Lazy Genius Striker [EN]: Chapter 191

< The Idiots >

“Ughhh! How could you waste such a golden opportunity like that! Ughhhh!”

“Seriously, that guy! Why does he keep missing the easy ones!”

“Tsk, tsk.”

Throughout the game, Rohan and Ban Seok-ho were tearing their hair out.

Even Yohan felt a bit sorry for them.

Their team was being completely dominated by Chelsea.

The game was frustrating to watch.

“Tsk, that’s weird. What’s wrong with them?”

It was strange.

The same teammates he played with until last season were still there, so why couldn’t they put up a fight against Chelsea, a team they always beat?

They’re definitely not bad players.

Well, I mean.

They might not be amazing, but they work hard.

If you work hard, shouldn’t you win?

“Capello, go for it! You do it!”

“Don’t pass to Maguire! You do it!”

“Ugh! I said don’t pass to Maguire!”

“I’m going crazy. That guy’s movement is so unnecessarily good!”

“He should either have good movement or good finishing! If he has that kind of movement, he should have the goal-scoring ability to match!”

In the 75th minute, when Maguire missed another crucial chance.

The sofa cushions were scattered all over the living room.

Yohan could see Capello on TV looking annoyed and sighing.

Capello was always cynical, but Yohan had never seen him make that kind of face during a game.

“Ah, we lost…”

“We’re screwed. From 6th to 8th in just two weeks…”

In the end, West Ham lost the game.

The score was 2-3.

Yohan could see the Chelsea players celebrating on TV.

And,

“…”

His former teammates hanging their heads low, and Coach Schmidt with a heavy expression on his face.

It seemed like the coach’s hair had gotten even whiter than it was a few months ago.

Yohan watched the scene in silence for a moment.

Then, he closed the lid of the cheese ball container.

“Let’s have dinner.”

“I can’t. I’m not in the mood to cook anything today. Let’s eat out.”

*

-[Breaking] Spotted Yohan ㄷㄷㄷ…jpg [Korean internet slang expressing surprise or excitement]

└Is that Yohan?

└Wow, the legendary Pokémon [referring to Yohan’s rarity and high value]

└What’s he been up to for the past 4 months?

└Look at that physique, lol [laugh out loud]

└Why is he so big? Almost as big as Big Ben? [Likely referring to a large person, possibly a player]

└Yohan’s gained a lot of weight, lol

└Yohan must have been living happily… He’s gained a lot of happiness

└Come back… Take responsibility for raising our standards…

└But with that body, even if he comes back… lol

└He’d probably play better than Maguire even with that body

└Agreed

└Don’t you know how athletes’ bodies work? If he gets serious and works out for a few months, he’ll lose it all

└He’s become Ban Don-shin, Ban Don-shin lol [likely a play on words, combining Yohan’s last name with a term implying weight gain]

“Hey, Yohan. Someone took a picture of you and posted it online.”

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

Grand State Park Hotel Lounge.

Rohan, who was browsing Hammers.com [West Ham fan site] while eating, said while looking at his phone.

It was a rare outing with Yohan.

Someone must have spotted Yohan and taken a picture.

The inevitable life of a celebrity.

No, Yohan isn’t just a celebrity.

He’s practically a god in the Stratford area [area in London where West Ham’s stadium is located].

“What are they saying?”

“They’re saying you’ve gained a lot of weight?”

“Hmm.”

Well, it’s not like Yohan stayed home all summer.

He still went for walks and went to the grocery store sometimes.

He always wore a hat and mask, though.

Because things get annoying when people recognize him.

But no matter how much he disguised himself with a hat and mask, there’s no way the people of Stratford wouldn’t recognize Yohan.

“I have gained a lot of weight.”

“Tsk, tsk.”

It was all because of his ridiculous appetite.

After retiring, Yohan’s already large frame had become even bigger.

It’s quite common for athletes to gain weight after retiring.

Of course, it makes sense, since athletes who exercise much more than the average person have to eat a lot.

If they don’t replenish what they burn, they won’t recover.

But what happens when they retire?

