I Became A Hidden Powerhouse Of The British Empire [EN]: Chapter 82

Became a Hidden Power in the British Empire 82 (82/537)

The Downward Spiral (3)

Admiral Yang Fang of Hunan was brimming with confidence.

It wasn’t mere arrogance. He had a proven track record, and the Emperor trusted him, entrusting him with the important task of repelling the Westerners.

The White Lotus rebels and the Xinjiang Islamic insurgents had all failed to pose a significant threat to the great Qing Dynasty.

Though the Westerners may have achieved victories at sea, the true strength of the Qing Dynasty emerged when fighting on land.

Just as he had crushed the rebels, he would sweep away the Western armies like fallen leaves.

There was only one unsettling aspect: the hastily gathered militia was in terrible shape.

Many appeared to be so intoxicated with opium that their ability to fight was questionable.

Even among the officers who were supposed to command the soldiers, there were quite a few who were hooked on opium.

But it was alright. He had already prepared a brilliant strategy that would render such trivial factors completely irrelevant.

With the most solemn voice he could muster, he surveyed his subordinates and raised his fist high.

“Proud soldiers of the Great Qing Dynasty! Today, we stand here to drive out the Westerners who have invaded our land and become heroes who have saved our nation! Some of you may have heard rumors that their weapons possess strange and unprecedented power. But fear not! We have already seen through all their sinister sorcery!”

“Sorcery?”

“That’s right. I’ve heard rumors that the Westerners enhance their weapons with sorcery.”

“They say our cannonballs bounce off their ships, and their cannonballs fly from places we can’t even see them!”

In an instant, tales of how the English devils had devastated Guangzhou and the Zhoushan Islands, embellished with suitable details, spread among the soldiers.

Yang Fang remained calm and raised his voice confidently.

“But fear not! As I said, we have seen through all their sinister sorcery. The cannons they possess are merely amplifying *yang* energy [positive, active energy in Chinese philosophy] to increase their power. If we neutralize their soaring *yang* energy, their cannons will miss us as if by a miracle!”

“Ooh!”

“Originally, *yang* energy must be suppressed with *yin* energy [negative, passive energy in Chinese philosophy]. This world is made up of the harmony of *yang* and *yin*, and if men are in charge of *yang* energy, then women are in charge of *yin* energy. This chamber pot, filled with the concentrated *yin* energy of women, is our ultimate means of neutralizing their weapons!”

“A chamber pot? So, you’re saying that women’s urine has the power to block the Westerners’ cannons?”

“I’ve heard similar stories. Didn’t storytellers always tell such tales in *Romance of the Three Kingdoms* or *Water Margin* [classic Chinese novels]?”

Breaking sinister spells with filth was a familiar and proven method passed down from ancient times.

Yang Fang didn’t stop there.

Since people born in the year of the tiger were considered perfect for catching Westerners, he even meticulously arranged for many of his subordinate officers to have been born in the year, month, and day of the tiger [in Chinese astrology, these are considered auspicious signs].

With such thorough preparations, how could he possibly lose?

In fact, reports of continuous victories against the English army were already being sent to Beijing.

The fact that Lin Zexu had advocated caution, suffered great losses in battle, had all his property confiscated, and was exiled was already a well-known story among the governors-general.

So, as long as the Emperor believed that they were winning, he would continue to entrust them with command.

Since they were actually going to win anyway, he didn’t feel like he was lying.

Victory was as good as certain.

Yang Fang’s confidence gradually infected the soldiers.

“They say those guys have fewer numbers than us, and if their cannons are useless, then it’ll be harder to lose than to win, right?”

“I can’t stop laughing when I think about how those guys will panic when their sorcery doesn’t work. Hahaha!”

“Filthy Western devils! You’re all dead.”

“So, you’re saying that if we just hold up this chamber pot, the Western devils’ cannons will all bounce off? Alright, I’ll bounce them all off, so just follow me!”

Their ships used sinister sorcery to deflect our cannons, so why can’t we do the same?

Lin Zexu’s disgraceful defeat ironically served as a stepping stone to boost the soldiers’ morale.

The reason they were strong was solely because of their sinister sorcery, and if they broke that, they could easily achieve victory in reverse.

With their morale soaring, the Qing’s great army confidently set out to intercept the English army and soon spotted the enemy forces setting up camp.

“Defense unit, forward!”

At Yang Fang’s command, the soldiers holding the issued chamber pots scurried forward.

They could do it.

The pungent smell of urine stung their noses, threatening to bring up the rice they had crammed down that morning, but if this was the smell of victory, they would gladly endure it.

Rumble! Bang!

