The Genius Decided To Live An Ordinary Life [EN]: Chapter 236

The Unconscious Self (3)

A few years ago, in the fall, Jo Il-heon, while drinking at the village hall, said something like that.

– “Those kids who used to run around in their underwear and talk nonsense, they all become normal when they go to school. When is Eun-jung going to come to her senses?”

Kim Chun-sik, enraged by those words, tried to beat up Jo Il-heon, disregarding the Three Bonds and Five Relationships [Confucian principles emphasizing social harmony and hierarchy].

While the villagers tried to stop him, saying he shouldn’t do that to someone much older, Kim Chun-sik retorted, ‘He can’t even get married, what kind of adult is he!’ and Jo Il-heon reportedly cried bitterly.

Anyway.

Choi Mi-kyung is a weirdo.

Kim Eun-jung is a know-it-all.

‘How on earth did Eun-jung get into Taeyang High School?’

Taeyang High School has a small number of female students, about 70% of the number of male students.

The competition rate and cut-off scores for the entrance exam are much higher for female students than for male students. This is because students in the area who want to go to humanities programs flock there, and just looking at the fact that the top scorer on the entrance exam was a female student every year except for the year Jin-hyuk entered, you can tell the level of the female students.

‘I guess being good at studying and taking tests doesn’t mean you’re smart.’

Watching Kim Eun-jung, who was rambling nonsense in a trance, he gained another realization. They say a friend is a teacher in life, and it seems like that’s true. Kim Eun-jung is also a good teacher to Jin-hyuk.

A negative example is still a teacher, I guess.

Looking at Kim Eun-jung reminds him of Jo Seul-chan.

Their absurd appearances, spouting nonsensical jokes and arguing with Yeom Byeong-taek, were similar. Their way of speaking is different, but their way of thinking is similar, you could say?

Light began to return to Jin-hyuk’s eyes, which had been losing focus.

‘I’m almost there!’

The two-compartment public phone booth in the distance, it’s the bus stop in front of the school.

Finally, freedom!

Drrrrrr-.

The pager vibrated once again.

‘Is it Choi Mi-jal again?’

After greeting the bus driver, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the pager.

“Hey! Get off quickly! If the UFOs kidnap the bus, I’ll get caught too!”

What on earth is she talking about?

Hey, we’ve arrived, so go back to your planet!

Jin-hyuk, scolded by Kim Eun-jung, stepped onto the sidewalk and tilted his head.

‘Who is it?’

It was a voice recording.

They didn’t leave a number message or a contact number.

There were many guys who contacted him like this as a joke, but this was the first time the pager had rung at this time. Those guys usually left messages at night.

‘I have a bad feeling.’

There was an instinctive warning that he shouldn’t just pass it by.

He had often experienced unexpected events, like a dissonance in his repetitive daily life, becoming important turning points.

His parents’ beachcombing, who didn’t know the sea, and the appearance of Moon Seok-il’s group in suits loitering around the neighborhood were like that.

“I’m going to make a quick call-”

“At this early hour? When it’s so dark?”

It’s dark, but it’s morning now.

He could check with the secure phone, but Kim Eun-jung, who was watching him like a hawk, bothered him.

Ignoring Kim Eun-jung, who was following him with quick steps, he took out a public phone card. It was brand new, with a shine and no scratches, as he had no reason to use it.

It’s a relief that there’s a public phone booth at every bus stop.

Click, click, click-.

– There. Is. One. New. Voice. Message. To. Check. The. Message. Press. 1-.

Click-.

After glancing at Kim Eun-jung, who was standing outside the booth like someone dissatisfied, he pressed play.

– ······.

The voice playback started, but there wasn’t even a static sound.

It was silent.

Only a buzzing sound similar to tinnitus could be heard, as if the darkness had left a voice, and an eerie silence hung over the receiver.

He held his breath and closed his eyes tightly, focusing his senses on his hearing.

– Ugh······.

Where have I heard this sound before?

No matter how much he searched his memory, he couldn’t recall hearing that sound.

‘It’s strange. I feel uneasy.’

Yet, he had a sense of déjà vu, as if he had heard it before. And at the same time, a chilling feeling surged like an electric current through the back of his neck and cheeks. Not only that, but goosebumps rose from his side to his chest.

Wham-!

He flung open the phone booth door.

“Hey! Jin-hyuk! Where are you going!”

He threw the annoying bag at Kim Eun-jung’s feet.

He couldn’t even put the receiver back in place, nor could he pull out the card, and he ran.

‘It’s clear.’

It was the sound of someone dying.

***

Jo Seul-chan vaguely remembers his mother.

Because she left home when he was too young, he was told by his grandmother and friends that he didn’t remember her, but the touch of his mother, who secretly visited home until he was about six years old, was dotted on Jo Seul-chan’s cheeks.

– “Mother, don’t keep coming back. Seul-chan doesn’t look for his mother anymore.”

His mother would quietly come at night to meet his grandmother and stroke Jo Seul-chan’s cheeks.

He didn’t have the courage to open his eyes.

So, Jo Seul-chan didn’t see his mother’s face. He just thought that was her when his grandmother showed him a picture of a woman holding a baby and smiling, telling him, ‘That’s your mother.’

