Y13 [EN]: Chapter 211

Y13-211 (211/296)

00211 2011-2012 Regular Season ====================================================

While the players from both teams were racking their brains in the locker room, trying to figure out how to overcome this incredible situation, Shaquille O’Neal, Charles Barkley, and Mike Breen, who were commentating, were shaking their heads at the intensely poor game.

It was such an abysmally bad performance that it felt like a protest. If things continued this way, the winning team would just be winning fools, and the losing team would be losing fools.

[Both teams are usually amazing and fiercely competitive. It truly feels like a rivalry that has been vying for the throne of the Western Conference for the past decade.]

[They’re fiercely bad. It really feels like this entire game will be garbage time for all 48 minutes.]

As Shaquille O’Neal’s harsh words came out again, Barkley chuckled humorlessly and shook his head.

[I agree. Normally, I would give Shaq a stern talking-to, saying, ‘Hey, Shaq. No matter what, this is a broadcast. You need to soften your words a bit.’ But today, this game is an exception. I really have no words, WTH (What The Hell).]

Even Barkley, with his long commentary career, was saying this, so how could the home fans at Staples Center not feel the same? If the Lakers weren’t winning, there would be boos erupting from everywhere. That’s exactly what today’s game was like. Mike Breen looked over the first-half stats and could accurately feel the emotions that the two commentators were feeling.

[Right now, both teams’ field goal percentages are 33.7% and 28.8%, respectively. The three-pointers are even more abysmal. Dallas is at 11%, and the Lakers are at 0%. Even if the top two defensive teams in the league, the Chicago Bulls and the Boston Celtics, were to face each other, it would be better than this. Both teams are ranked 1st and 2nd in field goal percentage allowed (opponent’s field goal percentage, with lower being better), but even they are at 41.9% and 42.1%. And are both teams on a back-to-back? No, they’re not. Both teams are playing at home and have had a day of rest. In fact, the LA Lakers are still at home.]

[Dallas recorded their franchise’s all-time fewest points allowed in their last game against the Sacramento Kings. In this game, they’re on track to break their franchise’s all-time fewest points scored and fewest points allowed simultaneously.]

[Still, a winner will eventually be decided. I think the mark of a strong team is winning even in a historically awful game like this. In the end, victory is valuable. If you’re going to be a fool whether you win or lose, it’s better to be a winning fool.]

Mike Breen and Charles Barkley stared at Shaquille O’Neal with a momentarily bewildered expression, wondering if it was really him who had just made such a coherent statement after all the trash talk. Shaquille O’Neal simply shrugged with a playful expression, answering them.

Instinct isn’t rational. It’s purely emotional, and it’s what makes people unpredictable. Surely, the players on both teams must be feeling it too – that this shouldn’t have been such a terrible game. But the flow of the game was already heading towards disaster, and the players were desperately running around, trying to secure a victory even in this mess as a second-best option.

“Block him!”

At Terry’s shout, Rodrigo Beaubois gritted his teeth and used his entire body to block Darius Morris’s dribble, his matchup. Darius Morris, drafted 41st overall in the 2011 draft, had a decent size of 6-4 and was averaging 2.2 points and 1.4 assists in about 8 minutes of play. However, his three-point shooting was quite good, with a 44% success rate in his debut season.

Because of Morris’s high and somewhat loose dribbling, Beaubois kept looking for an opening. He was terrible at team defense and 2-2 pick-and-roll defense, but his 1-1 defense, using his long wingspan and excellent agility, was very good. His steals per hour were even higher than Youngjae’s.

“Ugh!”

Beaubois, who was persistently chasing, was blocked by Metta World Peace, who skillfully set a screen from behind, and could only groan. This was Beaubois’s fatal flaw. When the opponent set a screen, he would often lose his matchup. He had no concept of when and in which direction to avoid the screen and defend. It had been pointed out by Coach Carlisle and the coaches for three years, but it never seemed to be fixed.

As Beaubois was caught in Metta World Peace’s screen, Brewer, the center of the perimeter defense, quickly made a decision and left World Peace to mark Darius Morris, retreating backward. Since Mahinmi’s defensive IQ was low, he judged that Darius Morris was capable enough to make free throws or finish inside.

