An Actor Who Has Lived For 10,000 Years [EN]: Chapter 328

328. #60 – The Vortex (1)

After the script reading.

My daily life was monotonous.

A life like a hamster on a wheel.

I spent each day preparing for the movie ‘Karma’.

The first thing I did each morning was head to my study.

Which, of course, was right next to the bed.

The script for ‘Karma’ was always at my bedside.

I was with that script from the moment I opened my eyes until I closed them.

So, in the morning, I focused solely on the script.

Even on the short walk from the bed to the study, I recited lines.

“The target of today’s execution list isn’t just one person…. Their names? Haha, do I even need to know that much?”

I stretched my lips into a wide grin as I headed to the study. Even if I wasn’t actively thinking about the script, the lines would spill out if you poked me.

I had memorized the script that thoroughly.

Nevertheless, the reason I read the script every morning wasn’t just to memorize the lines.

It was to breathe life into every line, every word.

What state of mind should I be in when I say these words? What tone and expression should I use?

I had to study and practice that in depth.

That way, I would look like a killer, and the killer would look like me.

As soon as I sat down in the study, I straightened my posture and opened the script.

And I started practicing from the first scene.

How many hours passed?

It was well past lunchtime.

At 2 p.m., I leaned back in my chair.

Food wasn’t on my mind.

I wasn’t hungry, and I didn’t even have time to feel hungry.

I was just contemplating the act of killing people as a killer, and the fate of the people who die at the killer’s hands.

Only those two lives.

I closed my eyes and began to think about the life of a killer.

Imagining the life of a killer?

There was no need for such imagination.

My numerous past lives…

Out of 10,000 years of life, I’d lived as a killer many times.

There were so many heinous lives – psychopaths, sociopaths, and murderers.

It was overwhelming just to recall the memories of my past, let alone imagine it.

I recalled the events of those times and imprinted my appearance as a killer onto my mind.

Extremely sensitive and sharp eyes.

A light body that nimbly wields a knife and quickly aims a gun while in hiding.

A cruel expression that kills people with his own hands and ends their lives without a shred of guilt.

I spent hours repeatedly mind-controlling myself to embody the life of a murderer, to become the killer itself.

“Haa….”

After repeating it for hours, all that came out of my mouth was a rough sigh.

Even after that, my recollection didn’t stop.

The second role I had to play: the victims.

The victims who are killed by the killer.

A role that must vividly capture their painful demise.

That, too, was easily captured in my mind.

Because there were countless pasts of writhing in pain and being brutally murdered in my 10,000 years of life.

Numerous pasts of being stabbed with a knife and shot to death.

I writhed as I recalled those days.

The past appearance of being brutally murdered wasn’t just a memory; the pain of that moment was felt intact.

The pain of being stabbed with a knife and the skin being torn.

The feeling of setting my body on fire and the indescribable heat of burning no matter how much I moved.

To the point where I couldn’t breathe because a bullet pierced my body after being shot.

I spent every day repeating those moments.

Suddenly, my face reflected in the mirror was an indescribable sight.

I rubbed my cheeks with my hands.

“My face is a mess….”

A figure so haggard that it was hard to recognize as human.

Dark circles were deeply etched under both eyes, their extent almost impossible to gauge.

I hadn’t eaten properly, so my cheeks were sunken.

But in the meantime, I felt a faint sense of joy at the thought that my acting was continuing to improve.

In fact, even if I combined all the acting I’ve done so far, I don’t think there has ever been a more perfect level of acting than this.

“But… I don’t know if I’m addicted to this role, or if I’m becoming the role itself….”

I had recalled and cherished it so many times that I didn’t have to recall my past life anymore, but I was recalling the same past every day.

Of course, the reason for this was to focus on acting, but the most important thing was the ‘headache’.

The headache that had returned recently.

When I started practicing by recalling my past life, the headache disappeared as if it had been washed away.

Even though I knew I was becoming haggard, I couldn’t stop thinking today.

***

As I lived the same day over and over again, and the role and I became one.

Finally, the start of filming was approaching.

As soon as Manager Park arrived at my accommodation, he handed me food with a worried look.

“Hee-sung, I know practice is good, but please eat while you do it.”

At his words, I nodded.

“I will.”

Manager Park began to recite the schedule as he moved the Korean dishes he had packed into bowls.

“Our filming starts next week.”

“Yeah, from Monday next week?”

He nodded and set the spoons and chopsticks.

“Yeah. And this filming will take about 6 months. After that, editing and release.”

I sat down where Manager Park had set up, and he also sat across from me and picked up his spoon.

“And after the release, you’ll practice the musical for about 3 months, and then start performing right away.”

“Yeah, I’ll be busy from next week.”

Manager Park looked at the desk calendar on the living room table and replied.

“That’s right. So, acting practice is good, but take care of your body too. I’ll eat and mark the schedule on the calendar again. You do look at that calendar, right?”

“Yeah, I do. I’m going to rest and prepare from now on. I was surprised when I looked in the mirror.”

At my words, Manager Park put down his spoon.

“Yeah, your face is a mess right now. You look too thin and tired.”

I forced a smile and gestured as if to say don’t worry.

