Sincerely, Vanessa [EN]: Chapter 86

To the Teacher, From Vanessa – Episode 86 (86/146)

Vanessa usually stayed in the guest room on the 3rd floor, but this time, they were heading to the 4th floor, as they had done before.

Just like before, the silent corridor greeted them as soon as they reached the 4th floor, without a single person in sight. Unlike the bright morning sunlight and the pleasant memories associated with it, the 4th floor at night was filled with a heavy silence.

Gideon opened the door on the right and gestured for Vanessa to enter.

The room was still neat and calm. It was mostly decorated in dark colors, which could have made it feel stuffy, but the carefully placed lights gave it an air of dignity.

‘Perhaps his bedroom is the door next to this one,’ Vanessa thought.

Vanessa sat on the sofa, steeling her resolve, and looked intently at him. Gideon wordlessly took off his coat and hung it on the back of a chair.

“What did you say you’d give as compensation?”

“……”

“I heard everything, so tell me quickly.”

“It’s part of the land belonging to the Valder family. It’s not much…”

“It’s not much? Really?”

Vanessa, who had calmed down a bit, spoke gloomily. Gideon was silent for a moment, then finally revealed a portion of the truth.

“It’s a place called Zanaba, a resort in the south. It’s not a very large piece of land.”

“But you said it’s a place that could damage your reputation. You’re giving that to His Majesty because I’m just joining the Special Task Force and it’s dangerous.”

“It’s not ‘just.’ Why do you say that? The value of that land is not more important than you.”

Vanessa was momentarily speechless at Gideon’s direct reply. It was somewhat touching, but Vanessa had no intention of being protected at the cost of damaging his reputation.

No, she didn’t want to be protected in the first place, and she really disliked that he didn’t take better care of himself.

‘I wanted to protect him too. I wanted a relationship where we could lean on each other during hard and tiring times.’

‘How should I put this?’

Vanessa hesitated for a moment and stood up from where she was sitting across from him. Ignoring his slight flinch, she sat next to him and took his large hand in hers. It was a rough hand from holding a sword, with scars scattered here and there.

Slightly pushing up his sleeve, she saw a compress patched several times on the inside. ‘He just doesn’t care about these things,’ she thought with a sigh.

“Letter.”

Vanessa said seriously as Gideon looked at her questioningly.

“I want to write a letter. I want to think about it for a long time and convey my feelings, but it’s difficult to do it in words.”

White fingers carefully stroked the deepest part of the scar. Gideon’s eyes widened at the magic that manifested instantly and silently.

The flesh slowly began to heal. ‘It was worth practicing magic until my eyes burned.’

“I’ve gained a lot from meeting Gideon. I’ve learned a lot too.”

He blinked slowly.

“I usually give up without regret if I think something is impossible, but lately I think, ‘Why don’t I give it a try?’ That’s the greatest gift Gid has given me.”

“I’ll say it again, I begged you [to let me join the Task Force], it’s not that you accepted me. Haven’t I already been rejected by you?”

Vanessa scoffed at Gideon’s low whisper. ‘Anyway, wasn’t I the one who confessed [my feelings first]?’

“Anyway, that ‘I can try’ thought has given me a lot. Gid doesn’t know it, but it really had a big impact.”

“……”

“But I don’t know what Gid has gained since meeting me.”

Vanessa smiled weakly.

“You’re just trying to do things that will harm your reputation, and you’re using up your body because you have so many things to worry about.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not my fault, but it’s for me. Don’t think I don’t know that someone has been guarding near my lodgings since the day I ran away from Retima Quina.”

Gideon ran his hand through his hair as if he was tired. He hadn’t realized Vanessa knew.

“I’ve gained a lot… Why does it seem like it’s only hard for Gid?”

“I must have learned more from you.”

“What is it?”

When Vanessa asked sullenly, Gideon only gave a faint smile without saying anything. Vanessa looked at his wounds and sighed.

“I don’t like you unilaterally trying to protect me. We are, uh, in a relationship as lovers now. So I want to protect Gideon too. I want to even more because I have nothing to give Gideon.”

Gideon didn’t say anything and turned his hand over, trapping Vanessa’s hand in his.

“If there’s anything you’re worried about, I hope you’ll tell me. We can discuss it together. I don’t want you to be in danger and I’m the only one who doesn’t know. Tell me if you get hurt. I want to at least worry.”

The room was dark, and half of his face was in shadow. Gideon barely whispered something, but Vanessa couldn’t hear it well.

“Pardon?”

“I’m afraid….”

He hesitated for a moment.

“I’m afraid you’ll get hurt.”

Gideon revealed his vulnerable sincerity. The sincerity scratched at his core and came out powerless.

Vanessa was surprised that he didn’t make eye contact. The firm and clear eyes that had always supported Vanessa were hidden by his eyelashes and were not visible.

