Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 140

140.

I took out the laptop I always carry, and Mok-hwa set up the Bluetooth speaker he carries on the table between the chairs.

“Since I have a roughly produced recording, let’s just play this. It’s a bit much to sing completely live to the MR [music recorded without vocals] in an unprepared state.” Of course, I composed all the ranges to be comfortable for Mok-hwa to sing.

“Hyung, there’s something you have to mention when this airs.”

“…That you wrote the lyrics?”

“No. You have to say that Mok-hwa’s hyung composed this song directly for his younger brother. And it’s a scam if I say I wrote the lyrics, hyung. I only provided the ideas, but you actually wrote all my parts.”

This level of fraud would be okay as long as we don’t get caught, Dong-hwa’s younger brother. Ryu Iden said that exaggeration is a basic virtue on TV. And if there were no ideas, I wouldn’t have been able to write the lyrics, so it’s fair to say Mok-hwa wrote them. Aristotle’s way of proving the existence of God also follows this logic, so who can say Mok-hwa didn’t write the lyrics?

“You wrote it.”

“No… Okay, anyway, we wrote the lyrics and hyung! For me! Wrote this song himself, everyone! Isn’t it amazing!”

He’s already used to being on TV. He’s loved wherever he goes and he’s even smart.

Then he takes a bottle of water, wets his throat, and even checks if his voice is coming out well. Looking at that, I even have the silly thought that my mother’s talent might make Mok-hwa shine even more.

I smile contentedly and check the title of the recording on my laptop.

“Mok-hwa, you have to introduce the title.”

The original version of this song was written while recalling the experience of watching the sunset when I last went to the sea with Mok-hwa.

“Ah, but are you just going to do it without changing it? I decided on it, but it feels like I made it up too roughly.”

I simply shake my head. No matter what anyone says, it’s the best title.

“The title of this song is ‘Skyfall,’ viewers.”

When I first composed it, I wrote it while recalling warm yet chilly memories with Mok-hwa. So it seemed more suitable for a story about two brothers who survived alone in a dystopian world.

However, in the process of working with Mok-hwa while talking, the warm feeling became stronger than the ruthless feeling. Of course, considering that, the title has a strong sense of misery, but it’s still the best title.

“Are you ready?”

“Yeah, play it. I’m going to tear up the Busan sea today with the song hyung wrote for me.”

If you’re going to tear up the water, you have to tear it up at the molecular level, I wonder if he’s confident.

I play the song without much thought. It’s not the best sound quality, but the prelude flows smoothly. The piano melody sounds a bit solemn.

Fortunately, I told them in advance that I might sing, so I don’t have to worry about the microphone settings.

I open my mouth to the beat.

When the world ends, can I protect you?

Can my last memory be the smile you make while crying?

Now I wish I could

I want to make a period with you without regrets

I look at Mok-hwa and slowly spit it out. For some reason, I become emotional in front of my younger brother. The theme of the song is the words I wanted to say to each other. It’s about conveying emotions to each other that are too embarrassing to convey well.

Mok-hwa makes eye contact with me, nods to the rhythm, and soon opens his mouth.

When the sky fell, I was too young

And you already protected me with your small body

Now I wish I could

I want to be a new comma

Perhaps it’s because of the difference in personality, but I focused on the last moment, and Mok-hwa focused on this moment to write the lyrics. We are brothers, but perhaps because our parents’ personalities are at opposite extremes, there is such a difference.

But I tried to make it so that it wouldn’t feel too out of place even if we sang it in a row. If you know the story of our brothers, you can understand, but most listeners won’t.

The sound of the piano and strings intertwined with the sound of the sea. And Mok-hwa’s voice on top of that. It’s a little higher than mine, but it’s a comfortable voice that’s not uncomfortable.

I open my mouth to match Mok-hwa’s end.

Even in choices I regret, I desperately hoped I could protect you

This time, Mok-hwa continues to speak.

Even in moments I couldn’t understand, I desperately wanted you to be by my side

And together, we sing the chorus. The first two bars are what I want to say, and the remaining two bars are what Mok-hwa wants to say.

In the flow of time, I hope you don’t fade away

I desperately want, hope, and hope again

In the collapsed sky, I hope you are my salvation

I desperately want, hope, and want again

In the time I spent alone, in the time that I or Ki Ji-saeng endured, I hoped that you would not fade away in my head. It was painful to recall, and tears flowed as soon as I recalled it, so I suppressed it. But once a month, I would buy a crate of spirits and drink it while remembering you. At that time, my drinking habit was probably you.

In the time I spent alone, you longed for me to remain your salvation. You always wondered why I did that, and after knowing why, even if you couldn’t understand why I had to do that, you just wanted me to be by your side. At that time, your life was probably a series of events where my thoughts were always commas.

Lyrics that contained all those emotions. Thanks to the conversations we had while writing the lyrics, I was able to understand you more deeply. And how wrong my choices were.

But we decided to shake it off by singing it. We decided to tie up all the regrets and resentments left to each other and leave them as just desperate wishes. I wanted you to be by my side in the hospital room when I died, and you wanted me to be your breakwater until I died.

If I had made the title, I might have just put the two words ‘Hope’ without any fun, instead of ‘Skyfall’. I’m so glad Mok-hwa made it.

