Becoming An Idol Wasn’T On My Plan [EN]: Chapter 87

87.

“Maybe… this looks like the back alley.”

As I said, looking at the screen, I heard a staff member take a deep breath. Huh? Did they swallow something wrong?

“Oh, what’s a back alley? What does it mean?”

‘Back alley,’ like a place behind a certain road, is generally used in literature as a metaphor symbolizing the realm of the unconscious or the dark past. Since there was a scene in the last music video where ‘I’ seemed to enter ‘Lee Hyun-jae’s’ inner self, I think that place might be ‘Lee Hyun-jae’s’ unconscious.

“Oh… so is Hyun-jae getting some kind of mental counseling from Dong-hwa, you?”

I nodded, saying that was probably the case.

“I don’t know for sure, but… these kinds of stories usually go like this: if Lee Hyun-jae is trapped in the past, I intervene in those past memories and change them. The other members must be Lee Hyun-jae’s guilt or something.”

“Wow… Dong-hwa hyung, I thought so too!”

Lee Hyun-jae smiles brightly and answers. He is indeed a fox worth teaching. I don’t know if it’s right or not, but with the information given so far, it’s the most plausible interpretation.

“Besides… if we think about the strange abilities we showed in the last music video…….”

And then, I feel a finger poking at my thigh. It’s the sign that Ryu Iden and I agreed on, that I need to be aware of the surrounding situation. I look up at the staff without showing any reaction.

Quiet!! Please talk about something else!!

I could read some desperate psychology from the paper with only letters written on it. Oh dear, did I say something I shouldn’t have? It seems like I’ve committed an unexpected discourtesy.

Chae Ha-min, who was just staring at me without knowing that, urged me to continue.

“Think about it?”

…It’s amazing how he has no tact only at times like this. I suspect that the connection between the brain area in charge of ‘tact’ and the body is detachable.

“…Beautiful.”

Chae Ha-min was visibly embarrassed as if he didn’t expect such nonsense to come out of my mouth, but there’s nothing I can do.

And the MV plays again.

‘Lee Hyun-jae’ leans his head on ‘my’ shoulder and closes his eyes. And then, amidst the darkening background, ‘The Last Start: the First Last’ begins.

Sounds that build up layer by layer based on a heavy bass. It reminds me of a ruined castle.

But on top of that, a lively tone gradually increases in volume. The image of a crowd dancing on a collapsing fortress is superimposed.

…It’s not a bad song.

My voice follows. It’s an exciting tone.

I was on Fire, maybe you’re Trauma,

A perfect downfall

You’re always at the end, a word I always want to convey,

Nothing But You

So this is The First Last, there is no end

It’s difficult to understand, but roughly, the lyrics are about obsessing after a breakup.

The song had an atmosphere of dancing on ruins, so if you apply this to the lyrics, it becomes the story of a stupid person obsessed with a relationship that has already ended.

As a result of close discussions with the A&R [Artists and Repertoire] team, the keynote was set to return to the past rather than the sense of liberation from throwing away the past that I had originally intended to write.

Well… it’s not unrelated to the story I originally wanted to tell.

In the video, snakes appear all around the members, and the members are running away or fighting back.

In the meantime, ‘Lee Hyun-jae’ is isolated, surrounded by snakes, and ‘I’ start to move busily to save the other members.

Against that backdrop, the melody that follows is exciting and precarious, like a pure child stomping on everything and having fun.

Cause You Complete Me, without you

Yes, I’m already a loser (Oh, I surrender)

Cause You are Medicine, only you

Yes, you’re already fading away (So I upend the―)

In the music video, ‘Ryu Iden’ emits a white glow from his hand. A snake disappears into the light.

‘Chae Ha-min’ rises with the debris. He goes up high so that snakes can’t get on top of him.

‘Seok-jun’ puts a bird on his hand and whispers something. Then several birds begin to fly into the sky.

‘Lee Hyun-jae’ is lying on a rock, looking hazily at the sky-blue sea. Black energy surges around him.

And finally, ‘I’ gather the other members except for ‘Lee Hyun-jae’ and start running away from the snakes together.

“I was really dumbfounded when I filmed that scene. When I reached out to the snake without any CG [computer-generated imagery], it was really awkward.”

“Without CG… it’s always like that.”

“Me too, it was hard to talk to the bird when there was no bird.”

…If I remember correctly, Jun, you shouted desperately, ‘Help me, baby bird!’ in the middle of nowhere, and you say it was hard?

In the chorus, Lee Hyun-jae’s cool voice and Seok-jun’s doubling combine to heighten the sense of liberation.

Rewind― the end of you and me becomes the beginning, everything is revived on my time―

(I Trade My All, Just for the Last)

Rewind― the sun and moon are reversed, everything returns at the end of my gaze―

(I Desert My All, Cause It’s the Last)

He declares that he will give up everything for just one moment.

Just as a snake sheds its skin from the past, to move into a new time.

Just as I gave up 9 years of my life for this moment.