– “Money is nothing. Raising one boy is nothing. His father raised me alone.”

He wished he could at least hear her voice, but she always stayed outside with his grandmother when they talked and then left. It was because his grandmother said she might wake the sleeping child, so they only met outside.

After doing that a few times, his mother stopped coming.

In his young mind, he hated his grandmother for a while.

– “When you’re still young, your mother should find her own life. I’ll raise the child somehow. What good will come from living here?”

He thought his mother wasn’t coming because she had made her steps lighter, so he hated his grandmother.

As he grew older, he seemed to understand his grandmother’s heart. His grandmother didn’t tell his mother to abandon Jo Seul-chan, but rather made a choice to save her young daughter-in-law. She didn’t want her to grow old alone like her, so she sacrificed herself.

And as she said, she lived for her grandson.

He felt like he shouldn’t be aloof when she was suffering so much for him.

Even if someone hit him and bullied him at school, even if his face was swollen and bruised, he would make excuses that he had been playing. He always lied with a bright smile. Because he didn’t want to upset his grandmother.

He didn’t resent that he was living like this because of his mother.

He thought that his mother, who left crying because she was worried about her young son, was a longing presence, not someone to hate.

He graduated from elementary school safely, went through middle school, met good friends, and was already a second-year high school student.

Jo Seul-chan has a dream.

A dream to learn a skill, get a job early, and make his grandmother live comfortably.

“Oh my, Seul-chan, what are you doing outside in the cold?”

“I’m just going to change the briquettes! Don’t come out in the cold!”

Briquettes are the cheapest and least labor-intensive fuel.

If you order them, they are delivered by truck, but Jo Seul-chan’s house is surrounded by fields, so cars can’t enter. Even so, the briquette shop owner was a grateful person who carried and stacked the briquettes all the way to the briquette storage for his grandmother.

“Oh my, oh my, why is March so cold?”

The place that used to be a traditional outhouse in one corner of the yard is now used as a briquette storage. When he sees the briquettes piled up in the storage, he feels grateful to his grandmother, the briquette shop owner, and Son Jin-hyuk’s mother.

His grandmother raised Jo Seul-chan, the briquette shop owner didn’t mind the trouble, and Son Jin-hyuk’s mother… it’s too much to even mention.

“Ah, right! I should call my mother tomorrow since it’s the first day of school.”

Son Jin-hyuk’s mother sent a construction worker to support the remodeling of the traditional kitchen into a modern one, saying that it was hard for his grandmother. It was an inconvenience that only someone who did housework could know and someone with affection could improve. She also tore down an unused room and made a bathroom and toilet inside the house.

Han Yu-young added that she was helping within the limits of not being a burden, and that he should live kindly and diligently.

Ring-.

“Oh my, yes. Mother, how have you been? Yes-. Jin-hyuk is also a second-year student starting tomorrow-. Oh my-, of course. Thanks to you, Mother, for giving me bus fare, I’m riding it well-. I haven’t missed a single day of school, and I’m told I’m the best at the academy-. Girlfriend? Oh my-, that’s not something a student should be doing-. I have to study-. Yes, yes-. Mother, go in now?”

So many people are helping him, he knows that he shouldn’t wander even if he wants to.

Perhaps it’s because his passive personality, which was used to being ignored, has become outgoing, or perhaps it’s a sign that his life is going well. He made many friends at the industrial high school, which is known to have many rough guys. When they heard he was close to Son Jin-hyuk, even the guys who used their fists showed him favor. Thanks to the teachers who recommended Jo Seul-chan as a model student, he also received a scholarship.

So.

Even if he couldn’t remember his mother’s face, even if he couldn’t remember her voice, it was okay.

‘But why is it so clear today?’

After changing the briquettes, massaging his grandmother’s arms and legs, and finishing preparations for the first day of his second year with an excited heart, he fell asleep, and his mother appeared in his dream.

In the past, the young mother in the picture appeared blurry, but today she appeared quite clearly.

The joy and gratitude of seeing her after a long time was brief, and the sight of his mother crying silently was strange.

‘What is it? Why are you crying out of the blue?’

The awkwardness that had turned into pressure weighed on his heart, and an unpleasant chill scratched his cheeks eerily. His eyes opened on their own.

But his eyes were strange.

No, it would be more accurate to say that his head was strange.

The ceiling was spinning, and when he tried to blink, his eyes felt dry and his eyelids felt heavy.

His body was stuck to the floor, and he couldn’t move.

Carbon monoxide poisoning.

It was a phenomenon he had experienced a few times.

‘That’s strange. I changed it with a fresh one.’

In general households, carbon monoxide poisoning usually occurred when wet briquettes were used. It could also happen if the flue was torn and leaking, but that didn’t apply to Jo Seul-chan, who did his own repairs every winter.

He was most careful about checking the heating and changing the briquettes, even for the sake of his grandmother, who was frail for her age.

Where’s his grandmother?

He barely moved his eyes to find his grandmother.

She was lying on her side without moving.

He even doubted if she was breathing.