“His Majesty said something when he appointed me as the leader of the Special Task Force.”

“What did he say?”

“He said that I don’t have any weaknesses, so I’m well-suited for this position.”

It was a cruel thing to say.

“The Special Task Force is dangerous not only because it deals with monsters. Looking at the places where monsters thrive, the most dangerous thing is people. Therefore, we have the power of arrest. Because of that, there are many things that are checked or attacked.”

Vanessa wanted to look into his eyes, but he didn’t lift his gaze.

“But I had nothing to fear because there was nothing left to look back on.”

Because there were no remaining family members or anything to regret.

“Not anymore?”

Gideon replied in a tired voice.

“I’m afraid because you’re here.”

Vanessa smiled awkwardly.

“Then I guess we should try to come back healthy together from now on. And don’t get hurt like this.”

Vanessa said that, but he didn’t answer. Seeing that he didn’t seem to want to lift his head, Vanessa finally reached out and cupped his cheek. The man willingly followed the motion.

However, the eyes that met were still depressed. Vanessa was anxious because she couldn’t completely understand his heart.

‘Is it just because he doesn’t want me to join the Special Task Force? Because it’s dangerous?’ But even so, he seemed excessively depressed.

“…Vanessa.”

Vanessa didn’t answer. She just waited quietly, making eye contact.

The lips that had been twitching finally revealed his anxiety.

“The people I’ve cherished and loved… all seem to leave me early.”

Vanessa blinked blankly. The man took Vanessa’s hand off his cheek with his large hand and ran it over his face. Again, his gaze was lowered to the floor.

Only then did Vanessa remember that Gid’s parents had suddenly passed away and he was left alone.

After the sudden death of the former Duke and Duchess of Valder, relatives became greedy in order to seize Gideon’s rights, who was still immature. Gideon, judging that they were being too greedy, cleanly liquidated the Valder family and eliminated all undue privileges.

He was recognized as the head of the family, but the inside of the large castle became quiet. And finally, even his maternal grandfather, who cherished him, passed away, leaving Gideon completely alone. It was already a famous story inside Pydom.

Everyone said he was cold and perfect without a single flaw. Even the king, who had watched him for a long time, evaluated him that way.

But I knew he wasn’t. I felt sorry for only being upset without knowing the anxiety he was holding.

“That’s why I didn’t want to put you in a dangerous place. I’m sorry for trying to decide on my own.”

‘Can I ease his anxiety right now? No. This was definitely something that would take time. I had to show proof over a long period of time. That I will always come back healthy.’

‘But I wanted to bring a smile back to his lips right now.’ So, out of place for the atmosphere, I said bravely.

“I have to temper it several times to make it like the calluses on that hand. I’ll try harder so you don’t worry. I can’t say I won’t get hurt. But I’ll always come back here.”

Magic couldn’t fail at times like this.

The moment Vanessa playfully said, “Yap-,” the space between the two was filled with sparkling water droplets. It was a useless magic, but it was meaningful enough.

“I’m a magician who knows conditions now [referring to conditional magic]. And I’m good at teleportation magic, so I can come back in an instant.”

‘Well, there are still shortcomings.’ This word was mumbled so much that it was not heard well.

Only then did Gideon raise his head. He quietly stared at Vanessa, who was smiling against the backdrop of jewel-like water droplets. He was silent for quite a while before whispering.

“Every time I see you, you’re new. Aren’t you too big of a gift to me?”

The water droplets were still dancing, and the surroundings were quiet and dark.

However, emotions that were understood and sorted out were placed between them. Finally, Gideon succumbed to Vanessa and lowered his head as if surrendering.

Vanessa cupped his face and made him lift his head. She was a generous victor. She stroked his tired eyes and gently touched her cheek to his.

“I’ll protect you too.”

“I’ll make sure that… doesn’t happen.”

“That would be even better.”

Vanessa smiled, making eye contact at a distance where their noses touched, and Gideon felt somehow dizzy. Before he knew it, he wanted to touch her and moved. Then he barely stopped.

The slightly averted gaze seemed to give her time to avoid it. But Vanessa had no intention of avoiding it at all.

Vanessa trembled for a moment at the breath that finally touched her. Contact in a dark place without the bright sunlight falling through the window felt somehow different. White hands barely grabbed the man’s arm and solid shoulder.

The beginning was light, but it gradually became deeply intertwined, and before she knew it, a large hand was covering her face. The passage of time was very relative, so the moment of contact felt like eternity, but also like a fleeting moment.

The lips that finally landed started from the eyes, then kissed the cheeks and ears without stopping, and gently went down the neckline. Gideon couldn’t hold back the rising desire any longer.

Of course, Vanessa felt the same way. In the middle of the dark room, Vanessa reached out with a trembling hand.