The Stand-In Empress’S Wedding Night [EN]: Chapter 11

11. Do You Think of Me as a Man?

February 10, 2021

“……Umm.”

The soft sensation of his touch, wandering like a caress across my lips, began to intensify.

“Where do you keep trying to go?”

It wasn’t that I wanted to escape his embrace, but my body kept trying to flee. My body, dragging even the Emperor along, stubbornly tried to go somewhere, eventually being held firmly in his strong arms.

“If we go any further, we’ll both fall to the floor, you know?”

Emperor Linelle wrapped one arm around my waist and brought me back to the center of the bed.

“Are you planning to drag the Emperor down to the floor?”

He smelled wonderful. More precisely, a seductive, sexy scent. His large hand traced the line of my face from left to right. Ah, so cold. I thought it was an ice block. Although this man’s hand was as icy as if it had been dipped in snow, it was a welcome temperature to me. Compared to his cold hand, his gaze was so intense it felt like it could melt my entire face. The ruthless Emperor of the Northern Continent was nowhere to be seen here. There was just a husband focused on his wife. No, scratch that ‘ordinary’ part.

“Does this mean you want to do it on the floor? Huh?”

He playfully shook our intertwined bodies and asked.

“No…… That’s not what I meant, I just didn’t realize…….”

“I don’t understand why you keep avoiding me. Are you shy? Or are you deliberately trying to seduce me more?”

*Isn’t seduction what you’re doing right now?*

“Which one could my wife be…….”

“It’s all still new to me. Especially in this position.”

Despite my honest answer, he tilted his head. I felt like my emotions were being scrutinized under his gaze.

“Can I take that to mean you don’t dislike me?”

His husky voice resonated in my heart.

“How could I ever dislike Your Majesty?”

“So, that means you like me.”

“…….”

His directness caused my already slow-thinking brain to shut down completely.

“A long pause? Hmph, I guess we’re not quite there yet. Then is there room for improvement in the future?”

Emperor Linelle spoke with a hint of disappointment, but his expression seemed quite amused.

“Your Majesty, may I ask why…… you’re suddenly asking such questions?”

I snapped out of my daze, having been lost in his handsome features, and asked.

“Because I’m curious. About your thoughts.”

“You’re curious about what I think of Your Majesty……?”

*Why?*

“Yes, the Empress’s thoughts. I know well enough what everyone in the Imperial Palace thinks of me. But the Empress is different.”

*Does that mean…… I’m special?*

“I can’t read your thoughts. I can’t, but they’re also important.”

“Why is it important what I think of Your Majesty?”

“So I don’t have to worry about how to act.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I am the Emperor.”

“……Yes, I have never doubted that fact.”

At my earnest reply, he raised his hand to his forehead, laughed for a while, and then continued.

“Right. It means I’m in a position to do whatever I want. But I can’t do whatever I want with the Empress. I shouldn’t treat you carelessly either.”

……Why?

“Because you are my wife.”

It was quite a touching statement, so I clasped my hands together as if in prayer and looked at him with grateful eyes.

“Well, that’s what marriage is, according to the theological texts.”

Was he embarrassed after saying it himself? He patted his neck a couple of times and glanced at me sideways.

“But Your Majesty, you clearly said before that you don’t believe in God?”

At my words, Emperor Linelle smiled and readily nodded.

“Still, some of the hundreds of things God supposedly said are useful.”

“Your Majesty…… You seem like a warm person.”

I said, taking his ice-cold hand.

“Are you telling me to believe that? Where in the world is there a husband as cold as this?”

Emperor Linelle slightly raised our clasped hands and made self-deprecating remarks. He tended to talk about his hypothermia curse as if it were the most ridiculous joke in the world.

“I’m not talking about Your Majesty’s body temperature; I’m talking about your heart.”

“Hmm, it’s the first time I’ve heard that, so it doesn’t resonate with me at all. My heart is warm.”

Linelle looked embarrassed. But the position we were currently in was even more awkward. Perhaps he felt the same way, as he slowly moved his body, which had been dominating me, to the side. He sat next to me for a moment, rolling his eyes around, then leaned back against the headboard. Then, he crossed his arms in front of his chest. I also sat up, leaned against the headboard, and crossed my arms in the same pose, facing forward. Peace of mind immediately returned as I wasn’t facing his face. We sat side by side in silence like that. Then, Emperor Linelle broke the silence first.

“Perhaps…… Did you say my heart is warm because I gave you water earlier?”

