In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 102

Everyone stopped eating and looked at me, prompted by Hwang Yu-sun’s question.

I was taken aback.

“….”

Hwang Yu-sun’s question echoed PD [Production Director] Lee Sang-man’s earlier sentiments.

Of course, the others don’t know about my past life.

The current Han Se-na is not only on a smooth career path but is also known as a daring actress who consistently makes bold choices.

Some were puzzled when I passed on ‘Fabulous’ this time, but ultimately, I won the Snowfall Award and received an invitation to Marden [likely referring to a prestigious film festival, like Cannes or Venice], which swayed public opinion in my favor.

Perhaps even more so than before.

-As expected of Han Se-na.

-She’s truly unique. Dare I say, she’s an unprecedented actress in Korea.

-I eagerly anticipate Han Se-na’s future growth.

-Let’s aim for Hollywood.

However, I’ve never forgotten the feelings of uncertainty and struggle from my past life.

Moreover, I wasn’t always confident about my decisions in this new life.

There were very few gambles where I knew the outcome with certainty.

People who don’t know this might think…

…that I always act as if I have all the answers.

There’s quite a gap between how others perceive me and how I see myself.

I smiled, not trying to hide my slight embarrassment, and began to speak.

“Of course, I’d be happy if a member of my team wins first place.”

Hwang Yu-sun raised her eyebrows slightly, responding with a questioning, “Oh?”

“But winning first place isn’t the primary goal. My aim as a mentor is to foster the growth and improvement of my team members’ skills. It’s a bit of a predictable answer, isn’t it?”

Senior Park Seok-jin chuckled at my response.

“You always manage to meet expectations.”

I laughed awkwardly along with my senior.

At the same time, I considered the image I wanted to project on this audition program.

A figure who approaches everything with sincerity and embraces challenges with courage.

And someone who diligently focuses on doing her job well.

Wouldn’t showcasing this version of ‘me’ be sufficient?

I believed I could cultivate a fresh image by building upon the unexpected side I revealed on the entertainment show ‘Desert Island’.

Hwang Yu-sun glanced at me and chuckled softly.

“You were quite eloquent in every interview. You’re certainly skilled at talking.”

I smiled brightly at Hwang Yu-sun.

* * *

“Hey, how long has it been since we’ve had a proper drinking session like this, huh?”

“Drink up, drink up!”

A spontaneous drinking session with Min-young unnie [older sister or close female friend].

It was a flash decision, a sudden craving for companionship and conversation.

“Wow, this spicy fish stew is absolutely amazing.”

It hadn’t even been an hour since we sat down, and we were already working on our third bottle of soju [Korean distilled rice liquor].

I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed such a relaxed and comfortable drink.

The alcohol tasted wonderfully sweet.

Once I was comfortably full, Unnie brought up the audition program.

We had a standing rule of not discussing work during meals, but it seemed the topic was unavoidable.

“How’s it going? What are the other mentors like?”

“It’s not bad. Senior Hwang Yu-sun has a subtly sharp edge, but she’s not unpleasant.”

“Really? I’ve heard she’s incredibly smart and strategic. That she’s good at playing the game, so to speak.”

“I think so too.”

So, her reputation preceded her even within the industry.

“So, have you given any thought to the kind of image you want to cultivate on the show?”

“Yes, I have. I think it’s best to just be myself, as usual. Rather than sticking to one specific persona, I want to be quirky, intensely driven, and willing to try unconventional challenges. Something along those lines.”

Min-young unnie nodded as she listened intently.

“Right, that’s the Han Se-na I know. Your acting style isn’t the type to be confined to a single color, anyway.”

Unnie took a sip of soju and then asked another question.

“By the way, wouldn’t there be contestants who are really determined to establish their own unique style or brand?”

“I suspect those contestants will naturally gravitate towards Senior Hwang Yu-sun. I made a list focusing on individuals who seem bold and adaptable.”

“Ah, so that’s how you’re approaching the team selection.”

Following the meeting between mentors and participants, both mentors and participants submitted ranked lists of their preferred choices.

The production team is forming teams based on those lists.

We’re scheduled to find out who our team members are on the first day of the main competition filming.

“Is there any participant who particularly stands out to you?”

I hesitated this time, finding it difficult to answer Unnie’s question directly.

Because Do Chang-hyun unexpectedly came to mind.

“There was, but….”

Unnie looked at me strangely as my voice trailed off.

“There was?”

“There was… but I think I need to observe him a little more closely. He’s a person of interest.”

“A person of interest?”

Unnie’s eyes widened with curiosity.

I shook my head, as if I didn’t want to delve into the topic.

Unnie chuckled and asked one final question.

“You’re being so secretive. So, what kind of concept are you planning to go with for the first episode?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure yet. I’m wondering what I should wear that day.”

“Clothes are important, you know. You can create an entire image with your fashion choices.”

* * *

Three days later, at the first broadcast recording studio.

The main competition studio was much larger than I had anticipated.

The sheer number of lights and cameras installed was striking.

I wondered how much they had invested in production costs.

I arrived first and located my seat on the judging panel.

I then put on the small watch I had carefully selected.

I agonized over what to wear, ultimately opting for casual attire.

The intention was to avoid making my first impression seem too intimidating or unapproachable.