It’s hard to change their eating habits easily, so they eat the same amount but exercise much less.

Of course, they’re going to gain weight.

And since Yohan’s appetite is second to none.

It was only natural that his physique had changed noticeably in just a few months.

“He’s still skinny compared to how much he eats.”

“If all that food turned into fat, he’d already be over 200 kilograms [440 pounds].”

Fortunately, Yohan’s metabolism is as enormous as his appetite.

As Rohan and Ban Seok-ho said, he didn’t gain weight as much as he ate.

It even felt like he gained muscle.

It wasn’t saggy fat, but firm, so instead of feeling like he gained weight, it felt like he was inflated like a balloon.

Anyway.

Even though he retired, it’s not good to be obese, so Ban Seok-ho was trying his best to get Yohan to restrain himself.

Of course, compromise wasn’t easy.

Whenever his dad tried to restrain him, Yohan would say, “You told me to enjoy myself when we won the championship!” and he’d have nothing to say.

“Dad. Yohan, I don’t think he’ll be able to play like he used to even if he comes back, right?”

“Haha. I think he’d struggle to play for 45 minutes.”

“Come on. 45 minutes is a bit much. I think he’d be panting after 10 minutes?”

“Yeah. He’d come out to the touchline every 5 minutes, eat a chocolate bar, and then go back in.”

Rohan and Ban Seok-ho giggling to themselves.

Yohan didn’t care about them and focused on his meal.

What does it matter if he can’t play for even 1 minute instead of 10 minutes?

He’s not going to play anyway.

“…”

Still, saying he couldn’t play for even 10 minutes was a bit harsh, wasn’t it? It’s not like he gained that much weight.

……Okay, he gained a bit.

Sheesh.

…

“I’m going crazy. What’s the problem?”

“What is it?”

“Sigh… No, it’s nothing. I just have some worries.”

“No, tell me.”

Yohan was getting a glass of water in the kitchen,

When Rohan was in the living room, looking at his laptop and sighing deeply.

Even though he tried not to pay attention, he couldn’t help but ask, and Rohan shook his head.

“Our team, honestly, they’re definitely not a team that should be falling to 8th place. The only thing that’s changed from last season is one striker.”

“So?”

“But that one person makes a huge difference. We need to get Maguire back on track, but according to the coach, it’s going to take some time.”

Even though Yohan asked, he looked like he didn’t care, but Rohan poured out his worries.

His dad was just a fan, but his brother seemed to be having an especially hard time these days.

It’s because of the team’s performance.

His dad is just a fan, but his brother is someone who belongs to the team.

They should just do better.

Why are they making his brother so miserable?

“Haa. Anyway, I wish Maguire would get back in form soon. But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Don’t stress too much. It’s not always good just because you work hard.”

“Yeah, well… You’re right. Sigh, I need to cleanse my mind a bit.”

Rohan closed his laptop and turned on the TV.

Then, he connected his phone to the TV and played a video.

It’s a video that Rohan watches whenever he’s stressed.

[God’s Talent in God’s Body, Lazy Genius Striker Yohan Ban Special]

“How many times have you watched this?”

“It makes me feel better just watching this. My worries disappear.”

Yohan sighed.

His brother must have watched this video hundreds of times.

He never gets tired of it.

“Here, bang! Crazy long shot. The background music is crazy too.”

See?

He knows exactly what scene comes out at what minute and second, but he still smiles like he’s having fun.

What would he have done without this precious younger brother?

“Hey, but Yohan.”

“Yeah?”

“Where did the Yohan in that video go, and now there’s only a fatty left?”

“…Fatty?”

Fatty to his precious younger brother?

Fatty? Fatty? Fatty?

“Don’t think I’ll go easy on you just because you’re my brother?”

“Ah, I get it! I surrender! I surrender! I’m dying! Cough, cough!”

He didn’t even use much strength, but he’s already acting up.

“Ah, but this is a bit disappointing every time I watch it. It would be nice if there was a version that was about 10 minutes longer. It’s too short.”

The video was already over, and Rohan started searching for related videos.