Huh? Was he still thinking about that? I found Linelle’s question a little cute. I turned my head to the other side, secretly laughing silently, and then politely replied to him.

“Just the fact that you don’t mistreat me, a foreign-born Empress, is enough to know.”

“The mistreatment was what you did to me today. Anyway, I haven’t treated you well. Not yet…….”

He replied quietly, as if to himself.

“It’s enough. For now…….”

“Is it? It’s not enough for me.”

“……Pardon?”

“I’m talking about the way you treat me. I should be saying that this state is enough, just like you, but that’s not the case.”

“Have I ever acted in a way that was disrespectful?”

It seemed like the warm atmosphere was turning cold.

“It’s a problem because you’re too polite.”

Emperor Linelle complained, touching his chin.

“You know, I want to cut off the head of anyone who deceives me or acts arrogant towards me. And if I feel that urge, I’ve beheaded them without hesitation.”

Gulp-. At his words, I quietly swallowed.

“Of course, there are more times when I hold back. There are a few candidates among the current ministers whose heads should be rolling, but I’m holding back because it’s not the right time yet.”

Another gulp-. His voice was calm, but the content was quite gruesome, so I had to swallow several times. I was worried that my head might be the one to fly off his hands someday. After all, I am the one who is deceiving the current Emperor the most in the Lapheon Empire. Without realizing it, my hand automatically went up to my neck and then back down repeatedly.

“But isn’t it strange?”

Emperor Linelle said with a questioning tone.

“I don’t get angry even when the Empress does something annoying.”

“……Really?”

“Yeah.”

Wait, does that mean I did something annoying? What was it? I hid my nervousness and deliberately put on an innocent expression, blinking my eyes repeatedly.

“Have I perhaps, done something annoying to Your Majesty……?”

“Earlier.”

“Yes?”

“You said ‘Goodbye’ to me.”

Emperor Linelle mimicked my voice and slightly rolled his eyes.

“Ah…….”

So, the fact that I didn’t hold him back earlier was an annoying action. Suddenly, my nape became chilly. Especially at that moment.

“Ah, surprise!”

Because Linelle raised his hand, I unknowingly flinched and moved away from him. My side twisted sideways like a boomerang, displaying agility. Fortunately, he didn’t look like he wanted to chop off my head. Instead.

“……What is it? Why is she doing this?”

He looked at me with an absurd expression. Then, he snorted and grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back to my original position.

“Th, thank you.”

“You’re thankful for everything. ……Empress, there’s something I want to ask you, and I hope you’ll be honest.”

He chuckled and suddenly switched to a serious voice, changing the atmosphere.

“Yes! Honesty is my strength.”

*How funny, our surrogate Empress.*

My inner persona sneered sarcastically. *Yeah, laugh all you want. But I’ve lived honestly my whole life except for that one lie, you know?*

“Do you think of me as the Emperor?”

The Emperor’s questioning began.

“……As I said before, I have never doubted that point. If you keep asking, I might start to doubt it.”

I couldn’t grasp at all what he was trying to ask. His gentle laughter continued with the questions.

“Do you think of me as your husband?”

“Of course.”

*Why do I have a bad feeling about this?*

“Then…….”

He paused for a moment, taking a breath before continuing the questions he had been smoothly asking, and stared intently into my eyes. It was as if he was waiting in advance, not wanting to miss the look and expression I would show after he asked the real question. Emperor Linelle slowly moved his lips and asked this question:

“Do you think of me as a man?”

“!”

Was that really what he was curious about? I wouldn’t have been this surprised if he had asked, ‘You wench! Did you think the Shatonil Kingdom and you could deceive me until the end?’……. His question was a bigger shock than my identity as a surrogate Empress being exposed.

“I, I…….”

Like an idiot, I just moved my lips without answering properly.

“No, never mind.”

He said coldly, waving his hand. Was he angry? But he immediately showed a remorseful attitude.

“Let’s hear that answer later. I think I asked too hastily.”

He swept his glossy black hair back with a self-deprecating smile.

“Your Majesty.”

“Hmm?”

When I gently tugged at his clothes and called out, he replied with a very gentle gaze.

“There’s something I want to ask you too.”