Tuk- Tuk-

While attempting intimidating steals to bother his opponent, Brewer skillfully blocked Morris’s breakthrough. Metta World Peace’s shooting was 0/5 today, a disastrous performance, and Morris wasn’t very talented at making smart kick-out passes, so Brewer’s decision was a good one.

“Shit!”

Darius Morris had little experience facing a defender like Brewer. Moreover, it was no exaggeration to say that Dallas brought in Corey Brewer for his 1-1 defensive potential. Brewer’s maximum expectation was Metta World Peace (2004 NBA Defensive Player of the Year, then Ron Artest), who he was facing today.

Eventually, Darius Morris had no choice but to pass it out, and he realized his mistake. A predictable kick-out pass, and Corey Brewer, who had abandoned Darius Morris, jumped into the passing lane. Brewer, who showed strong defensive ability with his quick hands and agility, found an easy target.

Thwack!

[Wow! Corey Brewer! What a steal!!]

[Morris commits a turnover, showing his rookie status! He was flustered when faced with a situation different from what he expected and failed to show a proper follow-up move.]

Brewer immediately started running. The only players who could catch up with Brewer’s incredible mobility right now were Darius Morris and Metta World Peace. World Peace had already penetrated into the paint for a pick-and-roll, and Darius Morris was barely able to keep up with Brewer.

“Eek!”

Darius Morris, who was desperately chasing, jumped up behind Brewer, who had already penetrated to the low post and was about to put up a layup, and forcefully struck the ball – although, if you considered his hand to be the ball, you could say he hit the ball.

Beeeep!!

[Corey Brewer! Is his wrist okay? That was a foul that looked like it was intended to shatter his wrist!]

Brewer gritted his teeth and held back his anger, but Darius Morris’s brazen behavior, shrugging as if he was wronged, made Brewer clench his fists without realizing it. There is no place that affects a basketball player’s skills as much as their hands. Of course, it wasn’t to the point of being shattered, but if he intentionally committed a foul, he should at least pretend not to know. Acting wronged like that only made Brewer’s blood boil.

[As expected of Brewer, his hot-tempered personality is revealed. It’s important for professional players to always maintain composure.]

“Hey.”

Terry, who understood Brewer best, patted Brewer on the back and nodded, telling him to calm down. Brewer stood at the free-throw line, bounced the ball, and lightly sank both shots before glaring sharply at Darius Morris. Darius Morris swallowed hard but showed no further reaction and could only breathe a sigh of relief.

[Well, the third quarter is over with Corey Brewer’s free throws. What do you think?]

Barkley, with a resigned tone, replied to Mike Breen’s question, saying there was nothing more to say.

[I’m tired now. I just want to openly criticize both teams’ players. The score for the third quarter is 16:7. You all know Brendan Fraser, the famous actor, right? The guy who filmed ‘The Mummy.’ There’s a movie he starred in called ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth.’ At this rate, we could make a short film called ‘Journey to Find the Lost 12 Minutes’! The combined score of both teams is about the average points one team scores in a quarter!]

Shaquille O’Neal calmed Charles Barkley for a moment, then made a surprised expression like a researcher who had discovered something amazing and spoke in a serious tone.

[Did you notice? Did the viewers notice? This is a really amazing discovery… The fact that the LA Lakers’ field goal scored 4 minutes and 48 seconds into the second quarter was their last score. They haven’t scored for a whopping 7 minutes and 12 seconds, and if it weren’t for Corey Brewer’s two free throws, the Dallas Mavericks would have been scoreless for 6 minutes and 13 seconds. In other words, the scoreboard at Staples Center hasn’t changed for the last 6 minutes of the third quarter!!!]

If viewers had heard Shaquille O’Neal’s commentary, they would have been horrified. It was truly so bad that it was funny, and the price of the comedy was a scoreboard that didn’t move.

[Shaq! I just got goosebumps. Hearing that makes me even more crazy. Why are we even commentating? Is this a match between championship contenders? Even an NCAA Tournament, no… I think even watching a 50-point low-scoring game in the NCAA would be more watchable than this. At least there, there’s passion, and you can enjoy watching young players grow!]

[The audience probably wants to say this right now: ‘Give me my money back!!’]

