In This Life, I Will Die As An Actress, Not As A Villainess [EN]: Chapter 88

Filming resumed immediately.

I calmed myself and knocked on Bella’s door.

It was locked.

My expression hardened slightly.

“Bella?”

“I don’t really want to talk right now.”

“I understand, but this is a time when we need to talk.”

Bella stomped over and flung the door open.

“Do I have to listen to Mom again this time?”

I looked into Bella’s eyes, which were full of anger towards me.

I was almost hurt by that look.

To Emily, Bella meant more than anyone could imagine.

A mother who was adopted adopting a daughter.

But Bella found Emily’s love overwhelming.

The two kept getting twisted.

To the point where Emily was scared.

“Didn’t you want to go to math tutoring?”

“I told you yesterday.”

“So what was the conclusion yesterday? Didn’t we decide to think about it a little more together?”

Bella was silent.

“Mom was worried. I was so shocked when I got a call that you had suddenly disappeared. If you change your plans without telling me like this….”

“But I came home.”

Bella interrupted me.

I was starting to get angry.

This was the first time I’d ever gotten so emotionally involved.

I tried to cool my head.

There might be a reason why she was suddenly acting like this after just one day.

I asked calmly again.

“Did something happen?”

Bella’s expression changed subtly at my question.

“No.”

That couldn’t be true.

In the script, Bella was teased by her friends and lied to Emily several times.

“Are the kids bullying you?”

“….”

“Are you hiding it from Mom?”

“Please! Is that always the conclusion? It’s annoying, really.”

Bella pushed me out of the door and slammed it shut again.

I felt upset.

I was angry at the child, but I could also see that she was hurt.

All those emotions were in Chloe’s eyes.

Just then, Sean came home and went upstairs to the second floor.

Holding a rag to wipe up the water stains.

Sean looked at my expression, came over silently, and hugged me.

“Cut, okay!”

As soon as the director’s okay sign was given, Chloe ran over and hugged me.

As if she was being spoiled.

Even though I knew it was acting, Chloe’s emotions must have been affected.

I was proud of Chloe for enduring it and stroked her hair.

“It’s a good start, isn’t it?”

The assistant director said, flipping through the paper with the scene list.

I was still puzzled inside.

I had rarely given myself over to the flow of emotions that arose on set like this.

It felt like a huge wave had rushed in and then quickly receded.

“Do you want to see it?”

The director gestured to me and pointed to the monitor.

I went to the monitor and stood there.

My appearance standing in front of the door Bella had closed was really unfamiliar.

I really look like someone who’s been hurt.

And full of anger….

All my emotions seemed to be alive.

More than when I auditioned with script possession.

“Let’s go this way from now on.”

I nodded at the director’s words.

* * *

Bella went to school, and I sat on the living room sofa.

I sat with my arms crossed, looking serious.

“He doesn’t even reply. Maybe he wants to deny that I’m his daughter.”

I said, looking at Sean sitting next to me.

Sean grabbed my shoulder, looking worried.

“You already have a good mom. You don’t have to get hurt anymore.”

“It’s for Bella. The reason why she keeps getting worse is because I don’t know what a real mom is.”

Sean’s brow furrowed as if he couldn’t understand.

“What are you talking about?”

“Bella doesn’t want to talk to me these days.”

“Emily, it’s just that time….”

“No, no. You don’t know. I need a different approach. This won’t work. Should we move? To Koreatown? To where my parents are?”

“Emily! Calm down, please.”

Sean raised his voice.

I was surprised and looked at Sean.

Sean had never raised his voice to Emily before.

Sean, also surprised, quickly recovered.

“I didn’t mean to get angry. Emily, you’re too worried.”

“I’m… making you tired too.”

Sean ran his hand through his hair as if frustrated by my words.

“Emily, I’m not tired, I’m frustrated. Not every mom who loves her daughter is like this.”

I sighed at Sean’s words.

As if acknowledging it.

I said quietly to Sean.

“I’ve never had a conflict with my mom.”

“….”

“My real mom abandoned me, and the mom who adopted me was such a good person. She was such a good mom that I never had a big fight with her.”

“Then you must have been a good daughter.”

“Whatever it is, I’m anxious. Bella and I aren’t connected….”

I lowered my head.

The family is connected by blood.

Emily didn’t have that.

So family conflicts were bound to make Emily anxious.

Because she felt like it could be cut off at any time, like a thread with scissors.

I clenched my hands on my lap.

* * *

“Cut, okay!”

Second day of filming.

The staff smiled brightly when they completed the last scene of the day in one take.

“Sena, your chemistry with Sean is amazing, isn’t it?”

The director complimented.

