possibility of Woo-cheol running away arose, Do-jae had been considering it.
No matter how scared he was, Woo-cheol didn’t seem like he would have left the building.
‘He was just scared and overwhelmed by the tension…’
Do-jae headed towards the elevator. When an empty elevator arrived, he quickly pressed the button.
Watching the numbers descend, Do-jae hoped Woo-cheol was where he suspected.
First, he needed to find Woo-cheol to calm him down or determine if he was truly unable to perform.
‘I want us to stand together as much as possible.’ How much sweat had they shed together?
However, if Woo-cheol’s condition was severe, he wouldn’t force him onto the stage.
Ding. The elevator chimed cheerfully, a stark contrast to the turmoil inside him.
B2. The underground parking lot where their van was parked.
Do-jae strode towards their parking spot.
‘Please be here, Woo-cheol.’
As he crossed the parking lot, his heart pounding, he spotted him.
“Woo-cheol!” Do-jae found Woo-cheol, curled up between their parked car and a pillar, hidden from casual view.
If his dark red hair hadn’t stood out, he might have missed him.
At Do-jae’s call, Woo-cheol turned his head, startled.
“You…”
“Do, Do-jae hyung…” Woo-cheol’s face was streaked with tears and sweat.
“What’s with that handsome face?” Do-jae said, choosing the lightest thing he could think of.
Woo-cheol, bracing himself for blame and resentment, stared blankly at Do-jae.
He remembered their first meeting, when they had complimented each other’s looks. That felt like a lifetime ago.
“Hyung…”
“Why are you hiding here?”
“Everyone’s looking for me… I… I can’t do it, hyung.”
“You can’t… go on stage?”
“…Yes. I can’t do it. My legs have been shaking since I went up on stage… How can I dance? How can I sing… I’m going to ruin everything. No, have I already ruined it…” Woo-cheol lowered his head, his voice cracking.
The nape of his neck was soaked with sweat.
“You want to do it, though.” At Do-jae’s words, Woo-cheol looked up.
“You can’t do it… but you want to do it.”
“……”
“You could have gone home, gone outside, or gone somewhere we couldn’t find you, but you’re here.”
So that you can go on stage as soon as you calm down, even though you’re shaking like this.
Woo-cheol bit his lip, tears welling up as Do-jae’s words seemed to see right through him.
“I want to do it. I want to do it, but… my hands and feet keep shaking… What should I do?”
“Woo-cheol, we’ve practiced this stage hundreds, thousands of times. When you stand on it, your body will move on its own. And…”
Because he had given it his all, Woo-cheol was being crushed by the weight of his efforts.
Do-jae wanted to ease his burden. He didn’t have to carry it alone.
“You’re not standing alone. There are five more of us. Trust us, and trust yourself a little more.”
“Hyung…”
“But if you still can’t do it, don’t stay here shaking… Go back to the dorm or somewhere you can rest comfortably. I’ll talk to the others.”
Woo-cheol stared at Do-jae, who stood firmly before him, unwavering, for a long moment.
Do-jae wasn’t forcing him. He was simply offering a hand.
After a while, Woo-cheol, realizing his legs were cramping, reached out and grabbed Do-jae’s hand.