‘It seems like Mom came to take me······. Then did Mom go to heaven too······.’

Or maybe it was heaven’s will for him to see his mother’s face one last time.

It’s a pain that those who haven’t experienced it don’t know.

His head felt like it was splitting, and even when he tried to balance his body, his muscles wouldn’t work.

It was a feeling of powerlessness that made him think he was going to die.

Even breathing was difficult. Of course. The heart is also a muscle that moves with force. Like when he drank the soju [Korean distilled spirit] that Yeom Byeong-i brought out of curiosity, his heart was racing, but it was just beating fast. The fresh air that his body wanted wasn’t coming in, so his heart was no better than an engine idling.

His pulse was fast, but his mind was gradually turning black.

It was because the accelerated pulse was circulating blood carrying carbon monoxide throughout his body.

To survive, his brain urged his heart to supply oxygen, and the vicious cycle of that altered blood spreading faster and faster throughout his body.

‘I don’t think I’m going to make it this time······.’

Although Jo Seul-chan was insensitive, in the past, if he saw anything strange, he would wake his grandmother and go out to the yard to solve the problem. Because in a house where only two people lived, no one could be sick as they pleased. He also didn’t forget to open all the doors and windows to ventilate and relight the briquettes using charcoal.

But today, he couldn’t even move a finger.

‘It seems like I drank a lot this time-.’

He thought he would feel regret.

If he died young.

He wanted to find and meet his mother, make money, and get married.

He wanted to have many children so that the children wouldn’t be lonely, and they could live together, playing and fighting.

But he didn’t feel much regret.

The terrible carbon monoxide only gave him the pain of wanting to rest comfortably rather than clinging to life.

The extreme of pain that makes you want to abandon yourself.

He looked at his grandmother again.

She was motionless, and it seemed like she wasn’t breathing.

His pulse was getting faster and faster, and the faster it got, the more dizzy he felt.

If he closed his eyes, the dizziness would be okay, but it felt like his eyeballs were burning.

He couldn’t close them, nor could he open them, so what was he supposed to do?

It seemed like it would be okay to end it like this.

The endless poverty and loneliness, and his grandmother’s suffering.

But he didn’t want to be defeated helplessly, so he pressed the speakerphone button.

‘119.’

Beep- Beep- Beep-.

Ring, ring, ring-.

He seemed to have lost his mind for a moment while waiting for the call to connect.

Beep, beep, beep, beep-.

Only the signal tone indicating that the call had ended pierced his tired eardrums.

‘Ah······.’

Redial.

– Yes, this is 119······.

“Ugh, ugh-”

When he tried to say something, he felt nauseous and his uvula was hit.

– Don’t make prank calls.

Click.

Ah, so that’s how it got cut off earlier.

He was used to being ignored.

Whether by people or the world.

He didn’t know how to hate, but he had no intention of resenting them. How busy and stressed they must be.

‘I guess I’m done for······.’

He wanted to say his last goodbyes.

To his friends who didn’t ignore Jo Seul-chan and gave him the greatest memories of his life.

He didn’t know what time it was, so he couldn’t call.

Yeom Byeong-i didn’t have a pager, so there was only one person.

“Ugh-”

As if forcibly controlling someone else’s body, he reached out his arm, which wouldn’t listen, and picked up the receiver. It felt like he was squeezing out the remaining life force.

It was too much to hold for long, so he put the receiver to his ear and fumbled for the buttons.

“Ugh······.”

He barely suppressed the nausea, but all that came out was a groan, he couldn’t make a sound.

His vocal cords wouldn’t even tighten, he was so badly affected.

‘Damn it.’

It had become a contact that was worse than not contacting at all.

It would be better to cancel it.

Fumble, fumble-, click.

– It has been saved in the voice sample.

Damn it, damn it······.

– The number you wish to contact-.

Even the guidance voice from the receiver was grating on his ears.

He wanted to try again, but he had no strength left.

Click-.

He accidentally touched it and it was cut off.

Even the thin consciousness he was barely holding onto.

Cough-. Haaah······.

***

What completes a human being?

It was a proposition that Jin-hyuk had been endlessly pondering.

He had never uttered grand words like humanism or love for humanity, nor had he ever put them in his head.

Whap, whap-.

‘Hold on!’

Connection.

All things are connected by that name.

The name connection does not only exist as a link between people.

Like the Little Prince and the fox in Saint-Exupéry’s story.

Jin-hyuk and General, Yu-jin and Haeng-un also formed connections and made each other exist.

In this way, all things in the world are bound by the chain of connection, repeating birth and death.

Jin-hyuk now realized that what made him exist, the driving force that had kept him alive, was not the obsession with life.

No one was precious, and no one was lowly.

There was only the difference in the relationship with him, and the meaning he gave was important.

Whoosh-.

In time with the sound of the air hitting his ears, the streetlights and store lights stretched out behind him like streaks of light being sucked into a black hole. Only Jin-hyuk was escaping at full speed, avoiding the black hole.

Without the time to ponder what was going on, he ran to find the owner of the voice.

The recorded voice was speaking. That meant it was an urgent situation.

‘Wait for me!’

Joker Captain is coming.