Surviving the Game As a Barbarian [EN]: Chapter 361

Raven turned her back again. Even as she broke eye contact, the man was still looking at her, his gaze desolate and pitiful. “……” It felt like a sharp object was digging into her insides. ‘Why is he making that face…? I’m the one who was betrayed….’ An evil spirit is a being that deceives the entire world. She had been taught that since she was young, and she had seen countless examples of it as she grew up. Because I was in danger, so he saved me? ‘…That can’t be true….’ She shook her head, trying to deny it, ignoring the cry in her heart, as if engraving into her mind that this was the answer. That man was just saying what he wanted to believe. There must have been another motive. She shouldn’t be fooled by this. Thinking that, she took a heavy step. Thud. With each step, the moments she had shared with him flashed by like a slideshow. It started with the crimson fortress where she first met him. [What the hell is that guy! Why is a vampire in a place like this….] [Stop whining and run, dwarf.] The vampire who appeared as a guardian from the first floor’s crack. The man naturally led the group, and after literally throwing himself into the fight, he achieved victory. But… ‘The holy water he used at the end… he must have known about it because he’s an evil spirit.’ It always ends up like this. If you look at each moment, behind the precious memories lies her own image of being deceived and manipulated. How foolish and easy must she have looked to that man? Thud. Of course, as a result, she owed her life to that man in the crimson fortress. However, Raven judged coldly. ‘…It’s not like he sacrificed himself to save us.’ It was a situation where he would have died if he hadn’t. So, the man fought with his life on the line. Thud. The next scene that came to mind was when they were trapped in the crystal cave on the first floor. The desperate situation where the knights and large clans abandoned them as pawns and escaped through the dimensional gate. The day that man became a hero of the city. [Then what the hell are we supposed to do!] [I’ll say it again—! Everyone stop—!!] The man stubbornly conveyed his voice, and the explorers who had been pointing swords at each other joined forces. And then the breakthrough began. [Shit, this is crazy.] [I, I can’t go any further. I’m sorry.] Even as the warriors who had crossed the line of death countless times collapsed and lost the strength to move forward, the man kept going. [Behel—raaaaaaaa!!] The man took on the most dangerous mission in the most dangerous place, and he fought more desperately than anyone else. However, Raven judged. ‘That too… it’s because he had to survive… That’s why he did it….’ She took a step. Thud. With each step she took away from the bars, the things that had happened with that man, more precisely, the big and small help she had received from him, came to mind. Each time, Raven thought. ‘This isn’t even that difficult.’ ‘It wasn’t something that required risking his life.’ ‘…I’ve given him that much help too.’ Most of the time, she could brush it off by repeating those words. But… [Could it be… did you come all this way because of me? Through that fire?] [I was taking a walk.] What happened on the day the Imperial Capital burned. [Wh, what are you doing? You’re not going to lift this whole ship…?] [Uwaaaaaaaaah!!!] The time on Parune Island when she sent her companions ahead and stayed behind to fight the enemy. And just recently. [Your… ba, ba, back…!] The time he blocked the magic aimed at her with his whole body. ‘But… was that for his own sake…?’ Raven soon realized. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, it was becoming increasingly difficult. ‘That can’t be… true….’ Even though it was a desperate situation, she remembered it clearly. The man struggled in pain, his veins bulging in his neck, but he carefully held her so that she wouldn’t get hurt underneath him. There was no point in deceiving herself any longer. She had tried to deny it several times. [Raven, it’s because you were in danger. That’s why I saved you.] Those words were undoubtedly true. *** Squeak. The door at the end of the passage, beyond the bars, closed. “She’s gone.” “Yeah……” In the end, Raven left. The expectation that she might come back and open the bars had to be abandoned— “Evil spirit.” Huh? When I looked to the side, Erwen was looking at me, her head bowed low, but her gaze fixed on me. “…You were an evil spirit?” Yeah, I was wondering why she was being so quiet. So, she was shocked because of this. Well, I guess she has a right to be angry. It must seem like I didn’t tell her because I didn’t trust her. “Erwen, calm down. I’ll explain—” “This woman knew, but I was the only one who didn’t.” “That’s, well, that’s—” “I said I could understand everything. But…!! Why did you deceive only me! Because you don’t trust me? What do I have to do for you to trust me?” Oh, this is the first time she’s been this pissed… I glanced at Amelia, hoping for help, but Amelia just shrugged and looked away. Is this my karma, and I have to deal with it myself? ‘Still, it’s a relief that… she really doesn’t seem to care that I’m an evil spirit….’ Is it because she just saw with her own eyes Raven, who couldn’t accept that I was an evil spirit and left? While I felt dizzy at Erwen’s murderous aura, I also felt a sense of relief and gratitude. Well, that’s that, and this is this. ‘How can I calm her down….’ I didn’t have to think for long. “Raven, who is that woman! You hid it so, so thoroughly from me! That woman is in danger! You even revealed your identity to protect her—!” Thud. “……?” Before Erwen could explode any further, I grabbed her wrist. And… “Erwen, you would have done the same thing if you were in that position.” I said with all my sincerity. Because I would have definitely done the same thing if it was Erwen instead of Raven. But it was hard for her to believe. “Th, that’s a lie… You didn’t even tell me beforehand… You thought that woman was more trustworthy than me.” “What…? Why on earth would you think that?” “Because… I, I’m like this… Because I only eat those essences… I’m treated like a crazy bitch….” Oh, I didn’t know she was thinking that inside. It seems like Erwen herself has been worrying a lot about her condition and feeling self-loathing… “Erwen, that’s not true.” “Then… why were you hiding it from me….” Sigh, I said I would explain. I sighed inwardly and said, “Because I wanted to protect you.” For some reason, the answer came from Amelia’s mouth. “Recycling, how logical.” What is she talking about? I ignored her and looked at Erwen, and after a moment, she reacted. “………Uh, yes?” Her shoulders trembled after a slight delay. “M, me?” Okay, her voice seems to have calmed down a bit now… I was worried that she might misunderstand something again, so I quickly continued the explanation. “You saw it too, didn’t you? Raven asking Amelia questions.” Even if there was a gift from Auriel Gavis [likely a powerful artifact or blessing], I couldn’t stop it from being used like that. So, I wanted to minimize the number of people who knew. Of course, this was also for my own sake, but it wasn’t a decision made purely for myself. “If I ever get into trouble because I’m an evil spirit, I wanted to make sure that you, at least, had a way out. If you didn’t know, you’re a victim, but if you knew and helped, you’d be treated as an accomplice.” “……” “So, so Rainwales, you did that because you cared more about me than that woman…? You deliberately hid it from me. To… protect me….” “Uh……” I unconsciously shifted my gaze to Amelia. Then, Amelia smiled and nodded as if asking what I was worrying about. It was like she was saying she was fine, so I should take care of the situation first… Sigh, she’s so reliable. “Yeah, that’s why I hid it from you.” “……Y, yes!” As soon as I gave her an affirmative answer, Erwen clenched her fist, greatly pleased. And then, she puffed out her chest as if to show off, stared at one spot, and raised the corners of her mouth. It was the spot where Amelia was. “…That’s a bit annoying.” Amelia frowned, but Erwen didn’t care and turned her attention back to me. “Mister, I appreciate your concern… but don’t do that again. I would never want to leave you behind and escape on my own, you know?” Erwen said, glancing at the bars where Raven had left. “I’m different from that woman who doesn’t know gratitude, even though she’s been saved so many times.” Uh, so…? “So, just trust me! Okay?” “Yeah……” As things were roughly settled, Amelia, who had been watching, joined the conversation and changed the subject. “More importantly, what are we going to do now?” Ah, that… It’s time to start preparing. “Let’s pack our things first.” “Things?” “We can’t leave our equipment behind, can we?” I went to the place where I had gathered the items looted from the lighthouse keeper and squatted down. Then, I gathered the equipment on the robe that I had spread out, wrapped it up like a bundle, and tied it around my neck. It was the Barbarian Merchant Mode. Just in case, I was going to keep it like this for now and put it in the subspace when I had the chance. “If you’ve packed everything, tell me, what are we going to do now? You must have a plan, right?” Amelia asked again, and I shared the Plan B that I had organized in my mind. I waited, not letting my guard down until the time came. How much time had passed? Clunk. The doorknob at the end of the hallway turned, and then it slowly opened with a creaking sound. And… Thud. Raven, who had left, reappeared. Without anyone else accompanying her. “She’s alone.” “What could she be up to…? By this time, she should have already reported to the higher-ups.” Amelia and Erwen held their weapons, looking at the outside of the bars with caution. Raven, who was approaching, flinched and stopped. “Why did you come alone?” Raven answered softly to my question. “To confirm.” A conversation held about 7 meters apart. Perhaps because of the voices echoing in the passage, the distance felt even more real. But… “Confirm what?” Raven didn’t answer my question. She just started walking again, closing the distance. Thud, thud. As the distance between Raven and the bars narrowed, her expression, which had been hidden in the darkness, became clearer. A complex expression that couldn’t be defined by a single emotion. However, one thing was clear. “…Don’t tell me you didn’t report it?” I asked to confirm, and Raven answered with silence again. Thud, thud. Her footsteps continued without stopping. It didn’t take long for only a single bar to be between them. “……” “……” Raven looked at me through the bars with her clear blue eyes, and I looked back without saying anything else. How much time had passed since then? Clink. Raven silently took out a key from her pocket. What kind of change of heart had she had? Just a moment ago, the wall of her heart was firmly closed, and nothing I said would get through. ‘Could it be… some kind of lure?’ It was a plausible guess. Our combat power must have been reported as well. If we became enemies on the ship, it could be a difficult situation, so they might be pretending to help for now and try to arrest us in the city. Therefore… “…Why are you suddenly doing this?” I asked directly. “What you’re about to do is, as you said earlier, an act of betraying everyone who follows you.” Even as I asked, I focused on Raven’s eyes. Whether she was telling the truth or a lie, if she didn’t have a talent for acting, it would be obvious, but… Raven just chuckled at my actions. “Why are you laughing…?” It wasn’t a mocking laugh. Rather, it was a self-deprecating laugh with a hint of bitterness. Then, what was the reason? “It’s just that the situation seems similar to before.” Huh? “If I didn’t know that Yandel was an evil spirit, I wouldn’t have asked that question.” “Ah……” I was speechless for a moment. However, Raven had already finished organizing everything and returned, so there was no hesitation in her actions. Slide. The key slid into the lock. The bars between me and Raven reflected the torchlight, mirroring each other’s images. For some reason, I felt embarrassed. To be honest, I thought it was over and was only thinking about Plan B. “…My answer is the same.” “Because Yandel will be in danger if he stays here.” “So, I decided to help for now. Without worrying about what happens next.” “So……” Clunk, the key turned with a sound. And… “Come out quickly, I need to hear what you’re going to do next.” The firmly closed door opened.