“What should I watch…”

[Football Emperor, Pele Rare Video Collection]

[Argentina’s Eternal Hero, Guru Diego Maradona Special]

[Camp Nou’s God ‘Me-God’ Lionel Messi Special]

“Wow, Yohan, look at this. Even the algorithm recognizes it. That you’re in the Pele-Ma-Me line.”

“What’s the Pele-Ma-Me line?”

“Pele, Maradona, Messi. The big three. The greatest football players of all time.”

“Are those three the big three? What about me?”

Rohan scratched his head at Yohan’s question.

“Honestly, if you only look at pure skill, I think you’re number one. But…”

“But?”

“There’s such a thing as accumulation. You can’t ignore that. Why wouldn’t Ronaldo or Ronaldinho be in that line? They’re not lacking in short-term impact, but they don’t have the accumulation [consistent performance over a long period].”

Hmm. Is that so?

Yohan suddenly became curious.

“Then where am I ranked?”

“Number one in my heart.”

“Not what you think.”

“…Opinions are divided. There are quite a few people who put you at number one. But, the mainstream opinion is number four.”

“So I’m after those big three?”

“Honestly, that’s amazing. Is it even possible to be in the top 4 of all time after playing for two seasons? That’s how amazing what you showed was.”

I know.

It was pretty amazing.

“This is just my personal opinion, but this is my ranking. 1st you. 2nd Messi. 3rd Pele and Maradona tied.”

“It’s Pele-Ma-Me? Why is Messi second?”

“If Messi had only won the World Cup, it wouldn’t just be my opinion. Everyone would have put Messi at number one. But he doesn’t have that World Cup. Honestly, I understand. He’s being evaluated after Pele and Maradona because he doesn’t have the World Cup.”

“Hmm.”

Even though Yohan is ignorant about soccer, he knew the name Lionel Messi.

His dad often talked about him.

“Is the World Cup that important?”

“It’s important. It’s the biggest soccer tournament in the world. Like Messi, it’s the same for you. If you had won the World Cup with England this time, the dominant opinion would be that you would have been number one.”

“Hmm.”

“But, your ranking was lowered simply because you didn’t have the World Cup. Pele and Maradona have that World Cup win.”

Rohan said that and played the video.

It’s a video of Diego Maradona.

“Kuh, 1986 World Cup. Maradona won the World Cup with Argentina at this time. Look.”

“How do you know about something that happened decades before I was born?”

“I know a little more about soccer than you do.”

“Yeah, yeah. I may not know soccer, but I’m still ranked 4th of all time.”

Yohan watched Maradona’s video indifferently.

But, he definitely felt a different feeling.

“That game is a World Cup game?”

“Yeah. The heat is crazy, right?”

The league games, the Champions League that Yohan played in.

The heat was really amazing.

But, the heat of the World Cup seemed to be on another level.

What should I say.

It doesn’t look like simple soccer.

Should I say it’s like war?

Even Yohan, who doesn’t know soccer well, felt the heat beyond the screen, which was a little strange.

“Haa. But watching this makes me worry about this World Cup again. Maguire needs to get back on track not only for our team but also for the national team.”
Rohan suddenly sighed again.

It’s Mason Maguire who ended up filling Yohan’s void in both West Ham and the England national team.

Maguire’s form is not good, so both West Ham and the national team are worried.

If West Ham continues like this, they’ll barely make it to the Europa League, and the England national team is expected to stay in the round of 16 or 8 at best.

When Yohan was there, they won the Euros overwhelmingly and were considered the number one contender to win the World Cup.

“Soccer is not easy, not easy.”

“It was easy.”

“There are two ways to get rid of all of my brother’s worries. One is for Maguire to regain his form when he was at his best. But, that’s not perfect. Just because he finds his form doesn’t mean he’ll be able to win the World Cup. The other one is a really perfect solution…”

He said that and suddenly stared at Yohan.

“…What are you looking at?”

“The perfect solution is right here…”

“What are you looking at?”

“Ha, I have it, but I can’t use it…”

…What do you want me to do?