As the earth-shaking sound reverberated, they quickly raised the chamber pots as shields, as they had practiced beforehand.

It wasn’t thunder.

They had heard it so many times that they knew it in their heads. This sound was…

“The Westerners’ sorcery!”

“Neutralize the *yang* energy! Block it!”

The sound and impact were on a different level from when arrows or matchlocks were fired.

It felt much grander than their own cannons, but that was all because of the sorcery.

Could they really block something that emitted such a terrifying sound with a chamber pot?

As reality dawned before their eyes, their confidence seemed to wane, but they had to believe.

Screech!

The terrifying sound of tearing through the air felt closer and closer.

Block it. Block it. Block it. It had to be blocked.

If not… no, it could definitely be blocked. Please, let it be blocked!

“Uoooooh!”

“Aaaaaaah!”

As if trying to shake off their fear, everyone put more strength into the hands holding the chamber pots and let out a shout.

Kaboom!

With the sound of something exploding, a pitch-black darkness descended, and they could no longer see or hear anything.

* * *

“You sons of bitches!”

“Neutralize the *yang* energy, my ass! It’s not working at all!”

“Run away! Run away! We can’t break their sorcery!”

Admiral George’s eyes were filled with bewilderment at the sight of the enemy forces, who had been bombarded a few times and then subjected to concentrated fire, instantly collapsing into disarray.

I had heard the stories, but even I couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh.

The sight of them proudly stepping forward and holding out chamber pots to our bombardment was truly a sight to behold.

It was a pity that if I had taken a picture, it would have been hailed as the best photo summarizing this war.

“Admiral, the enemy has completely collapsed. We’ve also destroyed all the walls they were defending with our bombardment.”

“…Did they really smear urine on the walls too?”

“Uh… yes, it seems so.”

“It’s exactly as Minister Jang said. This is almost like a prophecy.”

The emotions in the eyes of the admiral and officers looking at me were now shifting from trust to something closer to faith.

I was certain.

At least for this war, the admiral would unconditionally say yes to whatever I said from now on.

Although I wasn’t formally enlisted in the military, it was already decided at this moment who would be the top contributor to this war.

Even if all diplomatic negotiations were excluded and only military achievements were considered, my contributions were unmatched.

Both Charles Elliot and George Elliot would report that way, so this was a predetermined future.

“Admiral, now you understand why I said we shouldn’t stop at Nanjing, right?”

“Yes, they came with what they thought were thorough preparations, but this is truly… I’m at a loss for words. In many ways.”

“Let’s investigate the process and results of this battle, as well as the kill ratio, and pass it on to the Dutch. This would be very good promotional material.”

“I will do so. However, it seems impossible to calculate the kill ratio this time as well, since there were no casualties. Did you know? The soldiers are constantly saying that they must never die.”

What kind of obvious nonsense was that? Who would want to die and fight in a war?

Feeling my bewildered gaze, the admiral hurriedly added a word.

“So, it’s like a joke that they’re more afraid of being recorded as the first soldier to die in this war than of dying. Hahaha.”

“The Qing Dynasty would be shocked to hear that.”

In other words, there were no casualties on our side in several full-scale wars that had taken place so far.

Even if there were people who were sick from injuries or endemic diseases, the fact that there were no casualties after several full-scale wars was a result that far exceeded common sense.

In fact, this wasn’t just because we fought well.

Even in this battle alone, if over 40,000 enemy soldiers had rushed in with the determination to take even one of us with them, we couldn’t have avoided taking any damage.

But the current Qing army lacked not only the technology and tactics but also the fundamental will to continue fighting.

The commanders of the British Empire, who had experienced countless wars, were not so careless as to fail to see through the enemy’s situation.

Even I could see the enemy’s level as clearly as if it were in my hand, so how much more would others?

“Minister Jang, I intend to make sure that the soldiers only remember the sense of victory from this war and erase the rest from their memories when this war is over.”

“Why is that?”

“If they have memories of such battles and later fight against countries like France or Russia… wouldn’t that be a big problem?”

“That’s true too.”

If they become too accustomed to hitting a stationary sandbag that doesn’t even shadowbox, they might panic when they have to fight against an opponent of a similar level again.

“Anyway, now that we’ve easily won this battle, Shanghai and Nanjing are as good as in our hands. As you ordered, we’ll paralyze Nanjing and then immediately move the fleet north. Do you think they’ll respond at the same level as they are now even if we push near Beijing?”

“Even so, it won’t be as disheartening as this battle, even though we won. But I’m curious if they’ll have the courage to wage a decisive battle to stop us.”