“Let’s heal and rest this week. Tell me if there’s anything you want to eat. I’ll prepare it.”

“Thank you.”

“So, are you going to keep practicing at home this week too?”

At his question, I shook my head.

“No. Yuna is coming to see me this week.”

“Yuna is coming to LA?”

“Yeah, we won’t be able to see each other for a while once filming starts. And it’s hard to contact each other because of the time difference. So, Yuna is coming to stay for a few days.”

At my words, Manager Park shouted with an even happier face.

“That’s great.”

“What is?”

“You looked tired. But I’m relieved that Yuna is coming to be by your side.”

At his words, I chuckled, and I felt awkward at the smile on my face after a long time.

I was already feeling relieved that Yuna was coming.

The intermittent headaches.

Those pains that I had barely endured and pushed away with acting and recollection.

All of that would disappear cleanly in an instant if Yuna was by my side.

***

From the day she arrived in my space, my pain disappeared as if it had been washed away.

“It’s good to be together.”

At my words, Song Yuna smiled and leaned on my shoulder.

“You must have had a hard time.”

Now, Song Yuna seemed to know me just by looking at my eyes and face.

What kind of life I had been living while I was away from her.

I smiled brightly so she wouldn’t worry and opened my mouth.

“Of course. It was hard because I couldn’t see my girlfriend when I wanted to, and I only practiced acting.”

At my words, Song Yuna chuckled and shrugged her shoulders.

“Well, how much would you have missed me when such a pretty girlfriend is alone in Korea.”

At her words, I burst into laughter, and I couldn’t even remember how long it had been since I had laughed like this without any worries.

“Thank you for coming all the way to America to see me.”

“Don’t thank me. So, be good to me.”

“Haha, I will.”

I jumped up and reached out my hand to Song Yuna.

“Let’s go out.”

“Huh?”

“We can’t just stay at home when we’ve come all the way to LA. Let’s go on a date.”

At my words, she widened her eyes and shook her head.

“What date? Even if it’s America, there will be people who recognize you, *oppa* [term of endearment used by a younger woman to an older brother or male friend].”

“I don’t think anyone will know?”

“Geez, Jin Hee-sung is pretending to be humble again. *Oppa*, you’ve become famous all over the world because of the ‘Undercover’ movie.”

“Ah….”

At her words, I scratched my head.

“That’s true, but if they see me on the street, will they really recognize me?”

“Of course. It’s famous because paparazzi shots and people recognized you driving a Genesis car here and took pictures.”

I couldn’t refute Song Yuna’s words.

The car I drive in LA.

The clothes and shoes I wear.

The reason why all of this became famous and sold out was because of the secretly taken photos.

I immediately went to the dressing room, put on a hat and a mask, and approached Song Yuna.

“Let’s go out like this. If you wear a hat and cover your face, it’ll be okay. If you go to the middle of LA, no one cares about each other.”

At my words, Song Yuna hesitated for a moment, then nodded and took my hand.

“Well, everyone in Korea already knows we’re dating. What if we get photographed again!”

At her words, I smiled and pulled the hand I was holding to lift Song Yuna up.

“Let’s go, let’s go on a date!”

We left the house and arrived at an amusement park in LA.

A crowded throng of people.

Thanks to the many people, we felt more free.

Everyone was busy riding rides, taking pictures, and playing, so they didn’t seem to care about their surroundings.

“Wow… I love it.”

Song Yuna looked around the amusement park with a bright face like a child.

“It’s the first time I’ve come to an amusement park since I was 20 years old.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I’ve never come here to play except for filming.”

“Well, I guess so. If you go to an amusement park in Korea, people will recognize you.”

At my words, she chuckled and pointed at me with her chin.

“You do too. Didn’t you not come to amusement parks often either, *oppa*?”

At Song Yuna’s question, I answered with a smile.

I didn’t come to amusement parks often either.

Of course, as Jin Hee-sung.

However, in my past, I had worked at an amusement park and even built one.

I chuckled as I recalled the past 10,000 years.

We didn’t have to avoid people’s eyes.

We held hands as much as we wanted, rode rides, and roamed around with balloons.

We played like that for several hours, but Song Yuna didn’t get tired and pulled my hand.

“Let’s ride that again!”

“Again?”

“Yeah, quickly.”

I couldn’t stop her from being excited.

Because I knew so well that she had never played like this in her life.

I wanted to do everything Song Yuna wanted to do together.

***

“Today was so much fun.”

On the way home.

Song Yuna kept repeating the day’s events and was happy.

Just looking at her face made me smile.

“What about you, *oppa*?”

“I had a great time too. I was even happier because you liked it, Yuna.”

Song Yuna looked at the pictures of us she had taken on her cell phone and looked pleased, and at that moment when I was smiling at her…

Ugh….

Suddenly, I grabbed my head as a headache rushed back.

Why is this happening again?

I grabbed Song Yuna’s hand with the hand that was holding my head.

Then she smiled and said.

“What, do you like me that much?”

She held my hand tightly and smiled brightly, but even so, my headache did not subside.

Usually, the headache didn’t come just by being with her.

But for some reason, my head was still throbbing now that we were holding hands, and the pain was increasingly tormenting me.

“Haa….”

“What, *oppa*, are you okay?”