I paired a loose-fitting shirt with bright jeans.

However, I dedicated as much effort to my makeup and hair as I would when preparing for a filming set.

I couldn’t afford to appear careless or unprepared to the viewers and mentees.

Other judges arrived one after another and took their seats.

Hwang Yu-sun tapped my shoulder as she walked past.

“Is today’s concept a bit simple, Se-na?”

Hwang Yu-sun, who posed that question, was wearing a navy suit and black shoes.

Unlike her character in the drama, she projected a rather sharp and sophisticated image.

Hwang Yu-sun continued to reveal different facets of herself than I had initially expected.

I smiled slightly and replied.

“I’ve heard that my impression can sometimes be perceived as cold. Do I look a bit more approachable this way?”

Then Ha Seong-jun, who arrived from behind, chimed in.

“More than approachable, you look beautiful.”

I laughed and retorted.

“Your flattery skills are impressive?”

Ten minutes later.

“Standby!”

The assistant director’s voice echoed throughout the studio, where participants, judges, and staff were all in their designated places, preparing for the recording.

“Starting recording. 3, 2, 1.”

The studio lights dimmed, and dazzling lights emanated from the screen on the stage.

As majestic music filled the air, the words ‘B Audition’ were displayed prominently on the screen.

Then, the screen opened to both sides.

The host MC [Master of Ceremonies] appeared between them.

“Hello. I’m Kim Yi-gwang, the MC of ‘B Audition’.”

I, along with the other members of the judging panel, cheered enthusiastically.

The MC immediately began introducing the program.

Relevant video clips played on the screen to complement the MC’s explanations.

“…Thus, the highest quality actor audition ever! First, let me introduce the four mentors who will guide the audition together!”

Spotlights illuminated the judging panel, and red camera lights focused on us.

“Now! First, let’s begin with Ms. Hwang Yu-sun. Please introduce yourself.”

At the MC’s cue, Hwang Yu-sun stood up from her seat and took the microphone.

“Hello, I’m Hwang Yu-sun. I decided to participate in order to reconnect with my original passion while observing talented individuals.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful. I can’t help but ask about your personal goals as a mentor! Can you share your aspirations with us?”

Hwang Yu-sun smiled and delivered a bold statement.

“I will definitely ensure that my team members reach the semi-finals and finals. The ultimate winner will also emerge from my team. That’s all.”

“Wow.”

Ha Seong-jun applauded loudly from the side.

Park Eun-gi’s eyes widened in surprise.

I also admired her confidence inwardly and applauded.

There are many formidable women in this industry.

“Next is Mr. Ha Seong-jun!”

At the MC’s call, Ha Seong-jun jumped up and saluted, eliciting laughter from those around him.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight.

As each person offered their greetings in turn, my moment was rapidly approaching.

I could feel a slight perspiration on my palms.

This unfamiliar tension is a first for me….

I hope it’s not obvious that I’m nervous.

After Park Eun-gi concluded his introductory remarks, the MC finally called my name.

“Lastly, Ms. Han Se-na!”

As I rose from my seat, my resume appeared on the screen.

-Supporting role of Yoo Ji-an in the drama – NBS Rookie Award

-Leading role of Song Soon-im in the drama – Hanho Best Actress Award

-Leading role of Lee Ji-hyun in the short film and drama

-Movie

It felt like I’ve been running non-stop, but my filmography is smaller than I imagined.

With that thought, I took the microphone.

“Hello, I’m Han Se-na.”

“Ms. Se-na, please share your determination to compete with your senior mentors!”

The MC smiled and posed a question designed to maintain audience engagement until the very end.

It was a smooth and skillful performance.

“I believe that if I dedicate myself to working collaboratively with the mentees, they will be the ones to shine. I will offer my unwavering support from behind.”

I provided an answer that was adaptable yet assertive.

If I presented myself as forcefully as Hwang Yu-sun, I risked becoming a target of ‘evil editing’ [a common practice in reality TV where editing is used to portray a contestant negatively] due to my relative lack of experience.

“Oh, I sense a strong spirit! I’m even more excited about the competition between the mentors. Now, let me introduce the two chairpersons of the judges!”

Spotlights focused on Senior Park Seok-jin and Senior Kim Hee-joo, who were seated in the center of the judging panel.

The seniors received applause and each offered a brief self-introduction.

The seniors smiled awkwardly, as if this level of attention was unfamiliar to them.

“Now, finally, let’s welcome the real protagonists of B Actors! The 16 participants!”

The screen opened once more, and the participants, who had been preparing backstage, walked out one by one.

In the meantime, the MC briefly explained the team selection process for mentors and mentees.

The participants looked at the cameras and the judging panel with hopeful eyes, filled with anticipation as they basked in the spotlight.

As I observed each of those faces, I felt my heart pounding for some reason.

“Now, from this point forward, the mentors and mentees will enter the rooms prepared behind the studio. In those rooms, the mentors and mentees will confirm their team members.”

Upon hearing those words, the participants and mentors displayed nervous expressions.

I, too, attempted to suppress my racing heart and maintain a calm demeanor.

What kind of team members will I be paired with?

The production team meticulously kept the team compositions a secret, not only from the participants but also from the mentors.

“Then everyone! Please proceed to the rooms you have been directed to!”

I Will Die as an Actress in This Life