The Regressor Only Protects Me [EN]: Chapter 218

218. Finale (5)

Standing before the Gate of Truth, I carefully touched its frame.

A strange feeling washed over me.

If I simply exerted a bit of force and opened this gate, I could learn all the truths of the world.

I could become a being from another dimension—or, to use the Absolute’s words, a higher-dimensional existence.

It was such a simple thing.

All I had to do was open the gate.

But I would never choose this path.

High status, vast knowledge, and favorable circumstances were undoubtedly valuable. That’s why so many people shed blood to obtain them.

It was a recurring theme in human history.

Risking one’s life for something of higher value.

That didn’t change even if you became the emperor of an empire. Qin Shi Huang [the first emperor of China] built a massive tomb to enjoy his reign even in death, but in the end, all that awaited him was death.

Death is equal to everyone and is the final destination for all things.

Endless desire is a weakness inherent to humanity.

Even if I opened this gate and learned the truth of the world, could I truly achieve ‘satisfaction’?

Even if I became the ruler of Seoul, a lord of tens of thousands, or even conquered East Asia, could I be satisfied?

Gold, silver, and jewels. A vast amount of knowledge, worship, deification.

No matter what ‘value’ that makes up the world I bring, I cannot be satisfied.

If I gained a value of 10, I would seek a value of 100.

If I gained a value of 100, I would seek a value of 1,000.

Numbers are infinite, so greed is infinite.

I turned my gaze from the Gate of Truth and looked at the Absolute.

The Absolute was floating in the air, looking at me.

Seeing the Absolute’s face, as if waiting for an answer, I felt pity.

The sight of the Absolute playing with the lives of hundreds of millions and wandering between this side and the other side of the universe in pursuit of higher value was pitiful.

Reaching that thought, I asked myself.

-How do you want to live then?

I had been wandering because of the questions I had asked myself until now.

Because I myself cannot answer that question.

Even when I had arguments with my sister, I didn’t clearly state my claims.

How do I want to live?

What do I want to do?

I sought out my sister and found her.

I stood at the end of the world to fulfill Jin Jaehee’s dream.

What do I really want?

What can make me happy?

I retraced my memories. A few things came to mind.

Once. It must have been a Sunday afternoon. The place was Hangang Park [a large park in Seoul along the Han River].

I was lying in Hangang Park during my lunch break while working a part-time job at an event.

I didn’t come to hang out, but to work as event staff.

At that time, I was lying sprawled out in the park, not caring about what others thought.

To catch up on sleep during my lunch break.

But I felt so good at that time.

Was it because it was by the river?

The breeze felt good.

I don’t know why.

It was a feeling of happiness that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

The feeling of lying by the river, feeling the futility of life, was so good. It was so. So. Good.

Why live so hard?

Just live as you go.

Accepting myself as ‘me.’

Feeling every moment of my life without missing a single second.

I was just dust in the universe, but that’s why it was even better.

Like enjoying the gentle breeze while lying in Hangang Park right now.

From the moment I was pulled out of the swamp of death, I was grateful for every moment, even the process of feeding my sister.

It was just a small thing to someone.

But I felt small happiness in all of it.

When my sister hugged me.

When luck unexpectedly came my way.

When I arrived at the traffic light, and the light happened to change.

When the foreman gave me an extra crumpled ten thousand won bill [approximately $8 USD] for doing a really good job today.

When I woke up refreshed in the morning.

My sister’s soundly sleeping figure.

Those moments were happy.

Even though my body was a little tired, I know that it was never wrong.

I’m doing well.

I just need to keep doing what I’m doing.

‘There’s nothing difficult.’

I just need to get out of this place.

I took a step back from the Gate of Truth.

And I started to go back down the white jade stairs.

Then the Absolute followed me down the stairs and kept talking.

“This choice is not something to be decided with short-sighted thinking. There is a value beyond that door that is hundreds of millions of times greater than everything you have. Are you giving that up? How can you be so foolish? Look at what you have achieved. This is not something anyone can do. All the values that only those chosen like you can enjoy. It’s absurd to give up all of this.”

Colors began to be painted on the black and white surroundings.

With each step down the stairs, a scene flashed by.

People who worship me.

People who look up to me.

Vast territory.

And gold and silver treasures.

Trampling on all of that, I go down.

The Absolute said.

“Kang Si-On. Wait. It’s too hasty a judgment.”

It’s not hasty.

“This is not right. It is a great loss from a cosmic point of view that you, who have come to the Gate of Truth, are turning back even though you can become a higher dimension.”

What I’m doing is right.

No one can say anything.

Don’t waver.

Their words are just sugar-coated words to make me move according to their thoughts.

“Kang Si-On!”

There’s not much left now.

The white jade stairs I step on are turning black, and the world full of color has darkened again like the night sky.

And finally, I came down the last step.

Thud-

“……”

The moment I let go of everything that oppressed me, I felt refreshed.

Like those days.

* * *

The Absolute stopped there and looked down at me.

“In the end.”

The Absolute swallowed what he was about to say.

But soon he spoke again.

“Is this how it ends up being, after all.”

I looked at him.

The Absolute came down from the air and met my eyes.

The Absolute stood in front of me.

We didn’t say a word to each other for a while.

I’m just waiting for the Absolute’s words according to my choice.

And then, the Absolute smiled softly.

“Yeah. Somehow, I thought you would.”

Then, one hand of the Absolute was raised.

And he fiddled with the mask.

I looked at the face inside the mask.

Clatter-.

A sound of something being released was heard, and the Absolute took off the mask.

As the mask came off, the black hair that had been hidden began to flutter in the wind.

I frowned slightly.

“You are.”

The girl inside the mask had Jin Jaehee’s face.

She was wearing a pleasant smile.

My eyelids fluttered slightly.