…Unfortunately, in the context of the lyrics, it was portrayed like the struggles of a crazy bastard trying to revive a dead relationship.

The music video goes towards the end, passing through Seok-jun’s rap and Chae Ha-min’s solo dance part. Chae Ha-min’s solo dance is a part that I composed with care, and it’s a part where liberation and various other emotions explode.

The scene where Chae Ha-min stands alone and does a wave is personally the part I think is the coolest in this music video.

In the MV, all the members gathered next to ‘Lee Hyun-jae’, but the surroundings are full of snakes. ‘Lee Hyun-jae’ writhes in pain, and the members tremble with anxiety.

“That was really painful on my back, because it was just a lump of rock.”

And Lee Hyun-jae mutters an impression that doesn’t fit the serious scene. It seems that it’s allowed to make sounds that don’t fit the atmosphere of the video in MV reactions.

Flipping hourglass, I’ll whisper eternity

Every end, I hope this is the last start

The end of the song. It’s composed of Ryu Iden and Chae Ha-min’s harmony. Ryu Iden’s rough tone and Chae Ha-min’s clear tone overlap and flip the ‘hourglass’.

And in response, ‘my’ in the video is zoomed in. ‘I’ close my eyes slightly, and the moment I open my eyes, I go back to the first scene of the music video.

‘I’ get up from my seat as before, look around and walk, then sit near a ruin and close my eyes.

And as they zoom in on me, a black curtain comes down.

And then Chae Ha-min’s dumb voice follows. When he was dancing in the solo dance part, he was a human being suitable for the impression of ‘cool’, but he has already collapsed like this.

“…Wow, I really don’t know what any of it means.”

Ryu Iden pokes my thigh and mutters.

“…Honestly, me neither.”

Since I was poked in the thigh, I naturally look ahead.

Don’t over-interpret Dong-hwa Hyun-jae!! The fans have less and less to do!!

…Isn’t a public sphere where you can’t even suggest opinions meaningless? These agency guys must get pleasure from making the fans work.

Lee Hyun-jae, who saw that, covered his mouth with his hand and started chuckling. He must be so happy to be deprived of freedom of expression.

“Anyway, that snake was really scary.”

Ryu Iden, who had only been making that impression throughout the video, muttered.

“The snake― I― was okay― because Ha-min hyung― protected me!”

As Lee Hyun-jae and I closed our mouths for a while, the stage naturally moved on to nonsense, throwing away MV interpretations.

“Everyone, there was a scene near the end where there were a lot of different snakes around, right? That wasn’t CG.”

Lee Hyun-jae fiddles with his laptop and turns on the last scene again.

“If you look closely, Ha-min hyung is smiling a little, right? Iden hyung is terrified? That’s because they’re all real snakes.”

…Oh my god, Chae Ha-min, that crazy rabbit. It’s a scene where you absolutely have to be terrified.

Chae Ha-min trembles when he sees that. If you were to express the word ‘ruined’ as a human act, it would feel like that.

“…I didn’t know either. I was just… thinking they were cute.”

At that point, it’s a disease. Laughter erupted among the members, and I smiled too.

“Okay! Luminous everyone! What did you think of watching our 2nd album music video with our Blossoms [fanbase name]? Was it good?!

As if he had never been out of energy, Chae Ha-min continued his ending remarks according to the script. Amazing resilience.

“The music video is a bit meaningful, so I hope you can find the hidden meaning together!”

Following Chae Ha-min, everyone finished their remarks one by one, and this time it was my turn to speak.

I hesitated a little about what to say, then looked at the camera head-on and opened my mouth.

“…Um, it’s the song I like the most among the songs I’ve composed. I hope you will love it even though it’s not very good.”

* * *

The day of the comeback showcase dawned.

We, who were wearing clothes without anything special, went on stage for the final rehearsal.

“Wow… here, maybe because the stage is big, we need to make the movement a little wider?”

The rabbit, who is the most skilled among our members when it comes to dancing, said.

“Then, should we go out just half a step more during the chorus?”

Ryu Iden received.

“Um… I don’t know if we’ll have time.”

Chae Ha-min starts to worry.

I don’t know anything about movement modification except that we shouldn’t bump into each other, so I should stay still.

‘…I wonder if Yoon Seong-ho is doing well.’

After the incident with Yoon Seong-ho was somewhat settled, I heard several stories through phone calls or texts, but I’m still worried. I wonder if that thug next to him will ruin the teamwork with unnecessary inferiority.

Then I slowly looked at the stage and just shook my head. It’s okay to relax for a while since I’ve done my best for now, rather than getting caught up in unnecessary self-blame again.

“…Then let’s do that!”

Damn it. I didn’t hear anything.

“…Iden hyung, please explain.”

Then Ryu Iden, who tilted his head as if he was puzzled, approached with a sly expression.

“Didn’t you hear?”

“…Human attention is easily distracted.”

“Wow! Dong-hwa hyung, I never thought you would do that!”

Chae Ha-min puts one foot in and…….

“I was talking alone for over 3 minutes…….” he muttered.

I wish you would all disappear, you damn things.