[For today’s game, the viewers watching on TV at home are the winners. No, anyone who didn’t watch this game and read a self-help book or slept… anyway, anyone who didn’t watch this game and just breathed is the winner! As far as I know, the general admission ticket price at Staples Center today is over $110. To pay that expensive ticket price and watch such an eye-rotting game.]

The score is 46 to 51. What is clear is that this score is not the score after the end of the second quarter, but the score at the end of the third quarter. Dallas was leading by 5 points, but this lead could be overturned at any time. Both teams were repeating fierce digging, so it wouldn’t be strange if either team collapsed and had a bumper crop of turnovers, but it wasn’t because one team was doing well.

The expectation that something would change in the fourth quarter was brutally crushed. The fortunate thing was that the game was so fiercely competitive that it was now beyond absurd and even funny, which kept the fans watching. They say that if you’re too bad, you don’t even get angry, and that’s exactly what it was like.

In any case, the performance, which was not even worth describing, continued steadily, and the game of comedy, which was like hell, had only 20 seconds left. Coincidentally, the score was 70 to 70. That means that both teams had some offensive power in the fourth quarter, with the Lakers scoring 26 points and Dallas scoring 19 points.

For the Lakers, Kobe Bryant scored 14 points, Andrew Bynum 11 points, and Pau Gasol and Derek Fisher 10 points each, so they all lived up to their names. But for Dallas, Dirk Nowitzki was overwhelming with 21 points, followed by Youngjae with 10 points, Tyson Chandler with 9 points, and the rest all scored less than 7 points.

Thump!!

[Wow! With 20 seconds left, Derek Fisher’s wide-open three-pointer hits the rim and bounces high! Tyson Chandler grabs the rebound! Dallas Mavericks calls a timeout! They’re going to set up the final attack properly and aim for the winning shot!]

[Dallas has many players who are strong in the clutch and have good tactical execution, but who should they trust today?]

[I think they’ll entrust the final shot to Nowitzki, who started making shots in the fourth quarter. Usually, the final clutch is handled by a guard with good dribbling, but Terry and Yoon are not in good condition today, and Nowitzki is second to none in clutch situations. He’s virtually impossible to block and has few turnovers.]

============================ Author’s Notes ============================

★Thank you to those who gave advance subscriptions, recommendations, comments, and coupons!!

＠Originally, I was going to include the commentary that it’s better to be a winning idiot if you’re an idiot whether you win or lose, but I thought it would be a bit much to use the word “idiot” on the broadcast. If you read it thinking of “fool” instead of “idiot,” it will sound more natural.

＠The average NBA ticket price is $48.5 (about 55,000 won). The New York Knicks are in 1st place at $117.5 (about 133,000 won), the LA Lakers are in 2nd place at $99 (about 112,500 won), Boston is in 3rd place at $68.5 (about 77,000 won), Chicago is in 4th place at $68.5 (about 75,000 won), and Miami is in 5th place at $67 (about 76,000 won). This is an average, so the ticket price varies depending on the opposing team. In domestic sports, the ticket price is the same for all regular-season games. But in the NBA, the ticket price varies from game to game. For example, Lakers vs. Boston, Knicks vs. Miami games are more expensive than usual. I’m talking about the official ticket price, not scalped tickets.

Ultra10/// It really feels like watching a KBL [Korean Basketball League] game. It was a game where the people who watched from home were the winners; no, the people who didn’t watch and only saw the results were the winners.

Fabian/// I’m reminded of the game on May 1, 2014, when SK set a new record with 8 errors in one game. I don’t remember the date, but I remember the 8 errors ㅋㅋ. So much so that if you type “sk 8” on Naver [South Korean search engine], it auto-completes. It’s almost on par with that. It was a festival of airballs that is hard to see in the NBA.

GoddessYuriPraise, ㅎ0ㅎ, 神天花///If the defense is good and the score is low, it’s at least fun to watch, but that was just a *byeongsin-match* [Korean slang for a game played poorly by both sides].

Lee Dongseok, -DarkANGEL-, VanishingSoul, Omariyon, Financia/// Thank you for your comments!!

goimosp/// It’s the same game as the date. I recommend not watching it if possible;;;

misscherry/// I don’t know how the players felt, but I think some of them might have felt that way.