When the string melody rises during the interlude, Mok-hwa suddenly sheds tears. I take out a handkerchief and wipe it off.

“…The lyrics are so sad, you damn hyung.”

“You wrote it, Mok-hwa.”

And don’t pick up my *maltu* [speech pattern], you damn younger brother.

“Ha, seriously. If that happens again, I’ll only follow hyung’s ass for the rest of my life. Be careful, you’ve reserved a stalker who will follow you for the rest of your life.”

You’ve been doing that for the rest of your life even if you don’t leave again, Mok-hwa. I remained a *meojeori* [fool] for the rest of my life.

Mok-hwa’s crying gradually spread and he cried so loudly that he made a sound.

Against the background of the string music, I hug Mok-hwa and pat him on the back. Come to think of it, Mok-hwa had never shown me such a loud cry. Even when he cried, he just sobbed in a suppressed voice.

Perhaps this song is a time for Mok-hwa to cry for his past self.

* * *

After taking individual interviews, I got in the car to go to Seoul around 5 a.m. It ended earlier than expected.

Mok-hwa must have been a little exhausted from crying, and he fell asleep not long after.

‘Ki Ji-saeng, is it possible to have a conversation.’

[Ki Ji-saeng is sad because he doesn’t listen even if I tell him not to talk! No matter how much I have improved the technology to the point where I can control the burden on space-time!]

‘Enough with the private stories, when am I scheduled to be dragged to your side?’

[According to the schedule, it’s in my late 40s. That’s what you saw in the last piece of possibility.]

‘…Come to think of it, that looked like a face in his late 50s no matter how I looked at it.’

[Humans age easily if they don’t see the sunlight and only stay up all night. Don’t forget that you started to show signs of that when you were 29!]

I let out a deep sigh. I expected it, but I can’t help but feel complicated when I directly confirm the state that is not much different from being given a terminal sentence.

Yes, everything has an end. It is also the essence of life to always run towards the end. So don’t be too frustrated and give Mok-hwa everything you can before that.

‘Okay. Thank you for breaking the rule that you won’t respond even if I start a conversation.’

If you can’t change it, it’s better to accept it. It will be okay if you use even a short life efficiently.

[Please wait a moment. Didn’t you see that I said ‘originally’? It seems like you have a slight problem with your thoughts when it comes to Mok-hwa!]

I wait for the contents of the following notification window. Of course, I couldn’t help but think, ‘You’re doing the same thing.’

[You look down on me so much! Even when I had no emotions, I felt bad when my intelligence was ignored! It’s so ridiculous when a bug attacks that it feels irrational!]

…Yes, I know that, you damn Ki Ji-saeng. So you see me as a bug.

Comparing it, I clearly know less, so I accept this too. Bugs aren’t bad either. I’m also an experienced person who has been a mantis for a while.

[I have written down all the numbers. Do you think there is anyone here who knows how to trick old people who lack a sense of time as well as I do?]

…I will definitely,

[Live as long as I do. By the way, I can’t really tell you my lifespan. If I reveal the secrets of the heavens, I’ll have to be imprisoned again!]

I will make you experience this possibility. I will turn the intertwined timelines upside down and upside down again, without fail.

[Eat shit! You only know the basics of understanding space-time!]

Whatever you say, without fail.

* * *

“Mok-hwa, you’ve arrived at your dorm. Wake up.”

“Just 5 minutes…….”

After 5 minutes, we’re going to our dorm, Mok-hwa.

“Wake up, Dong-hwa’s younger brother. You have a schedule today too. Rest in bed.”

Mok-hwa wakes up with a start as if he was startled by the word schedule.

“Ah, Mok-hwa’s hyung, it was fun!”

And just before getting out of the car, Mok-hwa’s bright smile makes me feel good too.

After arriving at the dorm, I greet the manager and go inside. Well, sleeping for about an hour would be a lot.

When I open the door, Ryu Iden greets me while hanging from the horizontal bar.

“You’re here, Dong-hwa.”

“Yeah.”

If he’s that diligent, it’s certain that he’s far beyond the human realm.

Ryu Iden, who came down from the horizontal bar, holds his phone in front of my eyes.

’28th place Heung-Blossom’

It was just a simple capture, but it’s clear what he’s trying to convey.

“Wow, I can’t believe the music charts are real. I heard that it’s hard to get on the music charts these days with just fans. I wonder where they know and listen.”

It feels good that my work is being recognized, but I have a desire to change that first letter to 1 someday. Desire, isn’t that a strange word?

“…Someday we’ll be number one.”

“Oh, you know I really love our composer, right? Don’t forget me even if you become rich later.”

Unfortunately, seeing Ki Ji-saeng, I think I have a personality that can’t give up on relationships even after countless years. Forget it, I will remember it forever and live on.

Then Ryu Iden glances at the clock, grabs my back, and pushes me into the room.

“Aren’t you tired? Go in and sleep. I’ll wake you up when I leave.”

The words are an invitation, but the actions are forced. You dictator. Before entering the room and closing the door, I quickly leave only one word.

“…Don’t forget hyung.”

If you don’t remember until you die, I’m going to finish studying space-time and take revenge.

I think I heard him muttering something behind the closed door, but I decided to ignore it.