“Courage? If the capital is threatened, shouldn’t they fight unconditionally unless they raise a white flag and surrender completely?”

“That’s the problem, because they won’t be able to do that.”

That’s usually the case, but the current Qing Dynasty is not in a situation where they can do that.

By now, they’ll know that I’m broadcasting the results of the war to the tributary states in real-time, so can they really risk the fate of the capital and gamble?

It would be fortunate if they fought a battle near Beijing and won, but if they lost, the fall of the capital would be unavoidable.

The fall of Nanjing is quite a big event, but the fall of Beijing would cause an enormous ripple effect that can’t even be compared to that.

The tributary states are slowly paying attention to the direction of the war, so what would happen if the result was that Beijing was taken by the Westerners and the Emperor fled to Manchuria?

That was the result that Qing faced in the Second Opium War in the original history, and even more tributary states are watching the war situation more closely this time than then.

No, maybe one of the countries, such as Joseon [historical Korean kingdom], Ryukyu [historical island kingdom, now part of Japan], or Japan, has already sent people to Beijing.

The blockade of the Yangtze River is imminent, so if we take Tianjin and station troops in front of the gateway to Beijing, Qing will naturally be forced to choose.

Will they give up Beijing after being brutally defeated in the last fight in front of the tributary states, or will they give up as much as they can and protect the capital?

Whichever they choose, it’s a win-win situation, so I can just wait leisurely.

Anyway, they’re the ones who are nervous now, not me.

* * *

Around the time Yang Fang was making a big fuss about blocking the British Empire’s cannons with a chamber pot full of urine.

Unlike the chaotic south, Beijing, the capital of Qing, and the Forbidden City, its heart, were as peaceful as ever.

-Your Majesty the Emperor’s great imperial army is continuing to win victories against the Westerners’ army, who have invaded without knowing their place. The enemies are being driven into a corner by accumulated defeats and are begging to at least be allowed to trade.

Whether it was any front or any commander, all that was heard were reports of victory, so the Emperor’s mood was simply pleased.

“So, if they had known to be obedient when we were being generous, we would have allowed them at least minimal trade. Aren’t they truly ignorant and foolish people?”

“Your Majesty’s words are truly correct!”

“It seems that the defeat of the English is only a matter of time!”

They were arrogant just because they won a naval battle once, but now they’re in a good state.

“I heard that the English are writing down the flow of this war in detail and sending it to the tributary states. Does anyone know how that’s going?”

“Joseon, Japan, and Ryukyu have all sent word. In the case of Joseon, a delegation to explain their relationship with the English person in charge, Gillian Quai, has already departed, and Japan is also requesting that we accept their envoy.”

“There’s no reason not to. Bring them all to the capital. I will show everyone the sight of those rebellious Westerners kneeling before my authority. Then, no matter how cunningly those Westerners wag their tongues, my tributary states will not bat an eye.”

Under normal circumstances, they would not recklessly receive envoys during wartime, but the situation was slightly different now.

Reports of continuous victories were pouring in, so the unconditional surrender of the English would soon be at hand.

The more countries there were to share this achievement with, the better.

Rather, he even thought that it was fortunate that the delegations had come at this time.

No, could this be said to be the destiny of the Emperor, who carries even the fate of the heavens on his shoulders, not just simple luck?

“It seems that even the heavens are giving more strength to Your Majesty’s reign.”

“With this, Your Majesty’s majesty will once again shake the entire world.”

It was flattery, but the Daoguang Emperor burst into hearty laughter for the first time in a long time and praised the hard work of his subjects.

“Yes, when do you say the delegations will arrive?”

“Actually, it seems that they had already departed and were seeking permission. Both the envoys from Joseon and Japan said that they would be able to arrive within half a month.”

“The timing is perfect. By then, a report will come from the south that Yang Fang has completely driven out the English army, so I will personally enjoy that joy with the envoys.”

“They will be at a loss for what to do with Your Majesty’s grace.”

Of course, they should be moved, they have to be.

The Daoguang Emperor imagined the reaction of the English, who were probably regretting waking up a sleeping tiger while sweating blood, and happily raised his glass.

Come to think of it, the person in charge of the English was probably of Joseon descent.

Since a person of tributary state blood is responsible for the war, it might not be bad to make the English one of our tributary states as well.

Establishing a formal tributary and investiture relationship with a Western power was an achievement that even the great Kangxi Emperor and Qianlong Emperor had not achieved.

Ah, before that, at least the secretary or queen of the English would have to perform the three kneelings and nine prostrations [kowtow] facing the direction we are in, which would be the correct procedure.

The Daoguang Emperor was simply admiring his excellent plan that would surpass even the great ancestors.