Lazy Genius Striker [EN]: Chapter 59

< 058. A Gentleman's Revenge >

Manchester United fans had a particular way of looking at today’s game.

‘Audition.’

An audition, meaning an entrance exam or tryout.

Specifically, an audition for Johann to join Manchester United.

They were treating this game as a chance to see if Johann was worthy of playing at Old Trafford.

West Ham fans, and supporters of other teams, scoffed at the Manchester United fans’ attitude, but the Red Devils’ faithful were dead serious.

They were convinced that if Johann were to transfer, Manchester United would be his destination.

There was no real basis for this belief.

Except for their unwavering pride in Manchester United.

‘Man-boo-wa’ [a playful Korean phrase suggesting someone has no choice but to come to Manchester United].

*You have to come if Manchester United calls.*

Regardless of their current form, they believed Manchester United was still the most prestigious team in the Premier League.

Therefore, the Manchester United fans who came to Old Trafford should have been satisfied, in theory.

Johann’s ‘audition’ was undeniably successful.

However,

their expressions told a different story; they were gloomy.

A successful audition should be *moderate*.

If the auditionee completely overwhelms the judges, can it still be called an audition?

This wasn’t an audition; it was a one-sided thrashing.

The fireworks started in the 4th minute of the first half.

Johann, receiving the ball just outside the box, boldly drove straight in.

Defenders can’t afford to make heavy, body-to-body challenges inside the penalty area.

Knowing this, Johann simply nudged the ball forward and took off running.

Shuaaa-

The kicked ball nutmegged [passed between the legs of] the defender.

A nutmeg is the ultimate humiliation for a defender.

And was this defender just any ordinary player?

No.

It was Jude Harrison, who, alongside Chelsea’s Bellamy, formed the center-back partnership for the England national team.

Yet, Harrison completely failed to protect his legs and allowed the ball to pass through.

Johann’s movement was simply too quick. He accelerated so suddenly that even Harrison couldn’t react.

In the end, all Harrison could do was raise his hands, watching Johann fly past.

It was a futile gesture, meant to indicate there was no contact.

Allowing Johann to break through into the box was far more dangerous than conceding a penalty.

Ppeoooeeeeeong-!

Having breezed past Harrison, Johann aimed for the far corner of the goal with his left foot.

Shuaaaaaaaaa-!

Clang-!

The shot, placed low and with pinpoint accuracy, struck the inside of the far post and rippled the Manchester United net.

Johann’s first goal. So easy, so effortless.

“Waaaaaa-!”

When Johann’s goal exploded just five minutes into the game, the away fans in the Old Trafford away section erupted in cheers.

And in the midst of it all,

“That’s right!”

Ban Seok-ho was particularly ecstatic, jumping up and down.

Ban Seok-ho had deliberately chosen a seat in the middle of the away section today.

He wanted to enjoy the game to the fullest, knowing he’d likely be beaten up if he sat any closer to the home fans.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to control his excitement.

As expected.

Ban Seok-ho was hugging and throwing his arms around complete strangers.

Thanks to him, the West Ham fans around Ban Seok-ho were having a particularly good time.

“You have the best son!”

“Player of the Year, Barney Jr.! Father of the Year, Barney Sr.!”

“Hiddleston! Look at that guy’s expression! Woo-ha-ha!”

The fans, of course, knew about the history.

The fact that Ban Seok-ho and Hiddleston had clashed repeatedly during their playing careers.

As is typical of PL fans, West Ham supporters hadn’t just started following the team yesterday.

Therefore, the fans around Ban Seok-ho pointed towards the Manchester United bench and shouted, and Ban Seok-ho joined in.

“Not yet, you bastard! I might have been satisfied with one goal, but my son won’t be!”

“Uwaaaaaaa!”

“I’ll say it again, you have the best son!”

“West Ham genes!”

“Barney! Your grandson will be even more amazing! So accept my daughter!”

“Shut up! My daughter is prettier!”

“What? Are you kidding me! Do you have a picture? Do you have a picture?”

“Here! Look!”

“Hey, my daughter is much prettier! Here! Look!”

“Don’t be funny! You’re a complete pumpkin!”

“Pumpkin? You son of a bitch! Your daughter looks like Haaland because she looks like you!”

“You son of a bitch! That’s too harsh!”

The fans were even getting into minor squabbles with each other, fueled by their excitement.

Anyway, this wasn’t enough.

That wasn’t just Ban Seok-ho’s thought, but Johann’s as well.

Whenever Johann got the ball, the atmosphere at Old Trafford shifted dramatically.

Not only the spectators in the front rows, but even those in the upper tiers could feel it.

The moment Johann received possession, the Manchester United players seemed to tense up, and somehow, it felt like cracks were appearing in their defense.

It was undeniably different.

Just… different.

And then it became clear.

Why a team like West Ham was currently ranked 1st in the league.

Why a team that should be in the mid-to-lower ranks was on such an incredible winning streak.

It was simply because a player of a different caliber was wearing the West Ham uniform.

The Manchester United team, who had been on a recent rise with a 3-game winning streak, were nowhere to be seen.

It felt like a regression to the start of the season, or even last season.

Back to the days when the team was underperforming and the manager was sacked mid-season.

The defense was completely disorganized, and everyone seemed to be watching in confusion. There was a distinct lack of hustle.

This was especially noticeable compared to the West Ham players.

If you compared the salaries of both teams, Manchester United’s was overwhelmingly higher by an absurd margin.