No matter how much I looked, it was amazing.

The Absolute naturally let go of the mask he was holding.

Clatter- Thud.

The mask fell naturally to the ground.

The Absolute had slightly sad eyes, but still, the corners of his lips were slightly raised.

It was a beautiful smile that made the person looking at it feel happy.

She looked up at the sky for a moment.

I couldn’t know what she was thinking.

I asked carefully.

“Jin Jaehee?”

The Absolute looked at the sky, then slowly lowered his head at my question.

And she tidied up her side hair fluttering in the wind and swept it behind her ear.

“It’s a name I abandoned a long time ago.”

“What… do you mean?”

“It doesn’t mean much. Should I say it’s a slightly different Jin Jaehee from the Jin Jaehee you knew?”

Multiple universes.

I have seen another me in that multiple universe twice.

The first time I saw it was the me in the multiple universe who died in the Pamian E-Mart complex in the battle with Do-an.

The second time I saw it was the higher-dimensional me I saw when I lost consciousness in Bit-nam.

Judging from that, the Jin Jaehee in front of me is definitely Jin Jaehee, but she will be different from the Jin Jaehee I knew.

“Amazing. You. You were the mastermind behind all of this. Anyway, I knew you hated this league.”

I was a little wary of the Absolute, but she doesn’t seem to be wary of me at all.

The Absolute came closer to me little by little.

I didn’t avoid it, and her two arms wrapped around my neck.

“……”

I was a little surprised and looked at her profile as she hugged me.

Her eyes were closed, but a faint smile could be seen.

The warm body temperature like a person and the arms wrapped around my back were very cozy.

“Wait a minute……”

As I was about to say something, she hugged me even tighter.

“Don’t ask anything. Because we can’t talk to each other anymore. According to the contract of truth, now I can only talk to you.”

I couldn’t understand not being able to talk.

Aren’t we talking right now?

The Absolute still hugged me and said.

“You chose to go back. Until now, I had a desire to leave you here, but that was just my greed to go to a higher dimension. Now I respect your choice. And your courage too. I hope you are happy. We will… become so far apart that we won’t even feel each other’s existence. But don’t worry. I promise I will do my best to keep your world from collapsing.”

I tried to say something, but now it didn’t come out of my mouth as if I was under Silence.

Then, the Absolute hugged me even tighter.

“I’m sorry. Si-On. In the realm of infinity, I wanted to obtain someone who had awakened the truth by experiencing various universes to gather puzzles in a finite world. I tell you that you will become a higher-dimensional being, but no. I also have dreams. …I know that I am a bad existence to you. But the name ‘Kang Si-On’ is so precious to me too. What I realized while experiencing multiple universes is that we are more alike than we think.”

The Absolute pushed me away a little.

She looked down at me with a pleasant smile.

“Now be happy. You were really able to find the path that makes you happy. On the one hand. No. I envy you. Your life with an end point.”

I couldn’t understand anything she was saying.

But one thing was certain, the words of this Absolute who was speaking to me now were by no means false.

The Absolute said.

“If you go back, please keep one thing in mind. You have no choice but to go back with your memories. Because you are the one who approached the Gate of Truth, this is not a problem I can do anything about. However, another ‘me’ next to you will now choose.”

Choice? Does Jaehee also have a choice to make?

“You may have felt it by now, but another me is also someone who has approached the truth. She is already a higher-dimensional being. So, she will be given a chance to choose. However, since she did not approach this gate in this dimension, there will be a passive choice.”

I felt like I knew what it was.

And the Absolute continued with a bitter smile.

“The first choice she can make is to lose all her memories and go back.”

That means that Jin Jaehee in this world will lose all the memories she had with me and return to being an ordinary citizen of the Republic of Korea in the 21st century.

I knew that was what Jin Jaehee really wanted.

Jin Jaehee wants a normal life.

Even though it’s a bit of a thorny path, she will want to go back to her original state and walk the path of music with her friends.

“The second choice she can make is to go back with all her memories.”

……That would really be the worst choice for Jin Jaehee.

If she deliberately revives the memories she wants to forget and goes back.

If she goes back to the past with all those desperate and painful memories, will she really be happy?

Will she be able to continue her dream of becoming a singer even with the memories she had with me?

“It’s heartbreaking, but. This is the fate you guys have to accept.”

The Absolute urged again.

“And if, in the situation where you go back, she made the first choice. You must never pretend to know her. Under no circumstances should you know each other’s names.”

Why?

“In that case, even Jin Jaehee, who made the first choice, will be injected with all the memories she originally had. In other words, it will be no different from making the second choice. This is why a complete regression is absolutely impossible. Someone rewinding the universe is no different from the universe being recreated around that someone. So, the world will be created based on that someone. This is not a regulation. Like gravity, like light, like planets and galaxies. This is a ‘phenomenon.’”

……That means.

Even if I regressed and went back, I shouldn’t pretend to know Jin Jaehee.

I will inevitably know her name, but she must not know my name.

I momentarily frowned at the overwhelming emotion.

I went through all that hardship and finally came ‘together’ to this place, but when we go back, we become strangers.

I examined the Absolute’s two eyes.

The Absolute said.

“I don’t want to believe it, but I’m sorry. This is because it is a choice. Just as I cannot interfere with your choice. I cannot interfere with the choice of another me in this world.”

Then, everything around me began to fill with color again.

To be exact, it was the world I was originally in.

The Absolute kissed me on the cheek, stepped back, and said.

“I’ll give you time to say your last goodbyes. After that, it’s really over.”

After saying that, the Absolute disappeared into the air again.

The city that was revealed again was all destroyed.

And in the middle of that ruined city, she was standing.

She seemed to be healing her sister inside the shield, but soon she turned her head and looked at me.

(To be continued in the next episode)