I should have kept my mouth shut at that moment. I should have just pulled the blanket over my head and gone to sleep. This was clearly the inner persona inciting me. Whenever a fever rose in my body, I would sometimes do reckless things without realizing it, and 80% of the time it was the persona’s doing. Things that I had been suppressing inside or thinking about unconsciously would sometimes happen due to the fever rising in my body. A minor example was when noble young ladies played mean tricks on me or insulted me, I would unknowingly retaliate against them without hesitation. Most of the time, the retaliations were cleverly done, so I managed to overcome the crises without being caught. I couldn’t guarantee what would happen today or whether I could fix what happened.

“What is it? What are you curious about?”

Emperor Linelle showed curiosity, folding his eyes sweetly. Ah, please don’t look at me with such expectant eyes.

“Please be honest too, Your Majesty.”

It was clearly coming from my mouth, but it was the persona’s manipulation using my inner consciousness. The persona’s laughter struck my cochlea [inner ear]. *Damn it.* Courage stretched above my throat, intoxicated by the rising fever deep inside my body.

“Do you think of me as the Empress?”

My lips were moving on their own, but it was also what I had been thinking inside while listening to his question earlier.

“Yes.”

Emperor Linelle watched me follow his question, twitching the corners of his mouth repeatedly.

“Do you think of me as your wife?”

*Stop it. Please. Let’s just stop here.* But my reason and instincts had already started to play separately.

“Of course, I think of you as my wife.”

He showed an awkward expression but answered diligently and consistently. The last question remained……. Even though we both knew what that question was, tension lingered. I consciously closed my lips tightly, trying not to open them.

“Does this question require some thought?”

He seemed frustrated by the fact that I was just moving my lips around, so he asked first. He seemed to be enjoying this moment.

“There are no questions.”

I barely managed to make a voice, clenching my teeth.

“There’s one more last question, isn’t there?”

Seeing his somewhat disappointed expression made me feel like my heart was collapsing like a sandcastle. Emperor Linelle’s blue sea-like eyes shook my heart back and forth. The corners of his lips were slightly raised like the stern of a sailboat. As I looked at him smiling at me, my lips moved on their own again.

“Do you think of me as a woman?”

Ha, I couldn’t overcome the persona’s power and ended up asking that last question. I did it. I was so ashamed that I wanted to throw myself out of the terrace right away. Emperor Linelle’s eyes deepened. I wanted to avoid his gaze, but on the other hand, I was also curious about the answer. *Yeah, it wouldn’t be too late to hear the answer and then jump off the terrace.* Unexpectedly, his silence was much shorter than the time I had been silent after receiving the same question.

“I think of you as a woman. I am thinking of you as a woman.”

At Emperor Linelle’s clear, firm voice without hesitation, my heart thumped and fell somewhere inside my body. But his following words made my heart return to its place.

“Whether that can lead to love…… Honestly, I don’t know yet.”

“Yes…….”

I tried not to show a disappointed expression. There was no reason to be disappointed. In fact, when you think about it, it was a natural thing to say.

“Are you disappointed?”

“No! I, I think it’s natural since Your Majesty doesn’t know much about me yet.”

“If I get to know you a lot? Then, what happens?”

“You have to be careful…….”

I whispered, covering my mouth with one hand.

“About what.”

“So you don’t fall too deeply for me.”

“……Wow. You have a lot of confidence? Are you serious?”

“Would I be serious? I’m just kidding.”

“?”

“You’re really innocent. I didn’t know you would take it so seriously…… Keuhum [a Korean onomatopoeia for clearing one’s throat].”

I burst into laughter at his serious expression.

“You’re crazy.”

“Eut [a Korean expression of agreement].”

Emperor Linelle firmly closed my lips, which had opened in laughter, into one with his index finger and thumb. He made my lips into a duck beak and said firmly, putting strength in his eyes.

“But, I have no intention of being careful with you.”

*What does that mean?*

“It was warm. That moment we shared on our first night…… So lately, I keep thinking about that moment…….”

“!”

He stopped talking and let go of my lips, which he had made into a duck beak. Then, he rubbed his handsome features with both hands, doing a dry wash [a gesture of embarrassment or frustration].

“You might have been mistaken.”

I patted his back and said softly, and he raised his head.

“Mistaken?”

“Th, the priests were waiting outside the bedroom at that time, and since it was such a hectic situation…… I think you might have been mistaken.”

I laughed ha ha, trying to change the awkward atmosphere.

“Could it be? Yeah, maybe that’s really the case.”

Emperor Linelle surprisingly accepted my words easily and nodded.

“So, about that, wife.”

“Yes, husb…… and.”

“Let’s get to know each other again.”

He said solemnly.

“Now.”

“?”