But perhaps that was the reason.

The West Ham players were visibly gritting their teeth and working hard, while the Manchester United players showed none of that urgency.

Consequently, West Ham was dominating the game.

And, amidst all of that, the opportunities for Johann were increasing.

“Block him!”

“Don’t even think about passing, just block him! Don’t let him get the ball at all!”

“You can’t stop him! Swallow your pride!”

The fans seemed to understand what the players hadn’t grasped yet.

They had conceded the first goal in such a humiliating fashion, yet they still clung to their pride.

The belief that they could stop Johann even if he got the ball.

Why? Because they were the best players in Europe, earning the highest salaries.

*Who are we? We are the stars of Manchester United, the most prestigious club in the Premier League.*

However, they should have made it a habit to check sites like Transfermarkt [a website that tracks player values and transfers] more often.

If they had, they would have abandoned such arrogance long ago.

Because, with a few exceptions,

Johann’s salary had already surpassed that of most of the Manchester United players.

It was only natural.

Come on.

Tell me if there’s another 16-year-old English striker, scoring 1.5 goals per game in the PL, standing at 186 centimeters tall, who *doesn’t* command a massive salary.

There was no way.

And Johann continued to justify that salary.

Johann’s second goal came in the 17th minute of the first half.

This time, it goes through his legs again! This time, Harrison grabs and clings! Whistle… No! Johann shakes him off and keeps going!>

As if determined to completely shatter Harrison’s pride, Johann nutmegged him again, just like with the first goal.

However, this time it wasn’t inside the box, and Harrison risked a yellow card by grabbing and clinging to Johann’s shirt.

But Johann shrugged him off with sheer force and continued his run. A scene where an ordinary player would have fallen or looked to the referee.

But Harrison’s grip couldn’t stop Johann’s determination.

Johann entered the penalty box and fired a shot with his right foot towards the near post, finding the perfect blind spot for his second goal.

And, at that point, the Manchester United players couldn’t help but complain.

*Why is this guy in such incredible form today of all days?*

*Why is that lazy guy flying around like this today, when he’s playing against us?*

December was already brutal.

Most of the Manchester United players were struggling physically due to the relentless schedule.

Moreover, unlike West Ham, they were also competing in the Europa League.

But Johann was full of energy because he was… well, lazy.

Johann always came out well-rested.

So even in December, when everyone else was gasping for air, he was as fresh as he would be in August.

Anyway, Johann was a disaster for Manchester United.

And,

“······”

The expression on James Hiddleston’s face, as he watched the game, was gradually hardening like stone.

Hiddleston was hardening not only his expression but also his resolve.

*Okay.*

*Let’s apologize.*

*Let’s do something before the second half turns into a complete rout,* he thought.

Two more goals were scored before the end of the first half.

Fortunately for Manchester United fans, one of them was scored by their own team.

But, in reality, it offered little comfort.

Because the star of the other goal was, once again, Johann.

Barney, recording his fourth hat trick this season! But that’s not the problem! The problem is that it’s still the first half!>

The Manchester United defense is offering no resistance at all. What can they do? To turn the game around, they must first prevent further goals. But, at this rate, they won’t be able to catch up, let alone turn it around. The difference in speed is too significant.>

He had scored three goals before the end of the first half.

So, even scoring one goal themselves didn’t feel like they were closing the gap.

At this rate, the difference would only widen as the game progressed.

Therefore, after the whistle signaling the end of the first half, a cold feeling settled over Old Trafford.

The energy of a disaster.

That same feeling of dread that had washed over them when they were *thrashed* by Manchester City 1-6 in the distant past, or when they were *demolished* by Liverpool 0-5 a few years ago.

That lethargic and chilling air permeated Old Trafford.

“···”

Hiddleston had already left his seat before the whistle blew.

And, instead of heading to the locker room, he waited for the end of the first half in the tunnel where the players would be exiting.

If you thought about it, it was absurd and almost comical.

To suddenly greet an opposing player after the first half? Or even the opposing team’s manager?

It wasn’t just asking for a favor; it was ridiculous.

But Hiddleston felt compelled to do this ridiculous thing.

He couldn’t bear the thought of *not* doing it.

He was, after all, a revered figure in Manchester. He was someone who had earned what is commonly called *kkabangkwon* [a Korean term referring to a ‘get out of jail free card’ or immunity from criticism due to past achievements].

However, if they suffered a major humiliation today, even that *kkabangkwon* might not be enough.

How many legends had taken charge of Manchester United as ‘firefighters’ [managers brought in to rescue a struggling team] over the years?

All of them were worshipped as gods during their playing careers, but they were treated mercilessly as managers.

If their performance was even slightly below par, their heads would be on the chopping block, and they would lose all the popularity they had gained during their playing days.

Besides, what if Johann gave an interview after the game?

An interview where he said he worked hard to avenge his father.

Hiddleston thought he was capable of such a thing. He had seen him speaking confidently a few days ago.

If he gave such an interview, he would surely face tremendous criticism from the fans.

It also meant that recruiting Johann would be difficult while Hiddleston was in charge.

Recruiting Johann was currently what the fans desired most.

How much would they curse him if they knew that their wish couldn’t be fulfilled because of the manager?

He didn’t want that.

Therefore,

“Oh, there.”

After the end of the first half, Hiddleston approached Johann, singling him out from the other players walking through the tunnel.

He smiled awkwardly and extended his hand.