“You two really look like a couple. Somehow, it shows on screen that Emily relies on Sean a lot. As a result, Sean comes across as a reliable person.”

The director explained with a satisfied expression.

I smiled and looked at Aiden.

“I actually relied on Aiden without realizing it.”

Aiden smiled, looking puzzled.

And said quietly.

“Shall we go then?”

* * *

A small pub about thirty minutes away from the set.

Since the day we started reading, I’ve been exploring various neighborhoods with Aiden after work.

Mostly small, outer cities far from Koreatown.

Every time I walked down the street, people glanced at me.

Because they rarely see unfamiliar Asians.

I was deliberately exposing myself to those gazes.

I didn’t stop those gazes, but if I felt them sensitively, I thought I could gauge Emily’s feelings.

You could say it’s a desire to get closer to the character, even a little bit.

Even in this small pub, people at other tables were glancing at us.

Aiden, who had ordered two martinis, asked.

“Was my emotion too much in the last scene?”

We had been filming all day and were already talking about acting again.

Aiden was also a passionate actor.

I smiled and shook my head at his question.

“I was honestly a little sad for a moment.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I felt betrayed.”

Sean smiled brightly at my answer.

It was a conversation that would sound strange to the next table.

We continued to talk about the work for quite a long time, sipping our drinks.

Talking about roles, eye contact, lines, and the script.

I felt energized as I continued to discuss with a colleague who I hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Come to think of it, Sena, we ended up filming a lot of big conflict scenes in the beginning.”

I nodded at Aiden’s words.

“So I’m a little more nervous.”

“But you did well.”

About two hours later.

Aiden asked a question that wasn’t about the work.

“The media over there is very noisy, isn’t it?”

I smiled as if it was nothing at the question.

“It’s nothing. Stories that will soon fade away.”

“But you’re still worried?”

I didn’t answer and drank the rest of my drink.

Aiden nodded as if he understood.

“How can you not be worried? The director is also worried.”

“Really…?”

I was a little surprised and took my hand off the glass.

“After all, it’s a work with two actors who turned down Warners [Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.]. He said he’s never had his work get this kind of attention, so he feels pressured.”

“Ah….”

It was an unexpected part.

Come to think of it, Aiden also said that his agency had deliberately released an article.

To increase the value of the actor and the anticipation for Hometown.

It seemed that the casting of this work was attracting attention not only in Korea but also in the United States.

It was new news to me, who had deliberately avoided the internet for a few days.

The reason I temporarily cut off the internet was…

Because the comments kept popping up in my head.

-What’s so great about Hometown? Two lead actors turned down Warners for it.

-Low-budget art film? lol I’ve never even heard of the director.

-Let’s see how well it does.

-I wonder if it will even be released in Korea.

Just as I was starting to feel down, Aiden said.

“But the director said he’s going to do what he always does.”

I chuckled at those words.

“Yeah, that’s what I want.”

“Me too.”

“Shall we get up now?”

Aiden and I put down our glasses and got up.

I finished paying and went outside…

“Huh?”

In the distance, the black night sky was full of dark clouds.

The weather was ominous, as if a downpour was about to begin.

Aiden looked worried.

“Tomorrow is a really important scene.”

“I know. The script said it was a rainy day. But this doesn’t look like ordinary rain….”

Kwagagang-

Then a huge thunder roared, shaking the ground.

We both lost our words and blinked at the same time.

I have an uneasy feeling.

* * *

The next morning.

The entire city was being drenched in rain so heavy you couldn’t see in front of you.

With occasional thunder and lightning as a bonus.

Why is it that uneasy premonitions are always right?

Jinseok oppa [term of endearment for an older brother or male friend], who had flown all the way to the United States, grabbed the steering wheel.

And after a brief welcome, he clicked his tongue.

“How are you going to film in this? Didn’t you get any calls?”

“No.”

“It’s the kind of weather where it wouldn’t be strange if someone got struck by lightning.”

We drove through the rain to the set.

It was difficult to get to the outdoor set, and when we finally arrived, the set was a mess.

The staff, looking very uneasy, were gathered in groups of three or five, shaking their heads.

Are they really filming…? In this weather?

Suddenly, the time I filmed came back to me like a nightmare.

On the other hand, if I could use this well, like I did then, something amazing might come out….

Then, lightning flashed in front of my eyes.

And 3 seconds later, thunder that seemed to swallow my eardrums struck.

With that thunder, director Raymond appeared.

He had a determined look on his face, like a soldier going to war.

The director in a raincoat glared at the set.

The staff and I were all looking at the director with question marks on our faces.

Not only the sound director, but also the art director and the cinematographer were all in a mental breakdown.

After a moment of silence, the director opened his mouth.

“Let’s shoot.”

I Will Live as an Actress in This Life